A..N: Longest. Chapter. crazy-difficult chapter to write, and as a result, as usual, I have my doubts with it. Constructive criticism is welcome now more than ever. Oh, and this is another Puck-centric chapter. Hopefully it'll explain his actions more, and besides, my sadistic little heart just loves seeing him squirm with guilt. Also, thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter!
Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own anything.
Jigsaw Pieces
Chapter Ten
You know that karma thing people were always talking about? Well, turns out it really is a bitch—like, Santana Lopez level of bitchy. It's the Saturday after that little scene in the hallway where Berry bitch-slapped the hell out of him (not that he'd ever admit that), and the past two days? Aint been pretty in the least.
But before he gets into all that, here's the real deal here: All those things he said to Berry? Not true. Her being the reason for this whole mess? Yeah, now that was pretty messed-up logic, even for him. But he won't lie, he had been pissed at her. Like majorly angry. Did she really have to worm her way into every part of his life? They were sort-of friends (maybe) but that didn't give her the right to go ahead and do what she did. He was doing fine on his own; he didn't need her help. And anyway, how the hell did she even think that singing would fix everything? They aren't in a Disney movie, you know.
(That's a shit excuse and he knows it. He knows she was only trying to help him, and can list out excuses all he wants, but point is, he was out of line that Thursday. But if you tell anyone that he admits it, he'll pummel you.)
It takes him until today to realize the real reason why he'd been so mad at her: because apart from her inability to shut up and breathe like a human, Rachel Berry never stops demanding better from him. It isn't the first time someone's tried to push him to fix things, to be better. But this is the first time he's had someone try so hard for him, and he's never really had that before. Plus, he hates to admit it but she's someone he might actually consider listening to, and fuck, it kinda freaks him out because Puck? So doesn't do listening.
He shouldn't feel guilty. He doesn't want to feel guilty. It's only Berry, after all. But he does feel guilty, and that's where the problem is.
(He's never really felt that much of urge to be better before. With Quinn and the kid, he stepped up 'cuz it was the right thing to do, but apart from that, nothing. How did the midget with the knee socks and a voice that was annoying when it wasn't singing manage to change all that?)
Great, he thinks with a groan. He's beginning to sound like a girl again, so while he recovers some of the manliness he might've lost, he might as well go back to the whole karma thing:
He didn't get hit by a car or anything like that—apparently, the rules of karma (whatever the hell those are) didn't work the same way for him. No, apparently the universe has been paying attention to how much of a fuck-up he's been lately, so now it's decided to heap a heaping plate of shit on him, and they choose the worst way to do it.
They hit him with a freaking conscience, so now he's been spending most of his time between feeling guilty over the stuff he said to Berry, and trying to ignore said guilt.
(Puck's beginning to think that getting hit by a car would've been easier.)
Here's the theory Puck's beginning to come up with about this conscience thing: It's slow and quiet, but it'll eat him alive before his next birthday if he doesn't do something about it. Today's Monday, four days after The Slap, and now he can safely say that either he really is going crazy or Rachel Berry is full-on psycho when she's mad.
Why? Because he keeps seeing her everywhere today. After three days of her giving him the ice-cold silent treatment, suddenly she's popping up everywhere—in the hallways, in the classes he bothers to attend, even in the parking lot. And okay, maybe he's imagining some of it, but he's pretty sure he isn't imagining those weird looks she gives them when they accidentally make eye-contact.
When she's mad, like really seriously pissed off, she'll give whoever she's mad at the silent treatment for a few days then proceed to show up everywhere until the unfortunate sap who pissed her off cracks. He works her M.O. out by lunchtime, and it just makes his mood worse.
It's a simple equation, really. Guilt + Irritation because of guilt = People better run.
He's not stupid. He knows she wants him to apologize, and while he so doesn't do apology, if that's what it takes to get rid of these….feelings, then so be it. But apparently, karma isn't done playing around with him yet, so he doesn't see her anywhere for the rest of the day. He doesn't see her at all on Tuesday too, and by now he's convinced that someone up there must really hate him.
"Dude," Matt tells him after their last class. "You've been looking like hell since last week. What's up?"
"Nothing," he says with a scowl. "Just a thing with Berry, no big----"
Matt groans and replies, "I'm almost afraid to ask, but what did you do?"
