Note: This chapter is rated M for: Some suggestive adult themes.
Consider yourself duly noted.
"Like, do you ever, kinda, wonder why we're here?"
Petunia, sitting beside Automne under a shady tree, stared off into the middle distance. A small steady stream of smoke rising off the joint that hung between her lips.
If Automne had to guess she was probably staring at a suspicious tree standing a few yards away which, at least in Automne's mind, looked a tad too tree-like to be a tree. Then again all the trees around them looked slightly odd on account of their thinning branches and dying bark. The forest floor was even decorated with dying leaves, the kind that made the nice crunching noise when you stepped on them. But disregarding crunchy leaves, Petunia continued to stare off into the forest.
"Hey," Automne said, snapping his fingers to try to get her attention. "Petunia… Hey, you alive?"
Petunia remained motionless. But before Automne could reiterate, or begin to question what he would do with her dead body, she exhaled a sizeable cloud of smoke and muttered, "What?"
"D'you hear what I said?"
"Nah, I spaced out." Petunia said, her voice considerably more dozy than usual. Taking the joint in her fingers she held it out for Automne and pulled out her Scroll. "What were you sayin'?"
"Something profound and philosophical about life and our place in the universe." Automne replied casually, taking the joint and placing it between his lips. With a small inhale he filled his throat with hot smoke that tickled every centimeter of his trachea. A couple seconds later he burst out coughing.
"Two things;" Petunia remarked as she leaned over to snatch the joint back. "One, you took that like a bitch. And two, what the hell do you have to say that's profound and philosophical?"
"I have a lot to say."
"Oh, well then, pardon me. Please, go on and blow my mind with your profundity."
Automne paused for a second. "Umm… Why… why is North considered up?"
"… What?"
"Like, on globes, and maps, and stuff north is always up. Why isn't it the other way around? Why isn't north down and south up?"
Petunia looked off into the middle distance for a moment. She took a small hit from her joint and slowly exhaled. "I'm going to go out on a limb… and say it has something to do with science."
Automne paused. "Yeah, that's a good enough answer for me."
"Hey…"
"Yeah?"
"What's the most inappropriate thing you've masturbated to?"
Automne let out a loud snort. "I am not answering that." He said while giving his best effort to hold back laughter.
"Why, is it something horrible like children?"
"No," Automne said through his giant smirk. "It isn't children."
"Oh my Dust, you laughed," Petunia responded, somehow managing to keep a completely straight face. "That means it is children."
"Shut up, I don't masturbate to children."
"No, you just rape them."
"Pffffft," Automne trumpeted like a congested pachyderm before bursting into laughter. "We're both going to hell."
"Speak for yourself, child molester." Petunia chuckled.
"Automne! Petunia!"
Automne, still slightly taken aback by the rape allegations, looked up in confusion upon hearing Eve's voice. And when he saw none other than the dark haired, heavily clothed girl wearing an abjectly upset face and standing just a couple yards in front of him, the majority of his amusement shriveled into a giant raisin of discomfort that comfortably lodged itself somewhere between his lungs and stomach. "Eve," Automne's voice a tad hoarse from smoke and sudden self-consciousness. "Heyyyyyyyyyy,"
"What are you doing?!" Eve's question delivered with all the anger that a conservative, well-mannered, polite young woman could muster.
"Smokin' dat good ol' kuuuuuuuuuuuuush." Petunia shamelessly replied, not even remotely surprised by Eve's sudden entrance.
"Petunia, shut up." Automne snapped weakly. Trying to compose himself despite the fact that he knew he was screwed. "Eve, what are you even doing out here?"
"Petunia texted me and said you were in the forest and you needed snacks!" Eve huffed, her arms now crossed and her eyebrows lowered into an unpleasantly stern position.
"Petunia, why did you text her?!"
"Because I'm hungry." Petunia replied.
"Ehck… Y-you know what," Automne started calmly. "As much as I want to, I can't fault you for that. I'm gettin' kind of hungry too." Automne admitted shamefully.
"So Eve, you grab anything good?" Petunia asked, practically oblivious to how livid Eve was.
"No," Eve said in a huff. "I didn't bring you anything."
"Boooo,"
"No 'Boo'; what do you think you're doing? Marijuana is illegal, and we are on school property."
"Oh come on, Eve." Petunia said. "It's just a bit of pot."
"Wait, is the forest school property?" Automne asked. "Because I kind of thought it was public, since it's a forest."
"I think it's just undeveloped land that the school technically owns." Petunia replied, setting the end of her joint aglow as she took another puff.
"Stop smoking in front of me!" Eve shouted stamping on some dead leaves to remind the two that she was still there.
"Oh come on, killjoy." Petunia slowly drew in another breath, the end of her joint turning to a gray ash that crumbled into the grass. In a proud, shameless gesture Petunia pushed out her lips and blew smoke in Eve's direction. Letting her shoulders sag Petunia offered Automne the joint.
