A/n: Hey guys, sorry for not updating for so long.. been ill, been lazy. I really didn't realize it's been quite a time since the last time I updated.

Happy holiday all!! Hope you enjoy this one.

Disclaimer: not mine.


Chapter 10

"Anger is just a cowardly extension of sadness. It's a lot easier to be angry at someone than it is to tell them you're hurt."

-Tom Gates-

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Emily was asleep by the time JJ and Garcia came back to the room. Hotch was sitting alone, reading a book. The unit chief raised his head and nodded at the two women. He closed the book and put it on the table in front of him.

JJ peered at the bed. "Is she okay?" she whispered, not wanting to wake Emily up. "Sorry I left like that."

Hotch shook his head. "No need to apologize. You needed some time alone – and she needed the time herself. Are you okay?" the tall man asked, concerned. "Morgan called me a few times, but I was talking with Prentiss. I got his text message, though. What are you going to do about it?"

The young press liaison gave Hotch a defeated smile. She shook her head and said sadly, "I have no choice, do I? I have to do it. Even if I refuse to apologize, Strauss will make me do it or she will mess with you and the team."

"JJ," Hotch began but JJ cut him off.

"No, Hotch, you know I'm right. I know that Strauss will do anything to break up the team; she'll use any means possible. I don't want to be the reason why she split up the team. I won't let her hurt us like this. I won't let her hurt Emily like this," JJ stated.

"I don't recall asking for your protection, Jennifer." An angry voice came from the bed and the three agents turned their heads. Emily was sitting up straight on her bed, looking angry. She glared at JJ. "Do you mind telling me what this is all about? Or am I too fragile to know about this too?" the brunette asked sarcastically.

Hotch noticed that Emily had used sarcasm more frequently since she came back and he wondered if it became the woman's new defence mechanism. He glanced over at JJ to see the blonde's reaction.

JJ shifted uncomfortably. Making Emily angry was the last thing she wanted, but she didn't think that telling Emily about JJ's little problem with Ambassador Prentiss would lessen Emily's anger. She glanced at Hotch and saw the older man nod. JJ watched as Hotch and Garcia stood up; both agents smiled encouragingly at her.

"We'll leave you two. I think you need to talk," Hotch stated. He led Garcia to the door and left.

After the other two had left, the two women stared at each other wordlessly for a couple of minutes. JJ felt uneasy and she could see that Emily wasn't going to break the silence. JJ's mind fought with the battle whether to tell her friend about the matter or not.

What if she gets angrier when she hears? What if she pushes me away? What if she thinks I was being impolite to her mother and she doesn't want to see me again? What if she blames me? JJ's mind couldn't stop asking those questions. But then she had other concerns, what if she feels abandoned by her own mother? What if I make her sad if I tell her? What if she feels unwanted?

Emily could see the emotional battle in JJ's mind through her blue eyes and her demeanour softened slightly. "JJ?" she called out. The blonde blinked; Emily saw a teardrop fall from the side of her right eye and she felt like a jerk. "JJ, I... I'm sorry."

JJ shook her head. She wiped the teardrop away and took a deep breath, not letting any other teardrops fall. "No, Emily – I'm sorry. I'm sorry I kept things from you," JJ said. She stood up and walked towards Emily's bed. "I shouldn't have done it – I wasn't being fair to you. But Emily, I want you to know that it wasn't my intention to hurt you. I just... I guess I wasn't thinking. I care so much about you and I don't want you to get hurt again. You've been hurt enough." The younger woman stood by the bed, her hand resting on the mattress – only a couple of inches from Emily's own hand. Their eyes locked.

Emily could feel her heart beating faster as the depth of JJ's blue eyes consumed her. The brunette felt so warm inside – something she had always felt whenever JJ was around – but she couldn't explain the warmth. Her pale complexion coloured as blood rushed to her face. What the hell are you thinking, Emily Prentiss? A cold voice reprimanded her. Emily shivered as she recognized the voice – it was Sara Mendell's. All of the sudden the woman felt dizzy and nauseated; she felt dirty.

The younger woman saw the abrupt change. She knew where this would lead – another disorientation; another horrible moment of seeing Emily in her own terror – and she had to bring Emily back to her fast. "Emily," she called. The brunette didn't respond; her eyes stared blankly into the space. "Emily!" JJ repeated, more persistent this time. When JJ didn't get a response, she took hold of Emily's hand without thinking.

In a split second, JJ let go of her hand when she saw Emily begin to hyperventilate. The media liaison mentally smacked herself for being so stupid. Emily didn't like to be touched. JJ had seen how the brunette avoided even the slightest touch from JJ and the nurses.

"Emily, sweetheart, look at me, please," JJ pleaded. She waited for a reaction from Emily, and when the taller woman finally blinked, JJ let out a relieved sigh. "Em? Are you back with me?"

The older woman nodded. She didn't protest when JJ helped her lie down. "She's still here inside my mind," Emily whispered after a while. The woman sounded tired and helpless and JJ wanted to hug her. "I can't make her leave."

It was the first time JJ heard Emily admit that she wasn't okay – even though not directly. "I'm sorry, Emily. I'm so sorry. I wish there were something I could do," JJ whispered back. She was surprised when Emily moved her hand and touched the tips of JJ's fingers. They stayed like that in silence, each enjoying the feel of the other's skin.

***

"Sir, do you think it is okay to leave them alone?" Garcia asked, concerned. The two agents were sitting in the waiting room, not far from Emily's room.

"They need to talk about it," Hotch replied. He wasn't sure if it was a good idea, leaving the two women alone – one was emotionally unstable and angry, while the other one felt guilty. "Maybe this way they will be able to admit their feelings towards each other," he mumbled.

Garcia's eyes widened. "What?" the tech analyst asked. Hotch couldn't possibly know that JJ had special feelings for Emily, could he?

Hotch eyed Garcia carefully. "Prentiss needs to admit that everything is not okay; she needs to admit that she needs help. And JJ – she needs to admit her fear of losing Prentiss again. It's not unhealthy. They have been through a traumatic event. What matters now is how they deal with it. If they keep their fears to themselves, they won't be able to leave this behind them. We can't do anything, it's up to them."

Garcia nodded. The blonde sensed that there was something else underlying Hotch's statement, but she didn't say anything. "I see," was her only response. She glanced sideways when someone passed in the hallway. The computer tech thought that the person was rather familiar. "Oh dear!" she gasped as she realized who that person was. "Hotch, Ambassador Prentiss is here!"

.

"Because watching the world, I don't understand... It just makes much more sense with my hand in your hand."

-Jape-