Chapter Ten
Baby's In Black
August 16, 1963
Today is the day that I have been dreading for long time. I thought I could push it away long enough to be strong, but I can't. I couldn't sleep last night, either from not being able to sleep or having nighmares, but one nightmare stood out. One with Jerry that has become more reacuring.
It started off right before the shooting scene, only, I was there with him. We were in the diner, chatting like we usually did, then he said he needed to go out to get something or smoke or whatever. I let him, stupidly, not knowing the consiquences, and continued to wipe the tables. Then I heard some arguing outside and walked up to the window to see. I saw the 'regular' (The guy that wanted to buy the shop) yelling at Jerry and Jerry yelling back, so I left for the door, thinking I could calm them down. I grabbed the handle.
It was locked.
I pulled and pushed on it a few times then let it be, I mean they're just arguing. Then it got more heated and I started to panic. I tried to yell at them from inside the shop and pulled on the door again, but the door wouldn't budge and I was mute. Or at least, they couldn't hear me, I could hear me. Then, the man pulled out a gun and continued to argue with Jerry, but Jerry put up his hands into submistion.
Then I started to really freak out. I pounded on the glass, shrieking at the top of my lungs and still trying to open the door. I started to tear up and grabbed the closest thing to me to throw at the glass, which was a stepping-stool. I pick it up was about to throw it when I heard the gun shot and saw Jerry fall in my blurry vision.
I shreiked as dropped the stool and ran for the door, this time I was able to open it. I wretched the door open and knelted down beside Jerry. I ripped off my jacket from my shoulders and tried to stop the bleeding, but I couldn't see that well through my teary eyes. Then I heard something that made me just shut down on the inside.
"It's your fault, Holly..." Jerry whispered. I stopped and looked at him in the eyes and he was crying, as well. "It's all your fault, why didn't you help me?"
"I couldn't get the door open, it was locked-" I started, half screaming it because I was hystarically crying.
"It's your fault!"
"No-"
"It's your fault, Holly," said a familiar voice behind me. I turned and identified that voice was Paul. He looked disgusted as he stood with the other Beatles, they're all disgusted. I stood up to him.
"No, no! It was the door, it wouldn't open, Paul! Guys!" I screamed at them, they just shook their heads and turned. I tried to grab Paul shoulder, but he spun around and pushed me down. He laughed like a child bully would to another child, and spit on me.
"Murderer!" He spat with an evil smirk
"Stop, it's-!"
"I hate you, we hate you! You are a disgrace," he sneered and turned to leave. I froze, it tore me apart. He started to walk away and I tried to get up to stop them, to explain.
"Wait, Paul... Wait!" I yelled to them as I tried to get up, but my legs wouldn't budge. I cried as they walked away, saying there names to get them to come back. Then the world around me began to shake and fall and began shriek once again, feeling doomed and damaged.
I woke up to drenched in sweat and Paul shaking me, yell-whispering my name. He had I mortified expression, he looked like he was about to cry in fear. When I looked at him, he stopped, but still had that horrified look on his face.
"Holly! Holly, are you ok? I heard screaming and-" he said before I interrupted him with a nearly suffocating hug. I shoved my face into his neck and started to cry before he could protest, inhaling a scent of sweat and feint tinge of cigarette smoke. He paused for a moment then wrapped his arms around my middle and slightly rocking me.
"Shhh, it's ok... It was just a dream. I'm here now, you're safe, shhh..." He whispered into my ear, repeating it over and over until I stopped crying (which took quite a while). When he started to unwrap himself from me, I stopped him.
"Paul?" I whimpered, sniffing shortly after.
"Yeah?"
"Can you stay...please?" I said, like a child I might add. I didn't want him to leave, what if I had that dream again? Paul was my best friend, and he knew just what to do. He would protect me from anything, I was so thankful for him being here. He laughed and looked down at me as I looked up at him.
"Sure, Hol, sure..." We both exchanged smiles and laid down on my mattress. I snuggled into neck/chest like before and he rubbed my back softly humming something, both of us enlaced in an embrace. I'm glad he started to hum, I needed to make sure someone was there. That everything I just dreamed was, in fact, a dream. Paul shifted and brought up the comforter, but we both stayed in the same position we were in before, laying on the mattress. After a while, Paul got restless.
