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ENJOY :)!

Chapter 10

The task assigned to my group today is very easy. We just have to fill up these plastic bags with a little food, blankets and clothing. The blankets and clothing are tattered and torn, so I assume they were donated more willingly than you would imagine.

As I pack my thirty-first bag, I can't help but think that these meagre resources are what one-third of the population survives on. I feel a twinge of guilt as I remember all the times I ate a full meal; at all the times I stocked up on blankets for the winter; at all the times I collected useless junk thinking my mother would be proud. Maybe I should have left those things where I found them. Maybe the factionless would've found them and used them.

I wake up from my daze when I hear someone snapping their fingers way too close to my ear. I jump up and see that my hands are squeezing this small piece of fabric.

"Wake up, Eaton," says a voice. I turn to my left and see Ashley standing there. She gives me a small smile, but it doesn't spread to her eyes. She walks back to where her plastic bag rests and continues packing it. I am suddenly reminded of what happened this morning. I'm Divergent. Those are the only words that swim around in my mind as I resume the task at hand - filling up these bags of rotten goods to give to people who are in deep need of them.

The morning goes by very slowly, with me counting each of my breaths. I spent the entire time thinking of why the Divergent are so dangerous that they have to add a special test to find them during initiation.

By the time it's lunch, my mind is drowning in questions about the Divergent and I'm about to lose it. I quickly sit down next to Ashley at our usual table near the window and fill my plate with the food laid out in front of us. Ashley must sense my restlessness because she smiles at me and mouths 'I'll tell you later'.

That calms me down a bit, but I still think about the Divergent and the conversation I heard last night.

After a few minutes, Ashley finishes the last morsel of food on her plate and we get up to wash our dishes. As we're about to leave, we see Sarah coming towards us. Uh oh. Sarah has a pretty tense expression on her face, and the fact that Ashley and I aren't exactly her favourite Initiates doesn't help.

"Can I speak to both of you?" asks Sarah.

Ashley stands stone-still, so I nod my head microscopically and Sarah leads us out of the room. We follow her down a series of dark gray hallways which were supposed to be out of bounds for us Initiates. After a few minutes of silent walking, we come to a dead end. There is a small keypad on the wall opposite us and Sarah types a code in it. The wall suddenly takes shape of a door and Sarah pushes it and walks through, with us trailing behind her.

Behind the door lies a small, stuffy room. The ceiling is higher than the rest in the building, but the walls are built close together and there are no windows. The room is only lit by two bulbs hanging from the ceiling and a lamp at the far end of the room. The room is sparsely furnished, with only a plastic gray chair and a half-torn sofa with two seats on it. Sarah walks towards the chair and motions for us to sit down on the sofa.

We sit down on the hard sofa and Sarah sits down in the chair. The lack of lighting doesn't allow us to see her expression, but I assume it's a mixture of anger and fear.

"Where were you both this morning?" she asks. I stiffen at the question, but Ashley glares at her.

"In the building," replies Ashley.

"No, you weren't. I saw you both leave the building."

"Then why didn't you stop us?" I say, without meaning to. Sarah looks at me and smiles a bit.

"Because then I wouldn't be able to confront you," she replies.

"'Confront us'?" says Ashley, "We're your Initiates. You shouldn't be confronting us."

"Well, I wouldn't have to if you both weren't so troublesome," replies Sarah.

"And we wouldn't have to be so troublesome if you didn't keep secrets," I say. I don't know how I managed to get those words out of my mouth. It must be Ashley's presence that gives me the courage.

"Secrets? We don't keep secrets," says Sarah.

"Yeah, right. We heard your little conversation last night. If you want to keep secrets, you should at least learn to be soft," says Ashley.

"I didn't think Marcus Eaton's son would spy on his own faction," says Sarah, clearly trying to make me the culprit.

"It must be how I've been raised," I say. Ashley and Sarah both stare at me, and I just realise what I've said. I blamed Marcus for my troublesome actions. All these years, Marcus blamed me for anything that went wrong and now I'm doing the same. A part of me feels good to finally be free from him, but a part of me knows that I might have just said the wrong thing.

"Well.. I called you here for something you both need," says Sarah.

"And what is that? Freedom?" says Ashley.

"No. A heads up."

A heads up? Why would we need that?

"You both are Divergent," says Sarah. Ashley and I stiffen at the statement and, for a minute, I think of playing it cool, but I decide against it and keep my mouth shut.

"How do you know?" asks Ashley.

"When I found what a trouble you were, I looked into your test results and found that they were entered manually."

