Aang took a deep nasal breath, holding it for eight counts, before slowing breathing out through his mouth. He sat cross legged in his usual position on the courtyard, just in front of the fountain and facing the large archway that looked out over the dry, choking desert beyond. It was difficult to say just how long they had been in the marble city in the middle of nowhere, days and nights were unpredictable, but the slow healing progress on Aang's leg meant that it had to have at least been a few weeks. As Avatar Sansetsu had warned, day and night did not work as it did in the normal world, the shortest day they had experienced so far had been a mere forty-five minutes, but this was by far the longest that they had experienced. And it seemed the longer the sun stayed up in the sky the more intense the temperature of the place grew, and Aang sat with his bare back burning as he kept his eyes closed, hands resting lightly on his knees, trying to ignore the sensation. He had counted almost twenty days, if you could call them that, that he had been meditating for. Twenty days of trying to block out every single worry that he had and focus on his inner energy, before retiring as the sun went down. The truth was that his inner energy didn't feel anything like he remembered, what had previously been an action of peace, meditation had become a battle within himself. There was turmoil there, no doubt the Avatar spirit that he had long been at peace with now angry and raging and boiling below the surface, and it frightened him.
The first few days he had found meditation all but impossible, his mind too ablaze with worry to calm, the pain in his leg immense, but after what he presumed to have been a week in this world he finally managed to slip into a state that he was familiar with, the outside world quieting, his breathing eased, his mind seeming to become entirely separate from his body. And then he found it, the spirit inside of him, crouched down as if waiting for him to wander into it's prison. With a gasp his eyes had snapped open, his body jumping as if he had been falling. He could understand why Sansetsu wanted him to master his mediation once more, despite how much time it had felt like he was simply wasting at first. He was walking a fine wire between having control and losing himself once more to the rage of the spirit inside. He wondered if perhaps Sansetsu was fully aware of just how ready that wire was to snap.
On this long day, perhaps the twentieth day, Aang was learning to dance around the spirit within him, to allow himself to fall into a state of meditation without instead falling into her realm. In his minds eye he could see a wide expanse of forest, perhaps not unlike some of those that existed in the spirit wilds, sunlight breaking through the canopy leaving a beautiful bright green halo across the sky above him. Here he could wander safely, listening to the sound of the breeze rustling through the leaves, yet there was always a feeling of unease, that if he wandered too far he would find an area where the forest had just died. No fire had burned the trees, nothing had pulled from from their roots, they had just died and withered away until only the rock below remained. And here the Avatar spirit resides, a dark shadow in the center of the grave, whimpering and rocking to itself. Once he stepped too far, his bare feet making contact with the stone, and immediately it had looked up, a vision of himself with glowing blue eyes, naked and covered in dust, wild matted hair sticking to his face as he bared his teeth and screamed. He learned to stay away from that place, and though he knew it was there and that the creature still resided within, he could find a sense of peace knowing that, as long as he steered clear, it would stay where he had left it. On the twentieth day, with the sun burning his back, he breathed easy despite the darkness.
"You're back."
A soft voice flitted across the breeze in the forest, but it registered no more to him than the gentle trickle from a nearby stream.
"He's been meditating for the entire day ... it's got to have been at least twelve hours now-"
"Fourteen."
A low male voice cut in, the dulcet tones contrasting with the gentle sounds of the forest, and suddenly Aang became aware of the movement around him.
"How long does he need to keep doing this for? It's been weeks," the female voice hissed.
"Do you think he's ready?"
The forest began to fade away as his consciousness filled his body once more.
"By now he'll have found the Avatar spirit, and given he's not gone into the Avatar State he's either fought her and won, or he's avoiding her-"
"What?!"
Katara's raised voice brought him back to the courtyard with a crash. His eyes opened, and he became aware of the burning on his back, and irritably he looked round over his shoulder. Katara and Avatar Sansetsu stood behind him, the former with her eyes wide as she realised how loudly she had spoken, Sansetsu crossing his large arms across his chest and scoffing.
"Sorry," Katara said, rubbing her arm awkwardly.
"You've got a point, though," Aang replied, climbing gingerly to his feet, twisting his head to try and get a look at his burnt back. "I know why you thought it was so important that I master meditation again."
Curiously Katara looked between the pair, a shadow of concern across her features.
"So, you found her?" Sansetsu asked. Aang hesitated, thinking back to the glowing, snarling and feral doppleganger he had found in the forest of his mind.
