Chapter 10

A heart.

A small, black heart was drawn next to the words 'he loves me!' And she had been referring to him of course, Caspian. He had been smiling like an idiot at the pages of the notebook already but that just made his heart stop momentarily. You can only imagine how he felt when he saw her last reason of the list Reasons to oppose to Aslan's will and stay with Caspian. Well, just the title itself was enough to be sure she did want to be with him but reading the words I love him was exactly what he needed to not get a minute of sleep. Neither could he sleep nor did he want to. He was too happy to close his eyes and take them off of her delicate silhouette that was lying next to the dragon- Eustace seeking for his body-heat for the night air was cold. After all, he didn't want to ruin his joyful mood by any possible nightmares again. But thinking of the long day that awaited them, he thought of at least trying to get some rest so he just closed his eyes. She had rolled onto her lap and had turned her head so that she was not facing him anymore, anyway. And he felt thankful he had closed his eyes for after a while, he heard Edmund's whispering voice.

"Su, you sleeping?"

"No, not anymore thanks to you, Ed." She mumbled sleepily, not bothering to even blink an eye. "Bugger off, Edmund. I was having a pleasant dream."

"Hopefully your Prince Charming, and I'm definitely not talking about that moron, Jake the Imbecile!"

"What do you want, Ed? To talk about Jake? Or maybe Caspian?" irony was obvious in her voice and she opened one eye when she heard him snort a chuckle. And when he replied positively she even rolled on her back and supported herself on her elbows. "What's so important about them that had to get me awake?"

"I just wanted to talk to you when the imbecile was not listening and when things were a little…peaceful?"

"Wrong choice of word but never mind. Shoot!" she said before yawning deeply and quite unladylike but it was only normal so Edmund did not make a joke up, only chuckled.

"How on earth did you end up with that ninny? Because knowing you –which I do- men like him never really attracted you. Actually the only one who has ever attracted you is Prince Charming, King now actually but-."

"Edmund!" she shot him a warning glare which made him shut up and wait patiently for his sister's reply. "Anyway, you are right. Listen, Jake is one of the many that I happened to have struck their fancy and mother thought he was the most suitable, possible husband for me. According to her it's extremely difficult to find a handsome young man who serves in the Navy and is such a gentleman and a good man."

"And you just accepted that? Because that doesn't sound like you at all, Su…"it wasn't a question, it was a statement. And Susan knew it was true. During their reign in Narnia, she had learned how to listen to her heart, to be a strong, powerful, fierce young woman, independent from any other's thoughts and wishes for her, she stood up and defended what she believed to be right and what she wanted. Even most of the men feared to challenge her in a battle of wits and arguments for they knew they were lost beforehand. Only her family had the courage to object her sometimes and even they were too intimidated to do so. So how could she have accepted their mother's decision without a fight and ended up with an idiot?

"At first, I didn't agree to her decision. So she somehow managed to plan 'accidental' meetings for us two. Eventually, I warmed up to him and found out that mum was right and if I ever wanted to get married he should be the one. But I also did it because…because I wanted to forget…him. And I had started to, or so I thought. I imagined Jake as my motive to get over Narnia and Caspian. But I guess I was wrong… especially now that I've returned, I am doomed!" she emphasized dramatically her last words, causing a playful, silent giggle out of them both. Edmund finally understanding her for the first time in that journey, he sat beside her, threw an arm around her shoulders and pulled her comfortingly to him. She leaned on her brother's shoulders, a contented and surprised smile gracing her lips.

"Well, Su, you didn't explain much but I feel as if I know exactly how you feel. It must be so hard for you to be around Caspian not knowing what will happen. Plus, having Jake following you like a puppy is quite driving you nuts, I'm sure!"

"Oh, Eddie, you understand me so well. Wish you could give me some answers as well…!"

"You'll get your answers, Su. I can guarantee that. Aslan won't leave us hanging for too long." He reassured her and kissed her forehead, surprising her even more with his too loving and emotional gestures. "Goodnight…Su…zy!"

Caspian thought he heard a slap but he knew it must have been a playful smack because he heard them giggle again before Edmund's hard footsteps scratched on the sandy ground once more. He felt extremely guilty and ashamed for reading someone's journal without their permission and eavesdropping but the things he had learned that night had given him hopes and hatred. Hopes for a future life with Susan. Hatred for Jake for being her almost husband.

XxX

"Susan! Wake up! Su!"

"Certainly, Lu. Whatever you like…"

The Valiant Queen rolled her eyes. It wasn't the first time she had heard that. Sometimes her sister truly was like Edmund. "Su, up, up, up!" the girl shook her sister violently and practically lied on top of her in order to wake her up and a wide grin spread on her face when she did.

