Hello everyone! Do you guys still remember what happened in this story? Lol. It's been over a year since I updated! Sorry about that everyone! I've been so busy. Anyway I hope you enjoy the chapter!

Complicated Emotions

Rebecca sat up in bed unable to sleep, everything that happened that night kept replaying in her mind. What was she thinking? Was she really going to have sex with Mokuba? Why didn't she stop herself? Stop him? She practically begged him to take her. She clenched the sheets on her bed as her heart beat rapidly in her chest; if his friend hadn't come in when he did what would have happened? Was she really going to lose her virginity with to him, upstairs at a party?

Rebecca stood up and began pacing around the room, what was wrong with her? Why was she acting this way? She was attracted to Mokuba, that much was clear, but why did she want to give herself to him? Sure she thought about it, a lot of girls her age did, still, she came so close to going all the way. She sat down in her desk chair and closed her eyes. "Did tonight mean something? Do I l-love him?" she asked herself quietly.

A few years ago her grandfather told her that she shouldn't have sex with someone unless she loved him and she was sure that someone loved her back. His logic seemed outdated now since just a few hours ago she was willing to give herself to someone she knew didn't love her back. She sighed. Why did this have to be so complicated? She spent the past few years thinking of Mokuba and wondering how he was doing, however she was never brave enough to call him or even write. She thought that they shared something special during the Grand Prix, and she always assumed he would remember the promise he made to her.

Rebecca clutched the hem of her pajamas, why did she continue to hold onto something so foolish? She couldn't understand why she hadn't given up hope. She could ask him about the promise again, but she was afraid of the answer. She rested her head on the desk and stared out the window. Then there was her relationship with Leon; how was this fair to him? She still hadn't called him back about next week, and even when they were together she didn't feel the same connection she felt when she's with Mokuba. Perhaps she should stop seeing him; it wasn't fair to lead him on. But he's been so kind to her… Still how could she could face him after what happened tonight with Mokuba?

Rebecca picked up her cell phone and dialed Sabrina's number. She knew it was late but she needed to talk to someone, talking to herself wasn't helping the situation. "Hello Sabrina?"

"…Hmmm…hello?" she asked sleepily.

"Sabrina? I'm sorry I woke you up."

"No that's ok… I was just sleeping. What do you need Becky? Not a ride I hope."

"No. I need to talk, I can't sleep."

"Great… I can… good night."

"Sabrina wait. You told me I could call you any time for any reason remember?"

"Yeah…" she groaned. "I meant between twelve noon to eleven thirty. What do you want?"

"Sabrina, tonight I… Mokuba and I… we were talking and we started to um…"

"What? Have sex?"

"Almost…" she admitted softly.

"Omigod I was kidding. Really?"

Rebecca stood up and began pacing again. "Yes. We were just talking and the next thing I knew he was on top of me, and I was…um…anyway I don't know what's going on with me. I've never done this before or even thought I would do something like this. Why do you think I'm acting like this?"

"Because you're a teenager and this sort of thing happens when your hormones are pulling you every which way," Sabrina yawned.

"I don't need a textbook answer, I read that chapter too. I just don't understand how we went from talking, to arguing, to sex."

"Because you love him," she answered simply. "Either that or you only want him for his body."

"Sabrina."

"What? I'm tired." Sabrina yawned again. "Aren't you spending the night tomorrow? We'll talk then."

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow. Good night Sabrina."

"Night Becky. I want all the details tomorrow." Sabrina laughed and then hung up the phone.

Rebecca plugged her phone into the charger and then sat on her bed. Whatever happened tonight between her and Mokuba meant something, but whatever it meant she wasn't going to figure out it tonight. She decided she would try to get some sleep tonight even if it were only three hours because she did have classes in the morning. "Why did I have to kiss him? This wouldn't have happened if he didn't look so…so…good…" she thought to herself. "What am I thinking? I don't have feelings for him, I…can't. I don't love him do I? If I don't then why was I willing to give myself to him?" She groaned and fell back on the bed. "This isn't solving anything."

Rebecca climbed under the covers and snuggled with the brown fuzzy teddy bear lying beside her. She reached over to the lamp on her nightstand and clicked it off before closing her eyes and drifting off into sleep.

--:0:--

Rebecca sat at the breakfast table with her family quietly. She didn't really explain to her mother or grandfather why she came home with one of Mokuba's friends or what happened at the party. She merely told them she had an interesting time and then went to her room. She was glad they didn't ask, because she really wasn't a good liar. "You're leaving grandpa?" she asked as she watched him stand up.

