Chapter 11
I never told Edward about Aro's visit, or about the Volturi. I just knew it would freak him out, or even worse make him do something stupid.
He had never ever mentioned about becoming like me, and to make him become a vampire for my own selfish reasons wasn't something I could even contemplate.
Yes, there were certain advantages of being immortal, but the advantages that came with being human outweighed them tenfold.
A warm touch, the simple pleasures of eating and drinking, to be able to sleep, and more importantly not to crave blood...human blood. To buy my food from a supermarket instead of bringing down a living creature, was something I could only dream about.
There was also one more human event I would have loved more than anything else...a baby.
To have Edward's baby, to hold in my arms a part of him that had been made from love, was a joy I would never experience.
Of course, the alternative to this was death and killing Edward never even entered the equation.
The weeks went by and I became more worried and irritable with each passing day.
I followed Edward around like a mother hen, checking windows, locking doors, asking where he would be every minute.
I was so concerned about losing him that I lost sight of the bigger picture, until one day Edward
made me realise how this was affecting him.
After checking his itinerary for the second time that day, Edward said "Will you stop worrying Bella, you are driving me mad!" He said it with a smile to soften the words but I could tell he was getting irritated.
Unfortunately, my mind was so set on protecting him, I didn't realise my actions were insensitive and so I remonstrated with him again.
"Edward you may write about them but you don't have any concept of their capabilities!"
" I can only protect you to a certain degree, you have to try to understand this."
" I can take care of myself Bella!"he insisted.
"Can you? Because sometimes I think you forget you are human!" I shouted, unable to keep my temper in check when I was so worried about him.
He went totally still and said quietly, "Bella, I never ever forget I am human, compared to you."
His voice had a steely ring to it as he added, "I know you are the indestructible vampire, and I am weak in comparison, but all this fussing around me is driving me crazy!"
"Why don't you just cut my balls off and be done with it?" he said, starting to raise his voice.
"Now you're just being stupid!" I shouted back.
"Now I'm stupid? he yelled, "Well I may be stupid and I may be only human, but I am essentially a man and a proud man at that, so why don't you fucking treat me like one!"
He stormed past me, heading for the door, but in a blur, I was in front of him barring his way. "Don't you dare walk out on me!"
"Ooh look, who can move really fast; showing off now are we Bella?" he said sarcastically.
"Now you're being childish," I retorted.
"Childish? I thought that's how you wanted me?" All afraid of scary things so Bella can save me?"
His face was so close to mine that his breath fanned my face.
"You ungrateful bastard! Well you're on your own now, buster! Screw you!" I yelled in his face.
"NO, Screw you!" he yelled back.
For an infinitesimal second we locked eyes, face to face, both panting with rage.
He suddenly grabbed my head by the hair and roughly started kissing me, all the pent up emotion pouring out.
I pulled at his hair, wanting to hurt him too and I pushed him over the arm of a chair and we rolled onto the floor.
I was growling by now, my eyes an icy blue, pupils dilated in fury, as I tore his shirt to shreds.
He started ripping my clothes apart, groaning over and over.. ..."I fucking hate you Bella,...I fucking hate you so much...
He flipped me over onto my back and thrust into me with one hard stroke after another.
He pinioned me to the floor and held both my arms above me so I couldn't move.
He stopped pushing and said "You want me to fuck you Bella, you want me to show you how much of a man I am?"
He started moving again, asking with each thrust, " You want me, Bella? Say it, I want to hear you say it."
I let him hold me down. This was all about him being in control and I realised what I had been doing to him...I had slowly been emasculating him, chipping away at his masculinity.
I looked up at his angry face and all I wanted was my Edward back, my loving, affectionate man.
"I want you to love me Edward, that's all I've ever wanted" I said, choking out the words.
His anger vanished in an instant. He immediately stopped and slumped over me, "I'm sorry Bella, I'm so, so sorry" he groaned, gathering me up in his arms.
I sat astride his lap, his legs underneath me, as he held me in his arms.
"No, I'm sorry Edward, so sorry for hurting you. I love you so much, I just never want to lose you."
"Don't you know how much I love you too? he answered " and you will never lose me, I promise you that. Where else am I gonna go?"
