Warning: Adult-ish activity at the ending. Beware. Skip after the key words, 'Gave Up' if you don't or can't read.
Disclaimer: I do not own Tokyo Mew Mew.
…Ryou's POV…
I glanced up from my blue lit computer screen to meet the deep brown eyes staring across the room at me. She stood there, hands folded in front of her, in a white summer dress and yellow flowers braided in her long, wavy crimson hair. She took a step into the office and tilted her head softly to the side before she spoke, loose flowers raining onto the hardwood floor. I could only stare as she stood breathing in my office. Her pink lips parted and she started to speak but then shut her mouth with a sigh. After moments of silence, I finally heaved a huff of air and leaned back in my chair, "Yes?"
"Are you ever going to speak to me again?" she asked and her fingers unfolded from one another, parting so that her arms fell to her sides.
"Perhaps," I answered and let my gaze linger on her for another moment before I returned to my computer screen. She took another few steps forward, the soft pat-pat of her feet on the floor echoed quietly in the room. She stood in front of my desk and took the seat across from me although I did not offer it to her. She sighed, long and sad and said, "I said I was sorry. I apologized to you, Ryou. I really don't know what I can do to make this better."
"You can start by leaving," I answered. It was not the answer I wanted to give her and it made the tightening in my heart only squeeze tighter. I heard her draw a sharp breath and I couldn't help but look up. Of course I instantly regretted it by the look on her face. I could tell she was on the verge of tears but she swallowed them back and stood up from the chair.
"Fine," she looked at the floor, "Fine. Fine. Okay. I'll leave."
"Just my office." I quickly corrected and her face seemed to ease with relief. Her hands returned back in front of her and she nodded as she turned to walk out of the office. I watched her go until she was at the doorway and she stopped. Whirling around to face me, she shook her head, which caused more yellow flowers to escape her hair and float gently to the floor, "No." she said and walked back into the office.
"No, Ryou, we are going to talk about this now. It's been three days. I don't feel like I did anything wrong!" She threw her hands out in front of her, palms facing towards the ceiling, as if she were offering me something I had to take.
"I don't want to talk about it." I answered.
"Well I do. And apart of being married is making sacrifices and we are going to take this step and work this out together." She moved the chair she had previously sat in to the side and slammed her hands against the smooth top of my desk for emphasis. I felt the desk give a shake and I glanced from her face, pink-cheeked and teary-eyes, to her hands where they rested flat on the surface, fingers spread apart.
I stood from my chair, "I'm not ready to work this out." I replied.
"Then," she started, low and angry, "get ready."
"Ichigo what you did was unforgivable-"
"Unforgivable!" she laughed but it contained no humor, "Ryou, remember for just a minute what actually happened. Where we were, who did what, and how it ended. Can you think back three days ago and actually say what I did was unforgivable without remembering that it wasn't at all my fault?"
I could remember three days ago as clear as day. Despite my fiancées lack of confidence in my memory, I remembered exactly what happened and when it happened and how it happened...
… A moment of silence swept over us as we stared straight ahead at Elsa in her skirt suit. Red, the color of power, was her favorite color to wear although it paled her already fair skin. Her short, sharp angled blond bob was like a halo of light around her head. Her eyes, as black as her soul (probably at least) were hidden behind a pair of thin, brown wired framed glasses and she adjusted them on the bridge of her nose often as she spoke. Reading from a sheet of paper, she walked back and forth in front of us, only pausing briefly to breath between her strewn together words.
"...And so on we will bring the ladies into the room and they will stand at the alter after," she paused again this time but it was to read an unfamiliar name on the sheet of paper. Lifting her glasses to peer down at the words as if to make sure she was reading them right, she rolled her eyes and continued on, "Pudding has fulfilled her job as flower girl. Honestly Ichigo, Pudding?"
Elsa dropped the paper from in front of her face to shoot an annoyed glance at my fiancée. Ichigo, apparently used to the abuse our wedding planner had put her through, gave a shrug and said, "She's the youngest girl I know who could play that part."
"Play? Play? Another thing about your callow behavior Ichigo is that you do not take the role of the bride seriously. I am consistently wasting my time here and yet I continuously abide by the rules and return just to continue stringing through your ridiculously childish escapades." Elsa ranted and tossed her hands in the air, the throng of wire bracelets clattered against her wrists as they fell down her arms.
