Season 2 is now underway! And we kick things off with a reveiwer request!
"Great story! I have an idea for a chapter. Mario goes on another adventure and Luigi tries to tag along to increse his reputation, only to make his reputation worse." -HyperInuyasha
You got it! Also, this chapter is 3 times longer than any chapter in season 1! I did not intend this, so I doubt they'll be as lengthy from now on. Also, I'll try to get a new chapter up every monday. I have many ideas for season 2, but if you think you have a good idea for a story, include it in a reveiw and I just might do it.
Before we start, I would also like to thank all the reveiwers of season 1 for their kind words. I wouldn't be doing this if it weren't for you guys! But enough chit-chat, it's time to get this party started!
Mario was coming home. After making his way through 8 worlds, defeating an endless sea of brutes and monsters, and finally returning the princess to her rightful throne, Mario came to his safe haven to do what he did best.
Mario: (Walks through the front door)
Luigi: (On the couch and in mid-Doodlecake) Hey Mario! How was your adven-
Mario: (Takes Luigi's doodlecake, shoves him off the couch, and passes out on the furniture, leaving no room for Luigi to watch the rest of his show)
Luigi: HEY!!
Mario: ...(Snores loudly)
Luigi: (Gives him a dirty death glare) Well then!
Parakarry: MAIL CALL!!
Luigi: (Running out of the front door) 'Sup home dog? You bling-blingin' that ice-chilly krunk? (Strikes a gangsta pose)
Parakarry: ...If you ever try to be street again, I'll have to call in some "favours", if you catch my drift.
Luigi: Sorry. So what news do you have for me today?
Parakary: What else? Fan mail, bills, junk mail, and... a party invitation? (looks at the envelope quizically) for YOU??
Luigi: No way! (Snatches the envolope so fast it gives parakarry rope burn)
Parakarry: (Clutches his hand in pain as he stops, drops, and rolls all over Luigi's freshly watered lawn)
Luigi: (Walks back into the house trying to be street again) Later home-boy, fo' rizzle my skizzle bisquit!
Parakarry: (Tries desperately to call in some "favours", but is prevented by the pain of holding a cell phone, or anything else, in his hand)
Luigi: (walking through the front door) Hey Mario, we got a party invite! There's a celebration in your honor for rescuing the princess.
Mario: (Snores loudly in response)
Luigi: At Peach's castle!
Mario: (Flips over and continues sleeping)
Luigi: There'll be dancing, games, and girls there!
Mario: (Scratches his ear whilst slumbering)
Luigi: ... I bet there's gonna be cake!
Mario: (leaps out of bed to put on his best tux)
And so, the mario bros. got ready for a wild night of partying. Mario dug out his old good tux, Luigi was practicing his jokes in case he had to break the ice, and Parakarry remained sprawled on the front lawn, unwilling to move until Luigi got a nice big chunk of his mind. The mario bros. snuck out the back at 8:00 pm.
At 8:15 they arrived at the gates of the castle, ready to party until they were purple.
Peach: (greeting the guests) (Toad walks by) Glad you could make it... (Toadette walks by) Glad you could make it... (Birdo walks by) Glad you could make it... (Mario walk by) Gald you could make it... (Luigi walks by) ...
Luigi: (Walks backwards until he is in front of peach again, then passes her again)
Peach: ...
Luigi: Peach!?
Peach: Yes?
Luigi: Aren't you glad I could make it?
Peach: Not really. My mom said if I invited mario I had to invite to invite you too.
Luigi: (walks into the party room pouting)
For a while everyone just milled around, looking at the paintings, waiting for the guests to arrive. This was not what Luigi came for. Luigi came for wild partying, and he would get it one way or another
Luigi: Looks like it's time to start breaking the ice. (Cooly leans next to a toad standing by him). Hey Toad, what does a lakitu's cloud like to wear on a rainy day?
Toad: What?
Luigi: (Fighting back the giggles) ...Thunderwear!
Toad: ...(slowly inching away from a snickering luigi)...Heh, yeah, good one Luigi. Uh, I'm gonna make sure that kid doesn't fall into the painting over there. Way over there. Very far away... (runs away)
Luigi: Wait! Don't you want to hear the about the yoshi, the shyguy, and the POW block? It's a real knee-slapper! ...huh. Looks like it's time to skip to ice-breaking plan #2. (walks over to the DJ playing music, and whispers is song request to him)
DJ: (Looks at him as if he had lost his mind, until Luigi passes him 20)
Meanwhile, Mario was in the next room discussing the exploits of his latest expedition to some of his fans. Suddenly a needle scratch was heard, as the DJ put on Luigi's requested song. "Oh my god..." Mario thought as the track started playing, "He wouldn't!".
He would.
Luigi: (Moonwalks onto the dance floor as Justin Timberlake's "Sexy back" plays from the speakers) (Singing) I'm bringin' sexy back! ...yeah! ...
Try to picture the scene if you can. Luigi trying to be cool and suave while pulling off such dance moves as, the funky chicken, the cabbage patch, and the shameful and frowned upon "churning the butter". And while he is doing this, everyone in the room is just staring at the horrible demonstration one could hardly ever call dancing. Soon a riot exploded from the room, people claiming to have gone blind, pleas for the DJ to end the song, fruit punch and finger sandwiches flying from the snack tables as mobs attempted to flee through the congested doorways. Luigi took this excitement as encouragment to keep going, and as he took his 3rd attempt to try and spin on his head break-dance style, Mario just stood in total awe. This could've gone on much longer if not for what happened next.
