Director Sheppard stepped into her office and within an instant she froze. Damn it he had been in here! She took a deep sniff of the cigar haze still lingering in her office and stared at the empty liquor bottle on her desk.
She turned to Dr Jacobs and instructed her to stay in the outer office until she could ascertain what he might have touched. How dare he! What cheek to come to her office and …
She whirled and ran to her hidden secret compartment and her heart stopped when she found it empty. Damn it DAMN IT!! He could RUIN her and if he found out about the secret Atlantis Stargate, there would be more than human lives at stake here!
Ok calm down Jen. There are currently more important issues to attend to. McGee must be apprehended IMMEDIATELY. She took a deep breath and told herself firmly. She was the Director of NCIS and people were looking to her to get this situation under control. Then with a pull on her jacket to shift it back into place she strode to her desk and sat down ready to start making calls and pulling in favors.
Instead she found herself perched too high up on her own chair with her feet not touching the ground. She felt like she was a child again in her father's chair. Of course he had altered her chair. She found that she didn't like this new McGee very much at all. The old one had his moments of charm and he certainly was an excellent agent but this new upgraded version seemed to delight in pissing her off. Maybe he was just getting her back for tricking him into resigning after that incident with his sister. She ground her teeth in frustration and fumbled with the control levers under the chair.
She suddenly shot to the ground and tipped forward onto her desk with an oomph clutching at some paper left on the desk. With an exasperated sigh she stood, grabbed her chair, corrected the levels and then with a deep calming breath sat back down at her desk again. Ok remember this is not his fault, Jen. He is a victim here too. It was not his fault he was drugged. Your actions here today may save a talented young agent not only his life but his career. All this is not his fault. She repeated it to herself like a mantra as she reached for the phone. Suddenly her eyes fell on the doodled to do list, her eyes searching the first item.
Ziva.
Marvelous. Not only did she have a rogue genius possibly armed agent on her hands she had a horny one as well. Just great! This day was just getting better and better.
With a sigh she picked up the phone and placed the first order, restricting anyone from leaving the Base and anyone coming in must be cleared personally by her. Armed patrols to roam across the exterior of the building, Department heads had been alerted. Now to shut down his security clearance and alert the other agencies.
And where the hell was Cynthia?
Gibbs, Tony and Ziva met back at the bullpen.
"Any luck?" Gibbs looked at Tony and Ziva who were flushed from their headlong dash down every corridor and stairwell in the large building.
"Nope. It's like he's disappeared. We have been through this entire building and no one has seen him. If it wasn't for the damn music changing all the time I would think that he headed off somewhere else."
Gibbs was barely listening to Tony as his eyes slid to the side of him and stared at the wall.
"What the hell is that?"
'What?" Tony and Ziva turned to see what Gibbs was looking at. It took an instant for Tony to recognize what was wrong and when he did he laughed.
"Well Probie is still definitely in the building"
The scrolling red light bulletin that apprised them of any immediate threats that ran across the wall of the office was currently displaying a new message. Where it had previously stated the current alert level in Iraq it now had scrolling across…..
New NCIS Rules: No throwing paper at colleagues heads, no name calling, no stealing of stationary from others desks, all computer glitches repaired must be paid for with a kiss from a female colleague and 20 bucks from a male, superglue is banned from the entire agency, Officer David must never be to allowed to drive……………..
The list was long and complicated but it was obvious who wrote it. Gibbs just shook his head.
"Well if that's the sort of stuff that's taking up his time instead of wiping out the US Stock market then great."
WIPEOUT!
Wah Wah Wipeout!
The three of them turned and stared at the speakers as the song changed to the Beach Boys Wipeout and the familiar drumming sound filled the room.
Gibbs groaned and cursed, his fist clenched in frustration.
"He has been listening to us the entire time! No wonder he's always two steps ahead. I don't know how he is doing it but…."
Gibbs stood in the center of the room and shouted up to the speakers hidden in the ceiling
"You up there somewhere McGee? You get your butt down here now! We need to get you treated for the drug you have running through your system. It could be dangerous to you. We don't want anyone harmed. Just come to us and we will make sure your safe"
Tony couldn't keep the grin off his face at the sight of Gibbs shouting to thin air in the middle of the bullpen.
"Hey McGee! Don't you go silent on me now. I know you can hear me! McGee! Now you come to us quietly or we will be forced to chase you around this building and capture you ourselves. So for your own safety and ours please come out from wherever you are? McGee? What do you say?"
The song suddenly changed abruptly and for a second there was silence. The trio waited with baited breath to see if McGee would speak and reveal himself to them.
Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
Ill be watching you
Every single day
Every word you say
Every game you play
Every night you stay
Ill be watching you
Oh, cant you see
You belong to me
How my poor heart aches
With every step you take
Gibbs kicked the nearest waste paper basket in frustration. Tony winced and then found himself having his own one side conversation with his team mate.
"Ok very funny McGee. We get it. The Police, Every Step You Take. Well funny guy you know we're going to have to keep coming after you and when we do there is a very ticked off Forensic Scientist who will be giving you some serious grief for the stunt you pulled earlier."
You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you?
