Stay With Me
Chapter 10
Ally's POV
"Austin! What are you doing here? Why are you throwing things at my window?" I try to keep my voice down but he just makes me so mad.
"I need to talk to you! Come down here please." Does he really think that I will talk to him right now?
"You said enough earlier today. I don't want to hear anything else."
I start to close my window, but what Austin says next stops me. "If you don't come down here I can either climb up with a ladder or just come in through the front door. I really need to explain." I close my window all the way and pace around my room. If I go down there to talk to him, he will probably change my mind, but I need to hear what he has to say.
I quietly open my front door, not wanting to wake my dad. I walk over to where Austin's standing. "If you could make this quick, I don't want to stand here and listen to your excuses."
"I feel so bad, I didn't know that you were there and"
"Just because you thought that I wasn't there, doesn't mean that you had the right to say all of that!"
He looks at the ground and I can tell that he feels bad, but I know that I feel worse. "Listen Ally"
I cut him off. "No you listen! You humiliated me! You told the whole diner that you feel bad for me! You just had to bring up my mom and my low self-esteem." My arms wail up. I have never been this mad in my life. "And you feel like you owe me something! What do you think you owe me now? If you owe me anything it's to leave me alone. I trusted you! I told you about my mom when I could've just made something up. I could've told you that I was adopted or my mother died! But no, I felt like I could tell you the real reason. Now I know that I can't tell you anything!"
"You can trust me! I know that I shouldn't have said all of that okay? I feel terrible. Cassidy wouldn't drop it and I just blew up."
"You blew up? You feel terrible? I feel terrible! You used all of my insecurities to explain why you couldn't possibly like me! I get it, I'm unlikable."
"No I didn't mean it that way!"
"Then what way did you mean it?"
He starts pacing, up and down the sidewalk. He runs his fingers through his hair, pulling a little. "I don't think you realize how much of an impact you have had on my life! Ever since you dropped your tray on me a few weeks ago you're all I can think of! I wake up in the morning and you're in my mind. I go to sleep with your laugh replaying in my head. I try to shut my mind up, but all it wants to think of is you! And your awkwardness that makes me laugh. And your beautiful hair and the way you chew it when you're nervous. And your eyes that make me want to melt. And your voice and the songs you write. I try to stop my self from feeling this way because I know that you could never feel the same. I just can't stop my self. I may not love you yet but I like you a hell of a lot."
Oh my God. He just said that he likes me and he thinks about me all the time. How am I suppose to respond to that? I'm suppose to be mad at him.
The crickets are chirping and neither of us are talking. "You don't have to say anything if you don't feel the same way." I continue looking at the ground. If I wanted to say something, I wouldn't even know what to say. "You don't have to not say anything." He sighs. "I guess I will just leave. I'll see you tomorrow." He could not leave like this.
"Wait! You can not just leave after saying everything you just did. If you think that your confession makes me forget why I'm mad at you, you're wrong. Did you mean all of that?"
"I meant what I just said way more than what I said to Cassidy."
"Then why are you still dating her? You're leading her on."
"Why are you dating Elliot?"
"I'm not dating Elliot!" I blurt out my secret before I can think of what I'm doing.
"What?" Austin's eyes fill with confusion.
"I only pretended to date Elliot." I look down at my feet. "I knew that the only way you would leave me alone is if you thought that I was happy with a boy." I look up at his face. "Elliot likes Cassidy so he wanted you to break up, he was convinced that you liked me and I guess that he was right."
"I can't believe you!" He turns his body slightly away from me.
"You can't possibly be mad at me! Don't forget about what you did!"
Austin turns back around to face me. "I said I was sorry!"
"That doesn't stop it from hurting any less! And if you hadn't set me up with Elliot in the first place none of this would be happening!"
"I have no regrets for setting you up with Elliot. If I hadn't then I wouldn't have realized that I liked you." His voice is low, his emotions coming through.
"Oh so the only reason you want me is because you thought that someone else had me? Very romantic Austin."
