Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight and that's that.

A/N: I'm really self-consious of this chapter because there's a BJ scene in it.

So I guess you could call it a grapefruit? And orange? Some other kind of citrus-y fruit?

I dunno, don't judge, as Alex once said "Gotta keep the readers readin'!"

Speaking of which, I dedicate this chapter to Alex, rencygirl13, beautifulmonsters, Taylorlautnerfan514, xxKenizeCheerxx, iluvgandfw12, tashay789, and all the other people who love and review me!

ENJOY!

(but not too much, that would make you a sicko.)

Jacob

"Jacob, please tell me where you're taking me!" Renesmee shouted. I smiled because it was getting funnier and funnier. Renesmee was bouncing up and down like a kid on a pogo stick and she was freaking out beyond what was necessary. What'd she think? I was going to kill her and dump her body off somewhere?

I like her way too much for that.

"Just relax, you'll like it." I smiled. I pulled into the secret opening to the tiny clearing only I knew about. Every freaking time I swerved to get around a tree or tiny forest animal, Renesmee would screech and make my ears ring. "Calm down!" I called over the roar of the engine.

"Jesus Jacob!" Renesmee screamed again. I wanted to put her hand over her mouth but then that would really get her worried. Renesmee put her hands over her eyes. Good; that ought to keep her quiet. I pulled into the beginning of the clearing and closed my eyes, breathing in the fresh air it gave off.

"Open your eyes." I whispered. I wanted her to see the clearing and throw herself at me, to happy to care about that douche bag Bryan Newton.

Renesmee lifted her hands from her eyes and looked around. I could see her eyes were wide with wonder and possibly relief that I didn't plan on murdering her. She looked around and took everything in. I could see that she like this place almost as much as I did.

"What do you think?" I asked, staring at Renesmee's face, trying to get her to express some sort of gratitude… preferably physical gratitude.

"It's amazing." Renesmee whispered. She was completely dumbfounded, judging by the look on her face.

"I'm glad you like it." I said happily, leaning back in my seat and crossing my arms.

"Wh-why did you bring me here?" Renesmee stuttered. Damn. I was hoping she would just love the clearing so much she wouldn't ask why I brought her here. Though I'm sure the reason was obvious.

"Because I want you to understand something Renesmee." I started and turned my head to look at her. "You may not like me, but I like you… a lot. I want you to see me as so much more than you do, but you can't because Bryan is in the way." I felt myself sneer when I said Bryan's name and Renesmee sighed, leaning back in the passenger's seat.

"Jacob… I think you should take me back." Renesmee closed her eyes and I waited for her to say "just kidding!" and hop into my lap.

But she didn't.

She just closed her eyes and waited, quietly breathing in and out. I was so angry I couldn't contain it. I had never shared this place with anyone. Not the guys, not my dad, not my sisters. I remember my mom took me here when I was just a baby. She hiked here on her own two feet and sat in the grass with me. She swam, holding me close to her in the lagoon here.

This was the only thing I had left of my mother.

And Renesmee wanted me to take her back to school and forget about this place, forget about me.

If Renesmee was going to be cold to me, I would show her cold. I backed out of the clearing, dirt flying up in huge chunks, ruining my good mood along with the landscape.

I rolled up all the windows and turned off the heat, making it colder than the outside in my tiny car. I made sure the awkward silence ate away at her and as soon as the last bell rang I pulled up to the parking lot and unlocked the doors.

Renesmee looked like she was going to say something, but, she turned around and got out of the Rabbit. I backed out and sped off without a look back. If I hurt Renesmee's feelings, than, mission accomplished.

I was sick of chasing her around like this if she isn't even going to thank me for treating her like a freaking Pharaoh. I would have accepted a verbal "thank you" or "that's really sweet Jacob" or even "wow, thanks". That would have meant something.

But I brought her to the most sacred place to me on the face of the planet and she asked me to take her back. She asked me to take back what I'd shown her and she wanted me to feel guilty about trying to make her happy. I was so absolutely angry and enraged I couldn't even see straight.

I was angry because I put an effort into really having an emotional connection with a girl and it backfired.

I was angry because Renesmee couldn't just let herself be happy with me.

I was angry because Bryan Newton existed.

I was angry because I was alone.

I was angry because I couldn't have Renesmee and she made sure it was evidentially clear.

My cell phone rang and I dug into my coat pocket and picked it out. "What?" I snapped.

"Jacob, it's Monica." Monica yelled.

"What do you want Monica?" I snapped again, extremely bitter and angry beyond all reason.

"Hey I'm at this concert. Wanna join me?" Monica yelled over heavy rap music in the background.

"Oh. Uh… where is it?" I was shocked Monica would invite me to anything less than an orgy.

"Seattle. It's about to start in an hour or so. But it's packed so get here as soon as you can."

"I'm already on my way." I said, smiling because I knew Monica would give me what I wanted.

"Good boy." Monica purred and I snapped my phone shut.

* * *

"A Jay-Z concert?" I shouted incredulously.

"Yeah, that's who's up there." Monica yelled back sarcastically over the crowd. "It's a venue, we don't have to pay. It's just whoever shows up."

"Oh." I yelled.

"I know you don't really wanna watch the concert." Monica winked and put her finger on my chest.

Then it was shirts up, pants down behind the stage by a port-o-potty. That's what I liked about Monica, she was down for anything, anywhere.

Monica was kissing all over my neck and I was horny, beyond horny in seconds. My boner was protesting against my underwear, threatening to bust out like the Hulk. Monica threw her head back and slowly crawled down my torso, watching out for my stitches and kissing the spot right under my belly button before she slid my boxers off and just stared in shock.

"Let's go!" I snapped my fingers and Monica put her mouth on my piece. It was like heaven on Earth.

I didn't have time for games and she wasn't ready to play any.

I'll tell you one thing though, Monica is a pro. She worked up and down slowly and then picked up the pace, making it impossible for me not to moan. Monica licked me up and then sucked me dry, swallowing like she was living in the desert and hadn't had water in months.

"Happy now, big boy?" Monica asked, wiping her lips.

"Mhm." I mumbled, propping myself up on my elbows.

"Good." Monica winked and propped herself on her elbows next to me. Then we made out to Jay-Z's "99 Problems" under the dark, near-winter sky.

"Thank you, goodnight, It's Cha-boy!" Jay yelled at the end of his set. I was happy. I got a nice little blow job from Monica, felt her up a little, got some tongue, and heard Jay-Z rap live. I was a giddy bastard.

"I don't know you and you don't know me." Monica whispered.

"Deal." I whispered back. Monica winked at me and I walked like a pimp all the way back to my car. I got in my car and looked in my rearview mirror.

All I saw was an asshole.

An asshole whose been hitting on a girl with a boyfriend. A girl whose only tried to let me down easy. A girl whose the most beautiful person on the inside and out and who I left alone in the school parking lot.

A girl who I promised to listen to and I let down.

Shit.

Why was I such an asshole?

A/N: I feel dirty.

Well, hope this was enjoyable.

Kind-a.

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