Ichigo looked amused, something I was not at all expecting, and shook her head in response to Elsa, "You're such an awesome wedding planner."
Elsa, clearly smug from this compliment, rubbed her nails on the chest of her suit, polishing them until she brought her hand right under her nose to take a gander at her handy work (no pun intended). Seeming satisfied with the sheen of her nails, she smiled and said, "You're absolutely right. Now shall we continue?"
Elsa's voice droned and I heaved a sigh of boredom as she spoke of other things we needed to prepare or go over for before the wedding a few months away. For the most part, from what I had gathered from listening, we were done. It was little things-lady things-that really needed to be touched base with. Ichigo nodded and asked questions and said things that made Elsa every now and then go back on one of her miniature tirades. The woman had a short temper that Ichigo easily set off.
I had managed to zone off into another world after a few minutes and picked up little things now and then as Elsa and Ichigo spoke. When I thought I might start dozing off, Ichigo elbowed me and I looked up to see an unimpressed, annoyed, usual look on Elsa's face. "Well?" she hummed and I looked around the living room until I met the eyes of the red head next to me who stared with the tilt of her head.
"Yes...?" I answered as I sat up straight on the couch and returned my gaze to Elsa. She sighed and turned away from Ichigo and I to rub above her brow line, as if she were nursing an oncoming headache. Keiichiro had mentioned that Elsa was a retired wedding planner that had gotten mad, amazing reviews back in her day. Unfortunately I had a hard time believing him whenever she lost her patience with Ichigo and I. At first I never understood why Ichigo constantly begged Keiichiro to accompany her to the trip to Elsa's. But over time as I was forced more often to sit in Elsa's office down town, I got what she was talking about. Elsa had a knack for getting angry rather quickly and explaining how she was right about everything in anything. Whenever Keiichiro joined us, she seemed to calm down and less frequently freaked out about the smallest things. Ichigo after a period of time stopped requesting Keiichiro to go with her every couple of day's to Elsa's. I figured she must've found a way to either ignore it or just not take it personal.
"Ryou Shirogane. Every time we meet, your mind seems to be elsewhere. Mind letting us know what is so much more important right now than listening to what we have to say?" Elsa lifted one dark blond eyebrow.
"Nothing." I answered and nodded, urging her to continue, "Go on."
"Then it's agreed that next weekend we will have the fitting." Elsa looked smug for a second, "After the fitting, we'll have the correct sizes sent to my office and a week before the actual wedding we will return here and have another fitting. Just to make sure there are no last minute size changes that have to be tailored."
"A fitting?" I mumbled and Ichigo looked at me. Elsa bid us farewell and Ichigo stood to escort her out of the house. I sat on the couch a moment, wondering what I had missed that entire time Elsa was talking to us. I had been to a fitting once for my senior prom in high school when Keiichiro had dragged me into a suit shop so I could stand in front the mirror while the tailor took my measurements for a tux. But besides that I had never been fitted for anything. Keiichiro took care of mostly everything anyways.
Ichigo returned after a few minutes and stepped into the room slowly, leaning against the door frame to the living room. She was clearly chewing the inside of her cheek for whatever reason before she spoke. I watched her linger where she stood, long red hair brushing over her pale shoulders as she listed. I managed to flash a grin and ask, "Is she gone or am I going to expect to find her watching me sleep tonight?"
She sighed, annoyed and long. I was curious for a minute if maybe that was something she had picked up from our wedding planner. She rolled her chocolate colored eyes and asked, "So did you hear her?"
"How could I not?" I answered and let my arm rest against the head of the couch. She seemed to ignore my response and became distracted with a strand of hair. Brushing the ends of her hair against her rosy stained cheeks, she replied, "She was really irritated with you."
"How is that?" I wondered aloud despite the fact that I had an idea of why.
Ichigo's eyes flickered to meet mine across the room and she sighed again, dropping her hands from her hair as she moved across the room, "Oh please Ryou," she flopped on the opposite end of the couch, instantly coiling her long legs to the cushions, "you know she thinks you don't take this seriously. No one thinks you do. Not even Keiichiro thinks you do."