Tony's mouth dropped open while Ziva laughed. Even Gibbs couldn't help the wry smile on his face as he studied the speakers as if McGee would suddenly appear from out of them.
"Oh hardi har har McGee. Very funny is that the best you can do?"
I need a lover that won't drive me crazy
Some girl to thrill me and then go away
I need a lover that wont drive me crazy
Some girl that knows the meaning of ah-
Hey hit the highway!
"Oh bloody marvelous! My life has been reduced to a John Cougar Mellencamp song! Seriously McGee, you and I are going to have some words when we catch you. And we will! "
Ziva couldn't smother her laugh. She thought the song was perfectly appropriate.
"Oh McGee do me. Do me. What's a song for me?"
Gibbs glared at her but it was already too late.
Her methods are inscrutable!
The proof is irrefutable
She's so completely kissable.
Our lives are indivisibleirresistible, simply irresistible
She's a craze you'd endorse;
She's a powerful force
You're obliged to conform,
When there's no other course
She's used to look good to me, but now I find her--
Simply Irresistible
Ziva preened happily as she considered being simply irresistible while Tony rolled his eyes. Seriously. Gibbs turned and called out again.
"We warned you McGee. Now we don't want to harm you and we don't want you to hurt us OK? But we have to bring you in."
Gibbs turned to Tony and Ziva and quietly whispered into their ears.
"Ok continue your sweep of the building. I'm going to go speak to the Director. Get me there if you so much as hear him sneeze in an air vent. Get hold of the plans of this place and back track to anywhere that shows a concentration of secure ports, cabling that sort of thing. What he is doing is pretty advanced stuff and simply wouldn't be possible out of a supply closet."
With a nod Tony and Ziva headed out, Ziva still humming 'Your So Vain" under her breath
Gibbs turned and ran lightly up the steps and headed to the Directors office. He walked in, with a hand up to halt Cynthia's plea as he stepped through the door unannounced but realized that Cynthia wasn't there.
He sat down in front of Jens desk, trying to hide the smirk on his face. Jen was obviously familiar with McGee's music choices. Oh Boy was McGee going to get it! He had to give it to him, the man had balls.
She's a very kinky girl
The kind you don't take home to mother
She will never let your spirits down
Once you get her off the street, ow girl
That girl is pretty wild now
The girl's a super freak
The kind of girl you read about
In new-wave magazine
That girl is pretty kinky
The girl's a super freak
"And just what do you think is so funny!" Jenny's patience was wearing thin and no one had yet been able to isolate the damn music running through her office. Loudly. And the same song over and over? It was really pissing her OFF!
Gibbs smiled "Super freak? You know McGee has picked songs he thinks describes all of us?"
"Yeah well I think it's completely inappropriate and I have no idea where he gets those ideas from. Kinky indeed!" Jen huffed while Gibbs considered that perhaps McGee was a better observer than he thought. From his experience Jen could be a super freak when she wanted to be. Gibbs smiled again as he considered that McGee had seen her wearing leather dominatrix gear. Perhaps for now he might keep that to himself.
That girl's all right with me, yeah
She's a super freak, super freak
She's super-freaky, yow
Super freak, super freak
She's a very special girl
The kind of girl you want to know
From her head down to her toenails
Down to her feet, yeah
"Well I have done what I can to isolate the Base, MTAC, our firewalls, alert everyone I can think of and Dr Jacobs is now working remotely from here with her team on the antidote, such as it is. So far I don't understand what it is he is up to? No ones been hurt or demands made or to our knowledge anything important been taken. He can't have been smuggled off base as not so much as a letter has gone out since we found out. Do you have any idea what he is up to other than submitting the building to some really bad DJ'ing?"
Gibbs shook his head. "I'm in the dark as much as you. I have tried to think like he would….." Jen raised her eyebrows at that "But I have no idea how he thinks the way he does normally let alone with some sort of drug/super virus in his system"
"Not to mention an entire bottle of good cognac"
Gibbs looked up at her surprised "An entire bottle?"
"Oh yes didn't I mention that he had been in my office, messed with my chair, drunk my liquor, rummaged through my private files, taken my lap top, smoked cigars…Oh and he left this"
Jen flung the To Do list at Gibbs. Gibbs caught it and read it, his eyebrows soaring. He considered that perhaps the little crush McGee had always had on Ziva might now be soaring out of control, especially as he seemed to consider her simply irresistible. And was that a tank on the list?
Suddenly the phone rang and Jen picked it up.
"No stay there. I will send him down. Good work DiNozzo. Take him to Interrogation. That should be secure enough for him." Jen looked across at Gibbs beaming.
"That was Tony. They cornered him in front of an empty vending machine on the other side of the building. How about you go and try and get some answers from him?"
"With pleasure Director"
Gibbs headed out of her office and down the stairs. He glanced up at the alert sign which had changed again to now read….
Please make sure you have safe sex with your work colleagues. Condoms are available from these Departments: Legal, Autopsy…..
Gibbs sighed again. Just what the hell was McGee up to?
(Come on people please review and let me know what you think. Do you like? Silly Funnny What? And its does inspire me to go faster!)