"Yeh, I saw it."
A flicker of something crossed Sansetsu's face, his eyes twitching and his brow lowering a fraction before the look passed. "And what did you do?"
Aang felt Katara's blue eyes boring into his, and he did his best to keep his gaze fixed on the past Avatar stood before him. She had questions, and it would not be long before she asked them.
"I avoided it, of course," Aang admitted, raising his arms a fraction, unsure as to what Sansetsu hoped for his response.
"Good," the Avatar replied, his face expressionless. "You're not strong enough to face the Avatar State again, not yet. But now you know she's there, now you can visualize her and where she's hiding, everything you do from this point will be aimed towards making her hiding place smaller. Chip away at it piece by piece, growing stronger and more prepared to deal with her when you finally go into the Avatar State again."
"I suppose that makes sense."
"Damn straight it makes sense," Sansetsu snapped. "And no more of this vague 'I guess' and 'if you say so' crap. You either agree, or you do not agree."
"Alright alright," Aang replied, holding his hands up in submission before adding, in a low grumble, "what happened to you to make you such a hard ass?"
Sansetsu's expression hardened, his upper lip curling into a snarl before he reached forward with a flash, his muscled and abnormally large arm throwing his robe aside as, with a loud yelp from Aang, he grabbed the young Avatar's ear. Still yelping, and with stunned protests from Katara, Aang found himself being dragged away from the fountain towards the center of the courtyard, dancing on tiptoes as he tried to keep up with the older Avatar, keen to avoid his ear being pulled any harder. With a grunt, Sansetsu let go of him, turning to face Aang with fists on hips and amusement on his face.
"Now, to start the next stage of your training."
"So, I'm done mastering meditation then?" Aang asked, rubbing his red and sore ear and throwing the older man a glare.
"I wouldn't say you've mastered it," Sansetsu replied, contemptuously, "but I suppose we can manage with the little you've achieved so far."
"Your faith is inspiring," Aang mumbled, his patience just about gone, "truly I've never had such a great teacher."
"Aang," Katara hissed warningly, nodding to Sansetsu before seating herself on the fountain.
"You're on his side?" Aang cried, raising his hands in despair. "I've already got a limp, scars just about everywhere, if I've now got one ear bigger than the other I swear to Koh I'll-"
"You'll what?" Sansetsu interupted. "You'll cry like a baby? Like a baby who's shit his pants?"
"Oh, that's real mature," Aang growled, rubbing his angry red ear once more. He hadn't thought it was possible until now to have a teacher tougher than Toph, yet here he stood, in front of an airbender no less, being treated like a child.
"Just stand on the damn circle," Sansetsu cut in, gesturing irritably to one of the decorative rings of marble on the ground. Gritting his teeth Aang stomped over, thinking back somewhat enviably to the time not much more than a few minutes previous where he had been sat in a peaceful meditative state. As he turned back to face him, Sansetsu untied his sash, shrugging on his robe and dropping it to the side. The man was impossibly muscled, broad chested and definitely intimidating, built more like an earthbender than an airbender. With his own skinny frame and poorly defined wiriness Aang suddenly felt very self conscious and vulnerable. He glanced over at Katara, and saw her eyes darting between him and the mountain of the man that stood before him, unmasked concern on her face.
"So, uh, what's the next lesson?" Aang asked, trying not to appear phased as Sansetsu cracked his knuckles, the way he eyed him not so unlike the way the dog spirits had done back in the forest.
"It's obvious from the scar on your face and that annoying ass limp that not only have you let your basic meditative skills go to shit, but that your fight and speed isn't what it was either ... I'm going to assume you weren't always this pathetic, though I have to be honest you've yet to given me any reason to put any faith in that." Aang frowned. "Now, think back to those sunny, care free days living in the temples, when you were but a smaller brat, what is that all airbenders must be?"
Aang blinked, looking past the insult and feeling confused at the sudden question. "We must be peaceful, patient, and-"
"Wrong!" Sansetsu's voice rang out clear as a bell. "The thing that really sets airbenders apart from the other races is that we are fast. Back in my day we were taught that the best airbending fighters were the ones that never made contact with their enemy."
"Airbending fighters?" Aang interrupted, visibly confused. Never in his entire time in among the nomads had he been encouraged to train as a fighter, and never was any past airbender praised for anything other than their peaceful and spiritual ways. Never as fighters.
