Feared Love United: Chapter 10/Nightmare
Halfire opened his eyes. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, but when they did he found himself in his study. He looked about his desk, and paused. He had almost forgotten about how much work he had done on the Winter Deer. He looked over his research. Every time he referenced a text, he saw the contents of the text in his mind... or at least a brief summary. Focusing heavily on the passages he was citing... as he had read each and every one far too many times. His work was compelling. He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.
Halfire found himself before the board of the university, defending his thesis. It was all so ordinary and banal that he was shocked when funding was refused. After a moment's thought, he realized it was a pie in the sky. They had very little hope of finding anything fruitful. All he really had was rumours and happenstance that they might find something of value in the nothern wastes. He was disappointed, but gracefully retired.
Halfire found himself sitting back in his study, finding himself no real motivation for his scholarship. His curiculum vitae had a mountain of academic research, but, he paused to wonder exactly what he had accomplished. He used his telekinesis to spin his quill about his right front hoof, and sighed. He would not have believed it would happen if he had not seen it first hand, but he had sighed. What?.. what was he accomplishing with his life. Outside of his courses, he lived a life of complete solitude. He had nothing but his research. Nothing but the dusty pages that few would ever see, nevermind deign to read.
Halfire found himself in the Royal Canterlot Library. Not in the prestigious Starswirl the Bearded Wing, no, he found himself among the rest of the dottering research. All paragons of their field... all completely and utterly forgotten to the dusts of history. Their sum total contributions to Ponykind could arguably be compared to a first-day recruit in the Royal Guard.
Halfire walked along his usual route to his usual coffee shop. It seemed a day like any other, although a bit dark and grim and grey. Had the Pegasi forgotten their scheduled rain? He sat at his usual table and ordered his usual tea and scones, and quietly looked out to the same patch of visible sidewalk he always did. He sighed and slumped, as if the day did not feel real. The only real discovery that had been made in his lifetime was made by Princess Twilight Sparkle. He did love her as all Ponies in Equestria did, but what was it? Was it jealousy? She did have much to be jealous of, but it was the fact that she all but stumbled upon the castle as if on a whim was what bothered him. He had power, sure, but power as a professor. Outside of his field and outside of his purview, few would so much as recognize him. He tapped his hoof on the table as he thought it over. As he looked about, he realized that no one had even seen this. Even if he acted out, no one even recognized his presence. Not even the smile on the waistress' face would cheer him up.
Was that really the only reason he came here? Was his life that shallow? Was he that shallow?
In the abyss, Spike saw Rarity, glowing like an angel. He felt as if he could reach out and touch her... grasp her... but as he did... she slipped from his fingers. It was as if he could feel her slipping away. Did she not care about him? Is this how she felt about him, turning away as if he were nothing? He had been away for so long... was it that?.. did she not miss his presence? Did she not even notice his absence? It was as if he was nothing...
Every time he had come to visit. Every time he had helped her... and they were what?. not even friends? Not even enemies?
He felt something burning on his cheek, and when he wiped it away it turned out to be his tear, evaporating on his claw.
He paused... and thought... and felt... Nothing clearly. Nothing in focus. No conclusions... just... emptiness... just a deep, dark abyss down inside him. He had a deep longing, one that he could not understand. It felt as if his heart burned... more than it usually did... more hopelessly than it usually did.
Halfire was kneeling before Princess Celestia. Something weighed on his neck. It was his award. His merit. Given by Princess Celestia herself, but despite his presence to the sun goddess, the light seemed oddly dim. Here he was receiving the highest award a scholar could receive, from their reigning deity herself... and... it meant nothing to him. He reached for the medal hanging around his neck, and his hoof slowly passed through it. Here she was extoling his virtues, and... he felt nothing... no attachment to it... no connection... as if his life were as meaningless as he feared.
"Twilight?!" Spike called, but found his infantile voice do the calling. He reached around his throat and felt that of his adult... or more adult form. Dragons never really reached adulthood, it was more like progess... a progress that at the moment seemed stilted.