"You... You can't do that!" says Ashley. She looks terrified and I think she's about to run away any minute now, so I grab her arm firmly and she stares at me.

"I also looked into your tests, Tobias, but your result was Abnegation."

"Then why do you assume that I'm Divergent?" I ask.

"Because of the way you act. No pure Abnegation acts like this."

"Isn't that a complete guess?" I ask.

"It's a calculated guess. But I wanted to verify your Divergence. That's why I brought you here," she says. My grip on Ashley's arm loosens and we stare at each other, our expressions mirroring each others feelings; Fear. I'm about to jump up and run out of the room, but Sarah stops me with her words.

"I'm here to help you." she says. Ashley and I stare at her, trying to believe that she would actually try to help us.

"I.. I only want you both to be safe. So.. I'm going to try to change the test for both of you. But to do that, I need to know how strong your Divergence is," says Sarah.

"Do you want to be safe?" she asks me. I stare at her, and think, Of course I do. But I can't say it. I don't want to trust her, and yet I do. I don't want to believe her words, and yet I do. I don't want to see her as a mother figure, and yet I do. So, I nod my head a little as I let go of Ashley's arm. I can feel her stare piercing through me, but I keep my head straight as Sarah gets up and goes to the far end of the room to retrieve something.

Sarah comes back with two small black boxes and one larger one. Ashley clutches my arm as Sarah opens one of the small black boxes to reveal a black syringe.

"Don't worry. I'm sure you've heard of the fear simulations, as part of the Dauntless Initiation," says Sarah, gesturing towards Ashley.

Ashley gulps and her grip on my arm tightens, her nails digging into my skin. I stifle a scream. The Fear Simulations?

"It's not as bad as you think," says Sarah, obviously sensing our unease, "I mean, so many Dauntless survived it. You have to survive it if you want to get through Initiation."

"But.. Why?" I ask.

"The true brave are the ones who can face their fears head on," says Ashley, almost mechanically.

Sarah nods a little and continues, "There are two types of fear simulations: the Fear Landscape, where people are aware that they are in a simulation and can, to some extent, manipulate it. The other is where you are not aware, and cannot normally manipulate it."

"'Normally'?" I ask.

"The Divergent can, " replies Sarah. Her small smile vanishes. "You'll be put through the simulation which you shouldn't be able to control. It's kind of like the aptitude test... Who wants to go first?"

Ashley looks half-dead, her face paler than ever, as she sits still as a statue. Perhaps it's bravery that compels me to say this, or perhaps it's the fact that Ashley is practically a stone, but I say, "Me."

Sarah looks a little happy, but she also looks a little scared. She nods her head a little and opens the bigger black box and takes out some strange paraphernalia consisting of some form of electrodes.

Soon, I'm sitting with my head up in the chair, looking at Sarah. She carefully tilts my head sideways and injects me with the strange liquid inside the syringe. The needle stings for a while, but then the pain is replaced by a strange drowsy feeling that slowly engulfs me. After about a minute, I black out.

I wake up in a different room. Different? What is this different from? I can't remember. I can't remember where I am or how I came here or what it is I was doing. All I know is I'm awake. And I'm terrified.

The cool metal floor stings my bare feet as I slowly walk around the room, trying to figure out where I am. That's when I hear the footsteps. They are pretty faint, but they keep getting louder and louder, the intensity breaking me to bits. I can hear my heartbeat in my ears as a strange shadow enters my vision. The figure walks forward slowly, and I move backwards. Moving slowly, he enters the lit area and I realise I know him. The short hair, the lean figure, the patronizing expression... It's Marcus.

Marcus slowly removes his belt as he walks towards me. Then, almost like magic, a dozen Marcuses appear around the room, all with the same expression. They all undo their belts and pull them up, getting ready to swing. Then, in unison, they say, "This is for your own good."

That's the last thing I see before I feel the swing. It keeps coming until I can't feel anything. That's when I remember, this isn't real. Suddenly, I remember where I am. I'm in an old room in The Confinement. I'm with Sarah and Ashley and I can get out of here. I just need to remind myself. The next blow comes. I think of everyone I know. Marcus. The edge of the belt stings my face. My mother. The belt slaps my side. Sarah. The belt pierces through the skin on my calf. Ashley. The sound of leather hitting skin intensifies in my ears. Beatrice. I forget everything that's happening. I picture Beatrice in my mind, her long blond hair swaying in the wind; her beautiful smile; her sweet, contagious laughter; her gentle yet strong features. I lose myself in the images of the people I know or once knew, and I black out.