"Honestly, are you and Ed cooperating so I won't get some decent sleep tonight?"

"For one thing, sun is almost rising." She said pensively earning a groan from her sister. "No matter, look around. Do you notice something that is not there to be noticed?"

"Since when do you speak in riddles, Lu?"

"Just look!"

She scanned the area through half-shut, sleepy cerulean eyes. She saw everyone sleeping right where she remembered them last night. The only thing that had changed was the fire which was gone. Edmund and Caspian at the other side of the nonexistent now bonfire, Jake a couple of yards away from them, Reepicheep cuddled next to Eustace and-.

"Oh, my God… where the hell has that boy gone now? I swear weren't he a dragon, I would have surely murdered him!"

"Whoa, keep it down, Suzy. Some of us need to sleep some more." Jake shifted a little but did not open his eyes, making the Queen swallow a groan at her nickname once more. Without really caring if she annoyed Jake, she ran by the Kings' side and shook them lightly, having experienced the violent wake-up shaking.

"If you're getting back at me for waking you up before, then -!"

"No, Ed. It's not that! Eustace! He is gone missing!" she whispered in urgency, both the Kings widening their eyes at her words. "Again!"

"Why are you whispering?" Caspian observed as he rubbed his eyes. Susan arched a brow, looking for an answer but not finding any so she just shrugged it off. "Anyway, do you have any idea where that silly boy can be?"

"None! For all we know he could be gone for hours and gotten lost and-!" she hated being in despair but that feeling washed over her every time a family member or loved one got lost. It was just her nature and she hated she couldn't help it. But what was more frustrating is that she once could, before Aslan told her she would never return.

Caspian, seeing the despair mirroring on her beautiful face, he gently grabbed her chin and looked her in the eyes. It has always worked on the Gentle Queen, she had to look straight into one's eyes to be convinced of what they were trying to tell her. That was the only way for her to believe them. "Hey, remember what I told you yesterday. Have faith."

"Okay. I'll try." She muttered, knowing that even though she was almost whispering, she could be heard by him. She didn't know why he offered her a gentle, knowing smile but she knew she could not resist returning it. It was one of those moments when his chocolate orbs would be filled with serenity, gentleness and love. Getting lost in them was just an inescapable fact by now.

"Jake alert, Jake alert!" Edmund hissed next to them and just his voice made them break apart. His words had a more belated reaction as after a few seconds they both looked at him in bewilderment and wonder. "Please, it's just too obvious for the Just King!" he mumbled shaking a dismissive hand at them and Susan's blush didn't escape Caspian's notice.

"What's going on over here?" Jake stepped in, eyebrow raised in suspicion and question.

"We haven't exactly lost Eustace, have we now?" Edmund rolled his eyes. Was that man as blind as to not notice a dragon was missing?

"Then why don't you set off to find him? He can't have gone too far…" Jake shrugged dismissively before throwing an arm around Susan's tense shoulders and placing a kiss on her cheek.

The Queen bit her lips. It wasn't the first time he did that but she couldn't fight back the sudden urge to shake his arm off and to rub her cheek violently as if washing dirt off. She now knew, especially after her midnight chat with Edmund, that all that time she was thinking of Jake and of how kind and true and amazing he was were all lies she was making up. Lies that were helping her push away Narnia and thoughts of Caspian. She had always known she could never love Jake, but she knew she would care for him in a different way than she did her brothers. But now, being in Narnia with him, she saw the mistake she could have done, and she did not care whether she would stay in Narnia or leave again to know that either way she would send him away.

"What's wrong, love?" he whispered in her ear when she seemed to be pushing him away a little and she almost gasped hearing him call her what the Telmarine King had the day before as he begged her to have faith. It sounded too sweet, too loving, too truthful and real by Caspian's lips that even though she knew Jake meant it well and with care, to her ears it sounded almost fake, a pretend, a name that tried to claim she was his. But she wasn't.

"When we return on the Dawn Treader, we will talk." was all she said, giving him a cold look before she gently elbowed him to push him away. "I'm going to find a dragon. Who's with me?"

But before she had even completed her phrase, she saw her fellow Narnian monarchs standing proudly beside her, Lucy slipping her hand in hers, Edmund winking knowingly at her and Caspian smiling contently but cryptically as well. Had her decision been so obvious, the reason she wanted to talk with Jake? She didn't really care, she was glad that all of them approved, though she already knew they would.

"Maybe we should go back? We've been wandering for hours and hours!"

