Dear Voldemort,
Hello! Gred and Forge here! We would like to invite you to visit our joke shop, Weasley's Wizard Wheezes! Have a nice day!
Fred and George Weasley
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Dear Weasley and Weasley,
… Is this a joke?
Lord Voldemort
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Dear Voldemort,
Of course it is! What else do we do? Still, it would be nice if you would visit our shop. We hear you're rich.
Fred and George Weasley
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Dear Weasley and Weasley,
Right. If I visited your shop, you would kill me.
Lord Voldemort
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Dear Voldemort,
Oh. Right. Still, what about mail order? We have fantastic things that could help you with your awesome evilness!
Fred and George Weasley
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Dear Weasley and Weasley,
You two are a whole big barrel of suck-ups. 'Awesome evilness'? You totally want me to buy your products!
Lord Voldemort
P.S. And, as sad as I am to admit this, it worked. Please send my catalog to the nearest Death Eater. Thank you.
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Dear Voldemort,
Sure thing. Now, then… on to business ideas… do you think that if you use one of our products when you are performing your plans, could you put up a sign that says 'Products by Weasley's Wizard Wheezes'?
Fred and George Weasley
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Dear Weasley and Weasley,
Wouldn't people think you support me then?
Lord Voldemort
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Dear Voldemort,
We guess you're right. Still, if anyone asks where you got the awesome stuff, you know whom to credit.
Fred and George Weasley
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Dear Weasley and Weasley,
Fine. You know, I think you two actually might be saner than your brother.
Lord Voldemort
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Dear Voldemort,
Us? More sane than Ron? WOW! That's a first! Why do you say that?
Fred and George Weasley
P.S. …Is that a compliment? We're not sure.
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Dear Weasley and Weasley,
You might not take it as one, but coming from me it is. Your brother and Potter and Granger and all of them, they're all CRAZY! You actually have a business and are making something out of yourselves.
Lord Voldemort
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Dear Voldemort,
Fine, thanks then. But… isn't trying to defeat the most evil wizard of all time 'making something out of yourselves'? We think so.
Fred and George Weasley
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Dear Weasley and Weasley,
Maybe, but not in my book. Them trying to defeat me makes me rather sad, actually.
Lord Voldemort
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Dear Voldemort,
You have feelings like a girl.
Fred and George Weasley
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TBC…
Sorry for the delay, I was very busy. Hope you enjoyed this, it was the most requested person to be next: hope it was satisfying! Who should be next? Review!