"Do you think I do?" I stared ahead at the green, flower printed wallpaper that always made me feel like I was taken back beyond my years. Ichigo didn't say anything but instead moved her legs so she was sitting on them Indian-style. She hunched forward, playing with the ends of her toes and I could tell she was using it as a diversion to answer my question.
"Ichigo." I lifted and eyebrow and she leaned back against the couch.
"Well yeah, Ryou. Sometimes." She answered, shrugging her shoulders.
"Ichigo you know I've been better." I couldn't help but defend myself. Really, for someone like me who had gone from wanting nothing to do with my fiancée, the idea of getting married, and of course a wedding, I thought I was doing a smashing job. Ichigo, however, seemed less than impressed with my answer and rubbed her shoulder before she shrugged again, this time getting up from the couch as she did so.
"Yeah, yeah you are. Look though," she twisted so she was walking backwards while still facing me, "I can't make it to this fitting this weekend though."
I lifted an eyebrow, "Why is that?"
She rolled her eyes nonchalantly as she rambled on for a minute about this, that, and the next thing. Most of what she was saying made really no sense while she waved her hands in the air and spoke. Finally she slowed down and I got the gist of what she was talking about, "I'm going to tell Masaya that you're not my brother and end this stupid masquerade. I mean it's been almost three months now and I've been ignoring him because I feel awful about lying and not telling the truth that you're my fiancé. So I've been planning on doing this for a while and this weekend is my big day. I mean," she paused to look down at her feet, "he's my friend and I miss his friendship and it would be really cool if he could come to our wedding." she looked up shyly from her feet to meet my expression. She squinted and I wasn't sure if it was because she was waiting for me to blow up or because she wasn't even sure if she liked the idea herself.
I managed to shrug, trying to slowly come to terms with apparently my conflicted feelings under a mask, and said, "Sounds good to me."
Ichigo's face instantly relaxed but I wasn't about done with trying to stop her, "But what about Elsa? She's going to be livid with you." I pointed out while I hid my smug grin. My fiancées eyes narrowed before she looked smug and cocked a deep red eyebrow.
"Ryou," she shook her head, "you really weren't listening very well were you? Elsa brought that up. I looked at you and you said, 'yes.' I just wanted to run by you exactly what I was doing. I didn't want you to be mad or anything on my reason's for skipping out." she laughed, something that was forced and conveyed her annoyance with me. I mentally slapped my forehead for not thinking or listening through the entire conversation with Elsa.
Ichigo cleared her throat and fixed the pink tank top so it didn't ride so far up and expose her naval, "Besides, I would be in a different room anyways during the fitting. It's not like you can see the bride in her dress before the wedding." She smiled with again another lift of her eyebrow and pranced out of the room...
...That weekend came sooner than expected and although I had attempted to convince Ichigo out of meeting with Masaya, it had failed, on several attempts. I made up lies about Elsa requesting she meet us at the fitting. I told her that I wanted her to have an opinion about my tux. I offered to go with her to break the news to her friend. I played sick. I made my chefs daughter, Pudding play sick (which was a terrible idea). In the end she always had a different answer that usually was a laugh or of reasonable means.
I sat on her computer chair in her room and twisted back and forth, letting the cream colored rug brush against the bottom of my bare feet. The white framed, French doors to her bathroom swung open as Ichigo came out, rubbing chap stick along her bottom lip. I shot her a look but managed to mask it with a simple lift of my eyebrow. She looked nice for someone who was going to be telling their friend the truth about their marital status and I had to force myself to swallow the envy that came up like bile in my throat. She looked at me, long hair pulled up into a curly ponytail and sighed rather loudly.
She wore a knitted red sweater with a frilly, yellow shirt underneath and a pair of dark denim jeans. After I took a minute to admire her, she placed her palm on her hip and asked, "What?"
"You look nice." I mumbled with a grin and leaned back in the computer chair, resting my arms behind my head. The day after Keiichiro and her had picked out the bridesmaid dresses, she had picked up a bit of an attitude that she nonchalantly threw out here and there. She had always had a bit of a snap since we had met but as of recently, it had more of a bite. However, she never failed to flush at compliments and her cheeks reddened before she turned away to sit on the chaise at the end of her bed.
