After that, I tried not to brood. Really, I did…at least at first.

I had developed an appreciation for Bella's point of view that first night back, and tried to keep those images firmly in mind whenever I looked at her. Her sense of bliss and satisfaction was almost palpable, enhancing her soft, natural beauty. Her swollen abdomen got noticeably fuller by the day, and she often rubbed it gently, murmuring or singing in a low voice. Since even her nausea had passed, she was the picture of contentment. When she gazed at me lovingly with the quiet smile that now rarely left her face, it was difficult not to see things her way.

And then I would remember what I was.

I would remember that this was not a human baby, about to be born into early twentieth century Chicago.

I would remember that whatever this was, it was half vampire.

I would remember that we still didn't know what that would mean, either for it, or for Bella.

I would remember the legends.

I would remember the look on Kaure's face.

I would remember that last, single word she had spoken: morte.

And I was terrified.

It was all I could do to keep my terror from Bella, not to disturb her peace and happiness by insisting that we take action without delay to ensure her safety above all else. I had agreed to give it a few days and see how matters unfolded, and I would stick by that agreement no matter how thinly it stretched my sanity.

At first there had been no cause for immediate alarm.

I watched Bella like a hawk for the slightest sign that her condition was worsening, but other than the fact that her abdomen continued to swell every day and she continued to eat and sleep at least as much as she had on the island, if not more, she appeared stable.

Carlisle examined her each morning and seemed as satisfied as he could be with what he was seeing, given the extraordinary circumstances. The tests he had run at the hospital lab hadn't turned up anything that caused him any particular concern, although I knew that he wasn't sure what he should be looking for anyway. He had brought the ultrasound machine home, but as he had feared, it was unable to produce any kind of an image through the marble-like placenta. Bella had been quite disappointed about that one, but contented herself by regularly borrowing Carlisle's stethoscope.

It amazed me how much time both she and Rosalie could spend listening through that thing. She tried to get me to listen, too, but I begged off. Every time I heard the quick thump-tha-thump-tha-thump, it sounded to me like a clock, ticking off Bella's last minutes with alarming celerity.

Bella also reported feeling what she described as a 'nudge' from inside her every now and then, but no one else could feel anything from the outside of that placenta. I had been quietly grateful for that fact myself; I wasn't sure I could handle feeling the movement of God only knew what kind of creature from inside my wife's fragile human body.

And Rosalie was never far from her side. Since Bella had reassured her that it was okay, that she believed I wouldn't try to do anything rash, Rosalie tried to be subtle about lurking around us and listening for the slightest sign of trouble. It was slightly better than it had been at first; at Emmett's urging (after I convinced him that I was going to tie Rosalie to a tree far, far into the forest in another state if she didn't let up), she had started to give us a pretence of occasional privacy by moving out of our direct line of sight now and then.

But I knew from her thoughts that she didn't quite trust me.

We had lived together too long. She knew me too well.

Her presence didn't cease to irritate me, but in a way I didn't have the heart to do much about it, at least for the time being. It was too clear from her thoughts that in addition to her assumed role as the…baby's protector, she really just wanted to experience a pregnancy. Shadowing Bella was as close as she would ever get.

There were many reasons for me not to have much sympathy for Rosalie, but knowing that, watching how much Bella was enjoying being pregnant and knowing how badly Rosalie wanted that above all else for herself…I would have had to be a cold-hearted bastard indeed not to let her experience it in the only way she could.

Unfortunately, things changed. Quickly.

"Edward, I could swear Alice is avoiding me," Bella said one morning, frowning while she chewed a mouthful of yet another plate of scrambled eggs. At this rate, there was going to be a world-wide shortage of eggs before this…baby was ever born. In the four days we'd been back, we'd already gone through over two dozen, and it's not like there was anyone else in the house eating them.

I glanced over to where she sat at the breakfast counter, munching away thoughtfully while I loaded the dishwasher.

"I'm sure that's not the case, love. You're imagining things."

"She's barely been in the same room with me since the day before yesterday. If I go where she is, she finds an excuse to leave."

I thought back over the last 48 hours, but really hadn't noticed anything unusual where Alice or any of the rest of my family were concerned...other than Rosalie's constant hovering, of course, which was rather hard to miss.

"Why don't you just go read her mind for Bella and find out for sure?" Rosalie said as she sauntered into the kitchen from her perch in the next room. Speak of the devil. As usual, she hadn't been more than about four feet away from Bella. "It's not like you don't pick our brains on a regular basis for your convenience."

I growled quietly under my breath. As if she should point fingers at the moment with respect to anyone invading anyone else's privacy.

The truth was, I had been making a conscious effort to block out my family's thoughts since our first day back home. Either they were consumed with…baby thoughts and baby plans, or they were troubled by fears as to the ultimate outcome of Bella's pregnancy, neither of which I could tolerate. I had enough going on in my own mind, and more than enough thoughts of my own to paralyze me with worry.

