Puffed up Family Guy Fanfiction Series
Episode 1: Puffed up Family Guy
Chapter 10: Advice and Confessions
Disclaimer: I do not own Family Guy or Powerpuff Girls. PPG belongs to Craig McCracken, and Family Guy to Seth MacFarlane. They are both brilliant show creators and I hope both shows continue. They rock!
Rumors are that a Powerpuff Girls TV Movie is in the works based on an interview with Tara Strong
Plus, rumors have it that a PGG Flash movie is currently in the works.
TV-PG-DLV
Meanwhile, downstairs, both Blossom and Buttercup were in the living room, watching some TV. They were watching a show called 'Two and a Half Men'.
(Cue TV show)
"We now return to Two and a Half Men."
The TV screen cuts to two guys standing in the middle of a living room, screaming their heads off. Why, you may ask? Well, because their other friend was lying down on the floor, with only half of his body in tact...the torso. His legs and feet were completely gone, and he was eternally bleeding. He was also screaming.
The two guys didn't know what the do, so they just stood there, screaming.
"AHHHH!" The 'half' man screamed, yelling over his two friends. "KILL MEEEEEE!"
(End TV show)
Peter came into the room from upstairs and was getting ready to go out to meet up with the Professor. Blossom decided to go into the kitchen and get a snack, and Buttercup stayed there to watch the end of the show. Peter grabbed his jacket and prepared to head out, but then the TV and Buttercup's attitude towards it caught his attention.
"Only 2 episodes left until the season finale of Heroes." The TV announcer said. For some reason, the word "Hero" angered the girls a lot lately, and every time that word was muttered, it angered them more. "Catch the new episode of Heroes, next Tuesday at 10/9c on NBC. This is an episode of Heroes-" Before the announcer finished his sentence, Buttercup threw the remot at the TV...so hard that it cracked the screen practically in two and destroyed the picture. This obviously caught Peter by surprise, as he walked over to Buttercup and sat down on the couch.
"Wow, looks like someone's pissed." He said, trying to make Buttercup at least chuckle. But he wasn't able to get anything out of her. "Boy, you really are pissed, aren't you?"
"Yeah, what tipped you off?"
"Well, the fact that the word 'Hero' made you break my TV! No, I'm serious, that thing cost me like, 1,000 just to buy it! Do you know what I had to do to earn that money?"
(Cue Cutaway)
We cut to the old man that lives on SPooner STreet, Herbert, who is a pedophille who is after little boys. He walked up to Peter who was sitting at a desk, holding an old radio, probably from the 1960's.
"Excuse me, sir," He said kindly to him, holding up the radio. "The price tag on this radio says 64,000. You take 25?"
(end Cutaway)
"Man, do I miss that radio. Anyway," Peter realized he was getting a little bit off track with his cutaway, so he changed the subject back. "What's the matter with you? Why're you always pissed when someone says he...uh, the 'H' word?"
"Because, I'm sick of hearing that word! Everyday, it's 'Oh, Powerpuff Girls, we need you to be our heroes! Here, come change a lightbulb for me'! It's infuriating!"
"Well, why?"
"Because, every single day this past summer has put me and my sisters through hell! Do you know what those people of Townsville have us do? They have us changing light bulbs, walking dogs, cleaning out litter boxes, tying people's shoes, fetching remotes, and other boring and lazy stuff only fat bastards can't do!"
"Hey, hey, hey! Watch your tone, young lady! You know, that is offensive to us fat people who can do all that stuff!"
"Oh please! You probably weigh, like, 400 pounds or something!"
"No!" Peter sulked for a moment, but then decided to defend himself. "It's 300, thank you very much! I just hit that peak last month!"
"Whatever! Anyway, I'm sick and tired of those people taking advantage of us like they do!" Buttercup sulked on the couch and groaned angrily, trying hard to get the word 'Hero' out of her head. Peter patted Buttercup's shoulder in the hopes of calming her down.
"Boy, you really are pissed at something, aren't you? It's about your carrer, isn't it?"
"Well, I-wait a second! Being a superhero isn't a carrer for me and my sisters."
"It-it isn't?"
"No!"
"So you mean you and your idiot sisters don't get paid to do your job? You don't get some kind of reward for being the h...being...there for your city to stop the bad guys?"
"Nope. Well, the mayor did reward us with a piece of candy once...but,"
"But what?"
"But then we got totally addicted to it and even threatened the mayor's life over it."
"Whoa, are you serious!?"
"Yep. And after that, we decided to never enjoy the pleasure of candy ever again!"
"Well, girl, you are missing out on a lot of stuff! I mean, those Wonka Bars are delicious! Except for those blueberry ones."
(Cue Cutaway)
Peter had taken a trip through Willy Wonka's chocolate factory and had a swell time. But, before it ended, he took a bite out of the new Willy Wonka bars: the blueberry flavored ones. And, just like the chewing gums, it turned him into a gigantic blueberry. Now, Willy Wokna has questioning him on whether he had anything in the factory or not.