She didn't say anything but instead slipped on a pair of brown sandals. I spun in the chair and watched as the world around me turned to a blur before I stopped and looked across the room at her. She smiled, looking down at her feet and looked back up, her lips parting as she began to say something. Before the words could form on the tips of her lips, the door to her room fluttered open quickly and in paraded my dark haired, financial advisor.
"Good morning, Mint," Ichigo quickly spouted out and stood up from the chaise where she sat. Mint, who looked no more ready to try on wedding attire than I did, stumbled into the room and swiped a pale hand through her messy hair.
"Look at me," She gasped, throwing her hands down in front of her. No more than usual, she was wearing regular black work pants and a gray, short-sleeve turtleneck. Ichigo and I looked at each other as she fanned her face lazily while panting in the process.
"What's the matter?" Ichigo finally asked and Mint straightened from where she leaned on the door frame to the room.
"What is the matter! Ichigo, you fool, I'm deathly ill. Today is just not the day for me to be trying a dress I am already positive I will look stunning in." Mint exasperated, swooning as she took another step into the room.
"What's wrong with you?" I asked, folding my arms. If there was one thing I knew about Mint, it was that she rarely ever got sick. For the purpose of her work, she made sure she was always feeling more than well and was in ship-shop-shape. She took vitamins regularly and was on a strict, no red meat diet. Everything she ate was organic and healthy and her visits to her personal doctor fluctuated with how she felt during the week. I eyeballed her from across the room and her head jolted as she turned to look at me.
"Oh Ryou, it's just," she paused, "a little cough."
Silence fell over the room and Mint cleared her throat as she added, "But a rather hoarse, mean cough that could very possibly turn to something more."
I looked at Ichigo and she looked rather taken aback, as if she weren't expecting Mint to lie straight to her face to get out of trying on a bridesmaid dress. My fiancées eyes fell to the ground and she brought her hands to her chest where she nervously fumbled with the long necklace that dangled from her neck. After a minute where I exchanged a look with Mint, she sighed and said, "Oh well, if you're feeling under the weather, Mint, I guess I can always call Elsa and let her know not to expect you."
Mint sighed as well although it was more out of relief than sadness and I turned to shoot my young financial advisor another look. She quickly looked away and returned to Ichigo where she answered, "Thank you, Ichigo. I am just not feeling well at all."
"Mint," I called and nodded to the door as Ichigo sat back down on the chaise, "let's talk."
In the long stretch of hall, Mint practically skipped along the tile floor and sighed happily. She danced along the hall until we came to a stop near my office. She did a little twirl and said, "You have no idea how bad this cough is. It's just making me dance. Huh!" her pale hand fell across her forehead, "I must be hallucinating. This has to be some severe disease, Ryou." she giggled.
"Cut the crap Mint, why are you trying to get out of this fitting?" I asked and felt my eyes narrow.
"Ryou I have no idea-" she stopped once she caught my glare and quickly returned the look, "I am not going to stand in a filly pink dress while Ichigo is named Queen of the Day in a freaking fitting. It's one thing Ryou," she started to walk closer to my office, "if it is the actual wedding but this is just a fitting and mind you, no one looks better than Mint Aizawa any other day than a wedding. Of course I know my looks will dazzle all in just a simple bridesmaid dress but it is the only day where I will let Ichigo look nicer than me." she turned on her heel to pat my shoulders and grinned, "You understand right, Ryou? It's my pride that I have to keep. Without it than I am nothing and you don't want me to be nothing, do you Ryou? Do you?"
"You seem rather selfish to be lying to get out of a fitting." I remarked.
Mint shook her head, all seriousness in her eyes, "Oh no, no, no! This is for the sake of the world. I have to look in my finest everyday. It helps set a balance to the universe. Imagine, me, in anything but the finest. There would be earthquakes! Tornadoes! Tsunami's to say the least. And everyone would point a finger at me!" she gasped, pressing her hand to her chest, "Me, Ryou. I can't let my reputation and my work and the only thing I've ever loved and worked for crumble all in one day because in a mirror, at a fitting, Ichigo looks amazingly stunning while I could at all be considered dowdy." She sighed, "You need to understand. I'm doing the world a favor."
