I know you are all ready to stone me, so here is the final chapter...there will be an epilogue after this, but this is basically the end of the road. Thanks everyone for reading and reviewing
Chapter 10 – Sic Semper Tyrannis
"Goddammit, Ashley, open your eyes."
The voice was demanding and forceful and she had no desire to meet its request. Even if it had been sugary sweet she wouldn't have listened, she realized. Her body was floating, a pleasant warmth surrounding her and in all reality she wasn't even aware of what was going on. Her thoughts were incoherent, her physical state, though pleasant, was confusing and for the longest time she felt like she was missing something.
"I know you can hear me, don't play dead. Come on, Ashley," the voice interrupted her again and if she could have, Ashley would have frowned.
Why was that voice so familiar? What was the unease settling in the pit of her stomach? There was something she had to do, something incredibly important, but it was so much nicer where she was. Ashley. The voice knew her name and used it so familiarly, yet she innately knew she did not like hearing it. Why did the voice insist on tearing her from this place where she was warm and happy? The voice sounded sad.
Ashley felt a sudden stab of pain somewhere deep inside of her at the thought and tried to push it away. The cold feeling that suddenly descended upon her threatened to pull her away from her safe place. It was like a light had been turned on without warning and she felt blinded, even though her eyes were closed. Her senses slowly returned, one by one. The haze surrounding her mind faded away and Ashley became acutely aware of a cacophony of noises that surrounded her. Her whole body was made of lead and no matter how hard she tried, she could not move a muscle. The more aware she became of her body, the greater was the pain she felt coursing through her leg.
She tried to assess her situation, the pain, the rough linen she felt under her fingertips, a warm hand over hers, the jumble of voices in the background, the antiseptic smell. Ashley realized she was in a hospital. The rest of the memories descended upon her a split-second later and the brunette desperately wanted to return to her safe place. No, she wanted to die. She wanted to leave. If she stayed here, she'd have no escape from the barrage of memories, from the images of blood and Spencer...
Ashley forced her eyes open in desperation, a groan escaping her extremely dry throat. The light in the white hospital room was blinding, but she defiantly refused to close her eyes again. Never again. She felt her hand twitch and turned her eyes to the side. For just a second, when she saw the blonde hair and blue eyes through her blurry vision, she thought she'd had a horrible dream, that she'd imagined everything, but when her eyes cleared, the dread settled in her body.
A sob escaped her, rattling her heavy chest and tears immediately filled her eyes. The hand covering hers squeezed gently and Ashley looked down. The tears spilled over. Her throat burned, even more from trying to hold in the sobs, but she ignored the cup being handed to her.
"Ashley," Paula said softly, wishing the brunette would just look at her. She held out a cup of water to the girl, but Ashley hardly paid her any attention. "Would you just drink something? I know your throat is killing you, stop being so stubborn."
Clenching her jaw, Ashley pulled her hand away and attempted to cross her arms, only to find an IV needle taped to her right. She had no idea how long she'd been here. No idea how long it had been since Josh had taken her will to live. Risking a quick glance at Paula, Ashley pushed herself up and tried to swing her legs over the side of the bed. The pain that exploded in her leg only stopped her momentarily and, biting her lower lip, Ashley tried to move again. The IV pulled at her arm and she was about to yank it out when Paula stopped her.
"[b]What[/b] do you think you're doing?"
Ashley didn't meet her eyes, looking down her at her shaking hands, "I want to be with Spencer." She swallowed hard at the lump in her throat and angrily blinked the tears away.
Paula shook her head, pushing the brunette back against the cushions, "You can't, they're not done, yet."
Looking defiantly into the blonde woman's eyes, Ashley scoffed, "What could they possibly have to do that's more important?"
All she wanted was to see Spencer, just one last time, just so she could remember. Pictures had never done justice to what she saw in the blonde, it had never just been about physical beauty. Love was different than lust and Ashley knew with her entire being she could never feel that kind of love for anyone else again. She sniffed and impatiently wiped the tears away.
Paula remembered the last time she'd seen Ashley like this and the eerie similarities of the circumstances made her queasy. She sat on the edge of the hospital bed, covering the brunette's hand with her own once again. "It's not an easy surgery, Ashley, they'll let us know as soon as they're done."