Twilight did not not notice him, and he stood there. 'Was he always a child to Twilight?', he asked himself, 'Was he always a child... to?..'
Halfire found himself in the dim light of the northern wastes. He looked at the setting... or rising sun... and could not even tell direction. How did he get here? How did he get lost? Why was he roaming alone in the northern wastes?.. His request was denied... So, why then, was he here? Why was he not simply at home, trying to find another obscure culture to study? Did he want to travel? He always thought that travel as a means to an end, but... was the means an end itself?
But Halfire was not wandering the nothern wastes. He was instead, in his favourite coffee shop, with is favourite waistress smiling at him... as he looked at her... he started to question her smile. Did she smile that brightly because of him, or his money?.. She was potentially his only social outlet... and... she was not. She was simply here to serve him coffee, but his bits paid for her company...
Halfire walked his usual route home when he saw Baron Spike, only as a child. At this, he remembered seeing the future Princess of Friendship and her supporters... and... why did that Rainbow one catch his eye?
Spike found his body grown even more... and found himself lording over a dimly-lit hoard, and?.. He looked around, but could not find out what he was looking for, until a door opened. He did not know where the door came from, but it was now here, with it's trim glowing for some unfathomably reason.
Halfire walked down the univerity corridors and reached his office. He opened the door and walked through.
Spike, in his childhood form stood in a room he did not recognize and saw a stallion he did not know.
Halfire walked through his door and found the childhood Spike, and stood in awe.
"Can I help you?" the childhood Spike asked.
"I... don't know why you would..." Halfire nervously stated, and did his best to bow.
"I'm... just an assistant..." Spike quietly voiced.
"And I'm just a researcher..." Halfire replied.
"Now," a strange voice said, "you both know that is not true."
"Discord!" Spike exclaimed, and in a moment reverted to his more adult form.
"Discord?!" Halfire exclaimed. "The god of chaos?!"
"Retired." Discord voiced, "Though only because Ponies are chaotic enough if I leave you alone." Discord fluttered his cape before pulling it back, revealing the Changeling Solace.
"Master?.." she nervously asked.
"Solace!" Spike exclaimed, "What are you doing here?!"
"Master!" she exclaimed, and flew towards him. He found himself embracing her without thinking.
"She asked me to help you." Discord stated, and Spike looked at him questioningly. "What were you doing?" Discord asked.
Spike snarled and gnashed in pain, and placing his claws on the sides of his head fought through the excruciating cloud that blocked his thoughts.
"Why are you alone?" Discord asked Halfire, who writhed as much as Spike did. "Why were you alone in the wastes?" Discord asked him. "Would you ever go anywhere alone? I must say, this is honestly worth the trip, even if the company and tea were not so delightful."
Spike's skull split in two, and horrendous dark energy erupted.
"Solace!" he exclaimed, and did what he could to control the energy, "Halfire?!" he added. His face gnarled as he tried to contain the pain, as he tried to pull the darkness away from those present.
"I appreciate the effort," Discord dryly said, "but I assure you we are quite alright."
With this Spike let go of the darkness and it fled from him, vanishing into nothingness. Spike roared into the heavens, or whatever it was that was above them.
"Feeling better are we?" Discord asked, and Spike only roared once again.
"Our darkest fear..." Halfire voiced, using his remaining mettle to simply stand still, and Spike nodded.
"Good thing..." Spike voiced, "my pet had the forethought to ask a simple question..."
"She is a darling." Discord stated. "Now, if everyone has recovered from their ordeal?" he asked, and gestured. The other doors had disappeared, and a new one appeared. Halfire stepped before it, and paused, looking back at Spike who seemed content to stand still.
"Before we flee..." Spike grumbled, "how do we face the Nightmare?"
"You already have." Discord simply stated.
"Then how do we dispel it?" Halfire asked.
"You mistake my meaning," Discord replied, "Nightmare is not something you fight. It is not something that has a specific place. It exists, as you do inside your body, and sometimes escapes..."
