**I don't own Naruto.
How long am I going to milk the whole kissing situation? Hehe, not until the 'whole story' has been covered. I hope that this chapter puts Kakashi's and Genma's overprotective nature into perspective.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story! Mustsleep Z.z
Update 7-25-11: at the ending of Putting Sailors to Shame, is chapter !0.5: Naruto's Evaluation of the Situation… Sorry it took so long to explain this . I hope this answers everyone's questions. **
Putting Sailors to Shame
Kakashi was, in fact, having a good morning. Actually, he was having an amazing morning; which led him to believe he would have an amazing day, but truthfully, the amazing morning was very misleading as to how the rest of his day was going to go.
How did Kakashi end up having a good morning? Well, the fact that he was not awakened by the sunlight because he was sleeping on his left side, away from the window, was a key factor. The man hated to rise to the sun when he was at home because rising with the sun was what he did on missions.
When he did awake and found he was not covered in drool also played a key role in making him very pleased. The dogs had decided that they were going on an adventure to tea country. Kakashi believed the sudden 'we're going on an adventure' was due to the fact that there seemed to be a dog food making company, which coincidentally seemed to reside in tea country, was in need of test subjects for a new dog treat; not that Kakashi minded in the least about what his dogs did.
So Kakashi found himself, drool free and several hours later than usual, taking a stroll in town, where the usual gasps of utter disgust (from mothers' concerning his reading material and giggling habits) went unheard. If Kakashi had been truly paying attention, looking underneath the underneath; he would have known something was wrong. But the man just thought he was having a lucky day and that the lack of gossiping woman was a sign of good fortune, not taking it as the true dark omen that it was.
The man soon found himself at the memorial stone where he spent thirty minutes reading, waiting for some other shinobi to leave, before he began to speak with Obito about life, dogs, books and his genin team. It was then, when he spoke on the last, he realized that today was a training day for them and that it was several hours after noon. So he gave a quick goodbye before heading off towards the bridge.
There was no 'You're late again! (Believe it!)', which immediately put Kakashi on the edge. His ninja instincts kicked in to tell him that something was indeed wrong. Kakashi's eyes flickered back and forth from the three genin, all of whom were not on the bridge but sitting on the grassy field right next to it. Each of them was staring off into their own world. Naruto and Sasuke were, for the first time in history, in the same proximity as each other without fighting. Sakura was, also for the first time, not turning a bright red color while making goo-goo eyes at the Uchiha.
This left Kakashi in an awkward position: which one did he speak to first? Should he even break the calming (although odd) silence? It was actually quite nice, he could read exceptionally well under such peaceful circumstances. But lack of a response was really starting to worry Kakashi, the man who had a knack to remain indifferent to everything. This made him wonder; had he finally broken his team? He'd been late; heck, he'd always been late, but never to this extent. It was several hours into the afternoon. Today he'd actually forgotten about them. The silence was uncanny…
Sighing, Kakashi wondered who he should speak to first or if he should announce his apology to the entire group. If he spoke to them separately he would deal with each of their wraths independently but it would take awhile. If he spoke to them at once he would get it all at the same time; they were only genin after all so it couldn't be that bad; of course, one held a fox demon, one was the son of a powerful Clan leader and then one was a female and Kakashi never really knew what to do with them. Kakashi took a deep breath; it couldn't be that bad… right?
"Yo!" Kakashi announced a little bit louder than usual as he waved his book at the children.
…
Utter and complete silence.
If they had been paying attention they might have seen the famous Copy-nin start breaking into a sweat as the realization that something was really wrong hit him.
"Sorry I'm late," Kakashi began voice slightly trembling as he tried to dislodge the horrible feeling in his stomach. "I met the most amazing woman at the autumn festival." Misleading truth, the woman had been able to pack in more ramen then Naruto.
There were no cries of outrage, disgust or 'hn… pervert.'
Something was horribly amiss.
Kakashi was now inspecting all of them closely. For once the Uchiha wasn't scowling or smirking with malicious intent; he just seemed to be staring off into the distance. Sakura's eyes seemed trained on her hands as her lips moved without emitting any sound. Naruto actually looked serious, his yellow brows touching in contemplation.
