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Chapter 5 Photorealism

He had four days. He shouldn't have been rushing but he couldn't wait or bare another minute without her. His spark ached within it's casing at the thought of finally seeing her again.

The smell of the air. The familiar buildings and houses. As he drove, these things brought back so many memories. Rays of the setting sun flickered across his golden form as he kept driving down the winding road. His holoform flickered to life for the fist time in a long time as he pulled the windows down. Peaceful, salty air blew past him and swirled within his cab easing any sort of tensions in his frame. His holoform took a deep breath of such air. He revved his engine going faster. A light smile appeared on his lips.

For the longest time this was once his home. His safe haven. It was once where he was stranded but soon became a source of peace. Such an opposite of what it originally was. The humans passed by on the streets at a lazy pace. The drivers remained ever impatient and rough but it brought a sort of familiarity.

Outside cafes, restaurants, the smell of exhaust, human food, and flowery perfumes. The low murmur of people talking as they walked by. Comforting. The feel of the smooth and then broken asphalt under his tires and the haze that swirled up from such heat.

All so comforting and relaxing. Nowhere was Diego Garcia this nice. And even he enjoyed the peaceful nights that the paradise base brought. But not as much as this.

The Cybertronian technology. N.E.S.T. His duty as a front line soldier. It was all forgotten as he settled into his surroundings eventually becoming one of the crowd: An occasional exotic car driven by a handsome young man.

Sunstreaker's engine picked up again as he turned the corner and lazily went down the all too familiar road. At the next turn he was at the top of the hill that overlooked the harbor and ocean beyond. The sun set made the water ablaze a golden red. The smog overhead muffled the brightness of the sun that shined ever so calmly over this part of the city. Through the clouds, the shining sun was just a hazy blur.

Slowly he went down the hill enjoying the scene and the memories from three years ago. His spark kept pulling as he came closer to the condo complex entrance. As he did, he slowed. He slowed down and realized.

He didn't know what to say or do when he would see her.

His brake lights illuminated as he parked near the entrance, thinking and perhaps waiting for the right time. Maybe to get his thoughts together. Maybe to form an excuse as to why it took him so long to come here. Correction, so many years. Anything to ease any pain that would come over them if no words were even said. There were too many 'what if's'. Too many scenarios that ran through his head.

He cut his engine and 'reshuffled' his holoform. A new outfit fragmented and came together with shards of light particles. Military fatigues gave way to dress jeans and a polo. Black hair that was pined up tight into a bun was now draped over his shoulders.

Sunstreaker opened his eyes when the process was complete and sat in the driver's seat more comfortably. He sat there looking out through the windshield seeing the same billboard that changed everything. By now, as he expected, it had changed to a different advertisement. Now for a certain brand of iced tea.

He looked away shaking his head in exasperation. He placed his hand on his forehead scrubbing it down his face.

It took so much courage and so much time to figure out what he was going to say or do. He turned his engine over and slowly pulled out of his parking spot and went into the development knowing by spark where she lived.

And then he pulled up.

Through all this time figuring and piecing together words, he still didn't know what to say or do.

Felicity didn't know exactly why or how she was brought to this. Maybe her heart had been hurting from her parents rejection. Or the simple fact she was still so very shaken from speaking to Sunstreaker yesterday.

What ever it was it came to this.

It had been tucked away in the depths of her bookcase. And now she was sitting in bed. Carefully, she flipped through the sketchbook Sunstreaker had restored. Ever since the phone call, the bond was so vague and distant. She could barely find it anymore. This was her only connection to him now. Maybe she was searching for some sort of comfort. Maybe this was her trip down memory lane where things were once so...simple. Maybe she just wanted to feel him again.

The early moonlight off of the ocean water reflected through her open window and into her bedroom. It was enough light to look at the sketch of when they were first drinking coffee in the café. Enough light to let a sort of calmness set over the room.

A desire came over her. An innocent desire where she could sit with him, just tease, and talk to him again. She gently brushed her fingers across the paper.

Felicity closed her eyes and imagined him sitting across from her, drawing and staring her down. She imagined his holoform behind her, holding her hand and steadying her paint brush.

She imagined his neutral expression. That sad tinge of pain glaring her down that she thought was more sad than scary. Only after she met him did she notice how much she took that pain away easing it into a softer and kinder curl of his lips.

Felicity imagined his true frame and his golden lithe form. So deadly and powerful yet so graceful and careful. His transformation so smooth and practiced with ease. He was beautiful in either form... Only now could she hear his engine rumble into the night.

