Twelve Days of Akatsuki Christmas

Summary: Ever heard of the twelve days of Christmas? This is the Akatsuki version. With Kisame incapacitated, Pein sulking, Konan trying to cheer him up and everyone else out on missions, Itachi is forced to answer the door every single day for twelve days. What will he find? I think you all know. OOCness and slight crack.

Disclaimer: I don't own Akatsuki, or Christmas XD

"talking"

'thoughts'

-noises-

writing

8:00 AM, Undisclosed Location of the Akatsuki Hideout

-Ding Dong!-

Red eyes blinked, the owner raising his head from behind the fridge door. Itachi had finally left the hideout the day before to re-stock his dango reserves, so he was now happily (if such things were possible for Itachi) munching away on them, when, of course, the doorball rang. Being in a much hapier mood now that he had dango again, Itachi wasn't...as intent on murdering the person who kept sending him these things. Looking the opposite way of the door, he counted all the things he had received many a day before that one.

'Not much more they can send me...I hope. They've sent me pretty much every single crazy thing under the rainbow.' Itachi thought as the doorbell started ringing again. Wandering towards the door, Itachi pulled it open, seeing the tree as per usual since that day so long ago.

Everything else was present as well, including the ladies dancing from the day before, and, just behind them, ten other men, jumping repeatedly across the far side of the lawn. Itachi blinked, stared, backed up slowly, and then made his way towards the card.

On the tenth day of Christmas, someone sent to me

10) Ten Lords A-Leaping

9) Nine Ladies Dancing

8) Eight Maids A-Milking

7) Seven Swans A-Swimming

6) Six Geese A-Laying

5) Five Golden Rings

4) Four Calling Birds

3) Three French Hens

2) Two Turtle Doves and

1) A Partridge in a Pear Tree

'Again with the A-Something-ing! It couldn't be just Ten Lords Leaping, it had to be A-Leaping. Stupid card just spoiled my day. No amount of dango or murder will be able to fix this...okay scratch the murder part. Then again, Pein-sama would kill me if I got blood all over the inside of the hideout....but that's only the inside. Hmm...' Itachi started contemplating different methods of murder for the things he had been sent. Mass murder or singular? Slow? Quick? Maybe he could plug up the ducks with a cork so they would explode...Enjoying that thought immensely, Itachi once again started the moving process, ushering in the ladies and then the....lords, trying to make sure they hit their heads on the door frame, but sadly, they all ducked when Itachi tried.