Caspian slid an arm around Lucy's waist supportively as she seemed to be passing out any minute now. She smiled appreciatively and supported most of her weight on him. Suddenly it didn't seem such a good idea anymore to the King but he did not withdraw his arm. "Lucy's right. Had he been anywhere on the island, we would have seen and heard him. A dragon isn't exactly a small and discreet creature. Nor is Eustace for that matter."

The Pevensies grinned at him.

"I guess you're right but what if something's happened to him?" Edmund suggested slightly concerned, knowing well that even as a dragon Eustace was a coward and he did not know how to defend himself. He only hoped his transformation would change that.

"Ed's right. We've got to keep going. Even though I would kill for a drop of water!" Susan realized. Speaking up after a while she realized how sore and dry her throat actually was and how she was sweating like a pig under the scorching sun.

Caspian surprised them all by producing a small flask of water from underneath his blood-red shirt and handing it over to the Gentle Queen.

"Hey! Why, you cunning Telmarine!" Edmund protested in disbelief and irritation, sharing his sister's thirst and need for water. "Why didn't you say you've got this with you?"

"You didn't ask for water, did you, now Ed?" Caspian justified himself with an all too innocent and angelic smile, making the girls giggle. Edmund however groaned.

"Yeah, right. I would have gotten the water if you fancied me!" he muttered loudly enough for all of them to hear. Susan choked and spat out most of the water in her mouth, causing a contented smile out of Edmund while Caspian's eyes were narrowed first in surprise and ended in disgust.

"Fancy you? I can't believe you even thought of such a thing. It's just disgusting and... not right!" he knew the Just King was just trying to tease and annoy him but he would not give him that pleasure. And pretending to have taken his words seriously did work for Edmund's satisfied smirk turned into a frown.

"I was merely joking..." he replied dryly.

"Were you? I have observed the looks you're giving me. They appear most sinister...!" he said dramatically, what he implied not going unnoticed by the Pevensies. Of course, the Queens once more burst in laughter while Edmund's eyes darkened, realising Caspian was just messing with him.

Edmund was about to retort when heavy flaps of great wings ripped the dry, hot air and tilting their heads fully, the shadow of a great dragon clouded them for a couple of seconds. They all shouted out his name, obviously he had not seen them and he started lowering his body. But before the creature landed, they heard a desperate, agonized cry and a great thud right behind them and they instantly knew Eustace had dropped something or actually someone.

"Only a nightmare. It is only a nightmare!" a very familiar voice yelled at himself. "Yes, Peter, it's just a nightmare!"

Susan dropped the flask at the sight of a very petrified Peter running up and down the beach of the island as the dragon was trying to land in a place where he would not scare Peter…too much. Everybody's jaw dropped before they burst in laughter.

"Honestly, I do not understand on what criteria Aslan was based on when he chose you High King." Edmund shouted trying to be heard above his brother's desperate efforts to convince himself he was living a nightmare.

"Shut up, Edmund!" the sandy-haired boy shouted warningly without looking at his brother before freezing on the spot and repeating his name again. Through wide eyes his gaze travelled between Caspian and Lucy, and the two dark haired siblings of the family. "Uh…what is this? Where am I? In Narnia? Snap out of it, Pete. Aslan said you won't come back. Yes, you were right, it's a nightmare so, wake up, you masochistic moron! Up, up, up!"

The four monarchs were left to stare at the High King in genuine puzzlement and amusement as he frantically pinched –and hurt!- and slapped himself so to wake up. They were glad their subjects were not witnessing their King acting like a paranoid lunatic.

"Eustace, do the roar!" Edmund commanded his dragon-cousin, knowing that Peter had either not heard him or not paid attention to him thinking he was a hallucination. Without hesitation, and enjoying it very much, the dragon distanced himself a little from Peter before a mighty roar echoed in the humid air of the island, making Peter stare at him speechless and astounded before falling backwards flat on his back, but not passed out.

"Lu, perhaps one drop? It might make him feel better." Susan suggested as she suppressed giggles. She didn't like laughing at her poor brother even though the sight was utterly amusing. Lucy nodded her head and knelt next to her brother so to let a single drop of her cordial between her brother's parted lips. The boy seemed much calmer now but was still puzzled as he stared at his siblings that were now around him in question.

"So I'm really in Narnia?" he asked and their smiles were all he needed for an answer. "Gosh, watch out! A dragon!"

Even the dragon laughed now as he was been pointed at by a trembling hand of Peter's. Lucy reassured him he was harmless –they thought telling him who the dragon really was would only freak him out more- and was about to wrap her arms around her brother when Susan beat her to that. They eldest Pevensies hugged each other lovingly and smiled at one another as they broke away slightly.