"That's what I said, ain't it?" Sansetsu replied. "The very best fighters, the ones that could hold up against men sometimes even triple their own weight was to let their enemies wear themselves out, to use their-"
"Use their weight against them," Aang interrupted again. "Yeh, I get it, but that's not airbending teaching. We weren't taught how to fight-"
"Then how did you learn?" Sansetsu demanded. "From what I understand you were fighting firebenders pretty much as soon as that iceberg spat you out. If it wasn't the masters that taught you how did you know?"
Aang frowned, and he saw Katara lean forward from the edge of his vision. In truth, it wasn't something he had ever really thought about. "I dunno, we're taught how to avoid conflict, that's all I was doing until I learned more about the other elements."
"Right, and you managed that by being fast, right?" Sansetsu continued, reaching up to rub his temple.
"Well, yeh, so what's your point?"
"My point, oh attentive one, is that your enemy made contact. Twice." Sansetsu gestured to Aang's face and then to his leg. "You're meant to be faster, and the next time you face Tonrar he cannot made contact again, not even once. You understand, when you fought against him last time he was in the body of a rotting, dying spirit. But now that spirit's body has been back in the spirit world for a good solid time, and will have been for even longer by the time you're ready to face him, and he'll be stronger. He'll know better how to control Koh, that's even if he hasn't returned to his own body before then."
Bitterly Aang thought back to hearing Tonrar's voice coming from Koh's stinking body, and the weight and strength behind the force that he stabbed him even then, and swallowed.
"Further more, you're at a disadvantage this time. Even if you're able to remaster the Avatar State that leg of yours isn't going to be getting better any time soon." Aang looked down at his right thigh, frowning. "Short of some spirit water from the Northern Oasis that leg it probably about as recovered as it will ever be."
He knew that Sansetsu was right. After starting treatment for the infection he had been able to thoroughly rest his leg, yet despite that and the twice daily healing sessions from Katara he had found that there was a dull ache in his hip that simply had not faded, and a slight limp that seemed to have settled into his gait. The harsh truth, one that perhaps Sansetsu was trying to make clear to him, was that for an airbender a damaged leg was a pretty huge deal.
"So, you need to learn to work with your new disability," Sansetsu continued," not against it. You need to learn how much weight you can put on your leg before it gives, and how to favour your left side rather than your right. Because if Tonrar catches you and aims for that leg,which you can bet your ass he will, you're fucked."
"Alright, I get it," Aang sighed. "I gotta be faster. So, how do we start?"
"Like this."
Quick as a flash Sansetsu lunged forward with his fist, aiming straight for Aang's face. Aang's instincts sprang into action and he bent his knees to jump clear over the past Avatar's head, but with the jolt that hit his leg and the head start Sansetsu had, he simply wasn't quite enough, and with a pained grunt he felt the large fist sink into his stomach, throwing him back several feet before he landed on his rear in one of the battered flower beds.
"Aang!"
Wincing he looked up, hand going to his stomach as he saw the exasperation across Sansetsu face, mixed with a touch of amusement. Katara was quickly at his side, before she turned her head sharply round.
"What's your deal?" she demanded at Sansetsu. "Are you trying to help him or are you aiming to make things worse?"
"Well, actually, I was aiming for his head," Sansetsu responded with a shrug. Katara growled, jumping to her feet, the air around them cooling as she drew water from the fountain towards her, freezing it.
"Katara." Aang reached forward, grabbing her wrist. She looked back at him, eyes blazing furiously, and he shook his head. "It's ok, I'm alright." Her nostrils flared, looking at him doubtfully before dropping her hands with a snarl.
"Alright, but just this time," she said, her voice still shaking with rage. "But if he keeps this stupid game up I'm going to stick that water right through his damn skull."
Sansetsu let out a long, low whistle. "I've said it before but seriously, why can't you be the Avatar?"
Gingerly Aang climbed to his feet, relieved at least that his short flight hadn't injured his leg further. He put his hand on Katara's shoulder and, with a low grumble, she nodded and headed back to the fountain where she took her seat once more. Dutifully Aang took his place opposite Sansetsu once more, hating the contemptuous look across his face. Aang had known from the start that the past Avatar didn't strictly like him, but it was becoming obvious that it was more than just that. Sansetsu had no respect for Aang, and the way he looked at him made it clear that it wasn't just that he disliked Aang; he hated him.