"Are you cold, love? You're shakin'..." I didn't realize it, but I guess that dream totally mortified me. I wasn't shaking because I was cold, I was shaking because I was terrified. I shook my head 'no' and he sighed, "that dream?" I nodded and he moved closer to me. he asked me about the dream some more so I eventually told him about the dream and what he said in it, starting to tear up again in the process.
"I don't hate you, Holly. I never will, I promise..." He said and kissed the top of my head. I'm so glad that we are friends, I love him so much, I love all the guys. I laid there with a smile on my face and fell a sleep, finally.
When I woke up, I was back to my depressed state again. Not just because what was going to happen today, but because I woke up to John's fury.
"What the 'ell are you two doing!" He yelled into my room while he stood in the doorway, scaring me half to death. I opened my eyes rapidly and pushed myself away from the soft, plushy wall that was Paul and his arms around me. I got up and he woke up shortly after I moved. I turned to an angry and shocked-looking John, now up from the bed, and walked to him. I was a little bit in shock, but I decided it would be best to stick up for my-self. Nothing happened, so there was nothing to worry about.
"Keep your pants on Johnny, I'm fully clothed! I just had a really bad nightmare-" I said with a fake, hoarse whisper, gesturing to my current outfit of spaghetti-strapped shirt with pajama boxers.
"Again?" Called George from the living room.
"Yeah, not the same one though..." I answered as I rubbed my face and I pushed pass John to get to the living room. He looked very flustered, like he was actually angry to find Paul there. Well, he's just being a little twat, it's not a big deal . I grabbed a pillow on the couch and stuffed my head in between it and the couch.
" 'Ey! Watch your feet!" Ringo ordered as I put my feet on someone's lap, probably his. I chuckled as he tickled my feet a little and turned over to see the lot, they all looked a little worried except for Ringo and John, he looked angry and worried. Ringo looked some-what calm and his award-winning smile on.
"Don't even Starkey! I don't think rest of the lot wants a dead body on their hands!" Paul, now out of my room, and Ringo chuckled at my toughness and George snorted. George was a funny thing, it's not that we don't like each other. We just haven't gotten used to each other... I think, we are just both shy to each other. I'm making my way though, it's defiantly has gotten better since the talk we had about cars on my birthday and when we went to the bank for my inheritance. 'hehe, I'll crack you George Harri-Harrison, just you wait...' I thought before Ringo tickled me again and I stole away the tea that he was holding.
"Did you just steal an Brit's tea?" Paul said, sitting down to my left as I adjusted myself accordingly and still making sure that Ringo wasn't to close to me, even thought he was to my right on the couch. I stirred the tea bag and took a glance at Ringo, he looked appalled.
"Mmhmm, ta for the tea, love," I said in a mock-Liverpudlian accent and kissed Ringo's cheek. He looked unfazed for a moment then started to soften a little. I took a sip of the tea and laid back into the couch and we all chatted for a bit more. Then, we got up to get ready but Ringo stopped me.
"Umm, I was thinking... that thing with Paul-"
"Ringo, don't worry. I told the truth, I had a really bad dream that completely freaked me out! I told Paul to stay with me, it's just... it was that bad..."
" 'Ey, don't fret! I'm sorry I brought it up, I just worry about yeh," Ringo said as be brought me into a small shoulder-hug. "You're like the little sister I never had!"
"Hmm, Ringo Starr's little sister? I'd like that, thanks Rings..." I said with a smile, pulling from his embrace.
"No prob, sis." He said with his signature smile, I loved that smile. We went our seprate ways and got ready for the day. I put on my tight, long-sleeved, black-velvet dress that ends just below knees and brushed my hair down. I didn't want to be fancy, but I had to be some-what.
I brushed my teeth in the bathroom with Paul there doing the same when he asked me a question.
"Are you going to be ok, today?" He garbled, then spitting out his tooth paste. I paused then spit out mine and turned to him.