Ashley nodded absently, but her head snapped up abruptly when she realized what Paula had said, "What?"
Frowning, the blonde woman looked at her daughter-in-law. The brunette had been unconscious for a while after all, maybe she had hit her head or was still foggy from the anesthesia, but the sudden gleam in the brown eyes made Paula wonder. If she was to admit it, the empty look in Ashley's eyes when she'd finally woken up had scared her a little. "Spencer's in surgery, they have to fix...Ashley, what's wrong?"
All blood had drained from the brunette's face and a sudden wave of nausea washed over her. A buzzing sounded in her ears and she had to pull herself together hard to keep the blackness away. She looked away from her shaking hands and met the blue eyes, her voice raspy as she spoke, "Spencer's...alive?"
"Yes, of course. They didn't tell you?" Paula answered softly, voice trailing off at the end. She was about to continue, when Ashley once again moved to get out of her bed.
"I have to go see her," Ashley said, pushing the pain and dizziness to the back of her mind as she tried to get off the bed. She hadn't even realized how empty she had felt until she was whole again and she never again wanted to feel like that again. She had to see it with her own eyes, she couldn't risk Paula being wrong.
Paula once again stopped her, realizing suddenly that Ashley had thought Spencer was dead all this time. The thought actually pained and she finally understood the emptiness in the brown eyes she'd seen before. She put both her hands on Ashley's shoulders, partially to keep her still and partially to get the girl to look at her, "She's okay, Ashley. You can see her soon, but you need to rest for a while. You lost a ton of blood; the bullet nicked the femoral artery and they had to do surgery to repair it. You're incredibly lucky."
Ashley frowned and rubbed a shaky hand across her forehead, before meeting Paula's eyes again, "It wasn't luck. Spencer saved my life. I...I have to see she's okay...with my own eyes. Please, Paula? I don't care how."
Sighing heavily, the older woman finally nodded. She knew from experience Ashley would not let up and take care of herself until she was sure Spencer was safe and sound.
* * *
Perhaps Paula had been right and she wasn't 100%, but Ashley would never admit it. She sat in an uncomfortable wheelchair under a heap of blankets, trying to fight the urge to remove the itchy IV tube still in her arm that ran to a bag on a hook above her head. Her head swam, her hands were trembling slightly, eyes and throat burning, not to mention the dull, throbbing pain in her right thigh. But Ashley didn't care about any of that, all that mattered to her was behind the giant windows before her. Being famous definitely had its perks, including being able to convince the hospital administrator to allow her into the OR observation room.
She felt movement next to her and turned to look at Paula, who took a seat in the chair by her side. Ashley hadn't really thought about much of anything since waking up, really her mind was just now beginning to clear enough to form thoughts beyond 'Be with Spencer', and she noticed for the first time how tired the woman looked. Paula's face was pale and drawn, maybe not to the extent that Ashley's was, but it was easy to see how much she had been worrying, despite assuring the brunette everything was fine.
"Everything went well, Dr. Foreman will be in to talk to us in a bit," Paula explained and leaned back in the chair. She exhaled deeply, feeling the weight lift off her shoulders. She had tried not to show how worried she was, especially for Ashley's sake, but in all reality she had been terrified.
The phone call would stick in her memory forever, a grim reminder of what she had almost lost, again. It had been the third, and, counting Ashley, the fourth time that someone had informed her one of her children had been shot. She'd wondered once again what kind of crime her family had committed in a past life to be subject to such tragedy, but now, after being informed of Spencer's condition, she wondered who was looking out for them. After they'd lost Clay that fateful night, and had almost lost Spencer, they'd all grown closer somehow, like they all knew the possibilities.
She'd gotten the call, from Ashley's bodyguard ten minutes before the news had the story, and then from the hospital five minutes after CNN interrupted their regular nonsense for breaking news. She wasn't sure how, but the bodyguard, Leon, had arranged a seat for her on some businessman's private jet and Paula had been in Seattle shortly after finding out about the shooting. She thought about Arthur, who'd still been at work, but she felt better after she just talked to him and Anthony a few minutes ago. They were already packing.
"Spencer will be okay," she said, as much for her own benefit as for the silent brunette's by her side.