I paused a moment to search out Alice's mind, and found her with Jasper in their bedroom upstairs, stretched out and reading a romance novel while he flipped through a magazine. Ugh. I didn't know how she could stand those things. Such silly, mindless drama.

No doubt she could have heard us talking down here, but she hadn't been listening; she was engrossed in her book. There was nothing else on her mind at the moment.

"It doesn't seem to me as though…" I started to say, but was interrupted when Bella suddenly clutched her side and doubled over, a loud "OH!" escaping from between her lips.

Rosalie and I were both instantly beside her. "Bella? Bella, love, what happened?" I demanded, slipping an arm around her shoulders to support her in her chair.

"Oh my…" she gasped, but slowly straightened up. "I think…I think my little nudger just turned into a little kicker." Her eyes were wide, blinking back pain.

"Did the baby just kick you?" Rosalie asked. I couldn't help glaring at her. Her thoughts were focused on the kicking, not the least bit on any pain that might have been caused to Bella.

"Yeah…and it was a good one, too. Right here…" She lifted up the side of the t-shirt she wore, an old one of mine large enough to cover her distended belly. So far, she'd refused to touch the frilly maternity clothes Alice had somehow found time to buy.

I couldn't suppress a gasp. Already visible against her pale, stretched skin were the beginnings of a bruise, at least an inch in diameter. The bluish purple colour seemed to deepen and spread as we watched.

I'd certainly never heard of such a thing happening to the mother of a human baby.

My jaw hung open as I reached out to gently touch the angry-looking welt. "Bella…"

She let the hem of the shirt fall and sat up quickly. "Oh, Edward. It's nothing. Babies kick, that's all." She seemed a little breathless, but was clearly doing her best to shrug off the pain and surprise.

"Not like that."

"Oh, how would you know?" Rosalie snapped impatiently. "Of course this baby is a little stronger than most. He's half-vampire. That should be no surprise."

"Maybe not to you, you sick…" I started to hiss at my sister, but was interrupted when Alice and Jasper both entered the room.

"What's going on?" Alice asked, frowning. "We heard Bella yell."

"I didn't yell," Bella protested. Her eyes darted toward me. "It wasn't that bad."

"The baby kicked and Edward thinks it's the end of the world," Rosalie sniffed. She looked at Bella hopefully. "Is he still kicking, Bella?" She was wondering whether she could feel that through the placenta, since she hadn't been able to feel any of the 'nudges'.

"No…moving around a little, maybe…or else that's my breakfast," Bella smiled a little and put a hand over her stomach. "Speaking of which…I don't suppose there are any more eggs left?"

I shook my head a little to clear it. She had just been assaulted from inside her own body and she wanted more eggs? She was inscrutable.

"Uh…I…that was the last of them, love. Esme's just gone out for more groceries this morning," I managed to reply.

"I'll make you something else, Bella," Rosalie offered. "How about some toast? I think there's sausage in the freezer. I could thaw that out, too."

"Mmm. That sounds good. Thanks." Bella reached out to grab my hand and give it a squeeze. "I'm fine, Edward. Really. Just hungry."

I couldn't think of anything to say to that. I had scrambled six eggs for her already.

This just wasn't…normal.

Instead, I turned to Alice. "Can I speak to you for a second?"

Sure.

I led the way to the back door, pausing only to give Bella a quick kiss on the top of her head. "I'll be right back, love."

Jasper followed along behind, guessing that his special brand of influence might be of some assistance with the way I was feeling: on the edge of hysteria.

When we had walked a little way into the forest, out of Rosalie's earshot, I gave Alice a long, searching look. "Alice…are you still unable to…see anything about…this? About Bella? Or…is it just that there's something you don't want to tell me?"

She answered out loud for Jasper's benefit. "I'm getting nothing, Edward. You should be able to tell that for yourself."

"Well, it's not like you don't have your ways of keeping me from knowing what you're thinking." She had all kinds of tricks. Reciting the Cyrillic alphabet. Singing the Korean national anthem over and over again in her mind. Quoting long passages of James Joyce.

I hated James Joyce.

"I'm not using any of them now," she replied. She deliberately opened her mind and I could immediately see she was telling the truth. She had nothing.

"And don't think I haven't been trying. Or that it isn't frustrating the hell out of me. I hate having no control," she added, a frown creasing her forehead.

"It gives her headaches, Edward. Bad ones," Jasper piped in. He reached out to gently stroke her hair.

That was true, too. But the headaches weren't being caused by the effort of Alice trying to force an image. They were caused by being around Bella herself.

That made the panic wash over me. What in the name of God was happening to her?