"I don't know, probably not. Maybe... I don't-" I interrupted myself with a sigh. Paul grabbed onto my shoulder and we both looking into the mirror.
"How 'bout I come with you today, hmm? I know a thing or two about this type thing, I think it might help!"
"I don't know, do you really want to?"
"Yes, you need someone there with you!" He said with a little laugh as he pulled away from me, "and I think I qualify!"
"How?" He hesitated, his mood dropping in a matter of seconds.
"Me mum died when I was 14..." he said distantly. Great, now Paul probably hates me! Oh wait, he said he won't ever hate me... strongly-dislikes me. I didn't know his past or any of the guys pasts for that matter, and they didn't know mine. Except for that I moved from London from America with my dad, but that wasn't the whole story... defiantly not the whole story...
"Oh, Paul... I'm sorry I didn't know..." I said sadly as I turned to him. He was looking down and sighed, but in a matter of seconds he looked up.
"No no, it's fine. You were going to find out any way," he said, shoving his hands into his front pockets. He gave me a half-smile, I returned it and faced the mirror, he is too good to me. "Well, let's head out!"
"Yeah, let's go," I said after a slight pause, thinking about our destination.
Jerry's funeral.
...
"I still feel bad, Paul."
"Why? It's not your fault, just drop it already!" He said as we were driving to the memorial service (Jerry's body will later be transported to Italy to be laid in his family plot), raising his voice on that last sentence. That scared me a little, Paul didn't raise his voice like that (well on my birthday he did, but that was for different reasons that I could understand). I shut my mouth, I didn't want to argue as much as it was killing me. He looked over at me a couple times then sighed, "sorry."
"No, it's fine..." I mumbled, still darkened by his attitude. Well, this is going to be great! Going to a second-father's funeral with my Beatle friend who is angry with me, and who might get noticed. I didn't think about that , what if he was noticed? The funeral was outside, what if some girl at the funeral saw him and flipped out? He couldn't come now, but we're almost there. I needed to tell him my thoughts regardless of our little spat, so I turned to Paul.
"What if you get noticed?" I blurted out, totally killing the silence.
"What?" He said sounding sort of pissed but a little confused, like he didn't actually hear what I said. I sighed, I was getting tired of his crabby-ness.
"What. If. You. Get. No-ticed?" He shifted and brought up a filled paper bag from underneath his legs. He dropped it on my lap quite rudely, "is he still upset?" I thought to myself. It seemed like it by the way he dropped to bag on my lap. Ugh, he really being difficult with this. I would get it if I totally offended him by me insulting his mom or whatever, but he was mad because I felt bad about so bluntly asking about it. He wasn't ready to tell me about it and I, insensitively, pride it out of him. Maybe I was being a little more apologetic then I should have been but come on, being mad at someone for trying to apologize? This was stupid.
"What's this?" I said as I started pawing through the bag.
"What does it look like? It's a disguise-" He almost sneered as he parked the car.
"Ok, are you going to be like this the whole time? Because you can go if you are! I am not going to putting up with this shit at someone-I-care-about's funeral-"
"So, you don't care about me?!" He yelled in my face after parking the car.
"Well I don't care for your attitude right now!" I retorted, "Paul, I'd expect this from John or someone but not from you-"
"Oh yeah, your bloody, f*****g boyfriend..." He mumbled, but still loud enough to interrupt me. As he looked down, my words choked for a moment until I realized what he said.
"What?" My boyfriend, what the hell did he mean? I was royally confused and I bet the expression on my face showed it.
