Disclaimer: There is 9 days to a new episode of Grey's Anatomy. If it was my show...there'd be 9 minutes. No 9 seconds. No 9 milliseconds. Because I'm desperate for a new Grey's Anatomy episode, and I'm pretty sure you are all too.

So apparently people don't like when I leave cliffs. Lol. I never ever leave cliffs and I just did. And apparently my fans are not fans of cliffhanger. Never realized that one before. But yes, Derek and Ryan didn't like eachother from the first second they saw eachother...and now Derek was about to kiss Ryan's girlfriend and he caught them. So yes...that was a cliff. Because well Ryan isn't about to say how happy he is to see Derek again.

And in even more fun news...this chapter is being told from Ryan's perspective. Because I think it's about time that you get to know him a little better. We know that Meredith think he's safe and that she loves him, or at least thinks she does, but we have no idea what's going on inside Ryan's head. So yeah...here he is.

Enjoy!

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Meredith and I were happy.

Okay, maybe not happy. We had been happy, really happy at one time. But then she had finished med school and started working at Seattle Grace. I may not be as smart as Meredith and her doctor friends, but I also wasn't stupid. I knew being an intern would take a lot of her time. I knew that. I just hadn't expected this much of her time. And I hadn't known she would find all these new friends and have even less time for me. So maybe we weren't happy. But we did love eachother. And love was enough.

Or at least it was until I went to her house and found her tangled up on the couch with that neurosurgeon. I had never liked how he looked at her. And now I had to not like how she looked at him.

"Umm hi..." the neurosurgeon said from on top of her.

I chose to ignore him. Because if I didn't ignore him I might say something stupid, or even worse do something stupid. Like punch him. And as much as I hated whatever it was that he shared with my girlfriend, I got that he was her boss now. And because of that, I couldn't punch him. It would be bad. And wouldn't actually make Meredith and I any happier than we were now. "Meredith..." I said, hearing the anger resonating in my voice.

"Ryan," she said, not even trying to move away from her position underneath him. She looked to comfortable for my liking. Too much like she liked being there.

"I think we need to talk," I said, actually shocked at how calm my voice sounded.

"Ummm...I think that I'm going to go," Derek said, finaling move off from on top of my girlfriend. "Meredith, I'll see you later. Call me if you need me?" he said, as he squeezed her hand. She gives him a small smile. Why this Derek seems to think my girlfriend would need him I'm not quite sure.

As soon as Derek leaves guilt flashes over Meredith's face. Her eyes are brimming with tears and there was a time I would have pulled her into my arms. But the thought of her in that other man's arms were still to fresh on my mind. "Ryan, it's not what it looked like," she finally said.

"So my girlfriend wasn't about to kiss another man?" I asked, anger stinging my voice.

"Okay, maybe it is, but..." Meredith said in a quiet voice.

"Meredith, right now I don't think I want to hear it. Maybe I should just go," I said, turning to look towards the door. Running wasn't my thing, I stuck. I was a sticker. Communication, talking, being there, I had always been good at those things. I was that guy. But right now I didn't know I could be that guy.

"Ryan, it was nothing!" she said from behind me.

"You were on the couch about to stick your tongue down his throat Mer!" I said. Giving her time to be a doctor was one thing. I hated it but knew it was part of her and our life. But she didn't need time to make out with another guy.

"Ryan, we just got caught up in the moment," Meredith said, back to talking quietly.

"A moment?" I said, hearing the disgust on my voice.

"Ryan it was nothing. Derek and I...we're just friends. Nothing more. Friends," she said.

"You were about to kiss him!" I rarely got this angry, I never got this angry. It wasn't me. But I had never been in this position before.

'It was nothing. He's...Derek...he means nothing to me. He's just a friend. That thing on the couch, it was a mistake. A really big mistake. He's married. He has a wife, Ryan. And his wife is glorious, she's something else. He doesn't want me. He just...he just wants to be friends. What you saw...it was nothing." She's crying now, not sobbing, just silently crying and I hate myself for making her cry. She was Meredith, my Meredith. She wouldn't cheat on me, especially not with a married man. I was an ass.

"You swear?" I said finally, all the anger drained from my voice.

"Ryan, I love you." Meredith said back, nodding her head at me.

"You have a funny way of showing it," I said, not really wanting to make the fight any longer but for some reason unable to stop myself.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Meredith said, anger now tinging her voice.

"I never see you anymore," I said quietly.

"Ryan, I have a job, I'm busy," she says back.

"I know, but now this Derek guy is..." don't know how to finish the sentence without making it sound like I was accusing her of cheating again.

"Peeing all over your territory?" Meredith said with a small giggle.

"I guess," I said with a shrug.

"I'm sorry you feel threatened, really sorry. But I'm not giving Derek up, Ryan. I like him. He's a friend. I don't want to lose that, I don't want to lose him," Meredith said in a quiet voice.

"Okay," I respond quietly. Even though it's not okay. Because there is something between Meredith and Derek, even if she denies it. Even if he's married and she loves me. There's something there. In the few seconds I had seen them together, I knew something was there. But I love Meredith, and if she says that nothing is going on, I trust her. Because she wouldn't cheat, she wouldn't fall in love with a married man. That's not my Meredith. So if she wanted to friends with Derek, if she needed Derek to be her friend, than I had to trust her.

Because maybe just maybe, giving her this, would make things a little better between us.

Like enemies at war we build defences and secret hiding places.

So overall I think this chapter is crap. Sorry. Okay, actually upon reading it it's not as bad as I originally thought but still, I'm less than in love with it. But I guess it work. Ryan is less than happy about what he saw, but he loves Meredith so he trust that she wouldn't cheat on him with a married man, but he's still feeling quite threatened about the whole situation. But he loves her so he's willing to give her this in hopes that it will make her happy. And at the same time, Meredith is sad because she has to tell Ryan that nothing is going on, she has to convince herself that nothing is going on. She has to admit it's nothing. But Ryan thinks she's upset about him. And well she's not. So really neither of them are on the same page but they think they are...at least Ryan thinks they are.

The next update will be up later tonight probably.

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