Mikaela wasn't sure where she was when she woke up that morning. She wasn't in her room, since her posters of Aerosmith were not hanging on the wall. She sat up, and realized she was sleeping on the couch.
" I must have really been tired." she said, rubbing her eyes, until she noticed a blanket covering her. It wasn't there last night so...
"...Who..?"
" Megs?" she called. Where did he go? She looked in the kitchen, nope. The bathroom, empty. The bedrooms, nothing, She began to panic.
' Don't tell me he took off somewhere?!' she grabbed her cell and was going to dial Sam, when she heard a loud sound outside, followed by a foreign, curse sounding word outside. She opened the door and ran out to the front. No one was here. The back! She heard the sound of water. She turned a corner and saw the top of Megatron's head, which was wet. As well as his clothes.
"What the heck are you doing?" she asked.
" Washing myself."
" In my birdbath?!"
"I was dirty from last night, therefore I needed to clean up. I couldn't find any water inside, except the toilet, but I know that's not used for that. So I saw this large bowl of water. I have a towel. Now I need soap."
" I also think you need mental help." she said, shaking her head " Come on, you're going to catch a cold like that. There's a room specially made for this." she explained, and they both went back inside.
" Uh...Mikaela?"
" What now, Megs?"
" I think..this body needs to expel liquid waste."
" You mean, you have to go to the bathroom?"
" I suppose. I wouldn't know, you're the human."
" Ok, well. The bathroom is down here and..."
" Well, about that..."
" Don't tell me...Oh shit."
She face palmed and looked at the clock, was Sam up at this hour? 8:46. No way in hell he'd be up before 10 on a weekend. But he was about to. She led Megatron inside, grabbed her cell, dialed Sam's number and prayed he'd answer it. She heard a button tone then a groggy voice anwser.
" Hello?"
" Hello? Sam?"
" Kayla?...Do you know what time it is?" he yawned
" I need you to get down here ASAP! Megatron needs to go to the bathroom!"
" Well let him, I wanna sleep."
" He doesn't know how! Just get down here before he has an acc....." she turned around and heard a curse, followed by Megatron roaring.
" Disgusting!" in the living room.
" Nevermind...just go back to sleep then." she grumbled
" Mmm yea.."
"You are sooooo helpful, Mr. Witwicky." she huffed, and trudged into the kitchen to get soap and things to clean up the mess. When lunch comes around she was going to make sure Sam was here to teach Megatron the finer basics of humanity.
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In the shower....
After his little 'accident', Megatron was ushered into the bathroom, as they called it, then into a tiny little stall with a drain on the floor and a metal thing sticking out of the top wall. He eyed the controls, as far he could figure out, and saw this tiny room was a kind of washing station, like back on Cybertron.
'I explored this whole house while she slept...how could have I missed this?' he thought
" See these?" Mikaela motioned, pointing to the controls " This is hot water, and this is cold." she turned it on, and stream of water came out of the metal thing on top. She fiddled around with it, til she found a good warm temperature. " There's shampoo, conditioner and bar soap on the rack. Now you can wash yourself."
He nodded and stepped inside the stall.
" Oi, not with your clothes! Take them off!"
No...wait...
" When I'm out of the room. Leave them on the floor and I'll get them afterwards." she explained carefully to him.
'Ugg, what a way to start a morning. I hope he doesn't make this a habit, or I'll go insane.' And with that, she closed the bathroom door, and prepared the washing machine. She figured, she had to think about something else besides her bad luck. Once she heard the shower door close, she fished around her father's room again, and found something clean.
Closing her eyes, she walked into the bathroom, deposited the new clothes. " Here, change into these. I'll be in the garage."
" This feels nice! Better than the washing stations on Cybertron!"
" I'm sure it is." she replied
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It was lunch time, and Sam drove over with Bumblebee to her house to see how things went. He saw Mikeala watering the plants outside. She saw him and Bee driving up and gave her a friendly honk. She turned the hose off, got her cold can of soda and sat on the doorstep. He stood in front of her and she offered him a soda.
" Sit." she said to him with a sour look on her face.
" So how did your day go?" asked Sam, taking a drink from the can. Mikaela huffed. Sam knew that look.
" Ok, what happened?"
" Three words...Megatron. Bathroom. Accident."
" The hell?!"
" He was trying to wash himself with the water in my birdbath , since he didn't know about the shower. So I had to help him with bathing. Then, he had to go to the bathroom, and because I'm not about to become a pervert, I called you, and by then he had an accident in the living room." she sighed
Sam paled and cringed " Oh geez, I'm sorry Mikaela."
" I had to do everything! It was so embarrassing." she said with her hands on face. " I want you to teach him 'man stuff', ok? I can't be doing this, and you're suppost to be watching him, not me."
" I know, I know, I'm sorry. I'll get to that then." he apologized " You're the one who offered to watch him though."
" Yeah, I know...don't get me wrong. Behavior-wise, he's been just peachy. So long as you have pizza and TV in front of him."
" No, attitude or lip, from him?"
" Once or twice. He'll go into a small tangent, and then stop, eat, laugh at the TV and then talk a little about how much he hates humans. Then he'll talk about how much he loves having a sense of taste...it's all so contradictory."
