Ch. 10
The following morning brought with it my first panic attack.
Darylle had kissed me! I had kissed him!
Pacing my room, I relived the conversation over and over in my head, pouring over every detail. He had openly said that he wanted me for his wife. His wife! What had seemed perfectly acceptable while surrounded by moonlight and magic was now more terrifying than anything I'd yet faced. How could I possibly think about marrying at my age?
Somewhere in the middle of my horror, Lorella woke up. After only one look at my face she sat me down and ordered me to spill the beans. I did so in a rush, feeling my face catch fire when I recounted the kisses. She all but had a heart attack when she heard about them and had me pause in the telling to describe exactly how they felt and whether I kissed him back or not. That in itself took an extra half hour, so by the time I'd given her every nugget of knowledge I had to give the sun had fully risen in the sky.
"Wow. You'd be a princess! Wow!" She finally breathed, sitting back and shaking her head in disbelief. I saw it in a different view. How could a human like me ever hope for something between Darylle and me to actually work out?
"Listen, I don't want to give up on my world yet. The empress's scholars are searching for a way as we speak. If they find it, then I have to go back. Even if it's to say goodbye. I have to, Ella." I spoke barely above a whisper, scared that she would be angry with me, but she only looked sad.
"I would, too, if it were me in your place. It's your home, Jewls, and neither Darylle nor I would stop you from returning. Whatever you choose when the time comes, we will support you." She said softly, squeezing my hand. I smiled, relieved and happy to have such a great friend behind me, and squeezed back.
"Now! We much find something beautiful for you to wear for your prince!" Lorella exclaimed, an expectant grin breaking across her face. I laughed and shook my head.
"I'm not wearing any of those ridiculous dresses! They're all so indecent!" I said firmly but with a grin. At this she only nodded sagely and tugged my hand until I stood.
"Let me show you the second closet." She said and dragged me off before I could reply. I followed without resistance, completely willing to let her have her way.
Several minutes later I was sitting on the little stool before the mirror in my room wearing a beautiful pale red dress that accented my figure without making me look sleazy. I was as in love with it as I'd been with the other. A slight tug brought my attention to the small woman currently curling and pinning my hair. This had been our deal. She'd make sure that all my clothing was approved by me first, and I'd make sure there was always enough time in the morning for her to do as she pleased to my hair. The mess of black on my head was too long and hard to keep tame anyway, so I was content with the arrangement. Already half of my hair was sitting at the back of my head in a complicated trail of curls and flowers freshly borrowed from the garden. I'd been aghast at the idea of picking such beautiful things, but Lorella had placated my misgivings by simply holding out a hand and saying "please". The purple and blue flowers had removed themselves from the others seemingly of their own choice.
The girl looking back at me in the mirror was a stranger but one I'd gladly get to know. Everything about me was different now. My skin, courtesy of the many lotions and oils in the bathroom, was silky soft and sun-touched, my hair light and shiny, and my hands, though still rough from years of work and scraps from the jungle, at least appeared smooth. I'd never in my life felt so beautiful or so at peace. The massaging brush in my hair wasn't a bad touch either.
"Done." Lorella said in satisfaction only ten minutes later. I grinned at her work. My hair, while intricate and beautiful, was still pulled back from my face just the way I liked it. It was amazing how well my new sister knew me already.
"Now what?" I asked as I stood and pulled on my slippers. Another thing I loved about this world is that no one was required to wear anything harder to walk in than riding boots.
"We go find Darylle and show him just how much of a catch you are!" She enthused with a happy grin. Suddenly I wasn't feeling so content.
"Um, is that a good idea? Maybe I should find something else to wear, or not go out at all. Yes, I like that one! Let's not go out at all!" I said in a panicked rush. This was too much! I knew nothing of making a guy fall for me. I didn't even know how to flirt! Why had I gone along with this crazy woman?
"Jewls! Calm down!" She cried and shook me. I gulped and tried to do as she told me. "He'd think you were beautiful no matter what you wore! I suspect he first thought you so back when you were covered in grime and wearing nothing but other-worldly, torn clothing! This is to show him that you are willing to try and be his! You are, aren't you?" Her eyes bored into my own as she spoke her last question. Was I? Would I give up my best friend, the only home I'd ever known, for a man I'd known for little more than a week? Two kisses and a half promise weren't much to go on. I needed to take this slow, for both our sakes. After all, who knew what would come to pass?
"I am willing to try, but I must be cautious. You know why…" I said quietly, not quite able to look her in the eye. I feel more than saw her nod since my eyes were still down and her hands still on my shoulders.
"That is enough for now. No one will ask you for more." Lorella said gently. "Now, we must go out and meet him. We will stop and speak to anyone we see as well. The people need to see you as one of them rather than a visiting human. That would be important even if Prince Darylle hated you."
Taking a deep breath, I lifted my gaze and set my mouth in a small smile. I had to try. I'd regret it for the rest of my life if I didn't.
The garden, when we got outside and descended the ladder, seemed different than earlier this morning, less brilliant. Confused at the subtle change in atmosphere, I leaned over and peered at the nearest flower. The white and yellow blossom was beautiful, perfect, but something about it wasn't right.