"Oh please! Don't act, I know you like Jo-"
"You think I f*****g like John?! How immature do you think I am?! John has a bleedin' girlfriend for Christ sakes, that I am pretty good friends with by the way!" I yelled, enraged by his comment. True, I love his sense of humor, I love to hang out with him and Ringo and he might be a little aesthetically pleasing, but I wouldn't dare date him and I know better then to get caught up in an affair. And an affair with one of my good girlfriends, Cynthia or Cyn she prefers, she always comes over when the boys are out with studio stuff. She even brings me job listings that she thinks would be great for me! I can't believe him, he was acting like a child. That I was his to own to treat like this. I don't need this, especially not today. He didn't say anything, just glared at me, so I started to undo my seat belt. I don't need this. I chuckled under my breath and shook my head, I don't need this. I opened the car door and started to get out before he launched a bit towards me, almost like a reflex. He stopped himself just as the tips of his callused fingers brushed my arm. I looked back at him, his doe-eyes drooping but wide and full lips slightly parted. He looked like he wanted to say something, but closed his mouth and retreated back before he did anything. I huffed through my parted smile and turned back towards the outside, I don't need this. "Don't wait up..." I breathed and slid out the car, not facing him. I slammed the door and started to walk when I felt something tickle my cheek. I wretched my hand up to my face and felt a liquid droplet, I was crying. I quickly wiped the tear away and heard Paul's car finally pull away, ran the rest of the way to the park so I wouldn't be tempted to cry again.
I can't believe it, I can't believe him. I thought we wouldn't never have to fight, let alone get it this bad. I know all people fight, but it was over something so miniscule and we're best friends too. I let out a sigh of relief when I see the two people who could save me from my maddening thoughts, Dillila and Billy, standing there and looking for something. Before I could get their attention, Billy saw me and ran to me, arms spread out wide for a hug.
"Holly-Bawlly, we were looking for you!" He told me in a excited whisper when he finally got to me and gave me the biggest hug of my life, literally. That kid could be a professional wrestler. Billy was 13, but around me it was like he was seven again. He had that nick name for me ever since I first met him, when he was nine and mistook my name for 'Bawlly'.
"Hi Billy-Willy, I missed you so much. Hello Dillila!" I said in a matching whisper and then greeting Dillila when she walked over. I hugged her, temporarily suffocating in her frizzy, jet-black hair, and we started to walk over to the rest of the group.
"Holly, I don't mean to be rude, but didn't you say you had a friend coming?" He was so polite, I didn't even get mad at the thought of Paul. I looked down at the boy attached to my hip and I smiled, he returned it with his own toothie smile. I told him that I was coming with Paul and told him about the fact that he was the one from The Beatles, just couldn't resist. He was probably the biggest (boy) Beatles fan ever, last time I checked he had a poster, a record and two guitars (one he was planning to get signed), just because of there influence on him! He didn't have their 'moptop' hair, but he had his black hair slicked back like the boys used to do. I remember that, Paul showed me some pictures of them in the 'Quarrymen' days. He said that that was the old name of the band and that they were all Teds, I softly chuckled at the memory. Oh boy, what am I doing? I snapped myself out of my daze, I'm angry at Paul. I stopped walking and detached Billy from me, cupping his face with my hands.
"I'm sorry bud, he... he couldn't make it." I said solemnly. He looked down, frowning for a second then looked up and smiled at me.
"Aw, it's ok! I'm seeing their concert soon anyway," He said apologetically, "plus, John's my favorite!" I laughed at his comment and ruffled his hair. I love this kid, like a brother.
We walked to the chairs that they set up for the reception and got seats near the front. I wish Ringo or John or even George was here with me, I feel so alone. Sure, Dilila and Billy are here, but it's not the same. Even though I've known them longer, the boys are my best friends and roommates. I need someone on the other side, just to comfort me. Dilila and Billy are on the same side as me, experiencing the exact same thing. Then I looked at the picture that was blown up to the left of the casket, which was of course a big mistake.
It was a picture of Jerry in front of the counter in the diner, standing and smiling, there was never a moment where he wasn't. I remember that day well, it was my birthday and I had to work a shift there. I was mopey at first, nobody wants to go in on their birthday, but when I got in and saw Jerry there with Billy and Dilila I knew what was going on. They threw a surprise party for me, I remember dropping my bag and tea because they scared me rather then surprised me. We all laughed and cleaned up the mess while Billy got a small box with a bow on it. Jerry stood behind him with Dilila while I opened the present and I gasped.
It was a camera, but it wasn't just a dinkie disposable one. That shit was top of line! I remembered gawking and hugging them until Jerry decided to see if it works and almost dropped it. I took some pictures and then Dilila took picture of me and the cake slice and Billy and other things. That picture was the first picture I took, I chuckled remembering the discussion.
