Chapter 10

The rain poured down on them relentlessly. Against the dark backdrop of the night they looked like nothing more than lost, forgotten shapes cut out of the darkness, lit up only by the faint golden glow of a streetlamp. They were strangers staring at each other, perhaps seeing each other for the first time with brand new eyes, yet facing the question about who it really was they were looking at. A twisted madwoman behind a silver mask whose black eyes could destroy a person's soul with just a simple glare and a lost young woman who had fled from her home out into the rain looking for something she didn't even really understood.

"You knew who I was all along, didn't you?" Hermione asked, her voice trembling. The rain had drenched her clothes and now started to numb her bones. She was shivering. She swallowed hard, the name she was about to speak out loud now lying on her lips. "Bellatrix."

"What's it to you?" Bellatrix bit back with distinct venom in her voice.

Hermione's eyes narrowed. "You, the greatest and most loyal Death Eater of all," she said and she was unable to hide the disdain in her words after the way Bellatrix spoke to her. "Lusting after a Mudblood."

There was a silence. They sized each other up as if to test and challenge how far the other was willing to go. Hermione's grip on her wand tightened when she noticed Bellatrix's fingers twitched. She didn't know how much or what kind of magic the dark haired woman still possessed or even if she still had a wand, but she had to assume that Bellatrix was still as dangerous as before.

"Why did you come here?" Bellatrix unexpectedly asked.

"I came looking for you."

"I figured that out one myself, thank you. Why?"

"I don't know."

Hermione really didn't know. She didn't know what had made her leave the safety of her flat to come out here, in some part of London she rarely frequented. She remembered Narcissa leaving after telling her that the woman behind the mask was really Bellatrix and her eyes fell shut as she saw herself again sitting on her knees beside the toilet, puking her guts up. She took a ragged breath. In her chest her heart felt like it was about to explode.

"How did you know?"

Bellatrix's voice was so much closer now and when Hermione opened her eyes she found the raven haired woman standing right in front of her. Intense black eyes pierced into hazel brown from behind the mask. In a flash Hermione realised just how much the mask made Bellatrix look like a Death Eater. There was something haunting about it; even more so now that she knew that it could not be removed. She wondered about the face that lay hidden behind it and if it even still existed.

Hermione swallowed the unexpected lump in her throat away. "Your sister… Narcissa." She watched the fire ignite in Bellatrix's eyes and knew she had touched on something. "She told me."

"My sister is a coward and a whore," Bellatrix hissed and Hermione had to hold back her answer that the circumstances under which she and Bellatrix had met made whores out of both of them.

Unexpectedly Hermione reached out her hand and touched Bellatrix's arm. The touch surprised both of them and Bellatrix staggered backwards, away from her. There was a flash of fear behind her eyes before she looked back up at Hermione. Now that she was standing in the shadow of the tall oak tree, her mask was almost invisible. For a short moment Hermione was allowed to remember what Bellatrix had looked like all those years ago. Evil had never been so beautiful.

"Why me?" Hermione wanted to know. "Why seek out me?" Without hesitation she pulled back her sleeve and showed Bellatrix the scars on her forearm. The anger suddenly roared in the pit of her stomach and blazing eyes snapped up. "This is what you think of me, isn't it? Is that how you think of me still? Am I just a toy to you? Something you can pick up and throw away whenever you feel like it?"

"You were never worthy of anything," Bellatrix hissed.

"Really?" Hermione countered. "Because that's not the impression I got the night we…"

"We?" Bellatrix interrupted her, suppressing a throaty chuckle. "Oh, there is no 'we' in this, love. There is only 'I' and I am doing what needs to be done."

"What?!" Angry tears burnt behind Hermione's eyes. "You used me?"

Bellatrix now openly laughed and pushed herself away from the tree. She took two steps and held still right in front of Hermione. A pale hand slipped under the brunette's chin, forcing her to look at her. Hermione saw the lust glisten in Bellatrix's eyes before it subsided and only emptiness remained. The grip of the older woman on her chin was strong and painful yet she did not protest. The fire inside her body stirred again and she felt the desire she had felt every other time she laid eyes on Bellatrix.

"What, did you actually think someone like me would feel anything for someone like you?" Bellatrix spat. Her tongue darted out of her mouth and wet her ruby red lips. "I am not my sister, you filthy little Mudblood."

She let go of Hermione's chin and pushed her away with such force that Hermione almost stumbled into the mud. The brunette's angry eyes fixed on the masked woman's face as she managed to stay on her feet and she unexpectedly closed the distance between them. Strong hands grabbed a firm hold of Bellatrix and forced her backwards against the tree, her back slamming into the bark. Her fingers closed around Bellatrix's wrists so tightly that she knew she would leave bruises. Neither of them cared.

"You said you couldn't allow yourself to feel anything," she whispered into Bellatrix's ear, her breath hot against the former Death Eater's neck. "But you allowed me to feel you." Warm lips kissed wet skin and she could feel the unexpected adrenaline rush through Bellatrix's veins as the pulse point beneath the tip of her tongue began to race.