Then, just when Kakashi thought it couldn't get any stranger; Sasuke burst into laughter. The boy tipped backwards from his sitting position until his back hit the green grass. There he began to pluck at the low growing life forms before tossing them up into the air.
"A joke," The black haired boy started out, his voice growing higher in pitch as he began to giggle to himself, "this is just some weird, freakish joke."
Kakashi blinked twice; before trying to dispel the genjutsu by muttering 'Kia' with a bit more enthusiasm then he normally would in a battle. Realizing, that this was in fact, real life that was happening; he turned to the only member of the team he deemed at least 'level-headed'.
"Sakura, what's going on?" Kakashi growled as he could feel more sweat begin to fall from his forehead.
The pink haired girl finally gave notice to his presence, but when her green eyes made contact with his black something in Kakashi's gut told him she wasn't all there.
She rose from her sitting position and began to slowly walk towards Kakashi as if in a daze. Her light green eyes were unfocused as if looking past him.
For the first time (in a very long time) Kakashi froze; his mind sputtering as he tried to make sense of this new, chaotic world.
Two firm, petite, little hands gripped his green jounin vest.
"It was a log Kakashi," The green eyed female told him as though she was an adult scolding a child. "It was a log."
Yes, he had broken his genin team and he had no idea how to put them back together. One thing was for certain though, the third hokage would not be happy…
This left Kakashi with only one option.
He needed to get help, and get it fast.
With that the man bolted as quickly as he could, leaving the girl holding his jounin vest (her grip was tight), before the blond could emerge from whatever thought provoking insanity he was under.
#$%
The senibon user was doing what he usually did on his days off, strolling through town making passes at any woman that might be a likely prospect, which meant every 19+ unmarried woman (18 was deemed too young by him, even the great Genma had standards.)
When he caught a glimpse of spiky grey hair in the crowd, he was a tad bit confused; he thought the one of his many drinking buddies had a genin team to train today. He was a bit more confused when he realized that the man was not walking at his usual lazy pace but seemed to be in a hurry; running late again, Genma thought with a chuckle.
But when he noticed the man was not reading his book but was peering around the crowd looking for someone, he knew something was wrong. In a flash that could almost put the body-flickerer to shame, Genma appeared at his friend's side.
"Who are you looking for, Kakashi?" The senibon user asked, curious.
The grey haired man turned directly to stare at Genma, sighing in relief. Genma wanted to gulp, he'd never seen the Copy-nin break a sweat… this wasn't good.
"Where's Anko?" The man almost seemed breathless, and he was missing his jounin vest.
Genma narrowed his eyes, "Trying to move in on my woman?"
"No… I need-," the ex-anbu captain seemed at a loss for words for several moments, "-I need to know how to fix something."
Genma raised an eyebrow. "Anko's good at breaking things, Kakashi, you should know that."
"Yes, but she sometimes knows how to fix-" Kakashi stopped, this was just taking up precious time. Kakashi narrowed his eyes, "Where is she?"
"Mission in Suna," Genma said with a sigh, would he really be outside if she was in the village?
Immediately, Genma saw the calculating gaze in his friend's eye; which meant he was seriously about to consider going to the desert to find her.
"What did you break?" Genma asked slowly, something seemed really off about the usually apathetic man. The usually emotionless face glared at the senibon user for breaking his train of thought.
"Maybe I can help?" Genma tried again, not wanting to be on the receiving end of whatever Kakashi wanted to deal out.
Kakashi sighed, giving in. "Come." Both of them appeared on the roof tops.
"What did you break, Kakashi?" Genma asked again as they both began to bolt towards the outskirts of the leaf village. "Kakashi-"
"My genin team," Kakashi muttered quickly, picking up his pace.
Genma blink several times before trying to catch up. "How did you manage that?" The senibon user chuckled.
Kakashi growled clearly not amused, "I don't know; I was late and now they're broke." Both jumped onto the red bridge.