I sighed and crossed my arms, "Are you? Because Ichigo won't even be there. It's just the bridesmaids and me."
"Oh!" Mint threw her hands in the air, "Well why didn't you say so? Then I suppose we could carpool. I'll let your driver take me so we can save the world a little bit at a time." she smiled.
I stared at Mint and knew she was serious about it all. She honestly believed she was doing everyone some sort of favor by looking well dressed and groomed everyday. I had always known that Mint had been vain but never to the degree that I had just experienced. Regardless, she took a comb from her purse and began to tame her messy hair she had probably ruined while on the way here. I shook my head and allowed my voice to lower as I asked, "Why are you being her bridesmaid at all, Mint?"
She looked at me, surprised as the comb glided effortlessly through her dark sapphire hair. After a second, her amber eyes fell to the hallway floor and she stopped, letting her arms drop to the side. She looked back up at me and did something I never expected her to reply with.
She shrugged.
Mint Aizawa, who had an answer for everything, who would have fooled you with a some random, ridiculous made up answer and probably believed it herself, twisted her mouth to the side and shrugged. I stared at her, expecting some sort of response, for her to tell me that it was her duty to serve as a bridesmaid, that she only wanted to do Ichigo a favor, that she wanted to do me a favor, but she only brought the comb back to her dark hair and brushed the teeth through her locks again until her hair was wavy and smooth...
… I had to admit, in all my vanity and glory, I looked damn fine in a a black, slim tux. The sheen of my hair, the color of my skin, the blue of my eyes; everything seemed to look better in the tuxedo Elsa slipped me into. I adjusted the jacket and turned to the side in the wall of mirrors. I had never been the one to strike a pose and enjoy the features of my face and body but as I brought my hand to my chin, I couldn't help the words that poured naturally from my mouth, "I am a handsome devil." I purred and lifted a dark blond eyebrow.
There was silence, as if I were expecting to hear Ichigo's snicker or Keiichiro's head to pop in and agree with a sarcastic laugh but there was nothing. This only encouraged me to continue on and I lifted the other eyebrow and played the wiggle-eyebrow game in the mirror until Elsa's tapping on the door interrupted and she stuck her head in.
"Ignorance!" She called and glowered at me. I stared at her reflection in every frame of the mirrors that surrounded me. It was an instant feeling of being in a fun house, where I saw her angry face at every angle. For just a second I was afraid. More than afraid, I was terrified that it would all be real and I would exit my fitting room and there would be more than one Elsa standing behind the door. I turned around and to no great surprise was granted with the sweet relief that it was just one of her standing there.
"Ignorance?" I replied and she pushed the door open all the way to reveal the group of girls standing in the back, waiting for me to come out.
"You were supposed to put this on and then come out so the tailor could measure you." She sighed and smacked her hand to her forehead.
"Right," I answered and ignored Elsa as she rolled her eyes.
She rolled her wrist in a beckoning movement and sighed, "Just hurry it up, we have to get this over with."
"Right," I said again and nodded as she left, shutting the door behind her. I turned to look back at myself in the mirror and tugged down on the jacket one more time, adjusting it around my shoulders. Then I couldn't help as I twisted to one side and then another and flashed a brilliant smile at my reflection in the mirror. I could practically hear Ichigo's laughter in my ears.
We had left my fiancée at the entrance to Elsa's building where Pudding ran through the revolving doors, waiting for us to enter with her. Mint had explained that she was feeling better before we left and acted as if nothing happened the entire ride downtown. Ichigo seemed hardly phased by her behavior and as we stood in front of the doors, went along with the charade that it had never happened either. I looked down the sidewalk and dug my hands into the pockets of my jacket. Although it was getting close to summer, the early spring afternoon's still had a bite to them.
"You'll be fine?" I asked.
Ichigo looked over her shoulder, as if waiting to see Masaya walk out from between two buildings and turned back to me, nodding, "Yeah I'll be fine. Please Ryou," she rolled her chocolate colored eyes, "what's the worst that's going to happen?"
I shrugged as Mint started her walk inside, "He kidnaps you and holds you as his slave?" she gave me a sideways look that explained that she was less than impressed. I smiled and added, " A lot could happen. I'm just saying."