Hermione crashed her mouth against Bellatrix's. She felt her lover's breath hitch and slowly eased her grip on her wrists once she felt reassured Bellatrix wasn't going to push her away. She moaned softly into her lover's throat when she felt Bellatrix's fingers thread through her wet hair, pulling her deeper into the already searing kiss. Her own hands carefully yet insistently travelled up along Bellatrix's arms to her shoulders before sliding down again until they reached the buttons on her trousers. Without warning Hermione undid them and opened her eyes just in time to see Bellatrix do the same.

"Now we'll see if you really don't want to feel this," she whispered as began peeling the tight, wet fabric down Bellatrix's thighs to give herself enough room to work with. There was a teasing glint in her eye and when Bellatrix's fingers closed around her wrist just before her hand slid down across her stomach she merely arched an eyebrow before leaning in and kissing her just below the mask and trailing her lips down across her jawline to the corner of her mouth.

"You can't deny me," Hermione said softly when Bellatrix involuntarily arched her back into the touch. "All of this… you try to fight it but you know this is what you want. You want me." She grinned almost deviously. "The dirty little Mudblood, wanted by a Death Eater."

And with those words she dipped her hand behind Bellatrix's trousers and hooked two fingers behind her laced underwear. What she encountered was a warm wetness that was ready for her touch. Bellatrix didn't even try to stop her and her head fell back against the tree as Hermione slipped two fingers deep inside of her. She allowed the older woman a moment to get used to the feeling before picking up a fast and almost frantic rhythm.

Hermione didn't think. She didn't think about any of it. She just felt and she acted on those feelings. She acted on the way her heart had somehow drawn her here tonight, for reasons she didn't understand. There was a time to ask questions and seek answers but this was not that time. Right now, in this moment, there was only her and Bellatrix. Two people who were so different but were somehow brought together. And when her lust filled eyes watched as the ragged breaths rolled from the masked woman's lips, Hermione didn't even give a fuck about who she was.

Bellatrix's mouth fell open in a silent plea and the dark eyes behind the mask suddenly rolled back into her head. There was no sound. There was only the unexpected shuddering of her body as the first waves of her orgasm hit her, cutting through her like a knife that left her heart to bleed. Arms slipped around Hermione's neck without warning, pulling her closer until she rested against Bellatrix's body. She felt her heart jump in her chest, felt the other woman's desperate attempts for air against her neck. Soft lips pressed against her forehead.

A few quiet moments passed in which there was nothing but the sound and the feeling of the rain against their skin. They didn't move. Two bodies pressed together, foreheads resting against each other, and hands on each other's hips. To an unsuspecting stranger who couldn't see their faces they may have looked like lovers enjoying a moment of romance in the rain.

But then it ended.

Hermione felt Bellatrix move but by the time she had lifted up her head, she was already alone. All she felt was the bitter cold wind whip around her face, cutting through her. She hadn't even recognised the feeling of Bellatrix Dissaparating but suddenly her hands were empty and her heart was too.

Tears slid down her cheek when she turned on the spot and reappeared a couple of streets away from her flat. She ran the last few metres home, slammed the door behind her and walked into the living room whilst shrugging herself out of her wet clothes. She didn't switch the lights on but turned to the window to draw the curtains when a bright flash of lightning cut across the ink black sky. In that moment she caught a glimpse of the silver masked woman standing across the street looking up at her and Hermione's heart skipped a beat. When the next flash came, she was gone.

With a heavy heart Hermione drew the curtains and, wearing only her underwear, she walked to the bathroom. As her fingers grazed the doorframe she felt a shudder creep down her spine and she remembered Narcissa standing in the same spot, watching her. She swallowed, shook her head in an attempt to erase the image and stepped into the shower.

The warm water rained down on her, slowly erasing the cold numb feeling from her bones. She tilted her head back and closed her eyes as the water streamed across her face. In her mind she saw Bellatrix again, emerging from the shadow of the tree. Hearing the woman speak words of rejection made her heart and soul ache but at the same time it stirred something inside of her she had never experienced before; a kind of jealousy that was unlike anything she had felt before. She wasn't jealous of another person but she still felt it. A resentment.

She scrubbed her skin until it was red and raw before eventually stepping out of the shower, wrapping a towel around her and walking back into the living room. She stood by the window for ages hoping, praying, she would see Bellatrix again. The longer she stood in front of the glass staring out into the darkness she began to understand what had driven her out into the rain tonight. She knew why she had gone looking for Bellatrix. She wanted to find her; she needed to find her. It was the same reason why she had gone back to Imagine every time, lured in by the toxic passion and twisted desire.

By the time she finally went to bed, the first rays of sunshine were already climbing over the horizon and she never really got any sleep. She lay in the cold, empty bed with the sheets kicked towards the side, piled up in a mess. Her eyes were fixed on the ceiling, her hands folded beneath her head. In her chest her heart beat slowly, every second a reminder that it was beating for only one reason. The reason she had walked out into the night, into the rain.

