Teachers treat us all like clones,
Sit up straight, take off your headphones,
I don't blame them, they get paid,
Money, money, whoo, lots of money, money, whoo!

To skip or not to skip? That is the question!

/

"It's Super Written Exam time," Shinigami muttered, the pointy spike that replaced his legs swaying in the air as he laid on his stomach on the floor of the Death Room. His huge gloved hand rested on his mask, his eyeholes lowered in boredom.

"No one calls me since there's no missions scheduled. Everyone is too busy studying." The spike wiggled. "And Kiddo-kun, who doesn't need to study anyway since I taught him everything I know, doesn't talk to me…his own father…" He sniffed sadly.

He folded his arms and rested his head on them, lying on the floor in silence. The spike swayed back and forth lazily. After a long pause, Shinigami muttered, "I'm bored."

Suddenly, his eyeholes snapped open and he shot up. "And now I'm talking to myself!" he realized with a jolt of despair. Indeed, he was; there was no other living being inside the Death Room besides the reaper. He fell onto his back, a depressed look crossing his mask. He let out a high-pitched sigh.

"Maybe I'll go see what Spirit-kun is doing later."

/

Shinigami had always found it interesting how diverse Shibusen was. There were great Meisters like Black*Star, great students like Ox, and total losers like Hiro. Each one of his students was unique; they each had a different view of how to see the world, unlike adults. Children were always more interesting than adults to the reaper. Adults all acted the same, but children…they were free to act as they wished.

There was Maka, who was studying until her brain fried (just like her mother, the sweet girl) and Soul, who was writing down the answers on his clothes (Shinigami was so proud of him; his little future Death Scythe preferred to play smart). Black*Star was doing push-ups while staring at his book (like he would pass anyway) while Tsubaki (she was smart, but not as smart as Maka or Kid) was quizzing him. And his little boy, Kid, was drawing a picture of Liz (he didn't catch the whole conversation, but the reaper caught the words 'eyebrows' and 'evenly') while his daughters were reading magazines (Liz) or sleeping (Patty). Not that it mattered to him; Kid would get first place because he knew everything on the test. As for Liz and Patty…well, Shinigami just took it as a good thing that they had their books on the desk in an attempt to study.

He was walking down the street, disguised in his human form, deciding to look for Spirit on his own without using Soul Perception. It was more fun that way, like a game of Hide-and-Seek. He walked down an alleyway past Maka and Soul's apartment building when a flicker of light passed his vision. He looked up, curious, and screwed up his face in disbelief.

There was his scythe, his Death Scythe, one of whom had high authority and reputation not only in Death City, but everywhere in the world, and the strongest Weapon on the planet…doing what seemed like a ritual dance around a makeshift fire with candles that he probably stole from Shibusen tied around his head.

Instantly, Spirit froze, his back turned to the god. He turned around with a sour look on his face. "What?" he asked blankly.

Shinigami stared at him for a moment. "What are you doing?"

Spirit blinked. "I'm performing a ritual so Maka will get the top score on the exam. Need something?"

Shinigami continued to gaze at his Weapon before shaking his head. "No, no, don't mind me," he replied, still shell-shocked. Spirit nodded and continued his dance around the fire, murmuring, "Maka, Maka, Maka, Maka, my Maka will get first place, she will, she will, Maka, Maka, Maka, Maka!"

The reaper sat down, his legs crossed, staring up at Spirit as he watched him dance. He sat in silence, just enjoying the entertainment. He noticed something on fire next to Spirit's makeshift flames.

"…You lit the bucket that Maka-chan threw at you on fire?"

Spirit ignored him.

Suddenly, a piercing cry cut through the air. The two jolted.

"What was that?" Spirit demanded, blinking.

"It sounded like the scream of a little girl," Shinigami replied, opening his Soul Perception. It looked like there was someone in Stein's lab…oh.

"What's that smirk for?"