"I'll meet you here tonight?" She had turned to start walking away.
"Sure." I grinned and she returned it was a smile, before she spun around back towards me. Ichigo was never one to introduce the idea of public displays of affection but every now and then, she surprised me. Seizing the moment, for lack of a better explanation, she gave a small hop and slung her arms around the back of my neck. Leaning on the tips of her toes, she gently yet firmly pressed her lips haphazardly against mine, clumsily pressing herself closer as she leaned into the kiss. I stumbled backward from the sudden movements but easily fell into the embrace and returned the kiss as I hugged her warm body close. For just a second, I felt the world disappear before she was gone from my arms, running at full speed down the sidewalk.
I stared at my arms, still outstretched as if she were there but only invisible. I let them fall to my sides and watched her run down the sidewalk, tripping on her own feet once but then quickly regaining herself as flew to the right down another sidewalk and disappeared from my view. I turned to look at Mint and Pudding who stood awkwardly within the revolving doors, their mouths dangling open. I rolled my eyes and started towards them, pushing my way through the revolving doors only to meet in Elsa's office a few minutes later with Lettuce and Keiichiro...
..."I do not know who chose those hideous bridesmaid dresses but I demand that they are to be sued!" Mint proclaimed as we left Elsa's office. I turned to look at Pudding as she followed behind Lettuce, prodding her with multiple questions as they walked. Mint looped her pale arm around mine, jabbering on as we left the building, "Honestly Ryou, Ichigo has to have some taste. I've seen her put together those outfits every day and they really aren't that shabby so I just don't understand why of all the dresses in the world, does she have to choose the only one that makes me look like a sow in heat."
I lifted an eyebrow as we walked through the revolving doors onto the now dark streets from the setting sun, "I think you're being too hard on yourself Mint. You looked far better than a sow in heat."
"Thank you," she didn't sound grateful and tugged my arm close as we walked out onto the sidewalk. I turned to make sure Lettuce and Pudding weren't too far away and noticed that they had fallen behind to stay in the building. I squinted and saw that Keiichiro was with them and they were talking near the revolving doors. I figured it was for Elsa or something to do with the fitting and turned back to the street in front of us. Mint did a little hop and sighed, "It's so cold. Where is the driver? I'd really love to go home and just wash away today's failure in my bathtub."
"We're waiting for Ichigo first," I answered and watched the streetlights slowly flicker on to a faded, orange dim.
"Where is she?" Mint looked down the sidewalk before she fell to a hushed whisper, "Oh Ryou! Look! There's two people approaching us! If they attack, I won't be able to claw them like usual so you'll have to handle them both on your own."
I turned to follow her gaze then paused and replied, "Mint you're the most horrible person I've ever met. The only thing you've ever clawed at is a poster of Christian Bale's chest."
She 'shh'ed me and leaned against my arm, "It looks like a man and a girl. I might be able to take on the girl but if she throws any punches-I'm sorry-I have to run away. Mint Aizawa does not punch. It could very possibly bruise and cause a blemish."
"I could very well kill you tonight, Mint." I looked down the sidewalk and bumped Mint's elbow, "How do you know they're killers and not just secret lovers going for a stroll this evening."
"Because," Mint turned to look at me then paused as if she didn't have an answer. I smirked, lifting an eyebrow as I waited for her answer. It never came and her cheeks flushed with embarrassment as she turned away to look back down the street at the couple. They had stopped walking and I could feel Mint ease with some relief. I had never known she was so suspicious of everyone at night. I ignored it and out of boredom, continued to watch the couple.
Mint sighed as she watched them turn towards each other, "Are they going to make out or what?"
I felt something squeeze uncomfortably within my chest and I had a sudden feeling like I hoped they didn't. It didn't take long before I realized why. They had stepped into the dim light of the light post where they stood about twenty feet away. The red hair of the the girl lit up like a red strawberry tinted orange from the light. I felt Mint pull away as she tried to peer closer and I drew in an uneasy breath.
"Is that...?" Mint's voice trailed off but I already knew who she was talking about. I swallowed and watched as the brown haired man talked animatedly. He raised his hands up, palms towards the night sky, as he spoke. Ichigo nodded and her arms folded across her chest as she listened to whatever Masaya was saying. I felt the air around me go still, as if I had lost sight of the world. The wait was excruciatingly long and I could tell Mint had fallen in with the silence as we watched.