Genma was about to burst into laughter before the sight before him made his entire mind backfire.
There lying on the grass was an Uchiha… A main branch Uchiha... That was giggling like a two year old, plucking at grass before throwing it over his face where it then fell into his spiky black hair.
A motion from his peripheral vision caught his attention. The tiny, pink haired female of the team was talking to Kakashi's jounin vest like the man was still in it.
"A log," She said slowly, like someone talking to a baby, "it was a log." At that she gave the vest a shake before going over the words again.
Genma stared at Kakashi, who was sweating like the genui-pig Anko liked to throw kunai at, out of the corner of his eye. The man had seriously broken his genin team… They probably were going to need Anko.
Suddenly, Genma noticed that he had forgotten one of the members. The senibon user quickly picked out the blond hair from the green. The kid looked deep in thought, unlike the usual pranking, giggling kid he usually saw.
Kakashi motioned for him to stop, but Genma opened his mouth anyways.
"Naruto, what's going on?"
The blue-eyes looked up and regarded Genma carefully before speaking.
"Itachi needs to stop messing around with Sakura."
Kakashi's and Genma's eyes narrowed in unison.
The words seemed to have snapped Sakura out of her 'log lecture', cutting off whatever words the two were going to say.
"That's right!" she screamed, her voice nearing insanity, "he needs a X.x x.X to his X.x that X.x x.X X.x X.x should just X.x X.x to his X.x X.x"
Genma blinked, the girl could but a sailor to shame.
Kakashi growled; Itachi was going to pay because nobody caught the Copy-nin this off guard. (Actually it was more along the case of nobody made the Copy-nin this worried about people he cared about; not that Kakashi would admit it to Pakkun, but the man didn't deny it either.)
"Tell me exactly what happened," Kakashi barked at the blond who was the only sane member left on his squad.
7-25-11 Chapter 10.5: Naruto's Evaluation of the Situation
Naruto gave a sigh, "Sasuke saw Itachi kiss Sakura-"
"Excuse me?" Kakashi said his voice sharp. Itachi had done what to his student?
"Itachi kissed Sakura and," Naruto motioned to Sasuke, who was still looking up at the sky, his back on the grass, "as you can see, he's pretty messed up about it."
"You kids are all freaked out about a kiss," Genma started laughing. "Are you kidding me? Don't say I didn't warn you about Itachi though Kakashi," Genma said turning to his friend. The laugh froze on his lips as Kakashi looked ready to murder him (or somebody with long, black hair.)
"Well, it wasn't just a kiss," Naruto started, which grabbed Kakashi's attention away from the shrinking back Genma. "The kiss is just what sent Sasuke over the edge," Naruto told the two of them seriously, "I don't think Sasuke even knew his brother liked girls. Sasuke idolized his older brother as the perfect ninja, free of hormones and improper behavior. The shock of seeing reality was too great for him to handle. I believe once he comes to terms with who Itachi really is, he will go back to normal."
"What happened to Sakura?" Kakashi asked, the killing intent around him not going away.
"Well after she watched Sasuke snap like a twig, she planned and went today, to give Itachi a piece of her mind...Why, I'm not sure. Itachi is already a pretty smart person… Well, maybe not. The whole thing was kind of his fault, so maybe that is why she wanted to share with Itachi. I went with Sakura, not to give Itachi a piece of my mind, but to yell at him. Goodness knows I don't have much to spare, even the beast in the cage in my head says that he's almost at wit's end because of my stupidity."
Genma's mouth turned into a firm line, "You have a voice in your head?"
Naruto ignored the comment and continued, "When we got to the Uchiha training grounds, Itachi was working on throwing shurikens with his eyes closed. Now, I told Sakura that it was probably wasn't the best idea to disturb him, but she wanted to give him a piece of her mind, regardless of the consequences."
"She was the one who walked up, and then grabbed onto his shirt and started pulling. Then she started yelling at him, which was supposed to be my job. When he opened his eyes he looked pretty annoyed; trust me, I know annoyed. But Sakura didn't get it… You know, now that I think about it, Sakura isn't very smart. Even I know better than to piss of an ANBU and stand still, you run when you piss one off and you run fast," Naruto shook his head, as if disappointed in his teammate.
