Chapter 10: The Act
A/N: Kumusta sa inyo? (How are you, everyone?) I am extremely grateful to Bagaudas who is my beta-reader. He's fuckin' awesome! I am happy that he finally got more reviews from those "controversial" chapters of his 2nd season. Don't worry, Bagaudas….Suportahan ta ka! (You're 100% supported!)
It has been ages since I updated my story. I've been depressed after what happened to my previous job. Well, things did not go well between me & the management so I had no choice but switch into another job which again I got another conflict with one of the people there so I just decided to divorce my career which I have loved & dedicated for couple of years. I've just being ended up betrayed anyways. I am still in the process of putting a big BOUNDARY between my personal me & my work me. I just decided to stay there till either I found a new job that I am 100% positive I would stick for so long or the girl on maternity leave returned to take over my job next year.
Enjoy!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
We became happy
in being accomplices
They had it.
They had the fucking Katana.
Which was totally awesome mind you, yet Rukia had been disappointed on how easy it was to steal- borrow it. She was expected some secret agent shit where Ichigo had to make a distraction while she swung into the attic window from another building via hand-glider or something. Instead she simply walked into Byakuya's rather large house, calling out that she was using his bathroom and then went into his bedroom, took the sword and simply walked out.
Nothing ever happens as planned sadly and there was no MI6 or CIA investigation, no KGB attack or no S.W.A.T invasion. She simply hopped into Ichigo's car and he drive off, but as he had grown to know her heart so well, he swiftly drove off as if it was a crime scene and they were escaping. After which they hid it in their apartment building and watched TV, Chappy in fact.
He was so considerate.
Any ways, her total fangirling aside, it was time to get down to business and the truck that Uryu promised was about to reach the destination point at 19:00 hours. As you can probably see she's totally in Mission Impossible mode. Ichigo was more of a 007man, as he said he had 'Class'. Geez Ichigo, way to rain on my parade. Either way, tonight had her heart pumping but obviously she had been feeling an undertone of excitement! She had a very...boring life before she met Ichigo. It was usually study, practice etiquette, eat a fancy dinner in a fancy way and then do boring stuff. When Kaien had been around it had been considerably less dull, but with Ichigo it was like an everlasting roller-coaster. Have you ever watched Lord of the Rings in a movie store eating food they bought from it's fridge? Right in front of the owner and other people? It's...embarrassing at first, but after a while it's pretty hilarious, try it. Or dancing in a car to punk rock? It's awkward, since you can't move your hips...or legs...or anything bar your torso and over, but still hilarious in it's own right. Ichigo was sort of calmer, yet he couldn't resist his beloved rebellious ballads.
Then she put her taste of music on and he was in a sour mood, but fuck him.
Right, back to business.
It was four or so hours till the truck drove through the little road. It was a dirt road of some sort, yet a legitimate road it seemed. (It was on Ichigo's GPS system, therefore totes legit) It had trees at it's left and right and seemed pretty secluded. It was perfect, Uryu actually planned well on this. Poor guy...
Unluckily for them, the road was long ways away and they were on the road now. As Ichigo sipped his beer, his usual band Social Distortion blared throughout the car. Any normal person would be worried, but Ichigo had grown so used to Ichigo's drunkenness that he seemed to be a perfect driver when he was intoxicated.
Probably because he was terrible while sober and just couldn't get any worse.
Although, while he was incredibly amusing when inebriated, she had grown worried. Rukia had grown comfortable enough to confide in the orange-haired buffoon about her problems and how she felt, however Ichigo kept in his problems and dealt with them by the consummation of alcohol...like, common knowledge dictates that that is a retarded way to deal with your problems. However, she had resigned to lecture him about it tomorrow considering the stupid position they'd end up getting into tonight. Who the hell robs a truck with a sword?! The man could be armed too! The only reason they had actually agreed to do this was because Uryu said there would be one guy.
If there wasn't...
"Give me one last, painful kiss!~" Ichigo sung. At least he was comfortable to sing horribly in front of her, that was a start.
"Don't quit your day job" Rukia mumbled under her breath.
"Do I even have one anymore?" Ichigo slurred. "I think I was fired like...weeks ago" He said. "Ah fuck it, I'm young and normally people are still living with their parents at this age, I'm all good" He said. "I can be a...model or something" He mused. "Hey Rukia, do I look sexy?" Rukia looked up and down at his figure. A simple pair of jeans, casual shoes and...
By the Gods...
A blue polo-shirt.
Such elegance and nobility.