Luigi: (while doing "the worm") (still singing) I'm bringin' sexy ba- (fruit punch flies onto his "dance performance") MY EYES!! They're BURNING!!
As the purple liquid splattered over his good tuxedo and burned his eyes, the actual cause for concern happened
Bowser: (comes crashing through the wall) MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! (snatches Peach) Looks like you lose again plumber! And this time, you'll never find me or the princess! (Flies out of the castle, gloating about his plan)
Luigi: Was that bowser?? I couldn't tell! Someone please help me get the natural flavorings out my eyes!!
Toadsworth: How did bowser know to come now while we were partying and vulnerable?
Toad gaurd: (Eyes dart left and right as he sweats profusely, having a flashback about that morning)
Flashback: (Bowser opening a letter in the mail) A message for me?
Message for Bowser: "Dear Bowser, look who kicked your sorry butt again! MARIO! And now we're having a party for him to make fun of you at 8pm tonight! There'll cake, dancing, and fun had by all, EXCEPT YOU! 'Cause your not invited. NEENER, NEENER! Not your pals, The Toad Gaurds"
Bowser: ...Prepare the fleets! We leave for the mushroom kingdom in one hour! (end flashback)
Toadsworth: (talking to the toad gaurds) You guys are completely worthless. Like, l mean it literally when I say, completely worthless!
Toad Gaurd: But we're still getting paid right?
Toadsworth: ...Mario, do you feel up for another adventure?
Mario: (Shakes his head "No")
Toadsworth: Too bad, you leave in the morning. Now go get some shut eye!
Mario: (Grumpily walks home with a purple Luigi in tow)
Mario was really starting to doubt the mushroom kingdom's line of defense. As he thought it over it just seemed more and more like an invitation for Bowser to steal the princess again and again! Gaurds inside the castle at all time, the castle placed in a vulnerable position, and the last line of defense being a fat plumber with some "decent hops". Seriously, give him a car or something, 'cause going thousands of miles on foot is not mario's idea of a fun expidition. But Mario's train of thought was abruptly brought to a halt when he heard-
Parakarry: (on the ground still) THERE YOU ARE!
Luigi: Uh oh...
Parakrry: I see you successfully partied yourself too a decent shade of purple.
Luigi: (squinting his eyes intensely) What do you want?
Parakarry: Revenge... (snaps with his good hand)
With that snap came koopas flying in from all directions. From the sky, behind the bushes, climbing down trees. One even squeezed himself into the Mario Bros.' garden hose. Koopas from all directions swarmed the yard. And they all had one thing on their mind.
Buff koopa: Is this the guy trying to be cool without enough street cred?
Parakarry: Yes!
Buff koopa: Alright guys, beat up that plumber!
Luigi: Ahh! (Cowering behind Mario) Wh- why would you guys beat me and Mario up?
koopa stuck in the garden hose: We wouldn't beat up mario, he's got enough street cred (motions towards the laptop, displaying the street credit report website)
street credit report website: (shows mario's profile, with a street cred of 753. Alongside it was Luigi's profile, with a street cred of 12)
Mario: (thumps his chest twice, then gives a sideways peace sign) (walks into the house, leaving Luigi to his doom)
koopas: (returns the motion to mario as he goes to bed)
Buff koopa: Looks like we're gonna have to teach you a little lesson about trying to be cool without enough street cred.
koopas: (crowd around a cowering Luigi)
The next morning
Dexter: (walks into the Mario's yard) Hey Luigi, what was with all that squealing last night? (Turns to see Luigi tied to a tree, with his face literally beaten in so only his bulbous nose is seen) woah!
Luigi: (muffled yelping)
Dexter: What?
Luigi (louder, but still muffled yelling)
Dexter: Come again?
Luigi (Muffled, but frustrated screaming)
Dexter: (Pulls on Luigi's nose, bringing his face back out) Now what were you saying?
Luigi: "Pull on my nose"... What are you doing here dexter?
Dexter: I couldn't sleep last night with all of your screaming about "It was just a mistake" and "Someone please help me". So I took my chemistry kit down to the castle, to do some forensic work. And looky what had bowser's hand prints all over it! (holds up a peice of paper)
Peice of Paper: "To-do list"
1. Crash through the walls of the castle randomly looking for the princess
2. Snatch the princess
3. Escape to yoshi Island
4. Lots of friends!
5. Gloat
Luigi: That must be bowser's to-do list. We better tell mario.
Mario: (as if on cue, comes out of the house with a travel case and a surly look on his face)
Luigi: Mario, come look at this!
Mario: (reads over the to-do list)
Dexter: He must've known you would've gone to his castle first, there by wasting time and energy, then he'd be able to defeat you easily.
Luigi: The fiend! We have to get to Yoshi Island right away!
Everyone: (Runs off to yoshi island)
Luigi: ... Hey guys? Are you going to untie me?
Dexter: Oh sorry. (unties Luigi) Well, you better get cleaning or stuff, Mario and I can manage this. (Heads towards the warp pipe with mario)
Luigi: No way! I'm coming this time.
Mario and Dexter: (stop in their tracks)
Dexter: What'd you say?
Luigi: Well last night, while I flickered in and out consciousness, I decided that my street cred needs some serious raising. Mario obviously gets some during his quests, so I'm joining in from now on.
Dexter: Then who's going to take care of your house while you guys are saving the princess?
Luigi: (Shoves a maid's apron and a bottle of cleanser into dexter) You! LATER! (Runs after Mario through the warp pipe)
And so Luigi set off with his brother on a quest to increase his reputation. As the Mario bros. walked through Toad Town to the designated warp pipe, toads all around shouted cheers of joys and encouragement.