"Come on! Take a picture already!" Jerry said impatiently, sitting beside Dilila in a chair at a table.
"Alright, you get up then!" I retorted, taking my eyes of my camera for a moment.
"No no-"
"Come on Dad!" Billy piped up, turning away from his fixation on my camera as well and almost jumping out of his chair across from me.
"Yeah, get up and you can be my mode!"
"N-"
"Come on, Honey!" Dilila interrupted. She gave him a longing look and Jerry sighed and kissed her tan forehead.
"Alright," Jerry replied. Billy and I looked at each other and he hissed a 'yes' then Jerry walked in the middle of the diner. "Where do you want me, Cheif?"
"Hmmm," I walked around and I stopped in front of the counter. "Right there on front of the counter!"
"Alright!" he got in front of the counter and turned in slightly. I brought my camera up to my face and looked through to find Jerry making a interesting face. "Stop it Jerry! Be serious!" After a few more faces, he gave me a nice smile and I clicked the button.
Flash!
"Holly?" Dilila's voice awoke me from my flashback. Her voice made me jump and I turned sharply towards her. She looked confused, "Holly, are you ok?"
"Yeah, I-I... I uh need to get a d-drink of uh-water..." I stuttered as I started to get and faced the crowd of people behind us. I stood up and started to normally walk to the back where there was a wood. I didn't want a drink, I didn't want to be here, I just wanted to be home. When I was out of the sight of the group of people, I began to run, kicking off my heels then sprinting as fast as I could. I've always ran from problems, every since I was little and-
As I flew past the trees, tears started to stream down my face. Like a waterfall, they didn't stop until I tripped on something on the ground and flipped over, landing on my back, and even then they just subsided until I realized what happened. I want Jerry back, give him back God damn it! I want Paul, I want... Paul. I want Paul, how did I screw this up so bad? I don't know, but all I want is him to hold me and tell me that it'll be fine, that he was here and I'm ok. I started to cry even more and I even imagined his voice, calling my name.
Wait, I didn't imagine that. Someone was calling me, it was to muffled to tell who it was. No, I don't want to be found. As much as I hate crying, I want to be alone and... cry for a bit more, to figure myself out. I picked myself up, my head spinning, and started to run again. "Please, give up! Please, give up!" I whispered to myself, but the voice kept calling until I heard the ground pounding behind me. Shit, he was running after me, he saw me. I tried to run faster but I still heard the pounding get closer and closer, so I started to weave in between trees. That slowed it down a little, not myself because of slender body-type. He grunted (I discovered it was a he, deep grunt and all that) and yelled my name in a Liverpudlian accent.
"No, it's not him Holly" I thought to myself, "he left, you saw his car pull out." I continued to sprint and duck in between trees, I thought about climbing one but then I realized that the number one fetal flaw in every horror movie is that the main character that's about to die always goes up. Whether it's a house or a tree, I'm not going to take any chances. I thought I was winning for a moment, he seemed to be slowing down until I saw what was coming up.
A clearing.
Not just a little circle without any trees, I mean a 120 foot long meadow with a huge willow tree in the middle from the forest that I'm in to the other forest. Without anything to dodge around, I would most likely be caught, but I have no other choice. I decided I would run to the big tree in an attempt to climb up and... I don't know, hide? I can't think straight, I got a potential murderer on my tail, ok? I got to the edge of the clearing when that guy started to shout my name again. It sounded feint, did he lose me? Good, I smiled to myself and continued out of the clearing and in the meadow.
It was very beautiful, the meadow. The grass was a pale green, the type that you see around Easter, and it wasn't too long like a farmer's field, but long enough to see it blow in the wind. Bright, prairie flowers dotted some of the areas and the willow tree branches were the same green. The air smelled of potpourri and fresh honey, it was heaven. I slowed a bit, not knowing until the man yelled my name again.
"HOLLY!" He yelled, sounding so familiar.