"Not the best start was it?" Sansetsu scoffed. "And it looks like your mummy had to come to your rescue again. I'm embarrassed for you, honestly."
Suddenly he found himself really wanting to wipe that look from Sansetsu's face. He was a peaceful soul, he was good at avoiding a fight, he always resolved to solve his problems without violence, but that big bald head really needed a smack.
"Ok, one more time."
Sansetsu didn't give Aang any time to gather himself, but he didn't need it. The old Avatar was fast, faster than anyone he had faced before, faster even than Azula, but Aang was faster, leg or no leg. He had mastered airbending at twelve years of age, he had defeated Ozai at little under thirteen years, and he had mastered three elements in less than a year. Almost in slow motion he saw Sansetsu's fist fly towards him, the old Avatar adjusting his course to the right in an effort to catch him off guard, and pushing most of his weight onto his left leg Aang jumped into the air. He cleared Sansetsu's head, and as he did he pushed down once more, using Sansetsu's big head to propel himself higher. He looked behind him to see Sansetsu thrown forward, his face colliding painfully with the marble floor below as Aang landed elegantly behind him. Triumphant he raised his head, as a grunting Sansetsu pulled himself up from the ground.
"I'm embarrassed for you, honestly," Aang said, as Katara whooped from the side lines.
Brushing himself off Sansetsu looked over at him before his face broke into a maniacal grin. "Now that's what I'm talking about!" He cracked his fists. "Again!"
Aang and Katara exchanged another look, each raising a single eyebrow.
The day continued much the same for a further two hours, Sansetsu throwing hits and jabs and kicks whilst Aang dodged and ducked and jumped. But, after besting the old Avatar once, it was proving difficult to do so again. Aang was becoming more and more aware of the weakness on his right side, and instinct would often take charge before common sense and he would take a leap from his right foot or dodge to Sansetsu's left and find himself slowed by the sharp bite in his joints. Each time Sansetsu would scold him, giving him little time to recover before he was on him again. Being essentially spirit, the past Avatar didn't tire like Aang did, and as the sun finally started to make it's decent he was panting and sweating, his mop of hair stuck to his face and his hip screaming at him. But as angry as he was at Sansetsu for pushing him so hard, he knew that he was nothing compared to Tonrar.
Sansetsu looked up at the sky, sighing before reaching down to grab his robes, and gratefully Aang dropped to the floor, trying to slow his breathing.
"You can do better," Sansetsu said simply, looking down at him. "From this point we work on your speed and physical strength. You better hope this night is a long one because we start as soon as the sun comes back." And with that, the past Avatar disappeared. Aang grimaced at the empty spot where he had stood, wiping his wrist across his sweaty forehead as Katara made her way over to him.
"That looked pretty rough," she said quietly, looking down at him concerned. "He's going too fast, pushing too hard. This is just going to make things worse."
With a heavy sigh Aang lay on the stone floor, raising his hands and rubbing his face. "No," he muttered through his fingers, groaning at the pain his body, "we've already been in this place too long, Katara. I don't really have the luxury of time any more."
"But this isn't going to help anyone if it pushes your recovery back," Katara reasoned, her voice tense.
He peered through his fingers up at her. She stood with her hands crossed against her chest, her concern obvious on her features, and with a grunt he pulled himself back up into a sitting position.
"Yeh, I suppose you're right," he said, before glancing up at the sky. "Come on, let's get inside."
Quietly Katara followed, her face a turmoil of emotions.
As soon as they were in their empty home away from home, Aang dropped face down onto the bed with a heavy puff of air. Everything ached by this point, not just his hips. Sansetsu hadn't held back, and he knew that there would be a fresh trail of bruises across his body by the time the sun came up. With his freshly burned back, head of ridiculous curly hair, and that scar across his face he found himself glad that the mirror was upstairs.
He was so tired that he didn't even feel Katara until she had sat next to him, and with effort he opened his eyes and rolled onto his side, looking across at the picture of radiance beside him and smile.
"You're much too pretty for me," he said sleepily. His stomach churned with hunger and his body hurt, but despite all that he was finding his eyes growing heavy.