"I'll ask you one more time. Are you sure you didn't have anything in my factory?" He asked Peter fiercely.
"No!" Peter asked back, angrily, offended by the fact WIlly would ever think that.
"I'm just ask-"
"What? You calling me a liar??"
"No, I'm just-"
"Hey shut up, Wonka!"
(End Cutaway)
"So, you're just going to give up your lives like that? You don't want to go back to that town where you came from?"
"Well, yeah! I mean, none of us got any respect over there, their mayor is an absolute idiot-"
"Oh boy do I know that feeling! Mayor Adam West here is no better! Do you know that guy used money raised for the soldiers in Iraq for a frog statue!? Yeah, a frog statue just like the ones you'll find on those kindergarden learning computer games. And then to distract everyone from it, he bans gay marriages! What a jackass! Oh, I'm sorry. What were you saying?"
"I was saying that I wanna stay here with you and your family! Me and my sisters!"
"What!? But-but you can't! We only took you in until you were back to health, and then send you home with your father."
"Yeah, well think again, Pete! Those people don't treat us with respect, so we don't treat them with respect! Even if it means never seeing my dad again, then that's just fine with me!!"
"Now, wait just a damn minute! You can't talk about your dad like that!" Peter scolded Buttercup about not treating her dad with disrespect, but then stopped himself for a brief moment, before he could give it away that he knows the Professor. "I mean, I'd think he would be upset if he never saw you again. Don't you think?"
"Yeah, but, I just want to live in a town that respects us."
"Man, I know how that feels. I never really fit in when I was in school. I always got picked on...anyway, what I'm trying ot say is, you can't just give up all that you've worked for. You've lived in that town for years, and you can't just quit like that. You have a duty with your whacky power thing-a-ma-jigs, and you can't just throw it away like that!"
"You really think so?"
"Yeah! You shouldn't just give up everything you know and love just because you feel upset. You need to face it head on and conquer it! That's exactly how I conquered my fear of gyms! Or...was it skydiving... anyway, my point is...you should talk to your dad about this and maybe he can help you out on this."
"And you think this'll work?"
"I know it'll work. I know, because I went through a lot of hell with my dad, and my mom."
(Cue Cutaway)
We cut to a 7-year old Peter Griffin, who is standing in the middle of his kitchen, with a toothache.
"My tooh hurts!" He called to his mother, hoping she would come to the rescue and make his toothache go away. Instead, she threw a bottle of whiskey at him, but missed. It hit the wall and shattered.
(End Cutaway)
"You know, I don't say this a lot to my kids, or...at all, actually," Peter said, quickly returning the subject. "But, I'm really proud of you."
"You are? But, we only met a week ago."
"Yeah, but when I found you and your sisters, you were nothing more than strays! Just like when I found Brian in the streets!"
(Cue Flashback)
We cut to Brian Griffin, or, what he was originally named, before Peter found him. He was surviving on nothing but cheap booze, and was barely even a dog now. But a glimmer of light soon shined on him, as Peter Griffin drove up to him, stopping at the red light. Brian took this oppurtunity to make a quick buck and wash his car. He took his cloth and spray, and walked up to Peter's car.
"Uh, no thanks!" Peter quickly shouted to him, hoping not to pay anymore than he needed to. "I just had it cleaned-" But Brian was already on his way to making the car as clean as a whistle, and there was nothing Peter could do. "Ah crap."
Brian had taken no more than 20 seconds to wash the windshield before he had finished. "All set sir."
"Oh! Uh, sorry. I don't have any loose change with me."
"OH. Well, that's alright. No charge." Brian took his cleaning utensils and sulked away, having failed at getting three dollars. But Peter, seeing the pain he was suffering, decided to take him in as his own.
"Hey!" Peter yelled to him, getting his attention. "You like biscuits?"
(End Cutaway)
Peter got up from the couch, preparing to leave for his night out, but was stopped when Buttercup began to speak her mind.
"Um, Peter, listen," She started, nervous as to what to say. Never in her life did she hear someone talk to her like that, and tell her she was important like Peter just did. "It was really cool of you to say that I'm important like that and all, and I really appreciate it and all, but... oh what the hell!" She held her arms out to give Peter a hug, which Peter responded to quickly.
"Oh I love you too, Butter-scotch!"
"Buttercup!" She scolded angrily. He never really learned her name.
"Oh. Well, four out of five ain't bad." He released his grip on him, and headed out to meet the Professor at the Clam. Buttercup decided to head upstairs and get into bed since it was getting late. Meanwhile, Blossom was in the kitchen, and grabbing an apple from the kitchen's refrigerator.
She reached for a green one, and went to take a bite out of it, but Brian managed to stop her before that.
"Hey, watch it, kid! Peter filled the green apples with vodka!" Brian yelled to her, immediately making her spit out the piece of apple she had taken, and going to the sink to wash her mouth out with soap. Brian chuckled and took a seat with his newspaper. When Blossom was finished washing her mouth out, she also took a seat at the table to clear her mind. She was still getting over the argument the girls had earlier, and was unsure of what to do.