"Yes. I'll see you later tonight Rebecca," he said as he kissed the top of her head.

"I'm going to spend the night at the dorms with Sabrina."

"I see. I'll see you tomorrow then. Have fun and tell her I said hello," he smiled. "Good bye René."

"Bye Arthur," she called as he walked out the door.

Rebecca stood up. "I better go too." She picked up her plate and placed it in the sink.

"Rebecca honey? Could I talk to you about something?"

She glanced at the clock hanging on the wall. "Yeah I have a few minutes before my bus comes."

René stood up from the table and followed her daughter into her room. She watched the younger blond put her textbooks for class in her backpack before she said anything. "I don't know how to say or um… ask… but I guess I should just say it. Rebecca honey, are you… having sex?"

Rebecca zipped her book bag and turned around. "What? Where did you get an idea like that?"

The older blond walked closer to her daughter. "I overheard you talking on the phone last night. If you are, it's ok. I just want to make sure you are protecting yourself honey."

She shook her head. "I'm not having sex."

René touched her daughter's shoulder. "It's ok honey. I know I haven't been in your life for all these years so I can understand if you need the physical feeling of love, but I hope you are making the right decision."

Rebecca removed her mother's hand from her shoulder. "Mom. I'm not having sex, I'm a virgin. Aren't you listening to me?"

"I am honey." She moved the hair falling around her daughter's shoulders. "However, you can't hide things like this," she said softly referring to the mark left on her fair skin. "I've been there, I know what it's like not to be loved and the only way to feel loved is physically."

Rebecca touched her neck; she was hoping her mother wouldn't catch the mark Mokuba left on her neck. "Mokuba and I kissed… and made-out… but that's it. We didn't go that far, trust me mom."

She softened her eyes and just stared at her daughter for a moment. "Yes, ok Rebecca. I hope you're being careful though."

Rebecca rolled her eyes and headed out her room. This conversation was going nowhere. If her mother wanted believe she was having sex, which she only heard about because she was ease dropping, instead of listening to her own daughter, then that was her problem. She didn't have to deal with this now; she had too many other things on her mind. Perhaps school could get her mind off what was currently going on in her life. She left the house without another word to her mother.

--:0:--

Rebecca stood in the courtyard leading to the Kaiba mansion unable to walk up to the door. Perhaps she should have just stayed at the university today and came back on Monday so she could let what happened last night blow over. She turned around and headed back towards the gate. She couldn't face him, not today, not after last night. What would she say to him? What would he think of her?

She stopped and turned towards the mansion. Maybe she was talking herself out of what she really wanted. She wanted to be with Mokuba didn't she? She has debated that question with herself all day, however couldn't come up with an answer. What did she want? "I'll just go in, pick up my money and leave. We don't need to discuss what almost happened last night." Rebecca said to herself as she started to walk back to the mansion. She rang the doorbell hesitantly hoping Mokuba wouldn't open the door, maybe his brother's secretary Megumi was there like she was last week so they wouldn't be left alone.

The door opened and Lily greeted her happily. "Hello Miss. Hopkins. How are you this afternoon?"

"Fine, I guess… How are you?"

"Not so good. Master Kaiba scolded all of us for allowing Young Master Kaiba to have his party when we knew he wouldn't approve. I thought he was going to fire all of us." She took a breath of relief. "Fortunately he didn't, although he was very upset with Young Master Kaiba. Anyway, please come in."

Rebecca nodded. "Thank you." When she stepped into the mansion, she faintly heard someone playing Moonlight Sonata on a piano in one of the rooms.

Lily looked up towards the second floor. "Mokuba—I mean Young Master Kaiba is really upset today I'm afraid. I wonder if they will reconcile after that argument they had last night?" She gasped and covered her mouth. "Oh I'm sorry; I guess I shouldn't be discussing such things with you. Please forgive me," she bowed. "Young master Kaiba is waiting for you in the music room."

Rebecca slowly walked up the staircase, hearing the soft music more clearly with every step. Her heart beat rapidly inside her; she assumed he was alone, which meant they would have to discuss what happened last night. How could she begin to explain what she felt last night or how she felt about him now? She hadn't yet figured out why she acted the way she did. She stood in the doorway to the music room and watched as Mokuba continued to play the piano as if he didn't notice her presents. "Mokuba?" she uttered softly.

Mokuba quickly turned around and then motioned with his head to come in.

Rebecca walked into the room and sat on the stool next to the piano. "I thought you hated playing the piano," she teased.

"I do. My brother took away my guitar."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Seto will most likely give it back to me next week. He tends to forget I'm on punishment."