"Jewls..?" Lorella inquired in confusion. I waved at her to wait a moment and carefully lifted the petals. Tiny black spots peppered the stem and leaves. Even as I watched they grew slowly bigger. My heart dropped to my stomach and then jumped into my throat.
"Lorella!" I gasped. "Something is wrong! We must find the Keeper!" Without waiting for her response, I took off running. He wasn't at the gate, so I turned right on a whim and kept going. High walls of flowers flew by on either side of me as I moved deeper into the gardens until they gave away suddenly to a three-way crossway. Slowing to a stop I spun in place, at a loss. Which way should I go? Something in my gut told me that my time was running out.
"Come on Julianna, do what mom always told you to do when you're lost." I spoke to myself in a whisper and closed my eyes. As a child my imaginative mind had had a bad habit of running ahead of me. I'd go into a panic and forget where I was, what I'd been about to do. Mother had always sat calmly beside me and whispered instructions in my ear.
"Close your eyes, breathe. What does your heart say, babygirl?" I did this now as the memory of her voice rang in my ears.
"Left." I breathed and took off running again. Behind me I could hear Lorella's desperate calls. She must have not seen where I'd turned. For a passing moment I prayed I'd be able to find a way back, but then I pushed it aside. Now was simply not the time. As I ran the walls of flowers became walls of thorns that pricked my skin and tore at my dress and hair. Still I ran on, all thoughts of Darylle and Lorella gone. I was on autopilot, taking turns and choosing paths as my feelings demanded. When my mind was in such a state it wandered, touching on random questions and events. Now it played back the small amount of time I'd spent in this world.
Already I was being hunted by enemies, had saved an old woman from a terrible curse, fought and killed a giant, and let the people here place a mark on my heart. On top of that my right arm was more plant than flesh now, something I was a bit worried about. Every day brought a new wonder or terror. When would I have one that was uneventful? Now the Keeper was in trouble, and I had the gall to think that I may be of help rather than going to find someone more suitable. Yet my feet did not stop. By now I was deep in the maze that was the Keeper's dwelling.
On and on I ran while the hedge of thorns grew steadily taller and narrower. When the prickly growths were so close that I was speed walking sideways, getting cut and sliced with every step, I began to lose hope. Then, so quickly that I continued on sideways for several more steps before stumbling to a stop, the hallway became a clearing. In the center of the little circle of grass was the Keeper. Bleeding and dirty, I ran to the crumpled heap that he was. With shaking hands, I carefully rolled him over to look upon his face. What I saw was a man at death's door.
"Julianna…" He whispered, his voice lifting and falling like a gentle breeze.
"What can I do?" I asked, my voice dead with exhaustion and fear. He smiled, showing teeth as green as a treeling. His breath came in ragged gasps that whistled through his teeth.
"There is little that can be. Someone has poisoned my home and thus poisoned me. To cure my physical body would only slow the process. To save this garden and the barriers protecting this city, you must find where the contamination is and stop it." As he spoke his voice grew softer and softer, until my ear was all but pressed to his mouth. Leaned over the way I was, the little bottle of potion around my neck slipped out and bumped off my chin. Suddenly remembering its contents, I hurried to take it off and open the cork. Light poured from the opening, surprising me, but then I was focused again on what was to be done. With no knowledge of how much it would take to heal him, I settled for the smallest amount and let a single drop fall into his mouth. He swallowed immediately, his eyes growing large. For a long time there was no other change, but then he shifted where he lay and lifted his head to better see me. I sat up a little to allow him.
"You freed her?" He asked, then laid his head back and sighed. "You are full of unexpected things, child, but I am not surprised. She needed a mind untainted by the illusions of this world, and that is what you have. Thank you for stopping me from meeting my old friend Death, but, as I said, this has only slowed the process. The poison has to be stopped where it was implanted." His voice was already stronger than the almost inaudible whisper it was a few moments before, and I sat up straight.
"I promise I won't use the potion on myself, and I will tell Da-Prince Darylle right away about the poison." I vowed solemnly. This whole event had left me thread-bare and in pain both emotionally and physically. After all that had happened in the last few days I was close to collapse.
"You are tired." The Keeper said. It was a statement of fact rather than a question. I laughed weakly.
"I'm sure you are more so than I am."
"Yes, I am weary, but you are not accustomed to the burdens that are daily being laid upon your shoulders as I am. Your body is not well equipped to lift the pain and confusion that this world brings you. Come, I will carry you back to your friends. They worry for you." With this the Keeper stood and lifted me in one quick motion. Shocked at his sudden recovery, I didn't think to protest until we were about to step into the far too narrow hallway that was the way back.
"Won't we be too wide?" I squeaked, only to sigh in relief as the wall parted for us.
"Did you run all the way here? You're quite cut up. My friends were not kind to you." He asked, apparently looking at me fully only just now. I shrugged.
"The flowers near my house are dying. I knew I had to get to you fast."
"You are selfless to a fault, child. You will destroy yourself."
"If it is to save those who've been kind to me then it's a fate I'd accept gladly." I replied grimly, and then laughed. "This world has already got me speaking as if I'm from a fantasy novel, but I mean every word."
