Hi! It seems like i haven`t written for ages. But here it is! The 10th one
Natasha was thinking about everything that had happened recently. She was processing every move, every thought, and every word. Everything that she and her teammates had done. Every wrong and right decision that had been made. All recent activities and those that were made a lot time ago, which were almost forgotten. Or the ones she didn`t want to remember. Her memory was bringing everything up for analysis. She was some kind of computer, sorting each of her memories. It wasn`t solving anything. It was just bringing it all out of the dark corners of her mind, just to show her how messed up she was.
All that time in the plane, heading to Amsterdam, she was just staring in front of herself or out the window, making herself to go through hell, putting different colorful pictures of her past and present in front of her. They were so bright, painful, full dark colors…Sometimes she was glancing at her hands, looking through them, refusing to see the red on them. She had done a lot of introspection, which left her dim and hazy, and she couldn`t understand anymore what was good or what was bad; what had to be done or what would be better to leave undone. She was trapped in her own conscience, without even a hint of the way out.
After processing everything, dark thoughts were slipping into her head. She was lost and needed some sort of way out. She realized that after Red Room, she`d been too good, had too good of a reputation – she hadn`t chased, killed, harmed any good guys, hadn`t done anything bad, anything she could`ve been judged for. It felt like she was pure for too long. Hadn`t shown her true nature, hadn`t been evil. It felt like that bad girl had to come back. And this time, by her own will.
But in truth, she didn`t want to harm anyone. At least not physically. Slight self-destruction maybe. She wanted to get lost in time, sex, drugs, alcohol, smoke – anything she could find. She wanted to run away.
She didn`t know why had she chosen Amsterdam – it was a puzzle that she had no wish to delve into. It was the most unexpected decision that she had made in a few hours. But maybe, only maybe, it was possible that subconsciously she knew what she needed.
Her aim, as she discovered soon, was Red Lights Street.
It seems like a good way out, doesn`t it?
When the airplane landed, she took her bag, headed to the street and caught a taxi. All that she had in that small brown bag was a wallet with some cash, a pile of credit cards, a few knives, and a perfume that she bought in the shop before departing from the United States. What else could she have? Her house had been destroyed and everything she had was in there, except for this bag with her wallet, which had been in her room in SHIELD. But even if she had anything, she wouldn`t have returned to her apartment to collect any stuff.
The cab stopped in front of one of the luxurious hotels in the city, which didn`t belong to Stark or have any connection with his company. Yet, anyway. She stepped into the foyer and walked to the registry. The young man behind the counter was quite astonished by her appearance, just like everyone else: bright red dress with thin brown belt, impressive heels, red curls bouncing on her shoulders, and blinding friendly smile on her face. Who could blame them for being distracted?
In a few minutes, she was heading to her room on the 16th floor. It had a huge hall with sofas, coffee table, flowers, bar, and the most important – a huge window with a view on the whole city. In addition, the hotel room held a bedroom with a king sized bed and a bathroom. Not much, but there was so much space in it. It was so clean, so fresh, so new…Everything she needed.
It was about 11 o`clock, so she refused dinner and decided to have some rest, sleep, collect some energy.
When she woke up, she took a shower, had a cup of coffee and a bagel in a café near the hotel, and then headed to do some shopping. She had some time for herself, relaxing – she bought about 20 dresses of different types and colors, a dozen pairs of heels, some purses, a pair of jeans, a blouse, gorgeous underwear, tons of accessories and cosmetics, plus some daily usual things. She enjoyed her time alone as much as it was possible. Then she went to the spa, had a lot of procedures, and then had her hair trimmed. At the end of the day, she finally arrived to her hotel room dropped all her stuff, all those bags. She just put them on the floor – it seemed like packages were everywhere. She put on an exposing black dress, black purse and matching heels. She refreshed her make-up, checked her hair once again – and she was ready to go.
When she was passing the foyer, she could swear that all the males in the room were ready to fall at her feet. She smiled to herself and gave everyone a cocky smile.
She took a taxi and headed to the club, which had a grand opening that day. She decided not to steal a V.I.P card, instead opting to see what the area rich people could offer her. Gladly, she was properly dressed for this "occasion". It was really crowded, but fortunately, the people weren`t disgusting and repulsive – the opposite was true, actually: Natasha found them attractive, their style, their looks, their refined behavior. She had already spotted some people that she would like to be introduced to. She had her eye on some personalities and was eager to meet them.
"But not now," she thought, "It`s too early".
She took her spot in the bar and ordered martini. The night was only starting.
Thank you for reading/alerting/and everything.
But truth to be told - i`m addicted to reviews. Please review!