I looked back and saw a suited man in his twenties with a mop of dark brown hair and a mustache. Scared that it wasn't in the least bit someone I knew, I ran faster and faltered to scream. Of course, he was faster now that we weren't in a wood, so I wasn't that surprised when I fell to the ground because a new force pushing and landing on me in front of the tree. Don't get me wrong, when I turned over I screamed and pounded on this pervert's chest to make him let go, I just kind of new that I had a slim chance to get the tree.
"Ow! Holly! 'F*****g hurts, stop! It's bloody me! Paul!" Paul? I stopped and looked up from his chest, he was on top from him tackling me to the ground. I saw a man with big, puppy-dog eyes and obviously fake mustache showing off his teeth in a smile. I was really confused, so I ripped of the mustache and I saw that he wasn't lying. "OW! WHAT. THE.-"
He didn't get to finish before I tackled him back onto the ground, him on his back. Before you knew it, I started to cry again into his suit blazer. I was so happy to see him again, you have no idea. I couldn't stand being mad at him, it was like being mad at a kitten or a puppy. He quickly reached around my middle and cradled my head into a tight, secure hug. After a minute of apologizes from the both of us and crying from me, I started to babble non-sense about how I missed Jerry and I manage to f**k up everything and how he hates me-
"I don't hate you Holly, I told you that! I love you, you're one of my best friends for Christ sakes!"
"...I know," I said believing it this time. "I love you too Paulie..."
We laid there for a couple more minutes then decided to go back to the funeral. Hand in hand, not the 'boyfriend and girlfriend' type of way, but the 'reassuring' way. Knowing that he was there and wasn't going to let go. All though when we got to the reception area with the chairs, he let go, but you get the picture. I chauffered him to our seats and gave him back his faux mustache just as Billy found us.
"Holly! Me and mum were looking for y-... who's the shmuck?" Billy quipped, looking confused and angry, like John this morning. I almost laughed out loud, that's my boy!
"Billy!" Dilila shouted as she appeared behind him, obviously upset by her son's lack of manors.
"This is-uhh"
"James," Paul said, saving me from blowing his cover. We talked about and we said when the funeral was over we would tell Billy that he was here. I looked back to him and he gave me a warm smile. I returned it and turned my attention to Billy, who was frowning at Paul. I got him to sit down beside me and soon enough, it started.
Most of the service I was ok, listening attentively and thinking of all the good memories I had of Jerry. I didn't cry, I think I got all of it out at the tree, but when I got up to say a few words, I was crying through the whole thing.
My speech was interesting, it was all about how you should remember the good memories as appose of what you could have done or said if he was here. I started out upset and worried if I could do it, but then I got into stories and funny memories and everyone was pissing themselves laughing. I was too and I was crying, but that was because it was so funny! I would occasionally take a glance at Paul, see what he thought. He was either laughing along or looking at me with warm eyes and smile to match. I'm so glad we got passed that fight we had, he means to much to me to let that ruin our relationship.
Then a thought came to me. If he trusted me with the knowledge of is mother's passing, I should trust him with the knowledge of my mom. When should I tell him though? Now, tomorrow? I don't know. When I finished my speech I got down and took my place next to Paul.
"Great job, you did it!" He whispered in my ear, hot breath gliding over my ear. I don't know why, but it sent shivers down my spine.
"Yeah, thanks..." I said distantly. Then after a pause I piped up again, "hey, before we get to the apartment I want to tell you something... alone..." He looked me in the eyes, and by the look I was giving him , I told him I was serious.
"Uh, ok..." He responded, sounding understanding as appose to confused. I nodded and turned back to the person who was speaking. I took a deep breath, I needed it.
When the service was over, we all mingled and talk a bit more. Then we took Billy and Dilila aside and a held my breath. Remember the deed to the diner? I thought about it and I decided I can't take care of it, so might as well keep it in the family.
"Oh m-... I don't know what to say..." Dilila said as I gave her the deed. I smiled at myself, proud of what I was doing, and then tear started to form in her eyes. I was going to bring her into a hug then she interrupted me. "But, Jerry gave this to you! I can't leave with nothing-"
"Ma, wait! I got something..." Billy said, rummaging in his pocket. "Dad said... I should give this to the most special girl... in my life..." He pulled out a small but long rectangular box and held it out. I frowned, not sure what he meant, then he shoved it towards me, "you're very special to me Holly, so here!"