He kissed down my neck, nuzzling me, as with a gentle rocking motion, I met each push of his with another of my own. I didn't know where he started and I finished. I clutched him to me, with my hands around his neck and my legs wrapped around his middle. I couldn't get any closer to him if I tried as he filled me up in ways I had never experienced. My breasts rubbed up against his chest and I felt my nipples harden as they met the soft hair that grew there.
He brought his knees up and I leant back against them, straining my body backwards. I let my head drop back and my hair fell onto his calves. I was now fully exposed to him and I heard him groan as he said "I love looking at you Bella."
Edward rubbed his thumb lightly against my clitoris and then opened me out wider with his fingers as leaning back with my hands on the floor, I pushed myself onto him. Back and fore, I felt him slide in and out, as his fingers did wonderful things to my inner lips. His thumb more urgent now on my clitoris, I could feel my orgasm simmering ready to explode.
"Bella I want to see you come" his voice deepening with desire, and with these words my insides undulated with pleasure as Edward watched me orgasm, my legs widening with each shuddering breath.
I felt him spasm as he spilled into me, his face contorted in ecstasy.
He was the only man that could make me feel this way. He satisfied me in ways beyond my imagination, and if I were to lose him... unimaginable.
The following week, I agreed to go to see Rose, under Edward's insistence, as I hadn't spent any time with her in a while due to my over zealous protection detail.
I went one night as Edward was going to bed. This way we didn't miss each other too much, and it used up my time at night when he was asleep.
I reluctantly left him sleeping and seeing Rose again, realised I had made the right decision. We talked as we used to talk ; I had missed her cheery wit and foul mouth!
We were both engrossed in conversation when the door opened and Jacob stood there.
We stood up facing him, surprised by his appearance.
"I thought you had left the area?" Rose said.
"I had" Jacob replied, "but I've come back to warn you both."
"Warn us?" I asked. "About what?"
He looked sheepish and contrite. "I've done a very stupid thing" he said, sitting down in the nearest chair.
I felt that familiar shiver run down my body. My sixth sense had gone to major alert.
"You must understand that I was angry, Bella" he wheedled. "That Edward guy had come between us and nothing was the same!"
"Come between us? I questioned. "There was no "Us" to come between, you idiot!"
The feeling of dread got worse.
"What have you done, Jacob?" Rose asked intently.
He stood up and started pacing. "I was angry" he reiterated, "So I told Tanya about how you had fallen in love with a human."
"Why would that be of interest to her?" I asked, puzzled.
"That night in the gallery, she wanted him for herself, and her jealousy is something to behold. I might have also embellished on the way you had discarded and finished with me over him" he said, embarrassed at his actions.
"She also told me she was going to report you to the Volturi for telling a human about us, but I don't think she would have gone that far. I mean, she wouldn't, would she?"
"Jacob!" I wailed. "Do you realise what you've done?"
"Aro, came to see me!" I cried.
"Aro from the Volturi? asked Jacob.
"Yes, Aro from the fucking Volturi! I laughed hysterically, "Funnily enough, it turns out he was the one who changed me, so he was vastly interested in my life" I said with a sarcastic sneer.
Rose was aghast, "Aro came to see you? Fucking hell, Jacob, you have certainly made a fucking mess this time!"
"Look, I came to warn you didn't I?" he whined, besides it's not Aro you should be worried about."
"What do you mean, what else is there?" Rose and I asked together.
"You've forgotten about Tanya, she told me she was going to get Edward, and she always gets what she wants."
"Tanya!" ...All the talk of Aro and the Volturi had made me forget about an enemy closer to home and I had left Edward sleeping...and alone!
"I have to go, Edward is on his own!" I said, running toward the door.
"I'll drive you" Jacob said. I was about to refuse but his car would be quicker.
We piled in, Rose coming too. She said she didn't want to be left out of any action.
I fervently hoped that the only action would be Edward making love to me in the morning.
We got there at a speed I didn't want to think about and at first all seemed quiet.
Then Tanya's scent invaded the air, and I knew she was here. I only hoped I was not too late.
I crept up the stairs, followed closely by Jacob and Rose.