"It's like I told you when you first got back, Edward. Ever since Bella decided she wanted to keep the baby, her future just went blurry. Everything about her. I can see you, all of us, continuing to live in our house here in Forks, for example." She hesitated, unsure if she should finish what she was about to say.

Of course, I just picked it out of her mind anyway. I can't see if she's with us. I can't see if there's a child.

Gone? She was gone from our future?

I felt like I had been punched in the solar plexus. I was breathless, struggling for the air I didn't even need. I was actually dizzy.

I hadn't felt this way since Rosalie had called to tell me Bella had thrown herself off a cliff.

I must have visibly swayed on my feet, because Jasper suddenly had his arm around me to guide me to a seat on a nearby log. I could feel him throwing waves of calm at me, but they were doing little good. With great effort, I choked out the obvious question. "Then…She must…they both must…be dead. Right?" My voice sounded strange in my ears, as if someone else were forming the unimaginable words.

"No. No. There's no reason to think that." Alice sat down beside me and grabbed both of my hands in hers. "You know why I say that, Edward?" She locked her gaze with mine earnestly. She was probably thinking the answer to her own question, but I couldn't focus enough to find it in her mind.

"I say that because I see you there. If she were…gone…I don't think you would be. If you know what I mean."

She was right. I wouldn't live without her. That much was certain.

I frowned anyway as I tried to process that, reason it through. "But doesn't that just mean that I haven't made that decision yet? The decision to…die too? Because she isn't dead…yet?"

"Maybe, but I think it also means that you don't have a reason to make that decision, Edward. Because that part of the future isn't set yet."

I still couldn't process that. It didn't make any sense.

"Edward, I think what Alice is saying is that she just can't tell how it's going to turn out with Bella. So we're in no different position right now than we were an hour ago, or two days ago," Jasper volunteered.

He shot another wave of calm toward me, but now I just felt frustrated. "Well, we would know how it's going turn out if we could just deal with this and get it over with already."

"She's not going to let you do that," Alice shook her head. "You know that. She wants this baby."

"She's not thinking clearly!" I snapped, jumping to my feet. "She can't sacrifice herself for the off chance that this thing won't kill her! I'll make her see it."

"Edward, you can't control everything," my sister said quietly. "Bella is her own person."

"She'll listen to me. I'll make her listen."

Edward…They both called after me soundlessly, but I was already halfway back to the house.

When I arrived, I was surprised to find that Carlisle was there, in the middle of the day when he was supposed to be on shift at the hospital. He, Esme and Emmett had joined Bella and Rosalie in the kitchen.

He had come home because he wanted to try an amniocentesis, and he had finally obtained the equipment he would need. Rosalie was arguing with him. "…I've read about this, Carlisle. It can be dangerous for the baby. I don't think it's a good idea, not when we know so little about him."

"That's the point, Rosalie," Carlisle replied quietly. "I need information. I can't do an ultrasound, the other tests aren't telling me anything that isn't obvious…I need to know what we're dealing with, here."

Bella was in the same seat at the counter, looking back and forth between the two of them with a frown creasing her forehead, a hand still draped across her stomach.

"But you could hurt him in the process!" Rosalie turned to Bella. "You don't want that, right, Bella?"

"Of course not," she murmured. "No."

When I got to her side, she glanced up at me gratefully, clearly glad to see me back. I slipped an arm around her and pulled her close. "Nothing dangerous, right, Edward? Carlisle wants to…"

"I know, I heard." My lips pressed together in a tight line. Alice's vision of a future without Bella in it had been a fresh reminder of what I had known was inevitable from the beginning. I had been humouring my wife. I had let her unfailing, unreasonable optimism cause me to question my resolve.

But now…it was time to deal with this before it was too late, too advanced. Before something happened that we weren't prepared for, that we couldn't handle.

I looked down into Bella's eyes. Warm chocolate. But tired. Faint circles were starting to appear under them as if she hadn't slept in a week, even though she had slept 14 hours last night alone. How had I missed that? Was I imagining it now? Had her cheeks become slightly sallow, sunken?

My resolve hardened.

"Bella…" I began carefully. She wasn't going to like what I had to say, but I had to make her see reason. It occurred to me that we should perhaps have this conversation in private, but it wasn't as though my family wouldn't hear us talking anyway. I also wanted their support in this. I knew Rosalie would argue, but she would be the only one.

"Edward…" her frown returned. She didn't like something that was already apparent on my face. "Nothing dangerous. Right?"

"Bella…I think it's time we look at this objectively, reasonably. We've given Carlisle a chance to examine you, to assess the situation and try to do some research. They've all been trying to research." I gestured at the rest of my family. Alice and Jasper had also now returned from the woods.

"No one can find anything," I continued. "What we have found has all been negative, to say the least. All of the accounts that are available all end only one way. The worst way." I reached up to stroke the side of her face. "I can't lose you that way, Bella. I won't."