The Keeper regarded me with calm eyes as he walked, his gaze seeming to peer into my soul. I wondered briefly what he found there, but quickly grew uncomfortable under the relentless scrutiny and looked away. We were already back into the flowers. I could see the dying ones clearly now. They spotted the healthy walls like boils. A fury not unlike the one that had given me the strength to attack the other day boiled in my stomach. I would find the one who'd done this and make him pay.
"Be careful, child. My gift responds to emotion as well as thoughts." The Keeper cautioned. Glancing down, I realized that my right arm was pulsing a dull red and starting to grow spikes. Taking a deep breath, I forced myself to calm down and watched as the growth stopped moving and turned green once again.
"As it spends more time with you it will begin to take on a form that reflects your inner self. If you give it too much anger and revenge, it will turn against you and become a curse rather than a gift."
I shook my head and sighed in shame.
"It just infuriates me. There's a new evil attacking me or the people I know every day I'm here. I want there to be piece for a full twenty-four hours!" I said irritably, but with an effort managed to remain calm. The keeper nodded, an expression that held all the sadness of the world in its depths adorning his features.
"We will work together when the time comes. It is all we can do. How it will end depends on which road you choose when the choice is given to you."
"What do you mean?"
The keeper didn't reply, instead sitting me on my feet and melding into the closest wall. Just before he was gone entirely his voice whispered into my ears.
"Such an answer is not mine to give."
"Julianna!" Darylle's voice shouted from behind me, catching my attention immediately. Turning, I saw him run to me from the garden's gate. There was only enough time to send a silent thank you to the Keeper for taking me back before I was crushed in a hug and spun in circles. Dizzy and gasping, I laughed and returned the embrace as we turned. As suddenly as the hug had begun it was over, and I was left standing a few inches away from Dare with a huge grin on my face.
"You're bleeding! Doesn't that hurt?" Dare said in shock, the grin I might have received in return melting into a worried frown. The moment he asked I realized that it did. My whole left arm, neck, face, and parts of my legs were on fire.
"Yes!" I said and then giggled. As much as it hurt it was completely bearable. "I'll be fine! I don't want them healed, ok?" Dare's frown deepened, but he said nothing. Behind him Lorella appeared, winded and looking a strange mixture of relieved and furious. Without a word she marched up to me and slapped me hard. Staggering back a step, I stared at her with open-mouthed shock.
"Don't you ever leave me in the dust like that again! You had me worried sick, and all I could think to do was go find Prince Darylle and beg him to help me find you! Don't you realize that we're in this together? I could have helped! Look at you! The thorns wouldn't have hurt you if you'd had someone they knew with you!" She screamed in my face, then burst into tears and buried her face in her hands. Deeply ashamed and at a loss, I hugged her gently and whispered apologies in her ear.
"I'll never do it again. I promise. Never, ever again."
"What was so important that you ran without checking for Lorella? Why did the Keeper bring you back bleeding?" Darylle asked softly. Still holding my diminutive friend, I gave the whole story and pointed out the blackened spots on the flowers. Here they weren't dead yet, but it was only a matter of time.
"He was right. Someone has poisoned our protective barriers, but there is no telling where they did. To search the entire perimeter would take weeks." Darylle said after a time of studying the dying white rose that had sent me running so frantically hours before.
"I can understand why you did not wait now."
"That doesn't mean it was right of me to. I worried you both."
"Yes, but now that I have the story I see that there was no other choice. If you'd waited on me then the Keeper would have been lost, and the garden and barrier would have followed in a matter of days." Lorella spoke up as she pulled away. Her tears had stopped, but every other word was marred by a tiny hiccup.
"What has happened here?" Prince Jerryd's voice made us all tense. He came to me first and snatched my face up to inspect it. I let him only out of sheer will.
"You are hurt. Why? How is it my brother failed to intervene?"
"If you're quite done," I said coldly as I pulled my chin from his grasp. "Someone has attacked the barrier with some sort of contamination. It is killing the garden and the Keeper as well. I am hurt because I ran to him through thorns. Darylle did not know to be here."
"I see. What has been decided to be done?" He asked briskly, fury flashing in his eyes.
"We were in the process of deciding that. I think the first action should be to tell mother." Dare replied for me. I nodded my agreement.
"Agreed. Let's go then, shall we?" He said more gently and beckoned that we follow. All of us annoyed but seeing no other choice did as he indicated. This man, I decided, was the polar opposite of Dare. He was rude, violent, and quick tempered. Everything he did and said was with a chip on his shoulder as if he found the very presence of other beings insulting. Then I thought back to his visit to my home. He'd been quite different then. Perhaps the man was bipolar? Regardless, it didn't make his much more frequent rudeness forgivable. I prayed that he would not be sent with us should the Empress ask us to go in search of the poison.
Back at the castle everything was going to pieces. The Empress was angry, the Keeper had appeared sickened and with dreadful news, and both of the princes were missing.
"Find them and bring them to me, now!" She ordered. "Bring the human, too! It is high time I told her the real reason I allowed her to live."
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