Ashley nodded, not quite convinced by the simple statement. She'd seen Josh shoot Spencer, she'd seen the blood, she'd touched the blonde's lifeless body; she wasn't going to be convinced so easily that Spencer was okay. People didn't get shot in the head and lived and they certainly didn't do it twice. Maybe they'd made a mistake and this wasn't Spencer at all. After all, all they could really see in the OR were a ton of green-robed surgeons and nurses, bright lights and a mostly covered patient, as well as some blonde hair. A lot of people had blonde hair.
Fighting down the nausea, Ashley turned to Paula, "How did you get here so fast anyway?"
Paula averted her eyes from the OR, thankful for a distraction that allowed her to not watch the surgeons stitching up her daughter's head. Unlike Ashley, she wasn't worried about a mix-up, but despite being a doctor, she had never been able to stomach watching her children in pain or injured. She looked at the brunette, noticing how tired the girl looked, but at least some color had returned to her incredibly pale face. "I suppose having a famous daughter-in-law will get you from LA to Seattle in less than three hours."
Ashley frowned, "How long was I out?"
"A few hours definitely, you were already in your room when I got here. You know, since both you and Spencer were unconscious, they needed me to give permission for the surgeries. You didn't tell me you gave me your medical power of attorney."
Sporting a slight grimace, the girl shrugged, turning back towards the large windows to watch the nurses finally move the bed, "Only if Spencer can't do it; I just figured it'd be better to have someone who understands all that medical mumbo jumbo anyway."
Before Paula could respond, the door to their right opened and a young, black man in green scrubs stepped through. He smiled mildly at them and took a seat across from the two women; Ashley hoped he wasn't a fan, she just wasn't in the mood to deal with a nervous or overly excited idiot. He nodded at Paula, then looked at Ashley, who wished she wasn't sitting in this damn wheelchair, all weak and pale. She didn't like looking stupid.
"Ms. Davies, I'm Dr. Foreman, your wife's neurosurgeon. She's being moved to the recovery room as we speak, so you'll be able to see her shortly," the doctor began, his voice steady and even and Ashley decided she didn't hate him.
"So, Spencer's alive? She's going to make it through?" Ashley asked, the dread filling her again. They'd been so damn lucky last time, there wasn't enough luck in the world to save Spencer again. Someone had to hold a giant grudge against them, to do this to them again, after seven years.
Dr. Foreman looked at her weirdly for a moment, before shaking his head, "Yes, of course, she's completely fine, well for the circumstances. She lost a good amount of blood and has a pretty bad concussion; she might need some additional physical therapy to help with the renewed injury to that area, but that's nothing she shouldn't overcome. "
Ashley narrowed her eyes and wondered why he was lying to her. She'd seen with her own eyes, the blood, the bullet hole, Spencer unconscious and not fine. "I saw him shoot her in the head, I saw the blood with my own eyes. How can you just tell me she's fine?" her voice was raspy again and she fought against the tears.
He took a deep breath and exhaled, leaning forward onto his knees. Truthfully, it was just as unbelievable to him as to the girl before him and if he hadn't seen it with his own eyes, he'd never believe it either. The chances were probably one in the billions; he figured someone had to be seriously looking out for these two. Dr. Foreman met the brunette's eyes intently, before continuing, "The bullet did impact the forehead and cause some tissue damage, and as you might know, head wounds tend to bleed excessively. However, the bullet was stopped by the titanium plate that was used during the previous surgery, it fragmented harmlessly without penetrating bone. We had to replace the titanium plate, and a plastic surgeon stitched up the skin injured by the bullet, but the damage to the brain was minimal. Like I said, she suffered a concussion from the impact, which might cause her peripheral weakness or the seizures to worsen some, but the brain should be able to heal itself in this case. Spencer is incredibly lucky."
It wasn't that she thought he was lying, it was just that what he had said was so incredibly impossible, that her first reaction was to have him fired. Ashley narrowed her eyes and stared at the man, "You're obviously so attached to your job, you feel the need to lie to me. I'm not stupid, I know the odds of that happening are..."
Dr. Foreman interrupted the brunette, not wanting her to get the impression he was making up miracles, "One in a billion, probably, I know. Believe me, we were just as shocked, this is quite extraordinary. But that plate saved her life, without it there's no doubt in my mind that a shot from that range would have been fatal."