"Well, if you're going to keep letting yourself get beat up like that ..." Katara's tone wasn't a light one, and he opened his eyes again, immediately alert at the tone of her voice. Her eyes were drifting down his body, lips pursed as she examined the cuts and bruises already forming down his side. With a grunt he tried to raise himself up, but Katara reached out and pressed her hand forcibly against his chest, lying him back down. Without a word she pulled the water from the small bowl beside her and set to work on his injuries, her face dark and her shoulders stiff. She was angry, he knew that much. At him? Probably. At Sansetsu? Most definitely. But mostly he knew she still had questions after what Sansetsu had said about the Avatar spirit earlier in the day, questions for which the answers she was hoping he would willingly offer to her without her asking. He lay in silence, watching her. He had kept a lot from her in the past, it had somehow seemed natural to him to keep the gruesome details of the Avatar spirit and his meditations from her as well. But he was trying to be better than that. He owed her better than that.
"Sit up," she said, her voice rigid. "I need to check your sunburn then mix your medicine."
Dutifully he pulled himself up, bending forward so that she could set to work on his back. With his face no longer visible to hers he felt brave enough to finally speak.
"I don't see the Avatar spirit."
Katara didn't answer, only pausing for a moment before continuing her healing.
"When I meditate it's like there's an entire area of my soul that I can't go. Like, everything else is a forest and there's a place where the trees have just ... died. It's not just negative chi, it's not just what Tonrar has left behind, it's like ..." he hesitated, waving his hand before him as he searched for the words to describe what it felt like. "There's a darkness and it's not just mine, there feels like there's too much of it to be mine alone."
"So, what do you see?" Katara asked, speaking at last. "If not the Avatar spirit what do you see?" Aang paused, looking at the small flame of the candle that illuminated their bed, his heart hammering and his stomach churning at the thought of what he was about to say.
"Me."
At that, Katara froze, the water dropping onto the bed. Aang shut his eyes tight. He had frightened her, she shouldn't have said anything ... But then he felt her hand on his arm, squeezing tight, and he looked up into her wide intense eyes.
"What do you mean you see you?" she asked. "You said it was too big to just be yours." Aang looked up at the ceiling, intent on avoiding her gaze once more.
"There's this place that I keep seeing in my dreams. I've been there before, it's where Tonrar pulled me into the spirit world back in Iroh's tea shop leaving my body behind. But ... I've seen it even before then. It's where it happens, in my dream, it's where I-" he faltered, before taking a deep breath. "It's where I'm standing each time I find myself covered in blood." Where I see you dead. "When I meditate there's a place, that darkness, and I think it's the same place. It doesn't look exactly like it; in my nightmares there's nothing but rock around me, yet when I meditate it's surrounded by a forest, but the feel is the same ... the coldness the same."
"Except when you meditate it's you there, not Tonrar," Katara said in a hushed voice, her hands tightening around his arm.
"There's someone there. It looks like me," he paused, reaching up and grabbing a handful of his dirty hair, "how I look now. But it just sits there. Rocking and ... whimpering, like it's in pain. And if I get too close it wakes up, looks up at me and it's my face. My eyes are glowing and it starts to laugh and it- I looked like this crazed animal." He shook his head, the memory still painful. "I didn't think I could look like that."
Katara dropped his arm as if she had been burned, and he looked over at her sharply. He saw a wild panic in her eyes swiftly guarded with coldness, and he was unsure if she was protecting herself, or him.
"I've always hated seeing you in the Avatar State," she said, looking down at her lap, "you know that. Even when you learned how to control it you still weren't yourself, not quite. It made you cold, you had a job to do, and I often worry that if me and Sokka hadn't been there all those years ago you would have done something you'd regret a long time ago. But ... seeing you in it now? When Tonrar o-or Sansetsu tricked you, seeing you so consumed by the Avatar State ... looking like you want to kill, like you want to hurt people ... there's nothing more terrifying than that, Aang."
Doubtfully he reached out to her, his hand taking hers as the weight of her words settled down on him.
"It makes sense that you see yourself," Katara continued. "When you think about it, that darkest part of yourself fueled by the Avatar spirit's anger, what else could it look like other than what you fear most? Losing yourself."
Quietly Aang took in her words. Perhaps she was right ... he had never let the dark part of him surface. Sure there had been times when the pain of losing his people, or losing Appa, had pushed him in a place of rage, but until he had come face to face with Tonrar he had never even understood that there could be a part of himself that could be so consumed by his negative emotions, or that could want to hurt anybody. But perhaps he had just buried it deep, until someone liked Tonrar found it and brought it to the surface. This dark part of his psyche, separate from the Avatar spirit, was now only fueling her rage.