Toad: Go Mario!
Another Toad: You can do it!
Yet another Toad: Save the princess
Oh look, another toad: Good luck
And another one: You're so cool!
Seriously, how many of you are there: Why is Luigi purple?
Guess what, it's another toad, again: Make sure you get plenty of 1-up mushrooms!
Okay that's enough toads: Will you sign my underwear?
THAT'S ENOUGH, WE DON'T NEED ANYMORE OF YOU PEOPLE: Kick some koopa butt!
GAH, where'd you come from: Bowser's going down!
Luigi: Man, there's a lot of toads here.
No kidding. So after fighting through a mob of fantoads, Mario and Luigi finally got to the warp pipe. As they were forcibly sucked to Yoshi Island Luigi went over his plan of how to raise his street cred.
Luigi: Step 1: Become friends with the cheif yoshi, so I have friends in high places
Step 2: Do something awesome, so I'm popular among yoshis
Step 3: Save the princess, and be awarded the purple mushroom
Step 4: Butter, Milk, and eggs. No wait, that's the wrong list.
Luigi was going to ask Mario if he knew where the rest of his master plan was. But this question would be replaced by loud yelling as he was shot out of the warp pipe faster than intended. Not that it would've mattered, Mario had learned to tune Luigi out by now.
Luigi: (screaming as gravity regained it's tight and harsh grip) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-thud.
Mario: (Turns around to see Luigi's legs flailing about as he tried to pry himself from the crater Luigi had made) (Snickers)
Random Yoshi: Yoshi?
Mario: ?
Luigi: (Pops out of the ground) Ugh...
Yoshi: Yoshi?
Luigi: Huh?
Yoshi: Yoshi?
Luigi: ...Dude. Speak Toadinese.
Yoshi: Yoshi?
Luigi: Can we get a translator?
Another Yoshi: Maybe I can be of assistance. I know both Toadinese and Native Yoshi. And a little Booish and Goombarvarian if you- woah! Is that you Gonzales?
Mario: (Turns around to see a Yoshi with shorts on and an orange tuft of hair. And a familiar smirk)
Luigi: Who's Gonzales? The yoshi?
Orange Tuft: No way man, that's Yoshizilla. (Walks over to Mario) This is Gonzales, and man, we go way back.
Mario and Orange Tuft: (High Five each other)
Luigi: ...Who are you??
Orange Tuft: I'm Little Mac. Well, I'm not so little anymore. But I was just a baby when Gonzales here hatched me from that egg. We went on some wild adventures didn't we?
Explanation time. In Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door, you had to hatch a baby yoshi who would then become your ally. You had to name the yoshi yourself, so I chose the name "little mac" in honor of the actual little mac from Mike Tyson's Punch-out. Both dudes of the same name were just little guys with big dreams of making it big in the ring, and fought their way to the top with the odds against them, so I thought the name choice was perfect. If you haven't played Paper Mario: TTYD shame on you! (slaps the wrists of the losers who never played the greatest game in the paper mario series). Unfortunately since he didn't have an established name he couldn't be featured in many fanfics. But he is in this one, because he is my favorite buddy character of all time in the paper mario series! (squints his eyes intensely) Ever...
Luigi: That's great and all, but can we get to the translating please?
Mac: Huh, oh right. Yoshizilla just wants to know what Mario and a purple plumber are doing here?
Luigi: Well for your information, we are here on official princess saving business. So move aside civilian, heroes (in need of a reputation upgrade Luigi thought to himself) are coming through.
Mac: Are you guys here to take care of that jerk Bowser again? If you are you have to come see the cheif first.
Luigi: Why?
Mac: He's looking for heroes too climb the mountain Bowser placed his head quarters on, whilst facing powerful beasts and perilous conditions on their tiring trek up the world's most grueling rock climbing and snowstorm conditions. Naturally few have come forward. That's why I'm here, to try and do my yoshi ancestors proud.
Luigi: ...I'm not so sure I'm still up for this Mario... Maybe I should just make sure dexter's alright (flees for the warp pipe)
Mario: (Grabs Luigi and puts him onto Mac, who was now strong to carry up to ten plumbers at full speed)
Luigi: Dang it!
Mac: Hang on!
Luigi: Oh please, how fast- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Luigi was scared out of his wits at the speed they were hurtling through the forests of Yoshi Island. Trees and shrubs flew past in a blur of various shades of green. Luigi wouldv'e closed his eyes shut if the sheer wind force weren't keeping them open. And thanks to Einsteins theory of relativity, the seconds it took to travel miles felt like several minutes to Luigi. When would the madness end, he wondered.
Luigi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...(Mac stopped in front of a palace) (Luigi gasped and sputtered from the shock as his brother got off as if it was just another ride through kiddie land)
Mac: Uh, you can get off me now...
Luigi: (collapses to the ground as his jelly legs give way whilst decending Mac's saddle) You guys go ahead. I'll catch up when the ground stops spinning.
Mac: Are you sure you two come from the same genes?
Mario: (shrugs)
Mac and Mario: (walk into the cheif's hut)
Mac: (explaining to mario as they walk down the long corrider to the master room) You know our cheif can be a bit eccentric, so there are a few rules to follow when you talk to him. One, you must end your sentence with "your cheifliness", "your highness", or "your benevolence". You could probably just bow though, he'd understand. Second, never make any sudden hand gestures. He takes it as a challenge. And lastly, don't comment on his beard. He hasn't acheived that "proud yet modest" look yet, so he's pretty self conscious about it. (Walks through the last door in the hallway) Greetings your cheifliness.