"So he told Sakura that there were better ways to spend time and that she should stop being rancorous, whatever that means, and go train." Naruto sighed, "She didn't take that hint either. I'm starting to think maybe I've been seeing Sakura all wrong. She may be the dumbest person I've ever met…" Naruto trailed off as though finally reaching his epiphany.
"What did Itachi do to Sakura?" Kakashi asked slowly, controlling his rage.
"He said that 'you,' as in Sakura, 'should be focusing such energy into breaking genjutsus.' So he did like a billion hand signs and then told Sakura, 'get out.' Sakura then tried to hit Itachi in the face. That is over the line for me," Naruto said swiping his hands in the air, "I am no longer taking any advice from Sakura."
"Naruto," Kakashi spat.
"Oh… Well, after she took a swing at Itachi, she started acting really strange. Itachi had backed up but Sakura started kicking right and left then every-which-way. Then she started swearing and telling Itachi to stop using replacement jutsus."
Naruto shivered, "Then Itachi looked at me and...well, I did the only thing a sane person would do… push-ups. And I told Itachi I was training my physical strength. He walked over, which really freaked me out, so I started doing them faster. Then his foot went under my chest, holding me up. He told me to move my arms closer together and to straighten like a plank. When I did what he said, he then told me to lower myself and not touch the ground and to hold the position for three seconds and-"
"Naruto, what happened to Sakura?" Kakashi snarled.
"Well, she kept getting more and more frustrated. Nothing really happened until Itachi started teaching me one-handed pull-ups with chakra reinforcement. The move looks really cool and Itachi said it would help with my extreme lack of chakra control-"
"Naruto!"
"Ok… Sakura just started screaming, and it wasn't her angry scream; it sounded like she was dieing. Itachi did a weird hand sign, to release the jutsu, and both of us went to Sakura. She was curled up in a ball and rocking back and forth talking about logs and replacement jutsus and being attacked, or something like that. Itachi looked worried and began muttering something about how he should have tested the new jutsu out on Shisui first, but that it shouldn't have hurt her. It took him awhile to get Sakura to look at him, and then he did this weird thing with his finger, telling her to watch it as he moved it about."
Naruto tilted his head to the side as if analyzing his memory, "He then patted her head and told me she'd be fine in a couple hours, but if she was till acting funny she should be taken to a ninja medic for a check-up. He said Tsunade would be best, or Shizune if Tsunade couldn't be found. And he also said that I was to tell them that it was," Naruto leaned his head the other way, "Pro-longed Genjutsu Disarrangement or PGD."
"How long ago did he tell you this?" Kakashi looked back at Sakura who was still clinging to his jounin jacket. It was not looking good.
"Well, it was about eight so… seven hours give-or-take."
Kakashi's lips twitched, Itachi needed to be taught a lesson. The man was way too old for Sakura, he had no right to kiss her, and then to put her in a mind altering genjutsu- Yes, the man would pay.
Genma sighed, looking over at his friend and noting that the killing intent was not going away. "Perhaps we should take Sakura to Tsunade? If it is PGD she needs to get treatment, a couple doses of drugs and maybe a visit to a Yamanaka…" The man trailed off noticing Kakashi's narrowed eye was staring at him.
"Yes," Kakashi turned to Sakura and swung her over his shoulder. "Naruto, practice is cancelled," Kakashi said looking back at Naruto, then his eye went to Sasuke and he made an odd face, "make sure Sasuke gets home safe and… make sure nobody sees him in his current state," he would hate to get visited by the clan patriarch.
Genma began slowly back tracking to escape and return to his stroll through the street, but he was too noticeable.
"Genma, I believe I will need your aid to handle some…personal matters with the Uchiha heir."
Genma sighed, knowing it was bound to happen. The man was a little old to be kissing a genin…Well, he always knew something was up with the ANBU captain; at least he was only a pedophile, not some closet mass-murdering psycho.