As I came into Edwards bedroom I saw Tanya leaning over him as he lay asleep.
A deep growl escaped from me and she whipped around surprised; so intent on her task, she had missed our entrance.
She crouched down, a hiss escaping, as her lips curled back and she bared her teeth.
Edward woke at the noise and leapt out of bed, astounded at what was taking place.
"Stay where you are Edward!" I cried out, my focus never wavering on the feral adversary in front of me.
Tanya turned her head from me to look at Edward with a lascivious smile on her face and my attention strayed toward Edward, fearing for his safety.
I realised too late it was a ruse, as Tanya seized her chance and launched herself at me, her dilated pupils centred in her icy cold eyes, her teeth exposed in a terrifying snarl and I thought "this is it" expecting my throat to be torn out at any minute.
"Nooooo" someone screamed and a blur passed in front of me as Jacob counter-attacked.
Unfortunately, in his haste to protect me, his throat was exposed and with one single tearing sound she ripped into throat, decapitating his head from his neck with a single bite.
Tanya screamed again in fury at the body at her feet, realising her chance at me had been foiled. Her attention once again turned toward to me and I heard Rose's answering growl.
Edward lost all control as he envisioned my fate matching Jacobs. My beautiful brave man who I loved with all my heart, defended me with his life.
He threw himself at Tanya, mistakenly hoping to get her off balance, forgetting in his haste the absolute strength vampires possessed. Hardly looking at him, she caught him with the back of her hand and smashed him in the chest. The sheer force of it sailed him through air and his back hit the stair railing and I heard his body topple down the stairs.
I couldn't move. My whole world just stopped.
Tanya looked to where Edward had fallen, another snarl emanating from her mouth as the object of her desires lay broken by her hand at the bottom of the stairs.
Without another thought, and with Tanya's attention elsewhere, a spine chilling scream reverberated through the room as Rose jumped up onto Tanya's back and with one sudden twist, broke her neck; the crack echoing audibly in the sudden silence.
As action flowed to my limbs again, I sped down the stairs.
Edward was unconscious but still alive, his breathing shallow, his legs laying at an unnatural angle.
Rose said she would take care of upstairs and she carried each body past me to burn in the garden. All trace of them had to be erased before I called emergency services.
The ambulance, with blue lights flashing, soon arrived. Rose and I went with Edward to hospital, informing the paramedics he had tripped on the stair carpet and fallen downstairs.
I was working on auto-pilot, my actions robotic and clockwork.
Until I knew how Edward was, I had to keep it together.
We waited anxiously in the waiting room for what seemed like forever.
I paced up and down, I couldn't just sit.
My mind was whirling with disjointed thoughts as I realised all my worst fears had come true.
My one recurring thought was that if Edward had never met me, he would still be all right, still typing away at his book, still singing his songs.
The doctor finally came to see us and asked us to sit down.
"After extensive tests" he said kindly, I'm afraid Mr Cullen has fractures in both legs, his hip and I'm afraid his spine is broken in two places."
"Fortunately there was no internal bleeding and a CT scan showed no contusions on his brain."
I was overjoyed. "So he will be okay eventually?" I asked hopefully.
"He should make a full recovery" the doctor replied, but with a sad smile in my direction said, "He will, however, never walk again as one of the breaks snapped his spinal cord.
I felt Rose's arm go around me but I never heard if the doctor said any more. The sound in the waiting room became muffled and all my senses stopped at once.
Rose became alarmed when I never moved, when I turned to stone. No human could stay as still as a vampire and my behaviour would become noticeable.
She helped me to my feet and slowly propelled me out of the hospital to our car.
I still couldn't move. We got back to our house and she laid me on my bed.
A vampire in shock cannot be helped by hot sweet tea or a soothing hand rub. No analgesic will take away the pain or sleeping pill knock you out.
Rose just did what she had done before. She lay next to me on the bed but instead of taking my hand in hers, she simply opened her arms and I fell into them. I cried dry tears all night, the pain in my chest unbearable as heaving sobs racked my body.
Rose could do nothing to ease my misery, except hold me tight, rocking me.
In one night, my whole world had come crashing down and I floated alone on an empty sea, with no horizen in sight.