Cheif Yoshi: Greetings. Welcome to my palace. All visitors are welcome, (stares intensely at them) as long as you don't get on my bad side that is! Wait a minute... aren't you Little Mac? The reigning champion of glitzville?
Mac: (Flashing his belt) Yep!
Cheif Yoshi: Ooh, I'm such a big fan! (Runs over to him) Will you sign my saddle? (shoves a sharpie in his face)
Mac: Uuh, sure. Anything for a fan your cheifliness.
Cheif Yoshi: (giggles with glee as Mac signs his name) ...ooh ooh! Can you also write a little mesage there too?
Mac: Okay... what do you want it to say your highness?
Cheif Yoshi: "Dear Cheif Yoshi. You are my greatest fan and my greatest friend."
Mac: (Repeats the message as he writes it) Dear...Cheif Yoshi... You...are... my... greatest-
Cheif Yoshi: "I wish on every star in the sky I was half as cool as you"
Mac: (trying to keep up) greatest friend... I wish-
Cheif Yoshi: "All of my best regards towards you, your friends, family, and enemies you suave and handsome stud."
Mac: cool... as you... All of... my best...regards... can you stop giggling for a sec, your shaking the saddle too much your gracious!
Cheif Yoshi: Sorry. (waits for mac to finish) Awesome! (turns to mario) And who is this?
Mario: (bows as Mac introduces him)
Mac: This is plumber and adventurer extraordinaire, Mario of the Mushroom King- (gets pelted in the chest with a camera) Oof! What the-
Cheif Yoshi: Now take a picture of my saddle!
Mac: ...Why??
Cheif Yoshi: 'cause it's gonna wash off when I take a bath...DUH!
Mac: (snaps the photograph)
Cheif Yoshi: (takes back the camera in excitement) hee hee hee! So, what can I do for you gentlemen?
Mac: We're actually here to let you know you have 3 more volunteers for the trek up to bowser's castle your highness.
Cheif Yoshi: Excellent! That brings the total of volunteers up to 6!
Mac: Really? Who else is coming your benevolence?
Cheif Yoshi: Well of course there's the all powerful... oh wait. He's dead. But there's still, well, no, he actually died of irony the night before the trip.
Mac: Died of irony your majesty?
Cheif Yoshi: Yeah. He was a vegetarian, and got eaten by an animal. At least you guys still have-
Yoshizilla: (walks into the room with a report) Yoshi yoshi!
Cheif Yoshi: What do you mean "lost on the mountain?"
Mac: Who?
Cheif Yoshi: The 3rd volunteer we received. Guess it's up to you 3. Wait, there's only 2 of you!
Mac: What? Oh, yeah. the 3rd one's still outside clutching the ground so he "doesn't fall up" your cheifliness.
Luigi: (stumbles in)
Mac: There he is your grace.
Cheif Yoshi: Hello sir.
Luigi: Hey Cheif, wow. Might I say that is a fine little beard you have there? (Gives him a friendly thumbs up)
Cheif Yoshi: ...HOW DARE YOU INSULT ME IN MY OWN PALACE??
Luigi: What??
Cheif Yoshi: Gaurds, take this purple monstrosity out of my sight!
Yoshi gaurds: (grab luigi by his arms and drag him out of the hut)
Luigi: Wait, wait! What'd I do?? (voice fades as he is dragged out of the hut) No wait! I didn't do anything! Let me go! My reputation is on the line here guys! Mario, help me...
Cheif Yoshi: ... (turns towards mario and mac after an uncomfortable silence)...so do you guys like fondue?
Meanwhile at the yoshi island coastline
Yoshi Gaurds: (Hurl a confused Luigi out into shark-infested sea)
Luigi: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA-splash. ...What are you guys doing?
Yoshizilla: (reading from an official document) Yoshi yoshi yoshi yo-yoshi. Yoshi yoshi-shi yoshi. Yoshi yoshi-yoshi. Yoshi-yoshi-yo yoshi-shi. yoshi yo-yoshi-shi.
Luigi: Mac! Get over here and translate!
Mac: (comes to the beach with a mouthful of fondue) Sure thing. (turns to yoshizilla) Yo-yoshi yo.
Yoshizilla: Yoshi yoshi yoshi yo-yoshi. Yoshi yoshi-shi yoshi. Yoshi yoshi-yoshi. Yoshi-yoshi-yo yoshi-shi. yoshi yo-yoshi-shi.
Mac: "Luigi is here by exiled from yoshi island on accounts of not recognizing the cheif's authority, violent confrontation, and speaking of taboo topics, the topic in question being the cheif's beard."
Luigi: But I didn't know about that stuff. (approaches the shore) I'm sure we can come to some understanding.
Yoshi Gaurds: (threateningly point their spears at Luigi before he makes it to shore)
Yoshizilla: Yoshi yoshi. Yo yoshi-yo shi-yoshi-shi yoshi yo.
Mac: "Uh-uh. If you step one foot on this island all of our residents will personally make sure you won't have the means to return to the island the next time we chuck you out to sea."
Luigi: (slowly backs into the water) ...so how do I get to the warp pipe to the mushroom kingdom.
Mac: Yo yoshi yo shi-shi?
Yoshizilla: Yoshi yo yoshi.
Mac: You don't. Looks like your swimming back.
Luigi: (looks at the horizon with no sign of land anywhere) ...your kidding me. You can't do this!
Yoshizilla: Yoshi yoshi.
Mac: Yes he can.