I wake, barely being able to breathe. I see Sarah directly in front of me, staring at me wide-eyed. She gets up, removing something from her head, and I get up from the chair.

"How did you do that?" she asks.

"Do what?" I reply.

"Get yourself to forget what was happening?"

"Oh.. um.. I just did."

"Strange.. I've never seen anyone wake up from a simulation like that before. They usually manipulate the objects... Not their thoughts."

I feel a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Did I do something wrong?

"Okay.. Ashley, your turn, " says Sarah.

"No.. I don- I don't want to.. I really don't..." says Ashley.

"Don't worry, Ashley. I just have to reconfirm your Divergence."

"Wasn't once enough?! My result was inconclusive! I'm Divergent! I'm a mixture of Dauntless and Candor and I can control simulations! I don't think you need to 'reconfirm' that I can do that."

Sarah purses her lips as she thinks this over. It's true that Ashley's result was inconclusive so it should be obvious that she's Divergent. Mine was fake, so I can understand why my Divergence needed to be verified.

"Okay, " says Sarah. She picks up the apparatus and starts packing it. Ashley looks terrified and I can see a few tears rolling down her face. She covers her face with her hands and starts crying. I have no idea why, but I wrap my arms around her and give her a huge hug. The fear simulation was terrifying, but not as bad as she thinks. What does she have to fear so bad that she practically screamed her head off so that she wouldn't have to face her fears? That's when it hits me - her Divergence wasn't the only reason she transferred to Abnegation.

"Both of you can go for a small walk or something, if you want, " says Sarah, putting the boxes back where they belong.

"Okay, " I say. I let go of Ashley and we walk outside.

Outside, Ashley and I part ways. The sky is a little blue and pink, hinting that it's around 6. How long were we in that strange room? I think. It was a long walk to and from the place, and the simulation must've lasted a while.

I walk to the same place I went the last time, not knowing what I expected. Part of me prays that Beatrice waits for me yet again, but I know that it's a very stupid desire. I walk by the building where I met her, disappointed that she's not there. I didn't expect her to be, but I had my hopes high. I walk straight ahead to this small area which used to be a beach. The sand remains on the ground, slowly being dampened by the flowing waves. I stand there, my shoes getting soaked as the tide comes in, taking in the freedom. Is this what my mother felt like? I find that most of my thoughts are somewhat linked to my mother, as if she's still alive. As if she's still hiding somewhere, waiting for me to find her. But I know she isn't. She wouldn't leave me alone with Marcus.

"I didn't expect you to be here, " says a voice. I jump at the sudden breach in the silence and turn around, only to find the same blond hair and small features as yesterday.

"I didn't either. I mean, I didn't expect to see you here either, " I reply. I notice a small bag in her hands - she must have been collecting her monthly food allotments.

"Well, it's nice meeting you again."

"You too." I can't let her know I was kind of hoping to meet her.

"How is Initiation?"

"Strange."

"How so?"

"Well... It's confinement. They're imprisoning us and forcing us to help others."

She laughs a bit and says, "That's not entirely true. I mean, you're here, aren't you?"

"Yeah.. I'm sorry, I've just been having a bad day."

"It's fine. I'm not exactly a fan of this life either."

"What do you mean?" I ask, suddenly scared and a little hopeful at the same time.

"They can't force us to be one thing." I know I agree with her, I really do, I just can't bring myself to admit it. I don't want to be confined to a certain way of thinking.

"Don't you think you're taking a big risk here? You're trusting an absolute stranger to keep this secret thinking process of yours."

"You're not a stranger... You.. You're different. I just know I can trust you." I feel a weight lift off my chest. She trusts me.

"The Abnegation are probably the only people who trust so easily. All you have to do is think like the others."

"And it seems that you think like me." I do. I do think like her. We both are awkward. We're both not pure Abnegation. Is she Divergent too? Maybe she is. I have no way of knowing - she's just fourteen.

"I have to go now, Beatrice, " I say, walking away.

"Tris."

I turn back around to face her.

"It's.. Tris."

"Tris?"

"Yeah.. I like it more."

I smile a little. "Bye, Tris."

She smiles and turns to face the sea. I walk away, and back to the Confinement. I can't stop myself from smiling like a complete idiot. Tris. She's absolutely beautiful, trustworthy, and I just like her. I don't know why, but I do. I really, really like her.

I'm sorry if this chapter wasn't very good. I was having serious writer's block while writing, and it took me quite a while to finish it.
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