They both went still as Masaya stopped talking and I watched Ichigo's gaze fall to the floor. They were sharing a moment of silence when Masaya's hand found its way to Ichigo's face. She looked up at him, as if questioning what he was doing, and the next part Mint had to hold onto me for. Masaya's hand trailed it's way up Ichigo's cheek and his fingers tangled into her red hair, despite that she had it held up in a ponytail still. Her brown eyes grew wide and her lips parted when Masaya leaned down and kissed her. He tilted her face into him, caressing her with such a kiss that she froze.
Mint's arm, I realized, was tight around mine and I glanced down to see that I balled my fist into the pocket of my jacket. I looked up and around and then back at Ichigo as she pulled away from Masaya, pushing him as she stumbled back. I blinked hard and noticed Mint had been looking at me.
"Ryou," her voice had fallen to a soft whisper, "I'm so sorry."
I looked back up at Ichigo as I watched her disappear into the darkness of the street. As she ran past every light post I saw her turn and look over her shoulder, as if staring straight past Masaya-who stood under the light post dazed and bewildered-to me. She never slowed each step and eventually she was gone. Like earlier, she had disappeared.
I untangled my arm from Mint's and turned towards the revolving doors, "I'm going to go call for the driver."
"But Ryou," Mint followed briskly after me, "What about Ichigo? What are you going to do? That guy just kissed her!"
I felt a sudden coldness, like the evening air had picked up and was stained frozen. I shoved my other hand into my jacket pocket and shook my head. The only thought, as I looked back, that went through my mind at the time was that I needed to get home. To just get home and wash the days failure from my skin like Mint had said...
… That had been almost three days ago.
Overall I just didn't want to talk to Ichigo about what had happened that night. It crushed me to know that some other person had taken her into their arms and kissed her like they had. Every time I remembered, every time she brought it up, I recoiled into the shell I had built. It was as if the memory itself brought a punch to the gut. It wasn't worth it to me to talk about it.
She insisted we did though.
It didn't matter where we were; she brought the subject up and demanded we talk it over. 'Get it out of the way' she said. 'Clear the air' she said. But I couldn't. I was holding a grudge. I was angry. I was angry from the pit of my stomach. It was like a fire that had ignited and every single time I remembered, it grew stronger with the flames that licked and burnt my insides.
I was sad, of course. I was angry, of course. Who wouldn't be? She may have pushed him away, ran into the darkened night to flee him and the situation but I was left standing, watching, wondering, and feeling emotions I had never felt in my life. Ichigo didn't seem to understand that I had grown up, raising myself. She didn't seem to get that I never had a girlfriend. It was reasons like that in which I realized why I had never wanted to be married or involved in an intimate, romantic relationship.
I loved Ichigo, I had finally realized and came to terms with it.
But I remembered my life before her and with guilty regret, wanted it back. I suppose that was why I didn't want to talk to her about it. I didn't want her to know of the secret revelation I had. I didn't want to deal with the feeling of jealousy, of anger over her, of betrayal. I had never had to before. Ichigo coming into my life was bittersweet. I fell in love, something that I had never planned to do. I was getting married, something I never wanted to do. But I dealt with feelings I never planned or wanted to deal with as well.
It set me on a whole new track of perspective. I had a different opinion about what I wanted to do then. I looked up at Ichigo as she stood next to my desk. Spirals of wavy, sun dried hair fell to her shoulders and chest. Every strand of hair that was pulled away from her face contained tiny yellow flowers Pudding had braided in earlier that day. Her white sun dress was stained green from the grass. Her bangs framed her perfectly round, chocolate colored eyes. Every feature on her face was petite and 'cute'. I sighed thinking of what to do. For three days, I sighed, thinking of what to do. And from the second Ichigo had woken up and stood at my bedroom door, she had hounded me for three days to talk.
Without any clear distractions, I was left to face her head on. I had to stare at her. Was this the girl I was really going to let run my emotions tired and drain me until I was dry? Was this the girl I was preparing to spend every day thinking about and living with until our days came to an end? Was she really the girl I was prepared to throw all of my life before her out on? Was she really worth it in the end?