"Oh Billy, your father gave you that. You should keep it!"
"But, Dad gave you that! He gave me instructions not to keep but to give!" He said, raising his voice a bit and shoved it into my hand. I looked at him, he looked hurt that I didn't want him to give it to me, but I just smiled and said "ok, I'll keep it safe!" He smiled and I opened the box.
It was a little gold heart-shaped locket on a gold chain. It had a slightly smaller heart in the middle was outlined with flowers and was frosted on the outside of the smaller heart. I opened it and it showed that it was a four panel locket (another panel that flapped around in the middle). It was absolutely breath-taking.
"Wow..." Paul breathed, I smiled and closed the locket. I looked down at Billy who was glaring at Paul and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
"Thank you Billy, it's absolutely beautiful." I said to the blushing 13-year-old. I had to hold in my laughter, he was too cute!
"Aw, it's nothin'." I chuckled and ruffled his hair. He quickly smoothed it out again and Paul looked at me. I was quite confused, it was that look you give someone when you're waiting for something. Then I remembered and felt a little stupid.
"Uh Billy-"
"Yeah!" I laughed
"Uh you know how I said that um... Paul couldn't make it?" He gave me a confused look.
"Yeeeeaaaah?"
"Well um," I looked at Paul, and Paul looked at me a little confused. I'd thought he would explain but he wasn't budging. So, I sighed and ripped off his mustache.
"OW! Bleedin'-"
"OHMYGODIT'SPAULMAHERMNMM!" Billy shouted with his words conjoined together, but then getting cut off by my hand getting slapped over his mouth. I giggled when I caught a glance at Paul's face. One word, mortified. After Billy calmed down, they more formally acquainted, talked about music, such and such. When we were leaving, Paul signed a sticker for Billy's guitar and Billy apologized for calling him a shmuck. I had to promise next time to bring all of them or just John.
When Paul and I got into the car, he was fumbling for his keys and I was silent. "Now or never, Holly" I thought to myself. I never told anybody and me and my father never talked about it either. Khyle, Charolette, Ralph, Margeretta, Leon, Zeke, Ann, I never told them. The only person I every told is Marlene, Marlene Robinson.
"So what did'ja-"
"I never met my mother." I blurted out, interrupting Paul. Shit, well that's just fab. I mentally sighed at myself, so stupid. Oh well might as well keep going.
"What?" I took a deep breath and explained.
My father, Arthur or Art, always told me that mother, Talia, was a magical gypsy-princess. In our little New Orleans home, he would tell me that she wasn't here because she was a magical gypsy who helped different kingdoms when they were in trouble because of war or whatever he could think of. Of course being five, I thought this was true and believed it for a long time. The only things I remembered of my mom were how she would sing to me with her beautiful voice when I was a baby and she would dance to music on the record player so majestically, so I honestly thought this was true.
When I started school, I made friends with one, Marlene or Marley Robinson. She was a very free-spirited and fun-loving person, and loved the outdoors. So did I, so we naturally clicked. We would sit in my back-yard and play or talk about my mom. She would always say she would want to meet my mom, and I would say we will when she comes back. We both loved the idea of being free as a bird, flying to where ever we wanted to and would make little bird-houses or other things to see what would come by. We were the best of friends and I had the greatest life, then high school came.
Much of high school was the same as before, hanging out and playing records or sleeping over at one another's house. Sure school was a little tougher, but I was smart and hey, it's high school! Then, the boy craze came in (girls you know what I mean). In junior year, Marley started to become the one girl at school who would sleep around with anybody and everybody. I hated who she was becoming but I stuck around, because we were best friends and she was still the same old Marley. She even introduced me to Khyle, which was one of the greatest things that happened to me.
