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"Oh baby I don't feel so good."
Puck emerged from their bathroom, dragging his feet and pouting. He was clad in his bathrobe and pressing his hand to his forehead.
"Aw Noah, sweetie what's wrong?" Rachel asked affectionately, making her way around their bed to him.
"I think I'm-cough-sick," he muttered pathetically, "I must've caught-cough-something at the sh-cough-op." Rachel pressed her own hand to his forehead, feeling that he was in fact a little warm.
"Oh no! Let me get the thermometer," she said heading to the bathroom. While her back was turned, Puck quickly pulled the penny out from under his tongue, gagging on the terrible after taste.
"Here we go baby.," she cooed as she gently placed it under his tongue. Puck waited patiently for it to beep, praying to the Lord above that it would show a fever. Finally it stopped and Rachel pulled it out.
"Huh," she said strangely, looking at the thermometer curiously.
"What uh, what's it say?" Puck asked, trying to hide the anxiousness in his voice.
"Well that's the odd part," Rachel said turning it to him, "Apparently you're a hundred and ten degrees." Puck stared at the digital numbers, shaking his head sadly.
"Wow, I did not think it was that bad," he said sighing, "I really need to get in bed fast." He turned to crawl in when he was tugged back.
"Really Noah? You think I'm falling for this?" she asked agitated.
"Rach, honey I'm sick-"
"Noah, honey you're lying," she said flatly, "Just because you don't want to go to my dads'-"
"Oh is that tonight?" he asked forcing surprise, "Damn, guess I'll have to miss out."
"Oh no you wont!" she snapped, "Noah, you're going to this dinner."
"Rachel, can't you see that I'm practically dying here," he moaned.
"Practically what? You stuck the thermometer under hot water and probably shoved a nickel in your mouth-
"-penny, actually-
"-the point is," Rachel said sternly, "is that you will be there when I tell them about this baby."
"Rachel they don't even like me," Puck groaned, burying his head under his pillow.
"What are you talking about? They love you!" Rachel insisted, sitting down by her husband. Puck lifted the pillow above his head and rolled his eyes.
"Now who's kidding who?" he asked, "They cant stand me, ever since they found out we did it before you were married-"
"-that was a big deal for them, I broke their trust-
"-and I broke your hymen, point is-"
"Noah please!" Rachel scowled. He sighed, pulling the pillow back over his face.
"I'm not going!" he mumbled through it. Rachel huffed, then thought of an idea.
"Fine," she said perking up, "you won't go over there, so I'll just bring them here." She reached for the phone and began dialing, Puck springing up in the meantime.
"No!" he screeched as he dived for the phone. Rachel got up and darted across the bedroom, dialing her father's number quickly.
"Rachel!" she heard him call, making his way after her. She laughed as she sprinted down the hall, running inside the guest room and shutting the door.
"Dad, its me," she said as Puck continued shouting, "I was wondering, about tonight-"
"-Rachel don't do it-"
"-it seems Noah is a bit under the weather-"
"-WWRD Rachel! What would a rabbi do?-
"-and he is just not up to trekking outside the house-"
"-I will force you to become a single mother-"
"-so I thought it'd be best if you and dad came here tonight!"
"-aaaaaaand we're through."
"Perfect! See you at seven!"
Rachel opened the door and made her way back to her bedroom, finding Puck tying his tie.
"You're wearing that to dinner?" she asked confused.
"No," he said sharply, "I'm hanging myself. Tell my mom I loved her." Rachel grabbed the tie from his hands and smacked him with it repeatedly.
"Why are you being so immature?" she bit out.
"Ow, shit, ow stop that!" he yelled. Rachel let out a noise that sounded like a growl and Puck backed away.
"Look, there's a lot going on right now. You're obviously shape shifting into your true werewolf form, and I'm not gonna lie its turning me on." Rachel walked closer to him, wishing she could smack him upside his head.
"So here's what I'm gonna do for you. I'm gonna head in the bathroom, away from you, and then I'm gonna get dressed for dinner and meet you downstairs, ok?" Rachel smiled and nodded.
"Good choice," she said as if he were a child, "and maybe tonight, while you sleep, I won't claw your face off."
"Baby I'm not down with bestiality, you know this," he joked, quickly dashing into the bathroom as Rachel went to yell.
"I'm gonna get you back for this Noah!"
Rachel was humming and singing to herself, pulling back the covers and climbing into bed. She gently fluffed her pillow and laid back, closing her eyes and preparing to drift off. She heard large footsteps coming up the stairs and giggled to herself, wondering just what he would say when he saw her.
"Erectile Dysfunction?" he almost screamed, "You told your dad's we had to use In Vitro because I have erectile dysfunction?" Rachel tried to contain her laughter, but the sight of him holding up a bottle of little blue pills sent her over the edge.
"Told you I would get you back," she sung. Puck chunked the bottle in the trash then angrily threw his shirt and jeans off.
"Well thanks babe, now they think we have a suck ass sex life," he murmured, crawling in on the other side.
"It doesn't matter what they think," she said grinning, "Isn't that what you've always said?"
"Isn't that what you've always said," he mocked her, "I don't like people thinking that crap about me." Rachel rolled over and began rubbing his back.
"Aw, is someone wounded?" Puck shook her off, burying himself deep under the covers.
"I'm not talking to you the rest of the night," he glowered. Rachel just laughed and gently kissed the back of his head.
"Goodnight Noah."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, night Rachel…and baby."