"Like when Master sneezes?," Solace asked, "and he lights something on fire."
"Exactly!" Discord exclaimed. "I like this one."
"Thank you." Solace said with glee.
"So?" Halfire asked, "we've... dispelled the darkness... simply by being here?"
"In so many words, yes." Discord said with a wide smile. "As I said, darkness gives way to light, until it gives way to darkness again. Oh, wait, I didn't say that to you?.." he asked. "Let's get back to your lovely village."
Spike walked through the door.
The door opened. First Spike walked through, then Halfire, followed by Solace and then Discord.
"Ladies?" Discord asked. "As I was saying, darkness gives way to light, until it gives way to darkness again."
"So, Nifl's Gate is safe?" Twilight asked.
"Safe from darkness..." Discord said with a wicked smile. "I will warn you, what will the warrior culture do now that they have nothing to fight?.."
"Oh, dear, me, the catastrophe!" Halfire exclaimed, and then breathed deeply to refind his centre. All eyes in the room were on him. "Every society finds something to pin... their aspirations on, like Loyalty and her Wonderbolt garb."
"Or the Alicorn Princesses." Spike added, with a light grumble.
"Does he always do that?" Applejack asked.
"Honestly?" Solace asked her, "Yes."
"He's so awesome he shakes the room by breathing!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed. "And get this, we knew him when he was a baby!"
"Don't make me bring up Rainbow Crash." Spike said to her.
"Oh, one time!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, causing Spike to snicker.
"She is the infamous Rainbow Crash?" Halfire asked.
"I mean?," Applejack asked, "you've been fawning all over her..."
"But I did not know she was the creature from legend." Halfire stated.
"Creature?.." Fluttershy nervously asked.
"Legend?!" Rainbow Dash asked.
"You saved Princess Celestia in Cloudsdale!?" Halfire exclaimed. "You made a sonic rainboom for the purpose of spectacle?!"
There was a great clamour as Pinkie Pie fired her party cannon, and the entire room was filled with confetti.
"Who did ya think it was?!" Applejack asked.
"A month ago I was a meaningless face you could pass by without a second thought!" Halfire exclaimed. "Three months ago that actually happened!"
"You can't be expectin' a Princess to remember the face of everyone she sees and all." Applejack asked him.
"Of course not." Halfire said to her. "As I have stated, I am a pleb. I never spent enough time with those who had any direct tales of your adventures."
"Then how did you meet my Spike." Rarity asked him.
"Was it how I met Gummy?!" Pinkie asked from beneath him, and he recoiled, unsure of how she crossed that distance without being noticed.
"Your... uh... ali... pet aligator?.." Halfire nervously asked her.
"Uh-huh?!" Pinkie Pie nodded.
"And how... might I ask... did you..." he continued.
"Trust me." Applejack said firmly, "You don't want ta know the stor-ay."
"I am both intrigued and frightened..." Halfire voiced.
"Easy there, Pinkie." Rarity said as she gently pulled her away.
"You don't want to frighten him!" Fluttershy quietly exclaimed.
"I... am..." Halfire voiced, "Thank you... Moving on... as we have strayed... a ways... from my point... a society without something concrete to build upon simply will not last."
"Translation?" Applejack asked.
"We need to give them something to party for!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed.
"Well..." Halfire voiced, "she's not wrong... My team can help the Winter Deer find a purpose, as we study them..." he added, "So feel free to leave it in our hands..."
"Without my squire?" Spike asked him.
"You could not possibly mean?.." Halfire nervous asked.
"He can!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed.
"And I was just starting to have fun with him!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed.
"You should come back to the castle." Twilight voiced, "Until you find a place all of your own."
With this Rainbow Dash started dancing in midair. "What?" Rainbow Dash asked, "It will be rad to have Spike back with us."
"My quest?" Spike asked Twilight.
"Of course you can quest..." Twilight replied.
"Pardon?" Rarity asked, "But can Spikey-Wikey even fit in the castle anymore?"
To this, no one had a reply and the group was left with a pregnant silence.