"I think this place, the one in my nightmares and when I meditate, is real. And I think I need to find it."
Katara let out a small laugh, shaking her head. "But isn't that where all the bad stuff happens? Isn't that where you lose it and see Tonrar?"
"Yeh, but maybe that's not what is supposed to happen. Maybe I'm supposed to get there before Tonrar."
"Or maybe you're supposed to stay away from it," Katara reasoned. Aang picked at the mattress.
"I'll end up there sooner or later, we both know that. So maybe I should take fate into my own hands, for once. Maybe I should try and find it rather than just stumble across it later?"
Blue eyes inspected his face, teeth chewing lips, before Katara nodded. "I guess you could be right." Aang reached forward, grasping both of her hands.
"We already know more than we did," he said, his face close to hers. "We're here, Sansetsu is teaching me ... in his own way. And for the moment I can avoid the Avatar State, I know where in my mind I can't go. I just need to tough out the next few days, or weeks, or however long it takes for Sansetsu to decide I'm ready, before facing Tonrar again. And if Sansetsu takes too long then we go anyway."
Katara raised her eyebrows. "That's ridiculous, Aang."
"Our world is going to be destroyed," Aang replied firmly, the words ringing in her ears. "One way or another I am going to end this. Either I stop Tonrar, and the world's split apart once more, or I don't and this all ends. I have to make tough choices, Katara." She laughed, shaking her head.
"I know that. We've already had to make tough choices."
Nodding solemnly he leaned forward, pressing his lips against her cheek. But quickly she reached around and balled her hands into his hair, pulling his lips against hers. Aang felt the familiar jolt to his stomach, that weightlessness in his limbs, and he returned her kiss in full, though all too aware that that hissing, spitting version of himself wasn't too far away. She seemed aware of this too, and she pulled back before they could lose themselves in each other, looking up at him with hooded yes.
"Hey, do you remember the days when all we had to worry about was taking down the Firelord and mastering three elements in less than a year?"
Aang laughed, delighted at the twinkle that had returned to her eyes. "Yeh, those were the days!"
"Come on, you best take your medicine and get some sleep. I don't think Sansetsu was joking when he said training will resume as soon as the sun comes back. We could only have about twenty minutes."
"Good point," Aang agreed, before bending away the water that had fallen on their mattress and taking the herbs that Katara offered him. A little while later he pulled back the blankets and furs as they gratefully slid into the warmth.
***
Bad dreams. Fitful sleep. Confusion. The morning started just as every morning had for much of the year, except this time his body ached from all that he been put through physically the day before. Groaning Aang sat himself up, looking blearily across at the still sleeping for of Katara, shoulders rising gently as she slept, face buried deep in her pillow. As he had the last handful of mornings he decided to let her sleep, quietly pulling himself to his feet and tiptoeing his way past her to the ladder that led to the upper floor.
He hated catching sight of himself in the small mirror that sat above the basin in the bathroom. The bags under his eyes had become as familiar now as the ugly scar that ran from his eye to his cheekbone, and that infuriating birds nest of hair that sat atop his head. For a moment, his heart seemed to constrict in his chest as he looked back at himself, flashes of the version of himself he hid from in his psyche hitting like sunspots in his eyes, and he gripped the basin hard. For a solid minute he stood there, looking at his reflection, the long fringe covering his arrow, and with a sudden vehemence he reached into the bag of toiletries that had been left by the basin. Katara had packed the razor she had offered him back in the South Pole, a razor that despite Sansetsu's mentions of his hair had as yet been left unused. In a way it had felt like a defense, allowing his hair to grow and for his arrow to be covered, but now he was tired of hiding. Tired of seeing more and more of that monster reflected back in the mirror. Using the pump to the side of the basin he filled it with water and, after fifteen minutes of hacking and shaving his dark hair floated across it's surface, his tattoo vibrant as ever.
Sansetsu wasn't standing at his usual position by the marble arch when Aang finally left the house, slipping quietly past Katara and out onto the already bright courtyard. He acknowledged this with a certain relief, taking a deep breath as he was able to enjoy the fresh, cool morning air as it kissed his skin and newly shaven head. It was going to take a little while for him to get used to that sensation again, and he realised just how much warmer it felt to have hair on your head. With a light sigh he rubbed his head and looked around. Perhaps Sansetsu had decided he would give him some time to recover after all? At that thought he could only scoff. No doubt it wouldn't be long before the past Avatar swooped down on him with a surprise attack and foul language. With that in mind Aang decided to take advantage of this moment of peace and take a walk along the long wall that separated the city from the desert. Gracefully, despite his aching joints, he bent himself up using the walls and roofs of the surrounding buildings before landing lighting on the tall structure, closing his eyes as the fresh breeze washed up from the desert below.