Yoshizilla: (turns to the gaurds) Yoshi yoshi-shi
Gaurds: (salute Yoshizilla)
Yoshizilla: (slautes back, and then leaves)
Mac: These guy are gonna stay here and make sure you don't sneak back on.
Luigi: I don't belevie this!
Mac: Sorry. Well, see ya when me and Mario get back! (speeds off)
Luigi: Hey wait! ... aw man!
Yoshi Gaurds: (set up camp as too stay in their position for an indefinite amount of time)
Luigi: ...I don't suppose you guys speak toadinese.
Gaurd #1: Yoshi?
Gaurd #2: (shrugs) Yoshi yo.
Luigi: Thought not. Well, I suppose I better get swimming. (Doggie paddles out to sea) ...this could take awhile...
After several hours of dog paddling no land was visible to Luigi. Just water water everyhwere, and not a drop to drink. Luigi wondered how far he had travelled in his swimming, and wanted to know whether he should've kept going or turned back towards yoshi island.
Luigi: (turns around)
Yoshi Gaurds who are a bit smaller but still clearly visible from 50 feet away: (wave to Luigi)
Luigi: Dang it! (starts dog paddling back) I guess I can wait in the 3 foot water until mario comes and gets me.
meanwhile on daisy's cruise ship many, many yards away
Toad with binoculars: Hey guys, you can see things many, many yards away with these babies!
Toad #2: I can't see any thing more than many yards away! Gimme! (snatches the binoculars)
Toad #1: Hey! You know those are only 4 bucks at the gift shop right?
Toad #2: So? I already have a free pair right here!
Toad #1: You're the worst. I'm heading for the buffet-
Toad #2: Wait! I think I see luigi lost at sea!!
Toad #1: What??
Toad #2: He's dog-paddling towards us!
Taod #1: We need to tell the captain right now!
Toad #2: I know! Quick, we have to... wait a minute.
Toad #1: What??
Toad #2: He's turning around and swimming towards that island.
Toad #1: Oh, he must've been out for a quick swim then.
Toad #2: I guess. So you wanna hit the buffet?
Toad #1: Heck yeah!
back on the coastline
Luigi: (sitting in the water up to chest) At least I can wash the purple off of me. sigh... Hey, you guys wanna hear a joke?
Yoshi gaurd: Yoshi?
Luigi: Okay, why did the goomba cross the road?
Yoshi gaurd: (shrugs)
Luigi: Because there wasn't a warp pipe! (laughs at his own joke)
Yoshi gaurd: ...
Luigi: (pouts) I wonder how mario is doing.
Meanwhile
Mac: I bet you 20 bucks you won't do it.
Cheif: Ha, I bet 30 buck you won't do it!
Mario: (after looking at them intensely, slaps and cool 50 dollars onto the table) ...
Mac: Well? Let's see you do it, chicken!
Mario: (hesitates, and then sticks his head in the fondue pot)
Cheif Yoshi: (counting down from his watch) 10...9...8...7..6...5...4...3-
Mario: (triumphantly brings his cheese-covered head from out of the pot with an apple in his mouth)
Mac: Wow, I can't beleive he did it!
Mario: (gives the losers a coy smirk as he puts down the apple and picks up his 50 dollar winnings, and then leaves)
Cheif Yoshi: Where's he going?
Mac: Probably going to wipe the scalding cheese off of his now burning face.
Mario: (screams from the background)
Cheif yoshi: Hehe. (looks at his watch) Woah, it's almost bed time. You guys better get some sleep before you head up the mountain tomorrow.
Mac: aww... but it's my turn to bob for scalding cheesy apples!
Cheif yoshi: Fine, but then it's bed time for you young man!
Mac: Yay! (puts his head in the fondue pot)
Ten seconds of lava hot cheese later
Mario: (snuggles the quilt as he takes the top bunk)
Mac: (walking in as he rubs the scalding cheese off his face) Man, I can't beleive I lost. So am I taking the bottom bunk?
Mario: (nods)
Mac: That's cool, I was always freaked out I would fall off whenever I got the top bunk anyways. (hops onto the bottom bunk) So tell me man, what have you been up too all these years.
Mario had many adventures since he and Mac last saw each other. Mario was delighted to tell him about the incredible sagas of his life to Mac, and it was great to catch up with an old friend. Unfortunately the other Mario Brother was doing so well. Since Luigi didn't have gills, he couldn't sleep underwater, and the only land available that wouldn't be submerged in high tide was a pointed boulder sitting near the shore line. No matter how Luigi slept on it, the point on top would poke him uncomfortablely, so he had to sleep Koala Bear style, hugging the rock tightly as he slept so he didn't fall into the water.
Luigi: I hope people don't think I'm a rock hugger. Those people are freaks!
Yoshi on the shore: (Hugging a rock as he walks along the shore, he spots Luigi and waves at him as if he were a long lost friend)
Luigi: Great...Hey, what are you doing!?
Rock Hugger: (swims up to Luigi's boulder with rock still in hand, and joins Luigi on the other side of the rock)
This could have been the worst night of Luigi's life. The gaurds were sleeping in shifts so Luigi stayed off land, he was hanging for dear life, and now his personal bubble was being intruded by a rock hugger. And there was no Mario in sight to save him. That's because Mario was too busy have a restful night's sleep. The morning afterwards he woke up to one best smelling breakfasts his nostrils ever smelled.
Mario: (walks to the kitchen to see a long table lined with mouth-watering delicacies of the breakfast variety)
Mac: (already digging into his scrambled eggs and bacon) Dude! This stuff is amazing! Come on, eat over here by me.