A breeze from outside caused her hair to whip into her face. She glanced up at the window and draped the hair behind her ear slowly.

She paused. That sound.

It came from her window again. A disbelieved expression came to her face as she slowly got out of bed, her silk nightgown falling over her legs gracefully.

She placed her hands on the windowsill and leaned out. A gush of wind swept up her hair blocking her sight. She brushed it back just as she heard the engine roar from below.

And there it was.

No.

There he was.

Felicity widened her eyes before a great smile blossomed over her lips. "Oh my God..." She covered her mouth with one hand, turned away from the window and rushed to her front door. She could not believe it. Was it just wishful thinking? Was it just a normal Lamborghini sitting outside her home? She didn't want to guess. She wanted to find out for herself. Hurriedly she went down the stairs and opened the door that lead outside.

But in a rush she ran into something solid.

That something solid, let out a bark of surprise and caught her before they could both trip and fall. Felicity didn't look up as strong hands gripped her arms. She didn't look up as a small chuckle came from his throat. She didn't look up as she felt familiar long hair drape over her as he bowed his head and simply placed his forehead atop hers.

She closed her eyes clenching her jaw to hold back her tears. "Please, tell me I'm dreaming...I don't want this to be a trick.." She breathed her voice barely a whisper against the soft wind. "Please tell me..."

The person shook his head. Another shaky chuckle. He went silent, hands sliding down her arms to her hands where he gripped them so carefully and lightly.

She finally backed away keeping her eyes closed purposely. A disgruntled sound came form his throat as he placed his finger and thumb on her chin. Felicity's breath hitched in her throat at the gentle touch.

"Tell me." She opened her eyes tears pooling at the corner of her eyes. Immediately they met crystal blues.

Sunstreaker's voice was quiet and gentle. "I told you I would find a way."

Felicity's tears could no longer be held back. She started to cry. Little tiny relieved sobs. "You..you..." She stuttered blinking her eyes rapidly as she gazed upon Sunstreaker's face. Everything was just as she remembered him to be. Golden skin, sharp beautiful face, piercing blue eyes, strong and tall, and that long black hair that she loved so very much.

"Sunstreaker..." She pushed away his hand and hugged him close, so tightly, nuzzling her head against his strong chest and crying her little heart out.

The holoform raised his arms in surprised but soon relaxed placing them around her. "Why are you crying?" He asked. "Are you not happy to see me?"

Felicity suddenly backed away and slapped him across the face. "That's for never calling me and hanging up on me the other night." She did not yell but her jaw was clenched.

Sunstreaker rubbed his jaw and looked down at her. Hurt, anger, and maybe guilt crossed his expression. "Perhaps I deserved that."

Through tears her face twisted into annoyance and anger. "You're damn right you did." She blinked. She lost her aggression as he continued to look down at her with that same expression. "Of course I am happy to see you...just-just...overwhelmed."

Sunstreaker sighed lowering his hand from his face to hold Felicity close once again. She fought against him for a moment before she gave into his hold. It was strange for him to be the one to hold her closer. She closed her eyes.

"Enough to slap me?" He asked a slight teasing tone to his rumbling voice.

"Yes." She said her voice giving out.

Sunstreaker scoffed and continued right on as if he never asked the question. "I am also. These emotions confuse me. I need..." He took in a deep breath purely enjoying her pressed against him so nicely. So close and so whole. So perfect. "I need you. So much."

Felicity opened her eyes looking up to him without moving away. She smiled despite it all. "I need you too." She confessed quietly.

And upon her quiet voice his spark lept. He tried to understand such emotions within him but he pushed that aside. He was with Felicity now. Nothing else really mattered. But for a while they both stood at the front door simply hugging each other. Holding one another and savoring what it was once like to be this close to a solid being.

What it was like to be open and so vulnerable. It was nice. It was a breath of fresh air. So opposite of what he was while away from her.

Felicity was the first one who started to pull away. Reluctantly the holoform released his grip on her. "Do-do you want to come in?" Her voice was quiet as she gazed up at him.

He nodded his head once. "Of course."

She smiled. It was bright and cheerful. Like she was a little middle schooler inviting her friends in for a sleepover.

Felicity quickly turned on the lights so that the holoform could see his way up the stairs. "Um I think you're going to have to sleep outside for now. I sorta turned your room into this...mess."