"The only reason you pretended to date that guy is because you were jealous of my relationship!"
I gasp loudly. I'm surprised that no one has come out here with as loud as were yelling. "I was not jealous! I'm not jealous! Why would I be jealous of a relationship where you don't trust each other!"
"Please, you know you wish that you were the one that got to go out on dates with me and kiss me."
I could feel tears coming on and I was not going to allow him to see me cry again. "Right now I want nothing to do with you." I start to walk away but he grabs my arm.
"You are not going to walk away from this. You're scared because you know that I'm right."
"I am not scared." I have to control the sob from coming out. "Please just let me go." I try to break from his grasp but he's too strong and I'm too weak.
"I'm not going to let you go until you tell me how you feel. You can't run away." It looks like were both about to cry.
"I feel like you're trying to kill me. I feel like you want me to cry."
"I don't want you to cry. I want you to admit how you feel about me."
"Austin I can't. Please don't make me do this." I'm biting my lip so hard to keep in the sob that's so close to coming out. I try to avoid his eyes but it's not working.
"For once in your life could you let some one in! I feel like crap about what I said. I have never felt this bad in my life. I know that you shouldn't forgive me because it was unforgivable, but I want to be there for you."
"You can't be there for me. I don't want you to be there for me. I want you to leave!" At this point I can't control the tears from coming out. We both ignore them.
"I can't leave you. Even if I wanted to I couldn't. You are imprinted into my mind." I swear I see a tear come from his eye.
"I don't know what you want from me."
"I want you to tell me that you feel feelings for me. Even if there small feelings. Just tell me that you want me like I want you. Tell me that you want to kiss me as much as I want to kiss you."
This was not how I wanted this to go. "I feel like I could have feelings for you. I feel like even though I'm incredibly mad at you, I still trust you. I trust you because you make me forget about everything. With you I'm not the quiet girl who grew up with out a mom. But I'm a girl who likes pickles and music. I'm a girl who has doubts about everything but not about you."
Were both breathing heavy. He's still holding my arm, but his grasp has weakened. I know that I could get away if I wanted to, but I didn't want to. He lifts my head so were looking into each others tear filled eyes. "Ally, can I kiss you?" Do I let him kiss me? Do I want my first kiss to be like this?
I nod slowly. I guess this is how I want it to be. He slowly leans in closer, lips get closer and closer to mine. Before they touch, I stop him.
"Wait." I step away from him. "Are you and Cassidy broken up?" I can't kiss him if he was still dating someone else. I know that they haven't by the way he looks down at his feet.
"You have got to be kidding me! You asked to kiss me when you're still dating another girl! That is low." I walk away from him, finally having enough.
"Wait! I'm going to, tomorrow!" He tries to stop me but I won't allow it.
"Don't. Stay with her. You two are meant to be." I open the front door and close it in his face.
Austin knocks on the door. "Please Ally, let me in." I'm leaning on the door, I know that he's doing the same thing on the other side. My tears block my view.
"Ally. Please. I just want to talk."
"Just go Austin. It's late. I don't want to wake my dad. Just go home." I say through my sobs.
"I can't leave when you're mad at me." I can hear the cries in his voice.
"If you stay I'm going to be even more mad. I need time."
He doesn't say anything after that. I know that he's gone when I don't hear his heavy breathing. A part of me really wanted to ask him to stay.
I stand with my back to the door a few moments, trying to control my breathing. I rush up stairs, and collapse on my bed. I have never cried this much or felt this emotionally drained in my life. If this was what being in love felt like I never wanted to be in love.
I am currently crying while typing this. I just want to hug poor Ally. Things will get better.
Dirtkid123- I'm not going to lie, after I finished laughing at your review, I watched High School Musical.
I'm glad that you guys liked the last chapter even though Austin was a major jerk. Things are changing quickly.
I need to work on my Summer homework but I'm to invested in writing this story.
Thank you so much for the reviews :) I hope you liked this chapter and it didn't make you cry to much. Please leave a review :)
Edited on September 13, 2014
I do not own Austin and Ally