Mario: (with no hesitation, takes the seat next to Mac and reaches for the biscuits and gravy)
One display of breakfast gluttony later
Cheif Yoshi: (walking into the kitchen) I trust that your bodies are rested and your tummies are full.
Mario: (belches in response)
Cheif Yoshi: Good, I wish you two the best of luck on your trip.
Mac and Mario: (Set off for their latest quest)
and thus, it began. Mario's latest adventure was underway, and by the looks of things, it was going to be a smooth ride. Mario felt confident with Mac at his side, and nothing was going to impede their path as they rescued princess peach. However, things became more bleak as they encountered their first, and most tracherous obstacle.
Luigi: Hi guys
Mac and Mario: (jump back startled) AAAAH!!
Mac: Luigi? Dude, quick, get off the island before someone sees you!
Luigi: (with a smirk) ah, but I'm not on the island am I? (points to his feet, showing that he was riding a lakitu cloud). And I quote, "If you step one foot on this island ..." and I have yet to place a single foot on this land.
Mac: Ingenious! How'd you score a lakitu cloud?
Luigi: (His smile growing bigger) Let me tell you the story...
Flashback: (reveals Luigi and the rock-hugger clutcing the boulder)
Rock-hugger: His name is Jefferey. Say hello Jefferey.
Luigi: He's not going to say hello you know.
Rock-Hugger: YES HE IS! (stroking the rock) He's just shy is all.
Luigi: Your as stupid as your rock!
Rock-hopper: (gasps) You apologize to Jeffery!
Luigi: I'm not going to apologize to something that doesn't have feelings!
Rock-hugger: Just say, "I'm sorry". (shakes the rock in his face) please...
Luigi: No.
Rock-hugger: Come on, just say it.
Luigi: (snatching the rock) Dude, I'm not talking to your stupid rock! (Luigi then punctuates the sentence by throwing his rock very far away)
Rock-hugger: Jeffery! (Chases after the airborne rock)
Meanwhile in the sky
Lakitu: Ohmygosh Ohmygosh Ohmygosh! I'm late for Bowser's evil plan! Have to keep going until- (gets smacked in the face with Jefferey and goes unconcious) (starts plummeting to earth)
Yoshi Gaurd: (shaking the other one for the shift change) Yoshi yoshi.
Yoshi Gaurd #2: (wakes up) Yoshi?
Yoshi Gurd #1: (tapping his wristwatch) Yoshi yo.
Lakitu: (crashes into them both, knocking them out cold, then tumbles into the water)
Lakitu Cloud: (Hovers above the water)
Lakitu: (breaking the surface sputtering) Aah! Help, Help! I can't swim! Someone help me! (splashes violently)
Luigi: (looks at Lakitu, then his cloud, then back at Lakitu)
End Flashback
Mac: So you saved Lakitu, and he was so grateful he let you borrow his cloud?
Luigi: ...Sure, let's go with that.
Mac: ...Well, welcome aboard Luigi, to the "Princess Peach Rescue Squad Alpha"!
Luigi: ...
Mac: We're still working on the name.
Luigi: Whatever, I'm just pumped right now! Yeah, let's kick some koopa butt!
As if on cue, the shadow of one of Bowser's troops became visible around the corner. It grew larger and larger, indicating it's impending doom. Luigi stood his gound, er, cloud, and prepared himself for the fearsome, horrible beast that he would soon face down. Which monster had bowser sent out to take them down first?
Goomba: (walks around the corner)
Luigi: (shreiks like a little girl and jumps into Mac's arms trembling)
Mac: ...That better be sweat dripping down your pant leg!
Luigi: ...(climbs awkwardly back onto his cloud) Sorry, I'm a bit out of practice.
Mario: (Stomps the Goomba before Luigi can even finish his explanation)
Mac: Well I'm sure goomba stomping is like riding a bike.
It wasn't.
Luigi: (Falls flat on his face as he sails strait over a goomba)
Mac: Come on, even I can do this!
Luigi: Oh yeah, the wrestling champ of the world can beat people up better than a plumber. Shocker.
Mario: (bounces on 4 goombas in a row without touching the ground, and waits impatiently for the other two to catch up)
Mac: Well, at least you landed on your face, so you still technically haven't placed a foot on the island yet.
Luigi: (sarcastically) Lucky me. (Gets hoisted back up Mac and placed gently on his little lakitu cloud) ...OW!
Mac: What?
Luigi: (pulls a spiky shell out from under him)
Mac: Hey, that gives me an idea.
Mario: (clears his throat loudly)
Mac: I'll explain on the way.
Mac explained his idea to Luigi, which was to take a page from lakitu's book and chuck his ammo at an unexpecting koopa army
Luigi: That sounds so simple, I'm surprised I didn't think of it. Plus it eliminates the risk of me bouncing off my enemy and onto land. Ooh, ooh. There's a koopa up there I can practice on! (with that Luigi floated into position above the marching koopa. He drew out a spiny, aimed it carefully, and dropped it)
Spiny: (misses the koopa by several feet)
Luigi: Stupid cross winds! Lemme try again. (Reaims his drop and takes a second attempt)
Spiny: (misses by inches)
Luigi: Shoot!
Mac: Third time's the charm...
Luigi: (steadily takes his third shot)
Spiny: (directly hits the koopa's noggin...)
Luigi: Yes!
Spiny: (...then bounces off, leaving the koopa unharmed)
Luigi: WHAT?!
Koopa: (looks up notices Luigi)
Luigi: ...(weakly waves at the koopa)
Koopa: (pulls out a walkie-talkie) Yeah this is green squadron 1 in blue region, we need-
Mario: (Stomps the koopa in mid-sentence, and then uses the shell to knock out the other 3 spinies like a pro)
Mac: Why didn't that work?