Sunstreaker glanced around the room and cringed. "My room? Mess?" Oh that was an understatement. "Felicity..." He cringed at the said mess.

She spun around to face him. "I know it's bad right now but I promise it's not normally like this. I haven't had time to clean."

Sunstreaker tilted his head upon a metallic silver painting of flowers in a vase. Simple. Perhaps practice. "Commissions keeping you busy?"

"That's an understatement. Other businesses are trying to get their hands on that piece." She was easily speaking to him. But something in her voice was holding back. Careful. Tentative.

Sunstreaker flicked his eyes over to another painting. A Ferris wheel brightly lit in the night. It was purposely foggy and blurred.

Felicity smiled wistfully. "That's my favorite though. I always wanted to go to the boardwalk..." She sighed.

"Must be a hefty price for that one." He commented raising an eyebrow.

"Oh...yeah...not really. Five hundred."

"That's not bad."

She shrugged one shoulder. "Had better. I put a lot of time into that one."

Felicity started to go back up the stairs and turned off the light preventing Sunstreaker from looking at anymore works of art. Perhaps another time. He had four days after all. And he planned to spend it all with Felicity.

Felicity held the door open for him as he stepped into the living room. He looked around, a soft smile taking over his lips. "This place hasn't changed at all."

"Of course not." She smiled looking away. "You created it. It reminded me of you. I love coming home after a long day to this." She indicated the diamond patterned wall he had hand painted himself. "It's home."

He remained silent. That pained pull came from his spark again. He also didn't realize how she was watching him carefully. Finally the mech looked over to her, hair flowing over his shoulder. "What?"

"Sunny...why are you here?" She asked quietly and tentatively. That tone. It was in her voice again.,

His eyebrows knitted in hurt and confusion. "Because of you."

Her heart jumped at that. "No, no, I should rephrase that. Why did N.E.S.T. let you go? This shouldn't be allowed. It isn't allowed." She corrected herself.

He flinched. Leave time was not allowed. Not when Ironhide was around or that other human for a fact. He sighed evenly. "Ratchet. He helped me. Well, It was a coincidence really. I asked him to cover for me while I visited you. I am running an 'errand' for him."

"Really? He would do that for you? For us?" She smiled. If she ever saw the Cybertronian medic again she was going to hug his thumb or ankle for this.

"Yes, I received the N.E.S.T. transportation treatment and all. Even though it is for a short time, it's worth it." Every moment with her was worth it.

"Short time? How short is short?" She played with her hands nervously and Sunstreaker saw this.

His eyes softened and he couldn't fight the urge to step forward and hold them within his. "Four days." He mumbled. "And I plan on spending every moment of it with you." He confessed quietly while looking down to the ground shyly.

Felicity's heart felt like it had been electrocuted. Struck by lightning. With her? "You went through all of this to-to be with me?" A lump got caught in her throat as she looked up to him.

Sunstreaker was on autopilot. He looked up from the ground and down to her, his eyes softening. He couldn't control the words that came forth from his mouth. "Your voice...last night. What you went through without-. It made me make my final decision. Threw all doubts to the wind. You have no idea how much it pained me to be away from you for this long. How many nights I felt you...though the dormant bond."

She cringed upon the reminder of her parents. Her voice was unintentionally breathy. "Not so dormant...huh? That was you...all those nights. All those late nights. That strange-"

"No. Don't." He shook his head. He didn't want to speak of anything terrible. Nothing about /that/. Those memory lapses. She wouldn't know of such things of his past.

"Sunny?" She gazed up into his eyes. They were so very close...

And then he realized such a thing. He pulled away slowly. "It was me."

She ignored the hurt that came along with his movement. "But that pain...are you alright? Don't tell me this is a last goodbye!" She yelled.

Sunstreaker knitted his eyebrows in confusion. "No!" He huffed. "The pain...is normal."

"I know when you lie."

"Must you be this troublesome?"

Felicity scoffed. "Must you always ruin the moment?" She mocked, backed away, and let his hands go. "There's more to this picture Sunstreaker. There's so much more. You're not just here to see me. And a phone call was not your breaking point. Something else." There was that careful tone again. The same before. Broken moment indeed. And she sorta thanked him for that. Her heart and stomach were doing flip flops.

"Can you just take it as it is? Forget about the excess? I'm here because I want to be." He lied. Somewhat. He was seeking her to fix him. Seeking her healing hands. How they pieced him back together before and perhaps they would once again. Seeking her.

