A/N: Hey there guys and gals, Archimedies here with the next story in this...Story. Welp, that sentance was trash. But not as trash as this ship! *Finger guns* But yeah. Thanks again to Koniax for suggesting this ship, this time JaneXDave. And, just so you know miss Hyasen, I am perfectly fine with pale ships as well. I apologise in advance if I don't do them justice though, as I've just had a lot more experiance with matespirit ships. But anyway! For everyone else, if you have a ship you want me to, be it a fluffy matespirit, a bromance packed pale Moirallegiance, or and especially angsty Kissmesitude, drop them in the reviews or a PM along with a situation, or if you don't have one, I can try and come up with one. Rest assured it will get done, just with varying urgency depending on how much I manage to procrastinate. I will do it though, so don't be shy!

Story 10: Splatterhouse.

Dave kicked the front door to their apartment open. Or attempted to, forgetting it was quite sturdily locked. Instead, he just pushed himself away from it, slamming himself into the door opposite, and clattering the paint cans against it. He heard a giggle beside him.

"Nice one"

"Pftt. I meant to do that, had to give you some space to unlock the door"

He readjusted his shades, and Jane walked into his view. She too was carrying a couple of cans of paint, and was dressed like a DIY dream. Hip hugging jeans, a light blue "Welcome to Rapture" tee, and a pair of heavy duty boots.

"Oh sure you did. And I meant to fall for you"

"...Hmm. I don't know how to react to that"

"You shouldn't"

She gave him a coy smile, and put the cans on the ground, pulling her keys from a pocket, and unlocking the door. She picked up the cans, and shoved the door open with her shoulder, striding through into the apartment. Heh.

Dave hefted the cans, and followed her, quite unashamedly following the sway of her hips. He lay the paint down on the ground, and just stood there and stared for a second.

"Hello? The other cans?"

"Oh shit, right...It was a dramatic pause?"

"Course it was Dave"

"..."

"Cans?"

"Shit, right"

He hurried away, and began ferrying cans back and forth, as Jane went into her wardrobe and pulled out two aprons she'd bought a few days ago. He brought the last few tins in, and clapped his hands together, looking around at their apartment. It wasn't huge, but their combined incomes, Dave's from his radio hosting, and Jane's from the family bakery, they'd managed to get a pretty highclass apartment in the near middle of town. Like he'd said, it wasn't massive, but it did contain a large common area, a kitchen, and a pair of bedrooms. It was fairly expensive, but it was very much worth it. The only real misgiving they had was the very drab grey colour upon every wall. But they were about to change that.

"Ok Dave, where do you want to start?" He turned, and was enveloped by an apron thrown at his face. He pulled it off, and shoved his head through, tying the strings around his waist.

"Well, we should probably start with the common room. It'll take the longest, after all"

Jane grinned at him, and pulled a set of brushes from behind her back with a flourish. They had already set down sheeting on all the floors in preparation. He took a brush from her, smiling, and they turned to regard the common room.

"So...What colour you thinking Janey?"

And so an hour of their time was taken up "discussing" the colour they were to paint the common room . Or rather, arguing about it rather passionately.

"It should be a sky blue! It'd look nice!"

"And I'm not arguing against that. I'm just saying, that'd look nice. But light red? Almost pink but not quite? That'd be absolutely ill"

"Yes, ill. As in, vomit inducing. It'd be terrible!"

"Oh, now that's just mean. You've wounded me Janey. Wounded me"

"And I'm fine with that. As long as you aren't painting anything pink!"

"Almost pink! And that is what I am going to paint"

He grabbed two cans, and stood. Only to feel a heavy splatter against his chest. He looked down to see a line of blue sprayed across his apron. He glanced up to see Jane posed, holding a brush soaked in baby blue paint.

"Oh. My god. I can't believe you've done this"

Jane smirked, and crossed her arms. "You'd better. Blue!"

She turned round, and bent over to pick up her own can. Dave popped the lid on his, and dipped a brush in, lifting and taking careful aim.

Jane gasped with indignation as she felt something splatter across the seat of her jeans. She shot upright, and gave an angry "hrmph". She put a hand to her backside, and it came away almost pink. But not quite.

"Alright! If that's how you want to do it!" She slopped up a large amount on her brush, and globbed it at him, splattering it across his stomach.

"Oh, honey. It's on!"

She grinned at him. "You know it is. So...Loser has to paint the apartment, the winners colour?"

"Fuckin deal, Janey. Get ready. I'm about to bring the paint"

"That joke was terrible"

"Rah!"

He leapt at her, a second brush appearing in his other hand, and Jane readied hers.

In the future, (the weekend after) legends (Dave) would tell of the great battle that befell them that day. There was sniping from one side of the room to the other, tense close range action, and brutal hand to hand fighting, that raged for the better part of a century, (About an hour). The only other witness to this Dirk, who opened the door to check on them, and stumbled upon a warzone. Jane had straddled Dave, and both were covered in sprays and splatters of paint. Dave had a pair of hand prints on the side of his face and his neck, along with a lipstick smear straight across his lips, while Jane bore a pair of very conspicious handprints across the seat of her trousers, in a colour that was almost pink. But not really. Kind of a salmon colour.

"Dave, what the fuck is this"

Dirk stepped into the apartment, and looked around. The walls were splattered not just with red and blue, but a couple of dozen other colours too.

"Oh shit. That's actually pretty good. Welp, I'm just here to make sure you did your apartment. Since you seem to have done that..." He looked down on them. "I'm out"

He disappeared out the door, and shut it quietly behind him.

Jane looked down at Dave, still panting from the struggle that had ended up with them in this position.

"So..."

Dave grinned at her. Somewhere in the brutal conflict he'd lost his glasses, and now his crimson eyes stared up at her.

"So"

"Seems there's not really anything left to paint. We seem to have covered it as collateral"

"We certainly did. Drone struck the shit out of it"

He made to sit up, but Jane pushed him back down.

"And yet, you seem to have ended up as quite the prisoner of war. And I have yet to collect my dues"

She leaned down to him. Dave squirmed beneath her.

"Hey, you can't do this. There's a convention for it! It's sole purpose is so you can't do stuff like this! The other world powers will have your head!"

Jane gave him a coy little smile, which was simultaneously terrified and excited him.

"They don't need to know. I'll make like north Korea, and shut it all down..."

"...Just for the night"

And so she did. And nobody heard a thing.

Apart from, possibly, the neighbours.