Ashley grasped the rails of the wheelchair and leaned back heavily, eyes staring at the ceiling. She blinked the tears away and chuckled softly. At this point in time she probably owed someone a favor of gigantic proportions. The irony of the situation certainly didn't pass her by, nor the weirdness, and if she'd been even a smidge religious she might have considered this a miracle. Well, it certainly was a miracle, in its very own way.
* * *
The light in the room was a soft orange, dim enough to not bother her already burning eyes. It was silent at least, a glass wall and sliding door separated the small room from the busier corridor outside. The blinds and curtains were drawn and she wasn't even sure what time of day it was. All she knew was that they'd been here way too long. The steady beeping off to the side was a familiar sound to her and as much as she hated it, it at least kept her calm. She sighed and uncrossed her arms, leaning back against the pillows uncomfortably.
Ashley reached down by her side and grasped Spencer's left hand in hers, bringing it across her chest. She shifted slightly to be able to look down at the, still unconscious, blonde. They'd wrapped her head in a ton of gauze and bandages and some bruises were already starting to form along the girl's forehead and right eye. The brunette remembered how much Spencer complained last time about looking like a raccoon and she grinned. Hearing the whooshing sound of the door opening, she looked up and managed a rueful smirk at the look on Paula'sf ace.
"Ashley," the woman sighed, exasperation clearly evident in her voice. It was apparently impossible to leave her 24-year-old daughter-in-law alone in a room for more than 30 minutes without her doing something she wasn't supposed to.
"What, you told me to put my leg up," the brunette shrugged and gestured at the brace they'd imprisoned her right leg in. She felt a lot better after a couple of bags of IV solution and some food, and the pain in her leg was minimal at this point, though Paula had insisted she keep it raised.
Paula shook her head and set her purse on the bedside table, before sitting in the chair by the bed. She looked at Ashley, who'd lowered one of the railings on the bed and was sitting with her right leg stretched out on the bed before her, left leg dangling off the side. The head of the bed was only slightly raised, so she either had to lie down or hold herself up. It certainly didn't look comfortable, but the calm expression on her face said otherwise. She was lying back, holding Spencer's hand between her own and occasionally glancing at the sleeping blonde.
"Arthur and Anthony are on their way here, and your sister called as well, she said she'd be here soon. I still haven't been able to reach Glen, though I have no idea how he doesn't know with it being all over the news," Paula said and Ashley looked at her weirdly.
"When you say all over the news..."
Paula grimaced and switched on the TV hanging on the wall, turning it on 'Mute'. She flipped through several channels and it immediately became clear to Ashley what the woman had meant. Several news stations were showing old and live video of their house and a couple even seemed to be outside the hospital. The scenes of their house showed a half dozen police cars, red-blue cacophony of lights, as well as some ambulances and crime scene teams. Even though there was no sound she could easily imagine what they were saying, especially the ones in front of the hospital. She knew someone would have to deal with them eventually, but that job normally fell to her manager.
Ashley swallowed the bile that rose in her throat at the thought and averted her eyes. She turned onto her side on the bed, resting her head in her propped up hand, trying not to jostle Spencer or her injured leg. With her free left hand she caressed the blonde's cheeks, feeling the soft skin warm under her fingertips. "Come on, Spence, it's time to wake up," she demanded softly, stroking her thumb lightly over the girl's parched lips.
The hand that wrapped around her wrist to stop her movement was by no means strong or forceful, but Ashley stopped nonetheless and stared at the blonde. Spencer's fingers felt cold against her skin and she moved them from her wrist to entwine them with her own fingers. The brunette grinned lightly and lifted her head, reaching over with her other hand to run her fingertips over Spencer's lips, "I know you hate it when I do that, so you better wake up and stop me."
The hand in hers tried to pull away again to swat at the offending fingers and when Ashley looked down, she saw one blue eye squinting at her. She stopped her movement and smiled, leaning closer to block the probably blinding light.
"Ashley," Spencer rasped, voice hoarse and weak.
"Spencer," the brunette answered softly, but with a smile on her face. She ran her hand gently across the girl's face to brush away strands of stray blonde hair that stuck out from under the bandages.