He just shrugs and says, "Nothing, I just said some things to her after that singing with Finn thing and now she's mad at me."
"That's it?" Matt says, giving Puck this weird look that he doesn't get. "That's why you look like you haven't slept in days? Because Rachel's mad at you?"
Puck doesn't like the sudden grin Matt gets on his face.
"Don't get go there, Rutherford," he warns, though he's not too sure what 'there' means. "Look, I told you, it's not a big deal."
"Oh, it is," he retorts simply. "If you look like that, then she must've really gotten to you. Look dude, just apologize to her already. The sooner you get it over with, the sooner everyone can get back to not living in fear for their lives."
Does everyone really think he doesn't know that yet?
"School's over; maybe you could try going to her house?" Matt suggests. Puck gives him a look.
"Why would I do that?" he asks, almost blankly. "Nah, I'll do it over the phone. If I actually go to her house, she'll think I'm…making an effort or something."
Matt shakes his head, and his expression clearly says, 'Am I really friends with this guy?'. "Uh, you're supposed to make an effort since, oh, I don't know, you're the one who screwed up. Just go to her house and beg for her forgiveness already." He shrugs. "Hey, maybe a miracle will happen today and she'll actually forgive you instead of kicking you in the 'nads. You never know 'till you try."
Apart from sticking him with the worst possible punishment, karma also has the worst timing. He'd finally convinced himself to go to Rachel's house to apologize, but as he was walking to the parking lot, his mother had called.
"Noah, I'm going to be working late tonight and Mrs. Johnson can't take Gabby for the rest of the afternoon," she'd told him. "Can you please pick her up and stay with her today?"
His mom could pull out a major guilt-trip when she felt like it, and since he's already had enough of that, he agrees, cursing the world as he snaps his phone shut. When he meets a red light on the way to pick up his sister, he thinks that he might as well get this whole thing over with today. No point in dragging it out any longer.
So he fishes for his phone and scrolls until he finds Berry's number. To hell with what Matt said, he's just gonna call her. At least that way he won't seem so desperate. If Berry knew he'd been this bothered, she'd never let him forget it.
Besides, a phone call is better than nothing.
"Hello, you've reached Rachel Berry. Unfortunately, I can't come to the phone right now, so leave a message after the beep!"
Scowling, he waits for the beep before saying, "Hey, Berry...it's uh, me. Puck. Listen, I don't what the hell I'm doing right now, but, uh….anyway, about what I said after Glee. I was just pissed and Finn punching me didn't help and you were there and…okay, that sounded weird. Look, I guess what I'm saying is that-----"
Beep. Beep.
Puck scowls again. Absolutely fan-fucking-tastic.
He's used to watching his sister. Hell, he's been doing it since their dad walked out on them. Gabby isn't that bad, actually---you know, when she isn't awake.
Gabby's upstairs doing homework right now though, thank god. He, on the other hand, is bored out of his mind. He'd just finished off a sandwich when the doorbell rings. "Gabby, get the door!" he yells from the kitchen.
"I thought you wanted me to stay in my room!" his sister yells back from upstairs. Rolling his eyes, he washes his hands, walks back to the living room and opens the front door.
And stares.
And stares a little bit more.
Which, you know, isn't surprising, considering that Rachel Berry's standing on his doorstep with a tray of cookies with 'I'm Sorry' written all over them in blue icing.
"Wha---"
"Here," she pushes the tray towards him, her voice sounding normal—well, normal for her. "These are for you. To apologize for slapping you. No matter what the circumstances are, violence is abhorrent and I should've never responded like I did."
"Uh----" Three words, people: What. The. Hell?
"Although you very much deserved that slap and at the moment I'm not sure if wasting all these ingredients on someone who basically blamed me for all his troubles was the wisest thing to do, what with the recent economic meltdown and all," she adds conversationally, as if she's talking about the weather, and Puck's pretty sure he's opened his door to some weird alternate universe.
"But," she finishes, even giving him the smallest of smiles. "I've decided to be the bigger man—er, woman, and make the first move because while I don't how much value they hold for you, I tend to hold my friendships—however fragile they might be—with the greatest importance."
The smile gets bigger, and on top of confused, he suddenly feels, well, bad is the only way to describe it (like he wasn't feeling worse enough already). Think about it: he was an ass to her and yet she's the one apologizing and making all this effort. It's uncomfortable, that weird feeling snaking through him and----
A light bulb turns on in his head, and suddenly, he gets it.