"I-I should have stayed. It wasn't fair for you to take all the blame."

"Nah… I didn't want you to get in trouble too." Mokuba threw his leg over the piano bench and stared at her. "Are we going to talk about what happened last night?"

"Last night?" Rebecca asked, unable to say anything else. She hoped it wouldn't have to come to this. She knew she wouldn't be able to explain her actions last night. She thought long and hard all day for an excuse, but couldn't come up with anything.

"Yeah, about what happened between us?"

She stared down at her hands resting in her lap. "Did you tell your friends?" She wasn't sure she wanted to hear the answer, but she needed to ask.

"No." Mokuba reached over and touched her hand. "They don't need to know everything that happens between us."

"About that…I…last night—"

"Knock, knock," Megumi smiled as she entered the room. "Good afternoon Rebecca, how are you this afternoon?"

"Just fine thank you," Rebecca said relieved she and Mokuba were not alone anymore.

"Did Mokuba pay you this week, because if he did then you are free to go. I don't mean to sound like I am rushing you, but Mr. Kaiba has requested it. However he wanted me to express his gratitude for continuing to help Mokuba with his geometry."

"Thank you, I'm happy to do it," Rebecca replied returning Megumi's smile with one of her own.

Mokuba handed her an envelope. "I forgot to give this to you earlier in the week."

"That's ok. I'll see you on Monday Mokuba." She hopped off the stool and swiftly left the room without another word. Luckily for her, Megumi came in at the right moment; otherwise Rebecca would've attempted to explain herself to him, and she knew that wouldn't have ended well. She was curious to know what Mokuba's explanation for what happened the previous night was. Did he have feelings for her? Was that why he willing to go all the way? Or was it in the heat of the moment. Whatever the case she wasn't brave enough to turn around and ask him. Maybe next week when they both have had the weekend to think about it, then they could discuss it. "It's just too embarrassing… I wanted to kiss him, and I wanted him to kiss me… I wanted to touch him… I wanted him…"

"becca!" Mokuba called behind her.

Rebecca turned around quickly now realizing she was outside in the courtyard underneath the autumn setting sun. How long had he been following her and calling her name? Was she that lost in her own thoughts? "Yes… what is it?" she asked softly.

Mokuba stared into her eyes for a moment before he said anything. "I wanted to tell you that… we don't have to talk about what happened last night."

"Mokuba… I don't know what to say…"

"Is it because of your boyfriend? Because it doesn't bother me if you want to see him too." He caressed her face with the back of his hand. "As long as we can still see each other it's ok."

She hit his hand away. "No, that's not what I want."

"What do you want then? Didn't last night mean anything to you?"

"No… it meant nothing." Rebecca turned around and quickly headed out the gate. She didn't look back because she knew she would see the hurt in his eyes.

--:0:--

"It meant nothing? You seriously said that?"

"Yes."

"It. Meant. Nothing. Those were your exact words?"

"Yes Sabrina, I just told you that."

"I don't understand why you said that. It's obvious what happened last night meant something."

"I know." Rebecca sat on Sabrina's bed hugging a fuzzy red pillow. She went directly to her friend's dorm room after she left Mokuba's house, because now she truly needed someone to talk to. "I didn't know what else to say."

Sabrina sat at the end of the bed with her legs crossed. "Why not tell him the truth? It's obvious you love him."

"I know that."

"What? You agree with me? You've never admitted to that before…" Sabrina watched her friend carefully; it seemed as if she was finally ready to talk about her feelings. Sabrina crawled over to her friend and sat next to her. "How long have you known?" she asked softly.

Rebecca leaned back against the pillows. "For a couple of days I think."

Sabrina placed her arm around her friend. "Why haven't you told him how you feel?"

"Because I know he doesn't feel the same." Rebecca held the pillow in her arms a little tighter. She knew Mokuba well, and she knew he wasn't afraid to express his true feelings, whatever they may be. She did want to tell him how she felt but she didn't know how to tell him. And she didn't know how he would react.

"You don't know that for sure. However let's say he doesn't; is that what you are afraid of?"

"Yes, rejection," Rebecca answered. "I don't know if I could handle it." She paused and tried to blink back the tears that reminded her of her painful past. "Sabrina, everyone I've been close to leaves me."

"I haven't left you. And what about you're other friends, Yugi and them?"

"You know what I mean Sabrina, my parents."

"So this is about your parents? I understand that Becky, and you have every reason to feel that way, but you can't let that stop you from trusting someone." Rebecca stayed silent. "I suppose you try to think too logically about your emotions. Instead of letting anyone near your heart, you stay detached so you don't get hurt."