The other eye opened as well and Spencer blinked away the blurriness. She saw Ashley right next to her, saw her mother behind the brunette and glanced around the room. Her head felt incredibly heavy and her body was weak; Spencer could easily tell she was in a hospital room and she felt the panic begin to rise. She raised her right hand again, feeling the IV tube and tape on her arm tug at it uncomfortably. Pulling her left from between Ashley's and her bodies, the blonde flexed it tentatively, frowning at the effort it took . She rested it on her torso and met the curious, brown eyes.
"What happened?" Spencer asked, swallowing against the dry feeling in her throat.
Ashley covered up her frown so quickly, the blonde could hardly tell it was there, but the quick flash of worry in the brunette's eyes didn't escape her. Reaching over with her left hand, Ashley brushed her fingers against Spencer's cheek and sighed, "You were shot, Spence. You don't remember?"
Frowning slightly, Spencer took the brunette's hand in hers, intertwining their fingers and looked at their joined hands for several seconds before responding, "I...guess...there was a lot of yelling and...a flash and..."
Spencer trailed off at the end, closing her eyes and Ashley squeezed her hand gently, "You know it was never a choice, right? I would have never picked him over you, Spence."
Blue, teary eyes stared back at her and the blonde's voice was barely a whisper when she spoke, "Yeah, I know."
She blinked the tears away, eyes looking anywhere but the face next to her. Maybe it was the intense headache or the fact that she'd been unconscious for a while, that could account for the strange confusion she felt. Maybe she was missing something. Maybe she was supposed to know something. Glancing around, her eyes finally settled on the body next to hers and Spencer gasped when she saw the brunette's leg in a brace.
"Ash, you got hurt," she said, voice stronger this time and finally met the brown eyes again.
Ashley grimaced and managed a shrug, "It's no big deal."
Spencer narrowed her eyes, despite the pain in her head, staring at the brunette, "You got shot?"
"Yeah, but, Spence, "Ashley started, reaching out to grasp the blonde's chin to make their eyes meet again, as Spencer's kept trailing to look at her leg, "you saved my life."
The intensity in the brown eyes told her it was no joke, but Spencer nevertheless felt like it was, "I did what?"
"If you hadn't grabbed the gun, he would've shot me in the chest. Josh would've killed us both, Spence."
A sudden buzzing erupted in her head, drowning out her thoughts and split-second images flashed through her mind at the brunette's words. Spencer stared at the older girl, a strange look on her face, "Josh?"
Ashley frowned, wondering if Spencer really was alright, "Yeah...Josh...my former manager. Spencer, what's wrong?"
Spencer let the images rush through her head, a frown on her face and when she finally met Ashley's eyes, her own were teary again, "What year is it?"
The panic began to rise in her and Ashley sat up abruptly, staring at the blonde. She'd thought they'd made it through, escaped from death's clutches once again, but she'd known no one was that lucky. She'd been right. Her throat felt tight and dry, she could hardly swallow against the lump in her throat and only Paula's hand suddenly on her shoulder kept her from losing it. She looked down at the blonde, trying to hide the panic surely showing on her face.
"What year do you think it is?"
"Ash," Spencer responded sternly, voice sounding a lot stronger than the brunette's.
Ashley swallowed again, wishing she had some water or something nearby. She glanced down to where her hand lay on the blonde's torso and sighed, before meeting Spencer's eyes again, "It's 2014."
Spencer's eyes widened and Ashley was about to say something, anything to make that fact seem less shocking, when she caught an elbow in the side. Too shocked to speak, she stared at the blonde, whose facial expression was a mix between anger and mirth.
"You ass!" Spencer said, making the growing confusion become even more evident on the brunette's face.
"Uh, what?" Ashley mumbled, surprised her voice worked at all.
"You let me think it was 2007," Spencer scoffed, meeting the confused brown eyes.
"I did what...how? Wait...so you know it's 2014?" Ashley risked a glance back at Paula, wondering if she was the only one that was nuts, but the blonde woman looked rather confused herself.
Spencer closed her eyes again briefly, sighing heavily, "You said it was never a choice...just like...Aiden and prom. And this...my head hurts and it feels like it did...after prom. You're not wearing a ring and neither am I and...I thought...maybe I just dreamed it all."