"I'd bang you" Rukia said off-handedly, leaning her chin on her palm. Ichigo puckered his lips out and narrowed his eyes, nodding his head slightly as he felt like the bees knees. As Rukia checked her watch, she cursed slightly. "It's nearly time" She sighed, her heart pounding. What the fuck had she gotten into?
Ichigo turned his music up to get himself drunkenly pumped up. He was far more nervous than she was, for some reason. Wasn't he a local badass deviant who everyone in his old school- hell his old town feared? Ichigo Kurosaki, punk delinquent extraordinaire? She once spoke with the rather...eccentric friend of Ichigo's named 'Keigo' who told her a few...rather far-fetched tales of Ichigo that seemed to get larger and larger as he went on.
He steals porn with his Mexican BFF.
He can beat up ten bullies at one time.
He eats bullies for breakfast, lard-asses for lunch and dorks for dinner.
He destroyed a British fleet with a single drop-kick.
He decimated a Spartan army with a single jab.
He ended the entire Luftwaffe with a single headbutt.
She imagined a ginger Leonidus and got a sexier, more arrogant, more annoying, more idiotic, more insecure and more...nerdy Johnny Rotten. He took it as a compliment as a matter of fact.
These abs are real. He had said quite smugly. Can't argue with that.
As they pulled up, Rukia rose an eyebrow and Ichigo turned to her, seemingly worried. "Rukia if something happens tonight..." Rukia sighed as Ichigo was getting pretty sentimental. "I just want you to know that the past few days have been some of the happiest in my life"
Rukia rolled her eyes and- WAIT WHAT?
She suddenly blushed and grew sheepish. "Don't say things that that!" She blushed, as tsunadere as they come. "You'll be fine, your to stupid to die any way!" She snapped. Ichigo seemed to calm but her lips curled into a smile. "I've had fun too"
Ichigo beamed. "Your welcome"
Moment ruined.
"Get out of the car and lets just get this extremely stupid ordeal over with" Rukia sighed. Ichigo was worried again and he gulped, before saying slightly embarrassedly.
"Your like the most beautiful girl I've ever met" He said quickly. Rukia chuckled slightly and he continued. "And the best, not much would willingly watch the Matrix without asking a million questions" Ichigo said. Rukia tried to hide her smile, thinking him serious but suddenly had to cover her face in second-hand-embarrassment when he said the words. "I appreciate that"
"You're doing this on purpose"
Ichigo smirked. "I am"
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
A light in the distance caught the two's attention and the orange-haired man quickly had a heart attack before loudly whispering to the raven-haired woman. "Get on the road!"
Rukia quickly crawled and planted herself down on the dirt road in front of the cars direction, so that when the truck drove closer with the headlights on, he would stop the truck and get out.
Hopefully.
The car approached as Rukia lay 'lifeless' on the dusty ground, mumbling slightly as she lay uncomfortable on the hard ground, as planned the truck came to a halt and the the driver came out. As he got out, grumbling slightly Ichigo felt like he recognized the driver...a lot. As the orange-haired ninja grasped the sword that Byakuyayayayaya or something owned, he sneaked towards the driver.
"Aw for fuck sake!" The voice sounded familiar. "I have to get this truck to that ghost-looking fucker in like twenty minutes! Geez man!" Ichigo slithered behind the man and quickly pressed the sword against his neck, the blade wobbling slightly."What the hell?!" The man gasped, turning around to meet Ichigo's eyes.
W-What the hell?!
THE FUCK?!
"Yokochini?!" Ichigo gasped out, aghast. Rukia stared at them both, her expression one of confusion. The...afro, scruffy-haired truck-driver was the ugliest person she had ever seen, but it seemed like Ichigo knew him. Confusing Rukia even more, Ichigo burst out laughing. "Phew! I thought I was going to have a tough guy to beat up! Thank God!" Ichigo sighed.
"W-What you say you orange-haired batsard!" The truck driver, dubbed as 'Yokochini' yelled out. "Fight me like a man!"
Ichigo threw the samurai sword away, far into the bushes. "M'kay" Ichigo said nonchalantly. Rukia cursed loudly.
"Ichigo you fool!" She snapped. "What are you doing?!"
"Chill darling" Ichigo said indifferently. "This guy ain't no threat!" He turned to Yokochini. "Look you ugly afro bastard, give me the truck and beat it before I whoop your ass like I did when we were teenagers" Ichigo halted. "No wait, Rukia will whoop your ass, I'm bored of you"
"What?!" Rukia hissed. "I-I can't-"
"Yeah I#m not hitting a girl!" Yokochini yelled.
"Look, you're going to fight her you Goebbels-looking cunt-"
"W-What did you call me?!" Yokochini stammered.
