Chapter 10

"So you're just going to leave me again?" a voice asked from the right of Callie. The teen didn't have to turn around to see whose voice it was. She kept her hand focused on the doorknob so that she wouldn't have to look her brother in the eye, as she stood there in silence. "Is that what you think is going to happen? You get to mess everything up again and I have to sit here and blame myself for not being able to stop you?"

"Jude," she tries to start but the boy quickly interrupts.

"No. If you leave this time it's because you wanted to. Not because you were trying to save me or because you think that you don't belong here. It will be because you chose to do it… So go right ahead. What's stopping you Callie? Leave!" Jude yelled as he pushed Callie out of the way to hold open the front door himself. "Well what are you waiting for!? Run away again!"

Callie just stood there looking back at her little brother and could see his anger-filled eyes glaring at her with both disgust and hate. She despised the thought of having her brother be this upset with her, but rather than show that she nodded her head understandably.

"What's going on?" Mariana's voice was heard by both siblings but neither chose to glance in her direction. And when she saw the bag over Callie's shoulder, the teen came to the conclusion herself. "You're just going to bolt again?" she asked in a saddened voice. "After all we've done for you? You can really just leave?"

"It's what she does best!" Jude spat. "Don't feel bad, Mariana. It's just Callie being Callie. Only this time, she can't blame anyone else for walking out the door, and I wont be the one to cry," he continued as he threw the door open even wider and stomped up the stairs to his bedroom.

"Jude!" Mariana called after him, before she turned around to stare at Callie. "Why did you even come back if you just were going to leave again?" the teen questioned through saddened eyes.

"Mariana, it's complicated," the girl starts to explain. "It's not like I even have a choice."

"You always have a choice," Mariana interrupted in a stern voice. "…All you have to do is choose to stay," she pleaded as she stared at Callie, who slowly shook her head with defiance. "…But you can't do that, can you?"

"Mariana," Callie tried to explain.

"No, that's fine," she nodded and glanced down a the ground before she looked back up at Callie, "But if you leave, I don't want you to come back. It's not healthy for Jude to be put through this over and over again. And I thought that at least he would be your first priority. Shows you how wrong you could be," she retorted before she went up the stairs to console her brother.

Callie looked back outside and saw that the sun was slowly fading and she couldn't believe how tempting it was to just run out of the house. If she did, she wasn't sure where she would go anyway. It made sense to go to Robert's to some extent, but she knew she could never bring herself to go back there. She didn't think she could handle seeing his face at all and not being repulsed anymore.

The teen took a few steps closer and stared at the walkway in desperation. Part of her was screaming to just run but the other couldn't escape Jude's words. If you leave this time it's because you wanted to.

And before she knew it, she found herself turning around and racing toward the kitchen. When she lifted her head all the way up, she noticed Jesus reaching into the cupboard for a box of Oreos. It was obvious to her that there was no way she could use the stove so she quickly began pulling open all of the drawers in search for something to use.

"What was all that yelling?" Jesus asked.

Callie shook her head and answered a simple, "I don't know" before grabbing an item from one of the drawers and storming out into the backyard.

Once the girl was outside she ran towards the tree to hide behind it before she let her body drop onto the ground. With her back leaning against the wood and her legs lying straight in front of her, she lifted her hand and stared at the matchbox lying on top of her already burned palm.

Callie was immediately distracted by the red background and the black bold lettering that read "Safety Matches" on the box. It was like a sign already that was calling her name.

The easy way out that she had been looking for ever since Robert screwed everything up.

She knew that it wouldn't make all of her thoughts disappear forever…

But she also knew that it would be able to calm her down.

The heat always did.

How many matches would I have to use in a lifetime? she questioned herself as she pulled open the small cardboard drawer and stared at the 60 wooden pieces of relief.

This isn't normal, she thought to herself.

Most people see fire and run.

Why was I reaching into the box and pulling one out in total admiration?

Callie put her index finger on the red tip and slid it hard across the rough surface of the box. Her finger moved away instinctively and she held the match horizontally as she stared at the fire. It wasn't like the lighter she had once had before, where all she had to do was take her finger off the button to stop it. And it also had an awful burning smell, but she knew one day she would long for it after a few more attempts.

And without even taking another second to think about anything else she lifted her dress a little so that it wouldn't catch on fire and released the match from her hand, watching it drop onto her right knee.

And of course the pain was difficult to bear, but she didn't move it out of the way immediately as most people would. Instead, she closed her eyes and allowed her fingers to clench onto the grass, focusing solely on the pain that the fire was bringing to her knee, rather than everything she had just done to hurt her family.

When she finally opened her mouth to take in a deep breath, she allowed her hand to push away the tiny wooded stick and let it fall onto the grass. She glanced over to her limb and tried to see what she had done, but the shadow of the tree and the darkness of the night wouldn't allow for it.

All that Callie wanted to focus on was the scars and the pain she had just endured… but her mind kept darting back to Stef's face… then to Jude's… and then to Mariana's…

She realized that she wanted to punish herself for what she had said to them and not just forget about everything.

And this time, the teen grabbed three matchsticks from the box and slid them across the matchbox…