Automne's eyes nervously bounced from the joint, held in Petunia's extended fingers, to Eve. Automne was starting to build up a weak immunity to Eve's normal glares, but the underlying level of 'I expected better from you' was burning straight through all his defenses. With a simple hand wave Automne rebuffed Petunia's offer. "L-look, Eve, it's- it's not as bad as you think."
"It's illegal!" Eve scolded, not even mildly deterred.
"It's just a bit of pot." Petunia said casually, taking another small hit from the joint.
"It's bad for you!"
"Ehhhhh, it could be worse." Automne so unsure of himself that he flinched when Eve turned her eyes back to him.
"It damages your lungs. It's bad for your heart and blood pressure. It can have severe effects on mental health!" Eve listed off, her fury becoming more unbridled by the moment.
"Most of that is just propaganda." Petunia said, again offering the joint to Automne. "Dude, are you gonna to have another take, or can I finish it?"
"Petunia, not now." Automne said in his most pointed whisper.
"Marijuana is a gateway drug, and thirty percent of people who use it have dependence issues!"
Automne gave a heavy sigh. "Look, Eve, it's just an occasional thing we do when we have a hard week."
"Occasional?!"
"Dust damn it," Automne whispered.
"How long has this been going on?!" The majority of Eve's hostility directed at Automne.
"It's justa- it's just a couple times. A-a few times." Automne stammered, hands held up in defense.
"About four times; maybe five." Petunia added without the slightest bit of concern for Automne.
"She is high-balling it! We have not done this five times."
"YOU-you-you-you… DRUGGIE!" Eve screeched, stomping her feet into the grass as she curled her twitching fingers into fists. "I'm-I'm… I'm going to tell Ty!" Eve concluded dramatically.
She even gave the two ample time to gasp and repent for their atrocities, but instead of doing any of those things Petunia just went, "Okay, he already knows."
This was actually so shocking to Eve that she had to do a double-take and stammer incoherently to herself for a bit before she could muster a confused, "What?"
"Ty knows that I smoke pot. I don't know if he knows about Automne, but he knows that I do it." Petunia said. "He's actually really lenient about it."
"Yeah, he apparently had an ex-girlfriend who used to sell pot or she was really into it, I don't remember." Automne said, somewhat calmer now that Eve had lost her train-of-rage.
"Eh-bu-but you're-th- No!" Eve stated, struggling to regain her momentum.
"Eve, it's not as bad as you think it is, especially if you just do it on occasions. We really just do it to relax a bit, that's all." Automne said, delicately taking the joint from Petunia. Holding the rolled paper between his index finger and thumb he leaned forward off the tree and extended the smoldering paper out towards Eve. "Why don't you just come over here, sit down, and try just a bit. I swear it's not as bad as you think it is."
Eve, staring at Automne's red eyes, took a small step backwards. Holding her hands against her chest she shook her head, resilient to his offer. "N-no, no, I'm not going to let you try to peer pressure me into this."
"Eve, please, it's… Wait, did you just use 'peer pressure' as a verb?" Automne said with a sardonic lilt as he raised an eyebrow at her.
"Stop mocking me!"
"I will when you stop using nouns as verbs." Automne chuckled.
Eve blushed brightly and threw her trembling hands down to her sides. "Yo-you're unbelievable! I expected better from you!" And with that and another stern look of disapproval she turned around and sprinted off towards the school.
The sound of dry leaves crunching beneath her feet became a soft, distant sound as Automne watched her disappear behind tree-trunks. Slightly depressed by Eve's words Automne took a large hit from the shrinking joint and released a large plume of smoke with a sigh. "You were absolutely no help."
"Eh, it's just pot." Petunia shrugged as she cozied up at the base of the tree. "She won't hold it against you, man."
"I know she won't, but I don't like it when we fight." Automne still looking off into the trees.
"You could probably catch her if you go after her."
"No," Automne sighed, slumping back against the tree. "I'll let her calm down… Do you wanna head back soon, grab something to eat?"
"Nah, not yet, I don't wanna move." Petunia said, sinking into her jacket. "It feels good right here. It's, like, that nice kind of warm and cool right here."
"I know what you mean. Like, the sun is coming down in the right spots, and it just feels nice." Automne said as he closed his eyes and tried to relax in the shade of a thinning tree. Breathing in the smell of dying leaves and smoke Automne tried to wash Eve, school, and other troubling things from his mind for just a short while.
So, Automne took a deep breath and gave a nice heavy exhale as he sank into his warm sweater.
"Hey, dude,"
"Yeah?" Automne mumbled.
"Do you know how to make pork rinds? 'Cause those sound, like, really good right now."
"Oh my Dust, those sound amazing." Automne slurred, slowly sitting up. "I could really go for some of those right now. Maybe some of those fried onions too."
"Hell yeah, let's go get somethin' to eat." Petunia said as she and Automne pushed themselves off the ground and shuffled out of the forest in search of pork rinds, fried onions, and other snacks.
I could really use some Oreo's right about now.
-CS