He walked in silence, the sound of the birds singing on one side and the dunes shifting on the other providing the soundtrack to his lone wander. There was something that could be said for the spirit world, he supposed. It was much quieter here than in the mortal one, and in some ways perhaps more peaceful, even beautiful. He looked down at the city as he walked, balancing himself with ease on the two foot wide walkway provided, his eyes drawn to the series of round, white, marble courtyards that dotted it. Again he found himself wondering if those poor lost souls were still there, still walking their endless rotations, just invisible under the light of the sun. He sighed, looking forward to see a large flag post obstructing his way, but as he made to slip past he froze, catching sight of a lone figure standing at the very edge of the wall, looking down into the desert.
Sansetsu seemed lost in thought, the breeze picking up the hem of his long robe as he stood in the solid form that he could only take in the spirit world, now that his own body was long gone. Aang hesitated, not wanting Sansetsu to know that he managed to sneak up on him, but not wanting him to think that he was prying either. Yet, there was something, a tangled turmoil of emotion on the past Avatar's face that kept him rooted to the spot. The man looked as though he was in pain, his fists clenched and jaw shut, brow creased as his eyes looked down to the dunes below, as if pleading for them to rise up and take him. Aang watched, heart hammering as the Avatar raised his foot, holding it over the edge of the wall as if he planned to step out into thin air. For a moment, both Avatar's remained still, before Sansetsu shut his eyes, placing his foot back onto the wall. Quietly Aang took his moment to steal away, hurrying back down the wall and onto the roof of the nearing building, hoping that the past Avatar would not hear him.
As he jumped from roof to roof, brow furrowed, he found himself thinking of something that Sansetsu had said when they had first met ... I know what it's like to lose control... there had always been something there, a certain sadness that occasionally surfaced on Sansetsu's face that would be swiftly buried and replaced by his bad temper and sarcasm. He couldn't help but wonder what it was, exactly, that made Sansetsu so qualified to teach him over the past Avatar's. Lost in thought he made his way back to the courtyard. Had Sansetsu lost control of the Avatar spirit, too? Had he hurt people in the Avatar State?
"Where have you been?"
Aang looked up, alarmed to see Sansetsu leaning against his favoured archway, eyes narrowed as he eyed him suspiciously. Aang blinked, straightening and trying to look as innocent as possible.
"I was just taking a walk," he said quickly. "You weren't about yet so I thought I'd stretch my legs."
"Right..." The past Avatar eyed him for a moment longer before finally seeming satisfied with Aang's response. "I notice you found the time to shave your head this morning too."
"Yeh, well," Aang rubbed his head, "it was just getting in the way."
"That's good, seems you're finally making actual progress here," Sansetsu replied with a satisfied nod.
"Yeh, so speaking of which what are we doing today?" Aang asked, hoping that the past Avatar had been joking when he said that they would be sparring all day today as well.
"Core work."
"Ok, cool! Where do I start?" Sansetsu smirked before pointing to the ground.
"Press ups. Go."
"Uh, how many?"
"As many as you can before I tell you to stop."
Aang huffed, glowering, any previous empathy he may have grown towards the old Avatar fading fast as he dropped to the ground.
It was almost half an hour before Katara woke, making her way from the house and walking up to Aang on the courtyard.
"How long have you been doing that for?" she asked, stopping beside him. Sweat dripped from the tip of his nose and, panting, Aang grunted as he straightened his arms for what felt like the hundredth time that day.
"I dunno," he gasped, "half hour maybe. Why?"
Katara sighed. "Because Sansetsu is practically in tears over there laughing."
Incredulously Aang looked back, and sure enough Sansetsu sat on the fountain, holding his stomach as he laughed, tears streaming down his face. Immediately Aang collapsed, his arms giving away.
"Are you kidding me?" he yelled. The past Avatar just laughed harder.
A/N: Hey folks! I am sorry for the long amount of time between updates, it's been a difficult time for me lately. But inspired by some very lovely reviews from a new reader I thought I'd get the next chapter up. Hope y'all had a good New Year and looking forward to Spring.