A conundrum that has plagued the author since his first childhood experience with Mario Bros. for the NES. Koopas and Goombas will walk into on another without harm being done, yet when mario makes contact they greatly harm him. Why doesn't the deadly touch of a goomba kill another goomba on contact. WHY??
Mac: (sighs) We better keep moving.
Mario: (hops onto Mac)
Luigi: (pursuits the speeding yoshi)
And so the cycle continued. Luigi failed to be of any use, Mario kicked some koopa butt, and Mac provided any necessary assistance, to Mario or a wimpering Luigi. It was long before they they made their way to the top of the mountain, and to the gates of one particular castle of one particular koopa who was the particular enemy of a particular plumber and his particular quest which took place in one particular fanfiction that was written by one particular guy and read by many particular readers who were growing tired of one particular word being used over and over again (particularly the word "particular").
Mac: You guys particularly ready to do this!
Luigi: Heck yeah!
Mario: (Nods with a confidet smile on his face)
Mac: Alright! Here's the plan (pauses for emphasis)... (rings he nearby door bell)
Bowser: (from behind the gates) What the- Why is it only when I'm in the shower someone's at the door?? Bowser Jr., could you get that!
Bowser Jr.: Can't, I'm trying to set the world record for longest time without opening a door!
Bowser: (sighs) ...Coming! I'm Coming! (opens the gates) Who is it??
Mario: (waves at him)
Bowser: MARIO?? You shouldn't have figured out I was here by now! How'd you know to come here?
Mario: (lifts Bowser's To-do list high in the air)
Bowser: ... Dang it! No wonder I couldn't find that thing.
Mac: (looks it over) ... It doesn't look that well planned out.
Bowser: But that's only the first half of the list. The Second half was to build this baby! (runs into his castle)
Mario, Luigi, and Mac: (Look at each other uncertainly, but before any of them could speak the ground begins to tremble and the roofs of the castle open up)
Bowser: (Appears at the controls of an over-sized cannon that extends high into the air) MWUHAHAHAHAHA! Like it Mario? It's called the "LavaGusher 9000". This little baby is attached to the mouth of this mountain, which is truly a dormant volcanoe! At the push of a button, this cannon will pump the lava from the earth's core all over this pitiful island!
Mac: (Gasps) But that'll destroy everything down in yoshi village! Even the yoshis!
Bowser: I have no use for yoshi's in the new kingdom, which I will create from the ashes of this island, which will only grow in size as the water cools the lava once it reaches shore, and turns it into more land! Peach and I will rule this new empire together as king and queen, eventually acheiving total world conquest! (Takes aim with his cannon) And it all starts with the wiping out of my arch rival. (Locks onto Mario) Any last words plumber?
Luigi: (mistaking Boswer's question to mean the both of them) Yes. Where's that button you mentioned that pumps out the lava?
Bowser: (looks at his control panel, which consists of only two levers used for aiming the cannon). Well, it should be on a remote control I ordered a few days ago. I don't know where that stupid lakitu is!
Luigi: What Lakitu?
Bowser: The one I sent out to retreive my remote! You just can't get good lackies these days!
Luigi: (searching through his cloud) You mean this remote? (Pulls out a remote control in the shape of Bowser's insignia)
Bowser: ...No?
Bowser was a terrible liar. As Luigi looked over the simple remote, he noticed it had 4 buttons. The "Power On" button. On it's right, the "Power Off" button. And of course, the all important "Fire" button (no pun intended). But the button that got Luigi's attention was the "Self Destruct" button.
Luigi: (sarcastically) Oh dear, whatever button shall I choose to push?
Bowser: Wait! Can I interest you in a trade for that remote?
Luigi: ...what kind of trade?
Mac: Don't do it Luigi! He's bluffing.
Bowser: I'll trade you that remote for the safe return of princess peach. And to show I'm not bluffing, I'll give you her first. (snaps his fingers)
Koopa: (Releases Peach from her jail cell)
Peach: Mario! (Runs into Mario's arms) I'm so glad you came for me!
Luigi: Sounds like a fair trade. (Tosses him the remote)
Bowser: You fool! Now you'll be ashes just like the rest of this island! MWUHAHAHA-HUH?? (Looks at the remote to see that the self destruct button is already pushed). AAAAAH! (Tries to run out of the contraption, but finds the door locked shut from the outside) OH NO! BOWSER JR.! DO SOMETHING!!
Bowser Jr.: What, and ruin the past 3 minutes of my life that I dedicated to not opening doors? Fat chance!
Luigi: Looks like you lose again koopa!
Mac: Dude that things gonna blow any second! Quick, take us down on your cloud!
Luigi: I think it's going to be too heavy for the cloud if we all stand on it. A cloud is nothing but a loose collection of water and ice particles and is unable to support even the weight of a feather, as anything with it's own gravitational pull would simply fall in between the loose particles as if it wasn't even there! In fact, it's physically impossible for me to be standing on this right now. (Luigi instantly falls through the cloud with the realization that what he's doing is impossible) (Shouting as he falls off the mountain) CURSE YOU 8TH GRADE PHYSICS!! CUUUUUUUURSE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!
Mac: Everybody get on and hold tight, it's gonna be a bumpy ride!