Brian immediately saw this and decided to take matters into his own hands with her.
"Hey, you seem upset. Something on your mind?"
"Nah. I'm just sitting here..." Blossom sighed heavily. "Waiting for my dad to come pick me and my sisters up and take us back to our town, where we'll be forced to go back to crime-fighting."
"You have something against your duties?"
"Well, not really. But," She sighed again, this time, she wanted to scream, but knew she couldn't. "But I'm not ready to go back to Townsville and go back to crime fighting. Before we ended up here, we were on a a tight schedule of all-night crime fighting, schoolwork, chores, and just trying to be normal girls. It's stressful, and I guess it got the better of us."
"So you landed in our front yard, weak and practically dead because of an overactive schedule involving your crime fighting duties?"
"Yep, pretty much." Blossom sulked and then sighed heavily again. "I don't really mind being a superhero and all, but, you know...I just wanna have a normal life as well. I wanna be able to grow up and hang out at the mall, meet cute guys, and eventually grow up to be a mother, but with my superhero life in the way, I'll never be able to do any of that stuff."
"Well, you just gotta ask yourself what your wanna do with your life. It's your life, and you're the one that controls it. So, what do you wanna do with your life?"
"Well, if you want me to be honest...I wanna have a normal life! I don't wanna be trapped in this world of crime fighting anymore! To be honest, I'm sick and tired of having to save their asses on a daily basis! It's just wrong that they can't defend themselves!" Blossom started breathing heavily once again, but this time, she felt a lot better than she has in a long time because she finally told someone how she felt.
"So, what do you think I should do, Brian?"
"Well, when your father gets here to pick you up, you should tell him that. You can't keep it bottled up inside you forever, because then you'll let it out at the wrong time and end up doing something bad. That's exactly how the Flinestones ended."
"But I don't wanna disappoint him. He raised us to do good for that city, and if I give it up now, then he'll probably disown us faster than superman flies to the mall!"
"Yeah, I know what you mean. But if you keep going like this, who knows what'll happen to you? When we found you, you were barely alive! If you go back, you might not make it to your 6th birthday!"
"I guess you're right. OK, we'll talk to him when he gets here."
"Good girl. And as for me, I'm off to the Clam." Brian got up from his chair and walked to the back door, ready to head out.
"Why?"
"Because Peter's there and I wanna make sure he has a ride home in case he gets drunk off of booze or high off of pot."
Meanwhile, over by said bar, Peter had just pulled up to the parklot lot, parked his car, and gotten out of it. He noticed that the Professor's car was also there, meaning he was somewhere in the Drunken Clam. Peter was nervous and wasn't sure what to say to him when he met up with him.
"Ok Peter, I'm not going to panic. I'm not going to panic." He kept saying to himself on his way inside. "I don't need to panic. This is easy. All I need to do is go up to him, take a deep breath, and say to him 'Hi Dave. Uh, listen, your kids fell into our yard, and I've nursed those whores this past week'." Peter sighed heavily, as what he just said sounded very stupid. "No, that's not going to work. I can't just go up to him and call his daughters whores! Or can I...no I cannot."
"Wow, I haven't been this confused and dismayed since they moved South Park to HDTV!"
(Cue Cutaway)
Peter walked into his house after a long day at the Brewery. He hung up his jacket, grabbed a bag of chips, and sat down on the couch. He turned on the TV, hoping to find something good on to watch. It was 6:00, the time of the day when South Park was on. It was his favorite show on TV other than Gumble 2 Gumble.
But when he turned on channel 5, he got a bit of a shocker.
"Good evening, I'm Tom Tucker," It was a breaking news story. "We interrupt this program for a breaking news story. Over by Buddy Cianci High, twelve sophomore students were caught with drugs in their lockers, three were caught win guns and other deadly military weapons, and seven were found killed in the locker rooms."
"Ha ha ha ha!" Peter laughed hysterically. "Those bastards got what was coming to them.
"Also, if you're tuning in to watch an exciting episode of South Park, you're out of luck!"
This made Peters top laughing and spit out the potato chips he had in his mouth.
"As of 10:19 this morning, South Park has been moved to High Def Television, so it is no longer avaliable on Cablevision or on Satellite."
"W-What the hell is this!?" Peter said outloud in distress. "For crying out loud, April Fool's day was last month!"
(End Cutaway)
Peter had reached the front door of the Drunken Clam. He opened it slowly, and took a quick look around. At first, he did not see the Professor sitting anywhere. But when he went inside himself, he saw the Professor over by the bar, drinking a dry martini. Peter took in a deep breath, and walked over to the Professor, so worried that he wouldn't be able to confess, that he almost actually wet himself. Luckily, he didn't, and it was just his imagination, and the sound of another drunk guy in the bar spilling beer all over the place.
End of Chapter 10!
Next time, Peter finally spills it to the Professor, and they all go into a frenzy panic. Plus, What do you get when you take a chicken & a fat guy? The answer, next time!