"It's so great seeing you all again. I missed you!" the blonde King confessed and he was prepared for the bone crushing hug he received by all of them together. As they hugged one another, the siblings were reminded of the day they defeated Jadis and embraced each other that exact same way. It had been too long since they had all been together, since they had adventures together and they greatly missed that. But now that Peter was here too, that would be fixed.

"Caspian? You're…not dead?" the young man blinked when he was finally free from his siblings and could finally see the King of Narnia examining him with a playful smile.

"What a nice way to greet old friends, High King Peter!" Caspian observed pretending to be hurt. "That's the way you greet in your world?"

"Well, no, we… Oh, come on!" he exclaimed when he realized he was teasing him. "Good to see you, my friend!" he finally admitted and patted him on the back.

"So what are you all doing here? Su, what are we doing here?"

"It's bit of a long story…" Lucy remembered giving the same answer to Trumpkin a year ago and so did Peter. She knew she had his full attention.

"Wow… you have been quite busy, haven't you?" Peter ran a hand through his golden hair as he processed what he had been told. "And don't even get me started on Eustace!"

"Quite unbelievable, but true nonetheless!" Edmund agreed. "And now we have to figure out why you're here too! I wish Aslan would give us a break!"

"I wish Aslan allows us to stay in Narnia this time!" Lucy almost corrected him making them all agree.

"I think we should focus on our mission first. Perhaps it will lead us to answers." Caspian suggested earning appreciative and acquiescing regards from everyone. "And, Peter, a sword and new cloths will be given to you on the Dawn Treader."

"Thanks, man." The High King patted him on the shoulder once more. Caspian was glad Peter had come to like him eventually and he felt happy to have all of the Pevensies with him once more. Aslan could not have offered him a better gift.

"Majesty! Majesty, the skies have blessed us!" a breathless Rhince halted before them and without saying another word, he pointed at the sky behind him before falling on his knees. And they were all astounded by the sight. A blue orb, bigger than a usual star but smaller than the sun, had risen in the sky. Its cerulean light was so intense and bright that was shining in the already blue morning sky and was not shadowed by the empowering light of the sun.

"The Blue Star, the one Coriakin talked about! We are indeed blessed!" Lucy clapped her hands in thrill and excitement before dragging Peter by the hand hoping and knowing that the rest would follow them.

Soon they were all once again onboard the beautiful, Narnian ship sailing on the blue path that light was creating on the serene, smooth waters of the sea. Everybody felt relieved to be on their way to Ramandu's island once more. They would finally be given some answers as what to do and probably undo the enchantments of the dark magic. They all longed to be unburdened by the tiresome and dangerous journey, longed to return home and the Pevensies wished to see with their own eyes their old kingdom and its restored castle, Cair Paravel.

"Lu, what happened?"

"Do you remember that sea-girl I told you about, Susan?" the girl did not wait for her sister to nod. "I saw her again but this time she seemed upset about us going to Ramandu's island. It was as if she was warning me about something."

"We already know of the dangers of this voyage, Lu. But we must go to the island, we have to free the captured Narnians and Narnia itself."

"We must get to Ramandu's island before we start discussing of the dangers." Edmund and Caspian intruded both Kings gazing upwards, waiting for the sails to be pregnant by the once mighty wind that had now ceased to blow. Caspian hated having made the crew row to the island but they had no choice. The sooner they got there the better.

"How are we ever going to get there?" Lucy sighed in worry, not really expecting an answer for she knew they had none.

"Or someone doesn't want us to get there…" they heard the Captain say meaningfully as he passed by them. Edmund rolled his eyes at the Captain's persistence of repeating every now and then his objections of them heading to the utter east, in hopes the Kings would change their minds and order they returned to Narnia. But no matter how hard Drinian would try, he would never convince them. They had all agreed that no one and nothing would stop them from accomplishing their mission.

"He really is never going to give up, is he?" Susan whispered in annoyance to the three of them who nodded with the same look of annoyance.

"Hey, it's been three days since he last mentioned the Sea Serpent!" Edmund suddenly joked, wanting to lighten up their mood.

"You missed that, Edmund?" Caspian demanded cheekily. But the Just King didn't get to reply. The complains of a Telmarine sailor were heard all over the ship and caused the rest of the crew to shout in agreement.

"If I get any hungrier, I'm gonna eat that dragon!" one of them shouted looking up at Eustace who was flying above the ship with Reepicheep on his nose.

"Poor boy. He doesn't deserve to be treated so poorly when so much has happened to him." Susan eyed pitifully the dragon.