She reached out a pale hand and took mine between her fingers. I turned my attention back to her. It wasn't necessarily that I didn't believe what she did was unforgivable. I knew she didn't kiss Masaya. I was smart enough to see her reaction, evaluate it, and come to the conclusion that she was not romantically attracted to him. But I couldn't fight her back without being somewhat stubborn. I pined to hear it from her herself, not from my own made up theories. So I played the charade. I feigned knowledge. I needed to hear her tell me everything. And I was prepared to push and fight her until she fell to her knees in tears, explaining that she never, ever loved Masaya.
"I don't love Masaya. I don't even like him like that. He kissed me, I didn't kiss him. That was why I ran, because I wasn't even sure how to react." Her eyes fell to her hand where she held my fingers, "I love you, Shirogane. Even if you are a stubborn, non evaluating man, who couldn't see that I was so not interested in Masaya. I still love and want to be with you." Her brown eyes returned to mine and I felt my mouth fall. I had to admit, and I hated to admit it with every fiber of my being, she was sharp.
I let my mind fall back to my earlier thought process as I stared at her. I wanted Ichigo to be worth my energy. I wanted her to be worth every stupid emotion I had finally met. I missed my single life, I knew that. I was torn between her and what I previously had. I didn't want to worry about Ichigo and someone taking her into their arms again. But I was too deep in to not care if I found out she ever found someone new.
Ichigo looked up at me through her red bangs and thick eyelashes and watched quietly as she waited for my response. I had my options to weigh and decisions to make before I could answer her. So I looked away and planned my speech of what to say to her.
And gave up.
"Fuck it." I mumbled and grabbed her roughly. The anger that had ignited and grew in my stomach was instantly driven into the passion I had with Momomiya. My hands found their way to her temples, where I tilted her head to meet my face, and kissed her such raw, fierce vehemence that her knees grew weak and she sank against me, holding onto my arms. I wrapped an arm around to her back and her hands moved from my arms to my chest and over my shoulders. Her touch sent sparks through my shirt and after she gained bearing in her legs, I found that we were stumbling clumsily around the office, our lips moving in a feverish kiss.
We finally found consonance against the wall closest to my desk and I lifted her legs as they coiled around my waist. Her arms flew around my neck and I ran my tongue over her lips, demanding entrance to her mouth. Our tongues met and I tasted the sweetness of Ichigo's mouth. A moan gave from her throat and out of instinct my hands glided from her bare thighs to underneath her dress, up her sides and to her lower back. Our lips parted, despite that my hunger of her mouth hadn't been fed, and her head flew back against the wall as she groaned with appreciation. The fire flooded from my chest to my fingertips and every touch, every caress instantly became hot and fiery.
Her fingers rolled over my shoulders, pressing deeper into me. My lips found their way against the flesh of her neck and I drew deep and long until bruises stained the pale of her skin. The fire continued to roar and it fed its way through my body, until I found I was losing control. I pushed Ichigo against the wall, kissing from her neck to her chest, ignoring the thin fabric of her dress that separated me from her sweet skin. Every act came naturally, as if I had millions of years of experience, and I acted upon them until I was satisfied.
Ichigo drew heavy breaths, only encouraging me to continue as I kissed and nipped at her chest beneath the dress. Her fingers tangled in the locks of my hair and she trailed them to my face, where I broke away and kissed every finger on her hand, slowly and erotically. Our eyes met and they locked there until we were practically running down the hall, through the doors of my office, acting on animalistic impulses I don't think we ever had until then. I pushed the doors open to my bedroom and grabbed her again, continuing what we had started in my office except from the comfort of closed doors. And where we would draw from each other the fire that we had ignited within ourselves, burning deep within our cores. So bright and so strong that not even water could douse it.
...to be continued...
A/N: I know what you're thinking... Well stop! You never know what happens until the next chapter! Sorry everyone for the long wait. I had some computer problems that needed to be fixed. Unfortunately they still aren't fixed but at least I'm able to get everything up and running properly for the most part. So... I'm guesstimating about mmm three or four more chapters and then we call it done eh? Sounds good to me! :) You know the drill. See you guys next chapter.
Kristen