"Oh, nothing~"

Eventually, Spirit grew tired. He rested alongside the apartment complex as Shinigami rested on the other, the two staring at each other across the alley.

"So, do you plan on coming home anytime soon?" Shinigami asked.

Spirit shook his head. "No, I'm going to do this all night."

Shinigami stared at him blankly. "What a devoted father."

"What about you?" Spirit shot back, unimpressed. "You want Kid to do well, right?"

"Yeah yeah, but unlike you, I don't have to worry about Kid-kun. You see, I taught him everything in that book when he was young. Since he's a shinigami, he has to know all that stuff. Maka-chan doesn't stand a chance," he teased, a sly smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Spirit huffed, looking away.

Shinigami frowned. He dug around in his cloak and extracted a white box, which he pushed in front of Spirit. The scythe looked at him questioningly.

"It's dinner," Shinigami explained exasperatedly, raising an eyebrow. "You haven't eaten yet, right? Even Death Scythes need to eat~"

Spirit took the box hesitantly and took out the chopsticks, slowly beginning to eat. Shinigami watched his every move with a bored but curious expression, which slightly unnerved the scythe. He decided to get Shinigami talking to make the moment less awkward.

"Aren't you going to eat?"

"For shinigami, eating is a luxury, not a necessity."

Spirit stared at him.

"That means I don't need to eat, I just like to," Shinigami explained, his mouth twitching into a grin. His death scythe was an idiot.

Spirit blinked. "Oh. So…why did you come looking for me? You would have known where I was with Soul Perception, right?"

Shinigami looked away apathetically. "I was bored."

The Weapon smirked. "And lonely."

The reaper pouted, blushing. "I wasn't lonely."

"Yes, you were."

"No, I wasn't!"

"Yes you were."

"N-"

"Shi~niga~mi's lone~ly~"

"No I'm not! Shut up!"

"Shi~niga~mi's lone~ly~"

"Your singing sucks!"

"Shi~niga~mi's lone~-"

BAM!

"Oh, shut up before I give you a Shinigami Chop!"

The two stared at each other, Spirit with a smirk (which was a little less convincing considering the blood flowing down his face) and Shinigami with a scowl (and a smoking hand).

"Lone~ly."

"Bastard."

/

"You'll have sixty minutes. Keep your eyes on your own paper."

Tensions were high and thick. Maka nodded to herself, convinced of her victory. Soul smirked, laying on his answers. Tsubaki was attempting to keep herself focused on something other than her Meister, who was battered and bloodied and hung on the chalkboard. Kid stared at his test blankly, while Liz twisted a stand of her hair in anxiety and Patty hummed a random song, daydreaming.

And then there were Spirit and Shinigami, who were staring at the mirror with wide smirks on their faces.

There's no way my Maka's going to lose. She'll get first place, just like her mother, Spirit thought, stealing a smug glance at his Meister.

Kiddo's a shoo-in for first place. This stuff they're learning is basic shinigami knowledge! Plus, he's a total perfectionist, just like his old man~ There's no way he could get anything less than a perfect paper, Shinigami thought, his smirk widening.

"Start writing!"

"It's begun~!" Shinigami said excitedly.

The race against time started. Students filled in answers with sweat on their brow. Maka looked fairly composed, while Soul was smirking so hard his mouth might stretch permanently. Shinigami grinned; while Kid was likely going to get first place, Soul would get a high score too. Unlike a certain other someone….Shinigami still grimaced when he remembered Spirit's exam scores. What the hell what he was doing when he was supposed to be studying anyway? No, forget that, he didn't want to know.

Soul sneezed.

"Are you sure this is everything you have?" Sid asked.

"What? You want me to take off my underwear, too?"

Spirit smirked. Shinigami's eye twitched.

"Hah! That's what you get for cheating you little-"

BAM!

"I don't think you should be talking, Spirit-kun."

"Ten minutes left!"