When she gives him an expectant smile, he's definitely sure that she'd done this cookie thing on purpose to worm an apology out of him. Huh. And he thought he was the master at making people feel bad.
"I received your message," she informs him. "Although it cut off before you finished. Is there something you wanted to add, Noah?"
He stares at her for one long moment. "You," he tells her with a shake of his head. "You are definitely something else, Berry."
She raises an eyebrow but before she can reply, a loud voice from inside suddenly shouts, "Noah!"
Crap. He'd know that little brat's voice anywhere—so much for making her stay in her room. Before he knows it, his sister's sneaked into the space beside him. "Noah, what—hey, who're you?" she adds when she sees Rachel.
"No one, now go inside and have a snack or something," he orders, hoping he sounds threatening enough. The last thing he needs right now is Gabby talking to Rachel. One hyperactive crazy, he might be able to handle, but two at the same time?
One of his worst nightmares.
"Hi!" his traitor little sister says with a bright smile. "My name's Gabriella, but everyone calls me Gabby."
Berry crouches down to her level and replies, "Gabriella? Like the High School Musical character?"
He tries to hide a snicker. Wrong thing to say, Berry.
Gabby's smile turns into a scowl. "Ugh. I hate it when people say that. Even though some of the songs are cool, High School Musical is still lame and the acting's bad." After awhile, she adds, wrinkling her nose in disgust, "Plus, the girl who plays Gabriella has naked pictures on the internet. I know—I saw Noah looking at them once. That's just gross."
Rachel's eyes widen and if Puck didn't feel like murdering his sister right now, he would've smirked. There ya go, Berry---welcome to the realization that my little sister is not normal.
"I'm…sorry," Rachel finally replies as she stands upright, her tone a bit choked. "I'll call you…Gabby, was it? I'm Rachel. I'm in Glee with your brother."
"Hi again!" The bright smile returns on her face, and he's seriously beginning to wonder why his sister seems to have bipolar tendencies. Huh. Must've started when he accidentally dropped her when she was a baby.
"So," she says seriously, eyes looking straight at her. "Are you my brother's girlfriend? You're pretty." Before Berry can reply, Gabby turns and, seeing the tray in his hands, asks Rachel, "Did you make these?"
"Yes," Berry answers with a smile, and Puck suddenly wonders if she heard Gabby's other sentence. "I made them as a peace offering to your brother even though he was the one who committed the offence against me, but---anyway, go ahead and try one if you want."
"I'm not sure what you just said, but okay," Gabby says with a shrug. She takes one cookie and takes a bite.
And in the next instant, his little sister begins staring at Rachel like she's some freaking goddess or something. It's such a classic Puck move to be won over by food.
Shit.
"These are amazing! I don't know why you want to date my brother because he's a big idiot, but I like you," Gabby tells her simply. "You make great cookies and you seem nice. Not like Noah's old girlfriend Santana. She has a funny name and all she does is make loud noises in Noah's bedroom."
Rachel's eyes widen again and she hisses, "What kind of example are you setting for your sister?"
"Oh, don't worry 'bout that, Rachel," Gabby says with a grin. "Noah teaches me all sorts of things. Like, last week there was this boy in my class who kept pulling my hair. It's so kindergarten, right? Anyway, Noah taught me how to kick properly and which part to kick, so now Tim doesn't come near me. Serves him right for being an ass."
"Gabby," he says, looking at his sister. "What did I tell you about swearing?"
She considers that for a moment. "To not do it." After a beat, she adds, "in front of mom." Then she grins a grin that's so like his own and he actually feels proud.
Rachel looks like she wants to throw her head in her hands and it just makes him even smugger. Gabby pushes the door open wider and they all step inside the house. "So you're in Glee club too, right? Wait," she pauses, looking at Berry for a second. "Are you the lead? The one Noah says makes him want to light himself on fire?"
Berry raises an eyebrow at him and he smirks in reply.
He's not quite sure how it all happens but all of a sudden Gabby's talking a mile a minute and pulling on Rachel's arm. It's only when Gabby drags Berry upstairs to her room that it hits him that he's holding a tray of cookies that say, "I'm Sorry" but really should've had the words, "I'm about to mess with your head" on them instead.