~()~

The coffee bar in Kensington was crammed full with young professionals on their lunch break. Guys in suits and women in pencil skirts with smart phones, designer handbags and tripple shot lattes and espressos in front of them talking about the byssiness of the day or the dates they had over the weekend.

Hermione watched them from the corner of her eye, her hands clutching her mug of coffee. The sound of phones bleeping and people talking was strangely soothing. Sometimes she really liked to submerge herself inside the Muggleword. It kept her grounded, reminded her where she came from. Whenever she wanted to get away from magic, this was the kind of place she went. Everybody here was so normal.

"I was a little surprised to receive your owl," Andromeda said, her eyes fixed on Hermione. She'd noticed the absent look in the brunette's eyes ever since they sat down. "You said you wanted to talk."

"I do," Hermione said as she tore her eyes away from the Muggles surrounding them and looked back at Andromeda. The resemblance was striking but only for a second. That was all it took for the light to rob Andromeda of any similarities she shared with Bellatrix.

Andromeda watched Hermione as her fingers played with her coffee mug. She and Hermione weren't exactly friends. They talked, mostly at family gatherings at the Burrow. A few days earlier Hermione had unexpectedly invited her for coffee and she had accepted, sensing there was something she wanted to talk about that she didn't feel comfortable sharing with any of the Weasleys. It turned out that Hermione had some doubts about her relationship with Ron and Andromeda had been her only safe haven to talk about it.

"Is it about Ron?" Andromeda asked.

Hermione sighed. "Everything is always about Ron." She chewed the inside of her cheek before meeting Andromeda's eyes. "I asked him to leave."

Andromeda's eyebrows shot up. "Really?"

"Yeah," Hermione answered with a shy smile. "I can't actually believe I did but I just didn't know what else to do anymore. I just… I just can't keep doing this all the time."

"But why, Hermione?" Andromeda pressed. "I thought you loved him."

"I thought so too but recently I am not so certain anymore. I don't think he is either. I don't doubt he loves me but I think he also knows I am not sure about any of this the way I once was," Hermione said and sipped from her coffee. "We both work long hours. We didn't see each other half as much as a couple should see each other and even when we did, we lived different lives." She looked down at the table. "I think it's for the best."

Andromeda leant back in her comfortable leather seat. They were sitting in the back of the shop where a leather sofa and two arm chairs had been placed around a wooden table. Her eyes danced across Hermione's face. She'd noticed the dark rings around her eyes as soon as she walked into the bar. Hermione looked pale and tired, like she hadn't slept for some time. The last time she had seen anyone look this gaunt was during the war.

"Have you spoken to Harry about this?"

Hermione shook her head. "He and Ginny are too busy planning their wedding. Besides, I don't want to rain on their parade."

"You will be going to the wedding, won't you?"

"Harry would Avada Kedavra the living daylights out of me if I didn't," Hermione smiled. The smile never quite reached her eyes.

Andromeda put her cup down and leant in. "Listen, Hermione, feel free to tell me to back off but I can't help but notice that you look tired. Are you sure there's nothing else going on?"

"That's the other thing I wanted to talk to you about." Hermione looked down at her hands. "Kingsley made me work alongside your sister and she's been pressing my buttons."

"Narcissa? Kingsley has you working with Narcissa?" Andromeda asked and Hermione nodded. "Whatever for? Surely he knows the history between you two?!"

"I can't tell you exactly what it is we're doing but I can tell you that she may have changed her name, she definitely hasn't changed her attitude."

"Still the Ice Queen then, huh?"

Hermione knew Andromeda and Narcissa hadn't spoken to each other for years. Even after the War ended and Lucius was sent to prison, it seemed the damage done to their relationship was irreparable. Neither sister ever mentioned the other's name.

"Very much so," Hermione affirmed and bit back the emotions that riled up inside her. "Nothing's changed with her."

"I would have been more surprised if they had." Andromeda brushed a strand of brown hair out of her eyes. "Is she pressuring you?"

"No more than I pressure myself." Hermione smiled and masked her sudden insecurities with a false mask of confidence. "I can handle your sister, Andy."

Andromeda decided it was best not to press the issue. She and Narcissa had drifted apart a lonhg time ago and she didn't think they would ever come to a point where they would be able to move on from the past. With a last thought of regret she stored the image of Narcissa into the back of her mind and looked back at Hermione. The look in her eyes was distant.

"So, since we're in the middle of London…," she began, "there are a couple of things I need to pick up for Teddy. Would you like to accompany me to Diagon Alley?"

"Yes," Hermione smiled and sat up. Going to Diagon Alley was normal. She was in the mood for normal. She needed normal, something as far away from all the craziness as she could possibly think of. She finished off her coffee and put the mug down before picking up her handbag and standing up.

"Shall we?"