Shinigami and Spirit pushed on each other to get a closer look at the Crescent Moon classroom. They all look all right, except that Patty made her test into a giraffe and Kid was crying. Wait, Kid was crying? Shinigami shoved his scythe out of the way and listened intently, his ear pressed against the glass.

"I'm useless garbage," Kid was whimpering. "I'm a horrible, disgusting person who doesn't deserve to live another day." Even though he knew Kid was being overdramatic, it still broke the older reaper's heart. He had an overwhelming urge to burst in and give Kid a huge hug. But it would be uncool, and Kid would hate him for it. The pains of being a parent…

In his parental fantasy, he didn't notice someone entering the Death Room, nor did he hear the monotone voice of a sadistic doctor; "What are you two doing? Your faces are pressed against the glass. Oh, you're watching the exam, huh…"

And he didn't hear Spirit telling him to shush and let Maka concentrate.

Suddenly, the reaper heard the sound of a paper ripping. He shut his eyes. Please let it not be Kid's, please let it not be Kid's…

"GAHHHHHH!"

It was Kid's.

Not only did he scream (like a girl), but he also spat out a quart of blood and then fainted symmetrically.

Shinigami twitched. The next moment, he was huddled on the edge of the Death Room platform, his spike sagging dejectedly as he drew circles on the pristine metal. "Where did I go wrong?" he mumbled. "Was I not a good father? Is it my fault he turned out like that?"

Stein blinked. "What's wrong with him?"

"Aw, he's just upset 'cause Kid fainted and now there's no competition for my Maka!" Spirit sang, grinning as he stared at the mirror, watching Black*Star as he wrote his signature in blood.

"What good is your stupid autograph?" Soul yelled as he snapped his pencil in half, earning a rocket to the head by Sid.

"You choose; be quiet or die!"

Five seconds left. Soul was frantically trying to answer a question, Maka was feeling confident about her test, Tsubaki was looking hers over, Liz was reaching for Ox's stray hair, Patty was just about to break her test's neck, Kid was still passed out…and Shinigami was still sulking in the corner while Stein and Spirit watched his mirror.

A buzz rang through the room. "Test is over!"

"Victory!" Liz declared, holding Ox's stray hair.

"Victory!" Patty declared as well, holding her broken giraffe's neck.

Soul went numb.

/

"HAH!" Spirit yelled as he pointed at his daughter's name on the scoring list. "I knew my Maka would get first place! I knew it!"

"There's no need to rub it in," Shinigami mumbled, staring sadly at his son's name on the "Unmentionable" list alongside Black*Star's.

Spirit straightened, his hand in his pocket, and turned to his Meister. "I'm going to Chupa Cabra's to celebrate. Don't wait up for me."

"Whatever," the reaper grumbled, shoving his hands in his pants pocket and slouching. Spirit smirked at the pathetic sight and left. Growling in irritation, Shinigami glared at the names on the list.

Well…at least Liz's slightly-more-than-abysmal test score made a smile tug at his mouth. Considering she had no formal education before coming to Shibusen, Shinigami was proud of her. She still failed, but then again, so did his perfect, well-taught son. Patty, with her attention span, crafted a fairly well-made giraffe, too. She amazed the staff so much she got two points for creativity.

As angry as he was with Kid, he knew he couldn't blame him. At Kid's age, Shinigami would probably have done the same thing. Kid having OCD was Shinigami's own fault, and who was he to blame the boy? He was truly only angry at that fact that Spirit had something to brag about for the next month.

Shinigami smiled. Maybe he'd take his failing children out for ice cream…

/

I…really don't have anything to say about this chapter, except for at the Super Written Exam test episode, everyone at Shibusen was featured except for poor Shinigami-sama (except at the end for a little bit in the manga). Like, what the hell was he doing in his Death Room? He must have been so bored…thus, this oneshot was born! Hehe, and I've always wanted to see his reaction when he sees Kid fail XD

Song is "Billy S." by Skye Sweetnam.