Rebecca looked up at her friend and nodded. "You're right." After her father passed away and her mother suddenly left her, she remained emotionally detached from most of the people in her life. She didn't see the need to be close to someone when they were just going to be taken from you when you're the happiest or need them the most. "What should I do then?"

"Take it slow. I think you may also be afraid of commitment, so you should date Mokuba, since you can't tell him how you feel."

Rebecca looked at her friend. "Maybe you're right Sabrina, but maybe I have too many personal problems to enter a relationship right now."

Sabrina playfully hit her. "I didn't say anything about a relationship, I said date him. There's a difference between dating and a relationship." She gave her a sideways glance. "What you have with Leon is a relationship, so you have to break it off with him before deciding to date Mokuba."

"Yes, I suppose I should. I don't have any feelings for him, I like him as a friend but that's it." She rested her head against her friend's shoulder. "Why do you think I went out with him in the first place?

"I think it's because dating him makes sense to you logically. You think that since he's been nice to you, you should be with him, but you really want to be with Mokuba, your first love."

"That's not true, not exactly, and Mokuba isn't my first love."

"Really? Tell me something, what color are Mokuba's eyes?" Sabrina inquired.

"Light gray why?"

"Just curious," she smiled. "What about Leon's?"

Rebecca looked up at the ceiling trying to remember. "I'm not sure… I don't remember. I haven't seen him in a week."

"Huh-hun… exactly. That proves it."

Rebecca raised an eyebrow. "Proves what? That I'm not good at remembering colors?"

Sabrina stood up and walked across her bed towards the door. "You know Rebecca, for someone who is so intelligent; you really don't see when you have someone great right in front of you."

"And what's that supposed to mean?" She asked as she followed her friend into the living room.

Sabrina only smiled. "You'll find out soon enough. Anyway, you should tell Leon that you only want to be friends, and then you can date Mokuba."

Rebecca leaned against the back of the brightly colored couch. "How can I even try to date Mokuba after what I said to him today? It's not like he'll ask me out now."

"Trust me Rebecca; he hasn't given up on you yet. And if that doesn't work, you could ask him out yourself," she giggled. "Anyway…worry about all that on Monday. Let's make popcorn and watch chick flicks!"

"Ok," she smiled. "You get the popcorn, I'll pick the movie." Rebecca walked over to the book shelf and scanned through the DVD titles. She picked out a few movies, and then put the first one into the DVD player. She then went back into Sabrina's room and grabbed the cover off the bed. She was really happy that she had a chance to discuss her feelings with her friend, because she had to admit that she did feel better.

"Popcorn is done!" Sabrina announced plopping down on the couch next to her friend. She wrapped the blanket around herself and propped her legs up on the table. "These better not be your educational movies," she teased.

"I told you I only watch those when I'm doing research. Speaking of which, did you work on your paper?"

"Of course not," she said stuffing some popcorn in her mouth. "We'll work on it tomorrow and Sunday."

Rebecca grabbed a handful of popcorn. "This is going to be a long weekend," she sighed.

Sabrina playfully shoved her. "Shut up."

Rebecca leaned against her friend as the movie began to start. "Thank you for talking to me Sabrina, I really do feel better. I think I'm going take your advice."

"You better," she grinned.

The two girls spent the rest of the night watching movies, eating bowls of popcorn, and talking girl talk. Everything Rebecca was worried about earlier had gone out the window by this point. Perhaps if she followed Sabrina's advice and not think through things so logically, she would end up happier. She cared about Mokuba, so maybe being with him would be nice. She already enjoyed tutoring him, reminiscing about the Grand Prix, and just being near him. She always felt safe and content with him, almost like she could share anything with him. And if that were true then she could share with him how she truly felt.

So there it is: chapter 10. I'm sorry it took so long, but I've been so busy. I know not much happened in this chapter but I needed it here as a transitional thing. The next couple of chapters will be more exciting. Leon may come back for a visit, Mokuba may start acting more romantic around Rebecca, and the tension between the Kaiba's brothers may be better explained. Perhaps…or I could just be leading you on… lol

One reviewer left a long and well thought out review, which I respect so I'm going to answer one question that maybe the rest of you might have as well. The person asked about the promise that was mentioned in the beginning of the story. Don't worry, I haven't forgotten it. It will be made clear by the end of the story.

Anyway I'll try to update a lot quicker next time… I can't believe it's been over a year!! Thanks for reading! And don't forget to review!