Shrugging, he sets the tray down in the kitchen and eats one of Berry's evil little instruments of mind-screwing. What? It does taste like heaven and hey, he figures it might as well be good for something.
He's not sure what time it is anymore, but it feels like ages when Berry finally comes downstairs. "She's just finishing something," she tells him as they sit on opposite sides of the couch. "Your sister's quite a handful."
"Little devil is what she is," he mutters. "She likes you, you know," he tells her. "One cookie, and it's like you're suddenly the Queen of Cool."
She rolls her eyes. "Well, I like her. Gabby's very bright, and very amusing. Although I don't quite approve of the values you've been teaching her." He doesn't reply, and just like that….hello, awkward silence.
"Look, Berry," he finally begins, running a hand through his 'hawk because seriously, he has no idea what he's doing right now. He'd been fine with the phone call, but now…."I didn't mean what I said, okay? I was just pissed—it just came out, you know?"
"Nevertheless," she replies, not even looking at him. "If it just happened to 'come out', then surely you've thought of it before? You've probably had that idea in your head for some time now."
"No," he says, frustrated. Seriously, is he really that hard to believe? "What I said was pretty messed up, even for me. You just…you're weird, you know that?"
"I've been told that a few times," she says with a wry smile. "You do realize you're not helping yourself right now," she points out.
"Yeah, so---"
"Look, Noah, all I'm waiting for is two words, and if you can't even extend the courtesy of saying it to me, then I'm obviously wasting my time here." She stands up. "Please tell your sister goodbye for me—she's a very sweet girl."
It happens fast—almost like a blur. Berry takes one step—and trips right over one of Gabby's toys that she hadn't seen before. He doesn't even think about it, he just stands up and catches her. It takes all of five seconds for him to realize the position they're in: his hands on her waist, her hand on his chest. For awhile they just look at each other in surprise, but that doesn't stop him from tracing the curve of her waist with his thumb (after all, he's Puck and he's never been one to miss an opportunity for a feel.)
"Look," he murmurs, and why the hell is he breathing faster again? "I'm sorry for what I said, okay?"
She considers that. "You actually said it, and more importantly, it sounded like you meant it," she says, and slowly she begins to smile. "Huh."
Her eyebrow furrows, and he wonders, what now? "What?"
"I was mistaken. You do have a heart. After all, I can feel the evidence." And he's suddenly very, very aware of her hand on his heart, and the room suddenly feels hot and crap—what the hell is happening to him?
She must've realized it too because she abruptly pulls away and just like that, their super-weird, super-cliché, and super-cheesy 'moment' is over. Berry's face is a little flushed and he's not quite sure why but he feels kinda pleased by that.
"So, what," he says, clearing his throat. "Am I forgiven now or something?"
She recovers quickly, though, and actually rolls her eyes. "Of course not. Just because I've accepted your apology, doesn't mean you're off the hook. Your words really hurt me, Noah, and it's going to take a lot more than two words to fix it. Although it's a start."
She puts herself right and smoothens out her skirt, just as Gabby comes downstairs to the living room. "Aw, are you leaving?" she asks with a pout. Instantly, she turns to him with a look. "What stupid thing did you do this time?"
Berry laughs and shakes her head. "Nothing, Gabby. On the contrary he did exactly what I hoped he would do. Actually," she gives him a glance. "If he'd said it sooner I would've left earlier, but apparently your brother likes making himself suffer. But it was very nice to meet you."
"You too!" she says enthusiastically, and Puck suddenly wants to strangle something because his sister and Berry being friends is a sure sign of the apocalypse. "You should come over again soon—then we can watch a movie or something."
"Absolutely," Rachel agrees. "Well, I should go. I'll see my way out." And giving them one last smile, she leaves their house. Gabby gives him a look before going back upstairs, muttering about 'not being a gentleman', and as for him? Well, he's left in the living room pretty much wondering what the hell just happened.
The silent treatment. Seeing her everywhere. Bringing cookies to make him feel even guiltier. That super-cheesy moment that made him feel all weird and stuff. It all fits.
Dude. Rachel Berry just mindfucked him….into apologizing to her.
He hates to admit it but that's pretty badass, and if he hadn't been too busy feeling annoyed, he'd feel kinda impressed.