Deadpool: Bustin' Balls
Milestone Chapter 10: Iron Maiden-China
Deadpool's encounter with Tony Stark turned deadly when he was knocked out. How will he get out of this mess?
"Hey don't fall unconcious while pretty boy over here is trying to kick our ass." Brain communicated with his unconcious self.
"But how the hell do you beat an asshole like Stark!? He's got money, women, and deadly weapons that would make the Al Simmons..." Deadpool was interupted by one of the nerds in the resteraunt poking him with a fork... or at least what Deadpool considers a nerd.
"Come on Deadpool my man wake up! You can't just lie down like a sack of potatoes at a lying down convention for potatoes!" The nerd said.
"One Hell of a Night? How'd you get here? Also what's up with the light green sports coat, white undershirt, red tie, and hair that looks like Tsukune Aono in a wind tunnel?"
"Good you did my job for me. Anyway Deadpool I make a lot of money off of you...okay maybe not. Point is you have to give these people what they want; a fight between you and Stark. You've been away for a while mate and I think it's time you made a comeback! So are you just going to sit here like the afore-mentioned sack..."
"...Lol you said sack...!"
"...or will you fight like a man and take your honor and fan girls back?"
"Well I hope you like DooM Tony...BECAUSE I'M ABOUT TO RIP AND TEAR YOUR GUTS!"
With that Deadpool grabbed two shoulder-mounted machine guns and ran off into the starry night in search of Stark! There goes our boy gentlemen, the greatest Marvel character! (Previous sentence was written by Deadpool).
"This is so cool! This is when we finally get our moment to shine in the spotlight! No more furry midgets to boss us around!" Brain said happily
Deadpool then took a giant leap into the air and glided through it like some sort of Bat..man.
"Yeah there's only one problem though..." Deadpool said
"What's that?"
"...I don't know where Stark is and we're about a mile up in the air..."
"...shit..."
Deadpool began a looonnnggg fall down towards the cold, hard ground.
"Oh dear, this isn't good!" Brain calmly remarked
"Wait I think I might have a parachute!" Deadpool rummaged through all of his fourth dimensional pockets to find one but couldn't find anything.
"Looks like the fourth wall needs to re-stock it's inventory of parachutes."
"I hate Fourth Wall Amazon..."
With that Deadpool's body made a digusting sounding "SPLAT!" on the street below him.
"Deadpool...you need to stop not really dying." Death called out to him.
"Oh my bone girl if only I could! For alas the worst of fates has been put upon me! An experement so tragic, it could only be described as Weapon X! Woe is me! I carry the deepest burden and despair and...*sniff,sniff*...is that...pancakes and C4 I smell!? Babe how did you know?" Deadpool asked his one true love (d'aww isn't that just adorable!?)
"Yes they are Deadpool, however I can't give them for you until you truly die."
"No! Damn it Wade! Come on bone mama you know I likes my pancakes and C4!"
"I'm sorry but I needed to give you some more motivation. I really want you to die so we can be together."
"I'll try my best. Wait, does that mouth present still apply as well?"
"Yes of course. Now off you go darling. Your healing factor is taking you back. Next time I see you I want you to be truly dead."
With that Deadpool returned to his body (machine guns still in tow) and attempted to get up. When he got onto his feet he immediatley began running again.
"There it is! It's the falloc Stark tower! In all of it's fantastically falloc glory!" Deadpool said as the building appeared in the distance.
"Well that's one inuendo out of the way." Brain remarked
"Haha! In..YOUR...ENDO!"
"Okay make that two..."
"Dude, I didn't know you were into that sort of thing..."
"Last time I checked, WE'RE NOT! Now keep going we're nearly there."
Like Brain said Deadpool was merley a foot away from the Stark building when all of a sudden...
"I knew you would come here..." A voice said over the PA system.
Like that Tony Stark in his Iron Man armor rammed into Deadpool at a ferocious speed. Deadpool was being rammed into several buildings at a time and he was struggling to get out of Stark's grip.
"I got it! HEY IRON ASS!"
"What?"
"Do you like the Super Nintendo?"
"Yes...why?"
"Because *ahem*, Mario isa gonna paint your ass! Woo-hoo!"
Deadpool managed to take out his red latex paint and sprayed Stark's eye holes with it.
"Always got to keep a costume repair method around." Deadpool said as Stark let him out of his grip.
The two of them landed in a feild outside of the city. The wind was blowing fast and was at a very freezing temperature. The anti-hero and avenger looked at one another dead in the eye. They both breathed heavily and looked about as pissed as they could be. Then Stark began to rush at Deadpool. Then Deadpool began to run at Stark, only Deadpool had a sort of pink trail flowing behind him...
"Powerpuff swag..." Deadpool said as the two clashed. The clash was so powerful that it made a shockwave about half the size of the area they were standing in.
"You've got some nerve trying to assassinate me. But I didn't expect you to come and attack me head on." Stark said to Deadpool, clash still holding.
"Yeah you did, that's why we ended up here! Geez where's yo short term memory at?"
Then the two started throwing punch after punch at eachother. Faces bruised, mouthes filled with blood, bones shattered (mostly inside of Deadpool but I digress), and balls busted.
"How are we even surviving his attacks?" Brain asked
"The one thing that can save anyone's ass. LAZY WRITING and The pure power of DAN GREEN!" Deadpool yelled out in somewhat excitement.
"Remember Deadpool, I will always be Yugi Moto!" Dan Green's voice echoed in Deadpool's head.
"DAANNNN GREEENNNN POWWWEERRSSS AAAATTT MAAAXXXIMMUMMM POOOOWWEEERRRR!" Deadpool said redundantly as he punched Tony Stark in the jaw. "ALSO SHORYUKEN!"
With that crippiling punch Iron Man fell to the ground with a massive *THUD!*. His eye socket lights went out and his suit went back into his bloodstream.
"I don't undertsand. How were you able to beat me?" Tony weakly asked.
"Because of master Dan Green Samma!" Deadpool said as he raised his sword up into the air. "ROLL CREDITS WE'RE DONE HERE!"
Written, Directed and Totally Planned Out By:
DEADPOOL!
"NO! NO NO NO NO NO!" OHoAN interviend.
"What are you talking about!?" Deadpool askes.
"You still need to die to be with death!"
"...Oh yeah..."
END OF THE MILESTONE CHAPTER THINGY!
OHoAC:
THANK GOD THIS CHAPTER IS DONE! THIS IS THE LONGEST CHAPTER I HAVE WRITTEN FOR THIS STORY SO FAR! Okay let me calm down a bit and just cool off. I hope you all like this chapter and I hope this is a good apology for focusing more on Deadpooling than this. I mean this is my very first fic under the OHoAN name and I can't thank you guys enough for your continuing support and reads. So stay cool for now ladies and gents and I'll see you next time on DEADPOOL BUSTING BALLS!