"Spike, Halfire, and Rainbow can stay." Twilight added.
"Why me, coach?" Rainbow Dash asked, and Twilight rolled her eyes.
"Other reasons aside, you are great at redirecting your energy to places other than conflict." Twilight said to her.
"Other reasons?.." Rainbow Dash asked.
"And," Twilight continued, "you could return to the castle within a day if we need you."
"I could do it in half a day!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, and Twilight rolled her eyes.
"Even... even better..." Twilight uttered.
"Would I have to keep telling Halfire stories?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"Only if you want to." Halfire said with a smile, and Rainbow Dash smiled back before quickly looking away.
"One rule," Rainbow Dash stated, "next time Spike needs help on a quest, I get to fight with him."
"It would be an honour." Spike said with a disturbingly wide and toothy smile.
"Pardon?" Rarity asked, and Twilight sighed.
"We can all stay here." Twilight stated. "I will negotiate for Nifl's Gate's entry into Equestria, Fluttershy will continue taking care of the animals."
"Of... of course..." Fluttershy voiced.
"Rainbow Dash will spend time with Halfire." Twilight stated.
"Because cuddling eggheads is exactly why we are here." Rainbow Dash sarcastically said, and Halfire coughed. "No offence." she added.
"None taken." Halfire said, and nervously looked about.
"But?.." Applejack asked.
"But..." Halfire voiced, "as we just established, we will be working to give Winter Deer a common cause to fight for."
"So they don't end up fighting themselves..." Spike added.
"Oh, right, sorry." Rainbow Dash said, and started to laugh, "I'm a little ditzy today?"
"A little?" Applejack asked her.
"Shh..." Rainbow Dash said to her, as she repeatedly and sereptitiously eyed Halfire.
"I sincerely doubt he would hold it against you." Rarity delightfully voiced. "I'm afraid to think of all the things Spike-Wikey has forgiven me for."
"I never asked you to..." Spike voiced.
"You never have..." Rarity said giddily. "Oh, my..." she said out loud.
"Oh, my?" Halfire asked.
"Fainting couch." Applejack stated.
"He does not need to be told about that." Rarity snapped at her.
"I did witness it myself." Halfire added.
"I find it charming." Spike said with his wicked grin.
"There are plenty of things I feel the same way about." Halfire affirmed.
"About Rarity?" Rainbow Dash asked, but Halfire just shook his head.
"About you, ya idjit." Applejack said to her.
"About me?" Rainbow Dash peeped.
"He has been turning on the charm, darling." Rarity said to her.
"Why didn't you say anything?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"Honestly?" Applejack asked, "It seem'd ta be workin'."
"But... but... my groove..." Rainbow Dash said out loud.
"But one of the things I find charming about you." Halfire said to her, causing Applejack to scoff.
"Rainbow?" Applejack asked, "Charming? Call me a donkey's uncle."
"That'll tell 'im." Applemite added.
"Darn tootin'." Applejack exclaimed. "That's why I did na say anyt'in." Applejack added. "You tend to... repell... any hopeful stallions..."
"With force." Sprite added.
"I do?.." Rainbow Dash stated, "naw..."
"If I have to prove to you my feelings are genuine," Halfire said to her, and stepped up to her.
"What are you doing?" Rainbow Dash asked. "You wouldn't."
"I would." Halfire said to her with a soldier's mettle he did not know he had.
"You could!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed.
"You should!" Applejack added.
Rainbow Dash tried to fly backwards, but found Spirte keeping her in place. "Sprite?!" Rainbow Dash shouted. "You too?"
"Brute." Halfire stated.
"I'm not a brute!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, "She's the one holding me in place!"
Halfire sunk his head for a moment before giving it a shake. "I should not have expected you to get the reference."
"It's from a play." Twilight Sparkle stated.
"Do you think I'm a the kind of mare you can doll up and take to a play?!" Rainbow Dash shouted at him a few feet away, but he did not falter.
"Dozens of senators stabbed one Pony who would be king." Halfire said to her. "And I would love to try."