"Yeah what did you call him?" Rukia asked.
"You're a gypsy-smelling bastard and your going to fight Rukia and she's going to kick your ass, then we're taking you to my Dad's clinic, getting you fixed up, the kicking your ass some more" Ichigo threatened.
"Ichigo-"
"Ssh!"
"Kurosaki-"
"You should be running she's going to kick your ass!"
"ICHI-" Rukia yelled, being cut off prematurely.
"RUKI-" Ichigo tried to retort, but he also was cut off.
"THAT DOES IT!"Yokochini roared. He turned to Rukia who gasped slightly. "If I have to beat you to get Kurosaki's attention I will!" He charged at Rukia with full intent of whooping her ass. "PREPARE TO DIE BITCH!"
Yeah, no.
Rukia just had to raise her foot and the 'Goebbel-looking cunt' had ran into the sole of it, breaking his nose and forcing him to the floor. Her eyes widened in shock as Ichigo cackled slightly, amused by the whole adventure playing out in front of him.
If there was any time for jumping up and down, clapping like a little girl, now would be the fucking time.
Rukia was beaming. "Oh my God I just kicked my first ass!" She grinned. While Yokichini grovelled in pain, Ichigo and Rukia were totally having the happiest moment of their relationship. She pranced up to him, and she grasped his forearms with hers, staring into his eyes. "I did it!"
"I always knew you could! And not just because I'm drunk!"
"Is he done? Can I do it again?" Rukia asked.
Yokochini was about to protest but Ichigo quickly answered. "Of course!" Grabbing the former bully by the scruff, he pulled him to his feet before turning to Rukia. "They're not made of glass, watch!" The orange-haired man leapt into the air and kicked the truck-driver right in the jaw with his two feet airborne, while not at the destructive powerr to destroy a British fleet, it still sent the man to the floor right in front of Rukia.
"Let me try!" Rukia almost begged.
Yokochini could cry...
xoxoxoxoxoxo
After practicing every move she had seen in shows like...Cliché Samurai movie, Cliché Ninja Movie, Rocky and WWE, they called it a day and quit wailing on the poor man Yokochini and took the truck, which Rukia was driving while Ichigo followed in his beloved Audi.
They drove to a small port just sixteen miles away from their hotel and came to a halt in front of it. Ichigo rose an eyebrow and the girl in front of him exited the truck. Copying her, he also got out of the car and Rukia seemed to be mingling awkwardly at the back-door of the truck. Ichigo rose an eyebrow.
"What?" He asked. "Send the truck into the river"
"About that..." Rukia said, her arms being her back as she dragged her right foot across the ground. "It seems like such a waste to destroy all this money" She looked to Ichigo. "Uryu said Ulquiorra didn't know the exact amount as the interest and fees that would be taken off it due to the delivery...so maybe if we take a teeny-tiny-"
"Fill your pockets quickly" Ichigo said before she could finish, walking to the back of the truck and lifted the sliding door. Miraculously the back of the truck was filled with money atop wooden...things with plastic wrapping over it. Ichigo had never seen so much money! Rukia...well she was a rich girl who's brother had connections with a bank.
Ichigo whipped out his trusty pocket knife- Since when did he have one of those?! Giving Ichigo a stern look, he chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. "I planned to do this ages ago"
Well.
As he filled his pockets with as much notes as he could carry, Rukia did so as well. They couldn't carry much, they filled their pockets and then carried some more in their arms, walking over to Ichigo's trunk and dumping it all in their. As the two stealing, ass-kicking, nerd-raging lovers decided enough-was-enough, they finally drowned the truck by driving the truck across the small abandoned pier and then quickly jumping out of the moving vehicle.
Well Ichigo did.
And know his right side was extremely bruised.
"Bitch" Ichigo grumbled.
Rukia kissed his nose in gratitude. "Thanks!" She beamed. "Now, all we have to do is wait till tomorrow and call the cops and bingo! Ulquiorra is searched and arrested!" She was pretty stoked, she had a fun night it seemed. Ichigo was also smiling as well. Rukia sighed in content, looking up at the moon. "Such a lovely night" She said, looking at the area she began to ramble. "Full moon, gorgeous stars, lovely grass hill and the moons reflection off the water..." She turned to Ichigo. "It's a perfect setting eh?"
Ichigo was oblivious. "For what?"
Rukia whispered in his ear.
"Ah" Ichigo nodded. A few seconds later he realized, with a grin. "Oh right!"
They quickly got naked.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
A/N: Don't worry; some words are mispelled on purpose for comedy reasons. I checked and there ain't any errors I can see so just stick it up as soon as possible!
Thank you for reading