A/n: okay. So apparently I'm an awful person. I would give you guys some cruddy excuse for why I haven't updated in over a year. So if you haven't decided my story isn't worth waiting a decade for each chapter than here's the next one, yay! Seriously though, I'm sorry. WARNING: INTENSE OOCness.

Disclaimer: I do not own deathnote or mojo jojo.

Near slowly opened his eyes. He wasn't sure when he passed out, but he did. Last time he was conscious he was in a truck full of money being taken away from prison. But, despite his greatest efforts, he couldn't remember who had taken him.

Suddenly a LIGHT flickered on, filling the room with LIGHT. The walls were all LIGHT tones. LIGHT blue, LIGHT green, LIGHT pink. Whoever had taken Near was indeed a master of trickery, as there were no hints that could possibly have any relavence to the culprit.

Out of the only shadowy part of the room came two figures.

"Well looks like you three have finally woken up," Light smiled.

"Yeah you big dumby dumb dumb dumb stupid fat ugly dumb stupid ugly fat losers that are fat and ugly and stupid and ugly and fat and stupid and..uh… FAT!" Misa mocked.

"Yeah, anyways, it has come to my attention that you three are L's heirs." Light continued, "though it would be easy to kill all through of you with my Death Note now that I have your ID's and have seen your faces, I thought it'd-"

"You have a death note?" questioned Matt.

" Yes peasant because I am-"

"THE MUFFIN MAN!" screamed Mello, who was already in chocolate withdrawl.

"Yeah…" said Light, " anyway, I thought-"

"He's not just any muffin man! He's the eat my muffins or I'll kill you because I'm just that super incredibly cool Muffin man!" Misa interrupted.

"anyway i-" Light began.

" He, Light Yagami, is the ultimate muffin man, because that ultimate muffin man, which is he, Light Yagami, can only be Light Yagami, because Light Yagami, is the most ultimate Muffin man and so Light Yagami is the ultimate muffin man as The ultimate muffin man is-" Misa ranted like Mojo Jojo.

"ANYWAY! I thought that it'd be more fun to test if your mental abilities even had a chance of defeating me before I kill you." Light yelled, " you will be forced to face several impossible challenges, and when you fail you die." Suddenly a spotlight came on to a large glass door as the three boys were forced through it.

Behind the door was a room with nothing in it except for a cupboard full of… cereal.

" We're done for!" shrieked Mello.

"I don't like cereal!" moaned Near.

"Ooh, motorcycle Os." Said Matt. Matt grabbed the cereal box. Suddenly the floor began to retract into the walls.

"Crap!" Mello bellowed. The trio fell into the dark pit.

"What kind of challenge was that?" Matt yelled.

"Shut up you fat stu-" Misa was cut off by Light, who was desperately trying to avoid wasting anymore time.

"They'll get harder." Light said, and with that the two disappeared out of sight.

Suddenly the lights turned on and the boys were sitting in a small damp prison cell. About three feet outside the bars was a banana, a cell phone, and a truck.

"Listen up!" Light's voice boomed from above, "just outside your reach are three items, you must find a way to reach them and then choose one, choose right and you'll move on to the next challenge, pick wrong and it will blow up the second you touch it."

"That's easy, " said Near, " the right choice will help us escape, thus we should choose-"

Unfortunately Near was cut off by Matt reaching through the bars and grabbing the banana and screaming "Bananas are worth bonus points!"

"Matt nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" screamed Mello. Luckily Matt was wearing gloves and so the banana never actually touched him. Light, feeling cheated by this, detonated it via remote, but not before matt had panicked and thrown it at the prison bars.

"HA! TAKE THAT YOU LOSER WE BEAT YOUR STUPID PRISON OF MUFFINY EVIL!" Mello hollered as he walked through the opening created when the bars blew up.

"You guys are so mean!" wailed Light as the boys got on the elevator that suddenly appeared. Of course the challenges weren't over because who stops a series of challenges at 2.

The elevator stopped a few stories up and opened up to an empty concrete room. As the boys piled out of the elevator holes opened up in the walls and water started blasting out.

"OH MY GOD! THE OCEAN CAME ALL THE WAY HERE JUST TO HELP US! THANK YOU OCEAN!"A mentally deteriorating Matt squealed as the water level rose up to their waists.

"WELL MUFFIN MAN, YOU MAY HAVE US CORNERED NOW BUT JUST YOU WAIT UNTIL I GET MY BUTT UP THAT EXIT, THEN WE'LL SEE WHO'S LAUGHING! HA! HAHAHA!" Mello hollered.

"Wait, there's an exit?!" Near groaned. Then Near grabbed his fellow characters and climbe the ladder leading out.

The ladder of course did not lead 'out' it only lead out of that room and into the next. In this particular room there was only one, one awful horrifying terrible thing , Misa.

"Hey losers! Light said that for this challenge you guy have to fight me!" Misa shrieked as she pulled out a chainsaw. The boys then proceeded to run around screaming as Misa swung it at them.

"Wow this is hard," huffed Matt as he unwrapped some packaged cheese cake.

"This is no time for a snack!" Yelled Mello as he dramatically swatted the treat away.

"WHY!?" screamed Misa as it hit her in the face and she disintegrated.

"That was weird" said Mello as the three boys passed through the door that and apparently been in the back wall the whole time.

Near had hardly gotten through the door when fluffy the albino hedgehog attacked his face. "But I thought fluffy wasn't actually real!" Screamed Near as the hedgehog began attempting to eat his nose.

"Well now he is!" Light yelled from wherever he was. Suddenly fluffy disappeared and the boys were in a different room.

"What the hell?!" yelled Mello

"Near would you like this magical transportationy bobby pin?" said a delusional Matt.

"Nevermind, that explains everything." Said Mello.

The boys were now in what looked like an ordinary room. Other than the fact that the only piece of furniture in it was a chair.

"YES!" Hollered Near with excitement, in monotone of course. He then ran to the chair and sat down. Suddenly there was an explosion of light and the chair began to float upwards as wind dramatically made random objects previously not in the room fly around it.

"Oh no! What have I done?!" Near cried, "it's the Ultimate sit!"

"WE'RE NOT DOING ANY MORE OF THIS" Screamed Mello as he shoved Near of the chair. Suddenly MisaMisa walked into the room.

"Misa?! I thought we killed you." Said Near.

"You did kill Misa, but I'm not Misa, I'm MIisaMisa, one of her many many clones."

"Duh! Why do you think her name repeats?!" mocked a mentally unstable Matt.

"I'm done with this!" screamed Mello as he pulled some bacon out of his pocket and disintegrated MisaMisa.

Suddenly the floor opened up and the boys fell into a pit of apples.

"You guys are no fun, I still have two more chapters to cover." Sighed Light from an undisclosed location.

"dude, you can't just review every chapter in one big chapter by making us face some crappy idea from it."

"SAYS YOU!" Light screamed, " I WILL NOW RELEASE MY SHINIGAMI RYUK TO EAT YOU AND THESE APPLES!" The apples began to disappear. But then at the last second the boys used the power of the magical transportation bobby pin and teleported back to Wammy's.

So yeah that was chapter ten, I hope you liked it, sorry for the wait again, please review!