"Well, he hasn't been exactly polite and nice to anyone. But you're right. I shall order them right away to never speak such a thing again."

"No, Caspian, it's all right. They cannot hurt him anyway." She said smiling gently at him.

"Susan, I wanted to-."

Everybody on the ship collided soundly with the floor and shouted in surprise and fright when the ship suddenly sped up and rocked violently. They all stood on the sides and searched in the sea what had caused the rocking until Edmund laughed in surprise and recognition.

"Eustace! That's brilliant!" he shouted at the dragon who had now wrapped the end of its tail around the dragon head of the Dawn Treader's poop and was pulling it with force and determination, making it float with grace and speed on the motionless sea waters and was speeding up its arrival to their destination.

A little later, the Kings and Queens gathered in the Kings cabin. They were still worried and afraid of what they might meet in Ramandu's island and what would happen next. Caspian examining one of the swords he realized they might not even find the rest of the missing lords.

"We can't be sure the lord even made it to Ramandu's island." He voiced his doubts, not taking his eyes off the great, silver blade of the sword.

"Well, doubts will lead us to nowhere." Susan reminded him. "Besides, Ramandu will surely tell us what to do and where to look for them. But I think they'll be there."

"Let's hope so." he shrugged it off.

"Caspian, look at me." Her voice was almost commanding, resembling more to the Queen she was, but also gentle and reassuring. "Why don't you take your own advice and have faith?" she sat in the chair next to him when his chocolate orbs found her blue ones.

He gave a small chuckle at that and placed the sword on the table before him. "You're a fast-learner, my Queen."

"I've been told before." She wanted to joke but remembering the faces of her teachers back in England telling her she was the most practical girl in her class her smile fell. Practicality, a habit she was so hard trying to be rid of while others congratulated her for that skill of hers.

"Something the matter, my Queen?"

"No, just memories of…"

"Your world." He finished for her. "You still believe you're going back?"

"I do. And this time, I want to stay more badly than any other time. I just can't let go of this world, my world! Of people who truly love and respect me. I just can't."

He reached out and brushed away a single tear streaming down her cheek and lifted her chin up with his hand. "I believe that this time you're here to stay."

"It's what you want to believe, Caspian." Peter interrupted, not seeming upset by their intimacy but concerned about his sister. "Aslan has been pretty clear that once we learn what we can from this world, then there's no coming back."

"Then why have you returned?" But Peter and Susan looked away, biting their lips, neither knowing what answer to give. "We will figure it out. But in the meantime, I've got something you might want back."

Peter's eyes followed the Telmarine as he walked around the cabin and finally stood before his armor and sword. "You are probably be wanting your sword back." He said smiling knowingly, both remembering their first meeting. The High King walked before him and took it in his hands, eager and relieved to be holding again a symbol of his reign and power. "I took care of it as promised."

"Thank you, Caspian. I really appreciate it." he smiled gently before unsheathing it and examining the familiar engravings on the blade. "When Aslan bares his teeth winter meets its death." he said in a sigh remembering his previous times in Narnia and hoping that Aslan's words were true and that things never happen the same way twice.

"When he shakes his mane we shall have spring again." Susan finished it and looked encourangingly at her brother. "It's going to be all right, brother. We'll be all right." she said melancolically, knowing he understood what she meant.

"Everybody look!" Lucy's voice was urgent and thrilled, making everyone gather around her in the balcony. "We're here! We made it!"

Susan gasped at the beauty of the island before her. "Ramandu's island.."

Firstly, I want you to know that if you hate this chapter then you are not alone! It certainly did not come out the way I had planned it to. I have deleted and rewrote it like millions of times but I guess today was not my day. Sundays and school are such inspirational killers! -.- no matter I hope you're at least satisfied Peter's joined the story. I will try to make the next chapter much, much, much better and it will thankfully be more fast-paced, because I love writing action!

Oh and as for Caspian and the journal thing, well, it's not over just yet! As I said, this chapter didn't turn out as I had wanted it to and I desperately wanted to fit more of Caspian's thoughts on the journal. Gah, in the next chapter!

As per the 100th review, then you must know I have already thought of what the oneshot will be but I will ask for the lucky girl's ideas first. Perhaps you want me to write something in particular! No matter, I so looking forward to that review! :D

Today I'm sorry I can't reply to your reviews, time is pressuring me so forgive me please! :( All I will say is that your reviews make me smile and help me a lot to understand what you expect of this story and of me as a writer. So thank you. Damn, I hate myself today for this crappy chapter and for not replying to the reviews...

Please leave me a review, if you do not hate me by now!

I truly love you all, kate xxx