It took her several seconds to process what the blonde had said, but eventually Ashley exhaled heavily and smiled, shaking her head, "I'm sorry, I just meant because Josh wanted me to choose my career over you. And I didn't even notice about the rings...they must've taken them off."
Paula, who'd moved to grab her purse from the bedside table, stepped back up to the bed and held out her hand to Ashley. The brunette opened her palm and four rings dropped into it, making her look at her mother-in-law questioningly.
"They gave me all your personal effects, but I thought I'd keep those close by. I knew at least you would notice they're gone, honey," Paula said with a smile and Ashley suppressed the urge to make a face at the woman. She'd learned over the past few months that Paula just really liked to pick on her and it really wasn't an actually comment on her devotion to Spencer. The blonde woman decided to give the two girls some privacy, making an excuse about calling Arthur again, before leaving the room.
Spencer watched in silence while Ashley slipped first the promise ring, then the engagement ring and finally the wedding band on her shaking fingers, then took the brunette's wedding band to return the gesture. They were silent for several more moments, before Spencer closed her eyes again, trying to block out the increasing pain. She knew she'd been shot, Ashley had said as much, but part of her was afraid to find out what exactly had happened. Remembering the last time she'd woken up in a hospital with a killer headache sent the panic coursing through her again.
"You okay, babe?" Ashley asked softly, finally feeling like her heart was beating at its normal speed again. Maybe everything would be okay, after all.
Nodding softly, Spencer grimaced, before opening her eyes again. Ashley looked at her calmly, a soft smile on her face and Spencer tried to relax somewhat. She knew if something was seriously wrong with her, Ashley would be going nuts right about now, so maybe she didn't need to be panicking. Swallowing hard, the blonde forced herself to ask the question she wasn't sure she wanted answered.
"Ash," she waited until the brown eyes met hers until continuing, trying to keep her voice from wavering, "he shot me in the head, didn't he?"
Ashley felt that awful nausea and terror rise in her again, but pushed it down. Spencer was fine, she just had to keep telling herself that. Slowly, she nodded, reaching for the blonde's hand again, "Yes, he did, but you're fine."
"I'm fine, "Spencer repeated incredulously.
The brunette chuckled, still finding it hard to believe herself, "Yes, you're fine. Your doctor said the bullet hit the old plate and disintegrated; it looked bad at first, but they just replaced the plate and stitched you up. You've got a pretty bad concussion and the doc thinks you'll need some more physical therapy, but you're fine. He said...that plate saved your life..."
She trailed off some at the end, swallowing hard at the thought that if not for some incredible stroke of luck Spencer would not be with her right now. Spencer stared at her, the look on her face still showing disbelief. She clenched her jaw, seemingly lost in thought for several moments and finally cleared her throat before speaking, "So...if I hadn't gotten shot at prom...I'd be dead."
Ashley stared back at the blonde, letting that thought sink in, before nodding slowly, "Yeah, I guess so."
It didn't seem right, it seemed like some cosmic joke someone had played on them. It wasn't just incredible, it was totally impossible and she wondered who was looking out for them. But if they both were okay, if they were both alive, the odds of it happening didn't really matter anymore. She realized for the first time that it was finally over, the months of worry and extra security, of fighting over stupid stuff, of being afraid that they'd fall apart. Spencer smiled at the brunette, feeling the pain and the worry slip into the background, happy just to be with Ashley and to be okay. They'd finally be okay again.
"I love you, you know," Spencer said softly, feeling the familiar flutters in her belly at the sight of the smile spreading across the brunette's face.
"And I love you...I'm going to prove it to you, Spencer," Ashley said quietly, leaning closer to the blonde.
"Oh yeah?"
Ashley nodded, cupping Spencer's cheek in her hand, "Yeah, no more tours, no more interviews, no more recordings. I'm done, Spence. I want it to be just you and me, together, forever."
Seeing the intensity and determination in the brunette's eyes, Spencer didn't even think about talking her out of it. She knew they'd still have plenty of time to talk about the future, to live the future, though she couldn't hide the part of her that was thrilled to find out she wouldn't have to spend months without Ashley. Grinning, she reached up and pulled the brunette down towards her to press their lips together. Irregardless of what had happened and what would happen in the future, as long as they had each other, nothing could really go wrong.