"And I'm here yelling at you because I know better." She pouted crossing her arms over her chest.

He watched as her slightly longer hair had curtained her face so perfectly. How her body has been sustained throughout the years. She was still oh so beautiful. Just the same as he met her. A soft smile came to his lips knowing her stubbornness matched his. It was gentler. Not so loud as his.

But was it beautiful. Made him give into her.

"Do you now?"

Felicity uncrossed her arms and straightened her dress straps over her shoulders feeling his gaze upon her. "Yes." She turned away before she could say anything else. Anything else that would slip her mouth. She heading to the kitchen. A pot of hot water that was boiled a bit before was placed on the burner once again. A black large mug was placed nearby.

He watched her movements. It didn't even feel like three years had passed. Not when he was with her. Not right now. He tilted his head as she placed loose tea leaves in a tea diffuser.

He tilted his head. Black locks fell over his shoulder. "A new blend?"

She shook her head. "Not really, It has more chamomile in it. Less spearmint. I get it from Mr. Lombardi's wife. She likes her teas too."

At this new name he stiffened. "Mr. Lombardi?" His voice was borderline growled.

She nodded her head. "He's been my adopted father." He shrugged "He's the one that got my painting business going. Very kind man, Italian. Owns a restaurant. His wife is the sweetest cursing madame you will ever meet." She smiled. "You'll meet him soon enough I bet."

The woman took the kettle off of the whistling stove and poured the water into the mug. Immediately the smell he missed so much, A smell that reminded him of her so much wafted throughout the room. It made his nerves in his frame relax.

She made her way over to the couch and sat. She peered up to him while she took a sip of her drink. "Sit." She nodded to the spot next to her. "You don't need to be so stiff. Make yourself at home. Might as well if you're going to be my roommate for a few days." She joked weakly.

Sunstreaker rounded the couch and sat down next to her. Carefully and yet gracefully he sat leaning back into the crisp leather. She took another sip of her tea. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply before exhaling.

"You're nervous."

She opened her eyes and swallowed. "A little bit. Its like talking to a sassy wall." She said with a shrug. "A troublesome sassy wall."

Sunstreaker pursed his lips at this. "I will admit. I am nervous also. Being away from you for so long. I do not know what to expect, how to act. What to say."

"Don't expect anything. Don't act, just be for the love of Primus, just speak." She said curtly. "Just move on. Carry on like we've been friends forever. Carry on like we've been talking for more than three years. Just be." She said staring at the ground. "I'm tired of this awkwardness."

"You're hurt. I understand, Felicity. I understand..."

She bared her teeth before pressing them into a firm expression. "For many reasons, Sunstreaker."

He slid closer to her. "Tell me."

She ignored his slow movement. "It would have been nice if you called before you came. I'm a mess right now."

"No you're not." Again he slid closer to her.

"You and I both know that's a lie. You heard what they did to me. You know what they called me. Her hand shifted around the mug in her hands nervously.

"False. All of it."

"They are blood."

"Doesn't matter."

"You're here. Its so confusing to what I should be feeling."

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

He took her mug out of her hands and guided them to his face leaning into the warm flesh. He brought his other hand around her and pulled her close. "We're together."

Felicity widened her eyes as her head was guided to his strong chest. Underneath, a fake heartbeat pounded. She sighed shakily at the contact. So warm, caring, and lovely. "Can you fix me? Can we fix us?" She joked.

He did not joke back. "I'll find a way." He murmured. The holoform shifted her into his arms and started to slowly lay down on the couch. His body curled around hers so tightly and protectively against the back of the couch. Numbly, hazel eyes looked into crystal blues.

"Promise me?"

"In these few short days, I will make up all those years of pain you had felt without me. The pain I had felt without you. It will be nothing. Not now. I want to just be us. Nothing else..."

Felicity raised her hand and brushed it down his cheek. "Nothing else." She whispered so quietly.

Sunstreaker closed his eyes bowing his head against her. In return she did the same. Her breath caught so many times as he shifted and held her. The warmth and the safety. The wonderful sensations she felt with him. It had to be a dream. All of this.

He was gone for so long. But here was here. Now. And what he said. It soon became her own mantra. She found herself stroking her hands through his hair in no particular pattern. She found herself tangling her legs with his. Her mind was becoming a feathery light haze.

And it did become the confusing nothing he was speaking about. So confusing to describe. Because it was just them. For now it would be just them. Us. We.