Mario: (helps peach onto the saddle, then hops onto the saddle behind her, so that peach is held in as mario wraps his arms around Mac's neck)
Mac: (Sprints towards the cliff's edge and base jumps in the nick of time as they nearly escape the explosion) (Shifts his body so the air rushing past him pushes him towards the face cliff)
As Mac placed his feet onto the cliffside he sprinted as fast as his legs could, so that he could run down the side of the mountain. The mountain formed a ramp at it's base, and Mac was planning to use it to safely reach the ground, but his plan had a major risk to it. If his feet weren't fast enough, they would fall behind his body his head would be pulled downwards, forcing him to tumble head over heels. And with the weight distribution of Mario and Peach on his back he wouldn't be able to pull out of the spin, and they would plummet to their demise. To put all of this simply; Mac had to outrun gravity.
Their only indicatation that Mac was succeeding to do so was that they were catching up to a earthbound Luigi, as he was screaming and flailing his arms wildly. Mario outstretched his hand, which Luigi gladly took, and pulled him onto Mac's saddle. Not a moment too soon either, as they immediatley started to level out to ground level. Only when the mountain disappeared behind the trees of the yoshi village they entered did Mac skid too a stop.
Mac: (leaning on his knees panting) Pant Pant (looks over to Mario with the realization that they probably shared some of the most intense moments of their lives)
Mario: (helps Peach off of the saddle)
Peach: If I ever have to do anything like that again I'm quiting my position as princess!
Mac and Mario: (laughs)
Peach: (joins in the laughter)
Mac: Heh heh. (Looks over to Luigi noticing he didn't laugh) Luigi?
Luigi: (frozen stiff with his eyes wide and his mouth agape)
Mario: (pokes him to see if he's alright)
Luigi: (falls off Mac's saddle, still petrified with fear)
Mac: Oh Luigi, you're so-
Boulder: (Falls from the sky and almost crushes Mac, stopping him in mid-sentence)
Everyone: (looks towards the sky to see rubble and boulders launched from the explosion falling onto the yoshi village)
The rocks rained from the heavens as the villagers scrambled for shelter. Well, except for one yoshi Luigi had the "pleasure" too meet the night before, as he welcomed one of the ballistic boulders into his open arms. Chunks of the mountain began crushing everything in sight all around our heroes. A statue of Cheif Yoshi, the palace, the local bowling alley, and the fruit crops just days before the picking season.
Cheif Yoshi: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Not the bowling alley! (drops to his knees in tears)
Luigi: (Gets onto his feet as he comes to) Ugh... what happened?
Every yoshi in the village: (Turns to see the exiled plumber with his feet planted in their village)
Mac: ...RUN!!
Mac, Mario, Peach, and Luigi: (Runs for the warp pipe as all of the villagers give chase) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! (Jumps into the warp pipe one by one)
Cheif Yoshi: (yelling down the warp pipe) And don't you ever come back!
Yoshizilla: (Proceeds to nail boards over the pipe's opening)
Shortly after in Toad Town
Mac, Mario, and Peach: (pop out of the warp pipe unharmd)
Luigi: (Shoots out of the warp pipe way too fast) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (falls back to earth) AAAAAAAAAAAAAH- thud. Can we start putting some mattresses around these things??
Peach: (Ignoring Luigi) Oh thank you for saving me again Mario (gives him a peck of the cheek)
Mario: (blushes redder than his hat)
Mac: Actually it was Luigi who saved you!
Peach: (Looks at Luigi awkwardly, reluctant of pecking him on the cheek) ...awkward.
Luigi: It's fine. Wait, if I saved the princess instead of Mario, then that means my rep's been uppped, right?
Mac: Well actually, in your saving of her you been exhiled from a entire civilization, blocked off access to one of the mushroom kingdom's top vacation spots, and totally destroyed one of yoshi island's most significant landmarks. So you might have gone down.
Luigi: Well there's only one way to find out.
some time later
Luigi: (rings the doorbell)
Parakarry: (answers his door) Hello?
Luigi: What's crack-a-lackin' in the hizzouse fo' rizzle?
Parakary: (reacting to Luigi's improper use of what little street cred he had) ...(punches him in the nose)
Luigi: AHH! (stop, drop, and rolls all over Parakarry's freshly watered lawn while clutching his nose)
Toad with a banjo: (starts singing and strumming his instrument)
"He thought he was cooler,
But he was just "fool"-er,
'Cause he didn't know that, his street cred was lowered.
He should've went to ,
Then wouldn't be in pain, calling out for his mom."
Cameo appearance #2! The honors going to Yoshizilla. Why?
1. He reveiwed, alerted, and favorited this story (thanks dude)
2. Has probably eaten a full third of this site's servers with his many contributions
3. Zillas Unite!
So yeah, go check his stuff out. But a word of caution, most of his stories are filled cute silliness, stuff to read when in a happy go-lucky mood. For those with an acute intolerance for cute silliness should still check out his latest work; "Super Mario Dimensional Tides". An epic fanfic which will please any nintendo fan.
This would also be a great time to introduce my new cameo system! It's pretty basic. If I find users that read this story who have some note-worthy fanfiction that I want to share with those who read this story will get a cameo in an upcoming chapter. Think of it as an academy award for outstanding fanfiction. But rules apply.
You have to reveiw this story or add it to your favorite (so I know you'll see the cameo if you get one)
It has to be very excellent fanfiction. Not everyone is going to get a cameo.
It needs to be Mario fanfiction. 'Cause that's why your here, right?
If you post a reveiw saying "check out my stuff" then I won't, because it can't be very good if you have to beg me to see it.
And don't feel bad if you don't get a cameo. I'm not saying your bad. It just needs to be really outstanding stuff. Otherwise getting a cameo would mean nothing. Congrats again Yoshizilla. Who will be next?