" Heh, sounds like he likes being human, but he's too proud to admit it."
" I know." she giggled " Like, once...he said 'Humans have such a primitive way of getting information.' and then someone got hit on the head on this sitcom...and he was laughing at it. Said it reminded him of old days."
" Heh, just proves that humor is universal. I wonder what they watched back on their home planet." he asked
" Maybe something like TV? Only without the reality shows?"
" I hope so. Can you imagine a Survivor: Mars edition?" he smirked
They both laughed at that thought. Before falling silent. Sam broke the lapse after abit.
" We gotta find a place for him, Kayla. Somewhere that's far enough away from us, but close enough to watch him."
" That doesn't make any sense, Sam." she replied
" It does, you see..as I see it...he can live in an apartment two blocks away from your house. It's far away enough, but close enough. So he doesn't get himself into trouble or something." he explained
" Ok, that works, but...where's the money gonna come from? He needs a job. And a social security, and a Visa...since he's supposedly, out of the country, and..." she stopped
" Ok ok...I get it. This is..ugg...this is getting harder than I thought." he said scratching the back of his neck.
" Well, we better figure something out, because taking care of a former robotic maniac, and teaching him how to function as a human...it's getting way over our heads here. Maybe...we should call someone? Maybe Captain Lennox or someone to help us out here." she said
" I would, but last I heard, he went back home and is spending some much deserved time with his family. I'd call Maggie, but heck if I knew her number or even if she's still in America."
" And as much as the Autobots want to help, they won't be able to help with the things we need help with. We're pretty much on our own here."
" And the Allspark said 'little interaction is necessary.' Ha! That cube sure screwed us over." he said
" Cheers to that." she mumbled and clanked her soda can with Sam's.
" So where is he now?" he asked
" In the shower. I told him to make sure he puts on all the clothes I left him on the sink before leaving the bathroom. Knowing him, he'd leave a few out, over not being able to put things on."
" I can help him, but he doesn't like me." he grumbled
" Well at least I hope he puts on some underw...Speak of the devil." she said, looking to the hallway.
" I'm able to dress myself now, it's not impossible."
Sam looked up to where the voice came from and saw Megatron dressed in blue jeans and a black t-shirt, he was toweling his hair off still.
" Hey Megs." Waved Sam
" Witwicky." said Megatron with a tone of silent resentment.
Sam caught that inflection pretty fast. O..K, so he was still bitter about the whole 'Turning human' bit from yesterday. That was understandable. But there was little that could be done about it. Least he got his last name right. Not many people do.
" So uh...how did your first day go?" he asked the former tin can.
" Human bodies are completely vile." growled Megs.
" Oh the whole bathroom incident? Hey, you know, I can help you with that, sinc..." offered Sam
" I don't need anything from you, you have done enough damage as is." he growled
" Megs, at least let Sam help you with the basics of human hygiene. He knows more about being a man than I do." pleaded Mikeala. She didn't want to go through that whole episode again.
"......Very well. If it'll prevent future accidents from happening. I will tolerate his...presence." glared Megatron at Sam. The last word spilling out like acid on his tongue
Sam gulped. Ok, he was scared. Even if Megatron was a human now, he still was a bit intimidating. That whole powerful aura he had as a huge robot had been condensed down and radiated a sinister, dominating strength. Mikaela didn't seem to be affected by it though.
" Oh speaking of human hygiene. I wanted to give your hair a trim, it's a bit long." she replied.
He shrugged " Sure, ok."
Mikeala smiled and got the scissors from the house while Megatron went back to toweling his hair. And Sam was in awe. Just what kind of power did she have over him? How on Earth did she train him in such little time? If he had been in his normal form, he would have stepped on her without a second thought. The world had indeed gone topsy turvy.
" Hey sam could you get me a chair from the kitchen. Gotta play barber to Megs here."
Sam went to get a chair and watched as Mikaela went to work with her nimble fingers and the snips of the shears. When she was done, Megs looked a hundred times better.
" Whoa, Kayla...gotta let you do my hair some time. You did a good job."
" Thanks and sure. I'll give you a military special." she grinned.
Sam touched his hair defensibly " No way, I don't want to look like G.I Joe ok? I like it as is."
Mikeala chuckled " Speaking of styles...I wanted to go to the mall today. To pick out some clothes for Megs here. Dingy jeans and shirts don't really do much for him. I see him in something more...professional I guess. Since he is the leader of the Decepticons."
" Was." corrected Megatron
" Still is, in some aspects." said Sam " The whole 'I-am-more-superior-than-thou' attitude is still there."
Megatron growled " What was that, insect?!"
" You guys! Stop it. Sam, stop provoking, and Megs, watch your temper. There's no need to start something now, over something so stupid."
" Just pointing out a fact." sniffed Sam
" As was I." mumbled Megatron
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Bloopers:
" Thanks and sure. I'll give you a military special." she grinned.
Sam touched his hair defensibly " No way, I don't want to look like G.I Joe."
" Hey, that's also a Hasbro series." said Megatron
" Let's just hope Michael Bay doesn't get his grubby claws on the license." groaned Sam
" Or Transformers: Pretenders...good god that was painful watch." groaned Mikaela