"He would!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed.
"Now might not be the best time..." Twilight stated.
"And what's that mean?" Rainbow Dash asked her.
"I actually got us all tickets for this play..." Twilight Sparkle voiced.
"Why would you take me to a play?" Rainbow Dash asked Twilight.
"They have fake balloons full of fake blood," Halfire added, "they pretend to stab each other and the blood shoots everywhere."
"Noo?!" Rainbow Dash asked him.
"It's... um..." Fluttershy meeped.
"Fluttershy?" Rainbow Dash asked her.
"It's... um... a good play..." Fluttershy weakly added.
"We are straying even further off the point." Spike grumbled.
Rainbow Dash turned until her face was right next to his, "What's it to you?" she asked him. In reply Spike grabbed the back of Rainbow Dash's head. He then turned her towards Halfire, who approached and kissed her deeply on her lips. Rainbow Dash found the pressure from Spike diminishing as she pulled away. "What was that?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"I think it's called a kiss." Applejack sarcastically added.
"That's not what I mean!" Rainbow Dash shouted at her.
"Did it?.." Fluttershy quietly asked, "make you... feel like a little filly?.."
"Pfft." she replied, "Not at all..."
"You might be more convincing if you weren't blushin' sugarcube." Applejack said to her.
"There's a reason why I didn't help." Sprite stated.
"And that was?.." Rainbow Dash asked her.
"You're kinda smilin'." Applejack stated.
"I - Don't - Smile!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, causing most of the Ponies to begin laughing.
"Did you want to accompany me for tea?" Halfire asked her.
"You just got back from spending all night fighting snow-a-ma-gigies." Rainbow Dash said to him, "You still want to sit around drinking tea."
"With you," Halfire said to her, "more than anything in the world. My pardons to the Baron."
"I almost forgot..." Twilight exclaimed, "Pinkie?"
"Yes?!" Pinkie Pie asked, trying to pretend she was not just about to pull the cord on her cannon.
"No parties." Twilight stated.
"I don't know where you got the idea..." Pinkie Pie tried to say, her eyes shifting about.
"Until after," Twilight stated, "we spend a night without being attacked by Snow Wraiths."
"That sounds entirely reasonable..." Halfire stated.
"It just takes a minute for that to work on 'er." Applejack stated.
"Why do I get the feeling?.." Halfire asked, "that's she's going to spontaneously combust into a cloud of confetti?.."
"That's just Pinkie Pie." Rainbow Dash stated, "And if you really want to waste your time getting some tea... I guess... I will join you..."
"Unicorns die if they do not consume tea." Halfire said with a smile.
"That's not true?," Rainbow Dash asked, "is it?" she said as she looked between Twilight and Rarity."
"Coffee is probably what keeps Twilight alive." Rarity exhalted.
"I can't really argue with that..." Twilight replied.
"Oh, no?!" Halfire exclaimed, and Rainbow Dash turned to look at him with concern.
"What's the matter?" she asked, and his right foreleg began to shake.
"I'm getting the shakes!" Halfire shouted, "We need to hurry!"
"Alright, alright..." Rainbow Dash said to him, "But not more kissing me... until I tell you to..."
"If we wait that long, it would likely be forever." Halfire said to her.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Rainbow Dash asked him.
"I means you have a maiden's heart," Halfire said to her, "even if you hide it."
"I'm a Wonderbolt!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, "I have a Wonderbolt's heart!"
"Wonderbolts do have hearts." Rarity's singsong voice interjected.
"No I don't." Rainbow Dash stated.
"Tea?" Halfire asked.
"Just tea." Rainbow Dash stated.
"Then I shall not say a peep." Halfire said to her.
"Where's the fun in that?" Rainbow Dash asked him. "You make everything you say sound so exciting."
"Our little lightnin' bolt is turnin' into a thundercloud!" Applejack exclaimed.
"Everyone get ready to hold their vigil for tonight." Twilight stated, "If the Snow Wraiths do not show, we will know that we have won."