On the first day for senior year, she said she 'found herself' on this road trip her whole family went on and got a steady boyfriend, Ross. He was in college, but I was just happy that she wasn't sleeping around anymore. I was on top of the world, my friend was back to normal, my grades were good, I had Khyle, it was as it should be! Then I noticed something, she kept on asking and talking about my mom a lot. Not like we used to, not like 'wouldn't be great to me a gypsy princess' or 'would that mean aren't you a princess too?' It was questions about if 'I was pagan' or if my dad was an alcoholic' and 'if I heard anything about my mom'. It didn't make any sense, it was just a sudden spike of all these questions. I decided to end it by asking why she was asking all these questions, she would dare lie to me. I was right, she said my mom wasn't a gypsy-princess and she just left me and my dad to be 'hippie'.
I knew my mom wasn't a magical princess or whatever, but I refused to believe the fact that my mom would just flat out leave me and my dad. Of what I remembered, there was know yelling or fighting and she loved me. I yelled at Marley and she yelled at me back and showed me a news article. It was of some lady that died, I did get the chance to read it before she told me to ask my dad if he recognize her. The women in the picture looked a lot like me and I read the name the name at the bottom of the page.
Talia Meadow.
Talia.
I ran out of my room and down the stairs, temporarily forgetting about Marley. When I got down stairs my father asked me what was wrong and I showed him the article angerly. I started to cry when I saw the look on his face, horrified and heart-broken. I demanded an explanation and got it one shortly after Marley came down the stairs. My mom and dad were some of the first hippies ever and when my mom figured out about her being pregnant, they tried to settle down. The first year was great with me he said, that there was no problems and no fighting. Until one day she wrote a note saying that she loved my dad and me and that she wasn't ready to settled down yet and she couldn't be a good parent and left. After that explanation, I sat with Marley and cried. 'I can't believe she just left' I thought.
I eventually fixed myself up and in a couple of weeks, I was good as new. Happy as ever! I realized that I had so many other great things going on and I shouldn't be upset over something I couldn't control. For a couple weeks, everything was fab! Until Khyle decided to purpose.
I admit, I thought about my mother when this came up. I thought 'I am 17, my mother was 18. I don't think it'll work out', but then I remembered that I am in love with this man, or so I thought. I hesitated and Khyle spoke up, saying that we should talk about what ever going on in my head. I remember laughed and stroking his red hair, telling I didn't know, because we were really young. For some reason he lashed out, saying that we weren't that younger and we were old enough to make these decisions. I got upset and argued back, furious at his reaction. Then I realized that he wasn't purposing to forever love me, he was purposing to make a point. I don't know for who, but I saw what was going to happen.
A few weeks later, my dad told me about his work moving to England. He told me that he would have to quit or move there. So, we both decided that we would have to move, me at age 17 going on 18. I applied for a university there and I got in, thankfully, and we said good-bye to everyone, Marley and my dad's friends, and we left. Saying good-bye to all that I ever knew.
After that everything picked up. My dad got promoted and I found my best friends ever at university: Charolette, Zeke, Margaretta, Leon and Ann, I even met Ralph there! I found the best summer job ever and everything was great. Then I Ralph hit me, I met the Beatles and-
"Wow..." Paul said looking down after I told him everything. I knew there was nothing else he could say, it was quite the journey. I lifted up his chin, me the passenger seat, and gave him a warm smile.
"But I'm still here..." He returned the smile and we headed up to apartment L.
A/N: ... Well, Howdy! I know, I know "WTF, ITS BEEN LIKE A MONTTH"! Well, I got three reasons: school, writer's block and laziness. I wish I could say more but all i can say is this is my least favourite chapter yet. So, for u folks expecting an apology:
-I'm Sorry
-Je suis desole (excuse the accents)
-Lo Seinto
-Przykro mi
-Mi dispiace
-gomen'nasai
-es tut mir leid
Hopefully, i'll manage to learn from this mistake to get better at uploading and writing chapters. Sorry if u cant read the italics. Wel, bye-bye ;) 3 u guys!
Ps. shelpel98... your my favourite person on the internet 3
P.p.s. now that you mention it! U guys can leave reviews if u want.. i was going to mention it on the last chapter (u know, sum up the whole story), but if u might want to see something (im going to have a suggestion chapter some time) or if u just really like it, show the love!
Peace n' Love
~4DahCookies