Her hand automatically rubbed her swollen abdomen. "Those are just stories, Edward," she said quietly. "We all agreed on that. No one knows for sure."

"Maybe, but the risk is there. And now that the…you're being kicked, with enough force to cause bruising on the outside of your skin…I think that gives us enough of an idea of what we're dealing with here. It's too strong for you. We have to…we have to deal with this before it gets worse. Before there's permanent damage. Before it's too late."

"'Deal with this'?" she repeated, her eyes widening. "What are you saying, Edward?" She looked over toward Alice and Jasper. "Alice? What is he saying? What were you guys talking about out there? Have you seen something?"

Alice shook her head sadly. "No. Nothing, Bella. I have no information either way."

Bella now turned to Carlisle. "Carlisle?" Her voice rose an octave. "No one knows for sure. So there's no need to worry, right?"

Carlisle glanced over toward me. He was on side with me, I realized gratefully. The risk of the unknown was just too heavy in this situation. "Bella, the risk is great. Very great. And I didn't know about this bruising…"

"It just happened this morning. It was nothing." Reflexively, she yanked up the side of her t-shirt again to show him, but the sight made almost all of us gasp out loud: the bluish bruise had now turned a purple so deep it was almost black. And it had been joined by another bruise the same horrid colour, a few inches below the first one. There had been another violent kick and she hadn't even said anything about it.

At our reaction, she yanked the shirt down just as quickly. "It was nothing," she insisted.

"Oh, Bella." Esme reached a hand out to squeeze Bella's gently. The motherly concern was etched into her face.

"Bella…" I pressed ahead, cupping her chin with my hand so she would look at me again. "Your body is too fragile for this. Surely you see that now. It's time to stop it."

"No."

"No!" Bella's firm 'no' was followed by Rosalie's shriek. "Bella! You can't! You'll regret it the rest of your life…the rest of your existence, if this is what you still choose. Trust me!"

"You shut the hell up," I growled at my sister, low and deadly. "This isn't about you, and it's not your decision."

"It's not yours, either! It's her body! You may think you can control the whole world, but it's her body!" Rosalie was ready to lunge at me, but Emmett had grabbed her arm.

"She is not going to die for this, Rosalie," I snarled. "I won't have it. It's not an option. You may think she's expendable, but I certainly do not."

"Carlisle, you won't actually consider doing this, will you?" Still struggling against Emmett's grasp, Rosalie turned to Carlisle now. "You took an oath! You promised to protect life!"

"That includes Bella's life, Rosalie." Carlisle sighed, and I could tell from his thoughts that he had already spent a considerable part of the last few days thinking this through. He didn't like it either, but was coming to believe that there would be no other choice, whether today or five days from now. "The risk to Bella is too great."

"But I choose to assume that risk," Bella stated flatly. "It's my choice. I made it a week ago, or however long it's been. I haven't changed my mind. I'm not going to change my mind."

"Bella, you're not thinking reasonably," I told her.

"Don't tell me how I'm thinking, Edward. You don't know how I'm thinking."

How well I knew that.

"You don't want to die, Bella. Surely you don't." I looked at her searchingly and saw only her own resolve. She could be stubborn, too.

Shamelessly, I reached for the only weapon I could think of, the only thing that might make her reconsider. "You don't want to leave me, do you Bella? I couldn't stand it. I couldn't." My voice broke on the last word.

She sucked in a deep breath. I had hit home. She couldn't be the cause of my pain any more than I could be the cause of hers.

I saw her swallow heavily. It took her a moment, but she straightened her shoulders and sat upright in her chair. "I'm not going to leave you. I'm not going to die either, at least not…permanently."

She glanced around the room from face to face. "Look, we already knew that my transformation was going to happen soon. That became non-negotiable long ago. The only thing that's changed is that I'll have this baby first. If at some point it starts to go…badly…I mean, really badly, for the worst, Edward can step in and start the process before I'm…gone. All I need to do is get to the point when the baby is big enough to be born. I can do that. I will do that."

Only Rosalie visibly relaxed. Everyone else was exchanging looks, not sure what to make of Bella's words at first. Then, as they considered it, their thoughts tended toward her point of view once again, just like they had that first day we had arrived back. Sounds reasonable…so brave…could work…was planning to change anyway…really wants this baby…seems to have thought it through…venom should be able to act in time…

"No!" I roared at them, stepping back to look at them. They couldn't honestly be considering this! "This is Russian roulette! There's no way I'm taking this kind of chance. Not with her life!"

"I don't see where you have a choice, Edward," Rosalie retorted.

This time it was my turn to lunge. "I thought I told you to shut the hell…" For the third time, Jasper and Emmett had me before I could get to her throat.

"Edward!" I heard Esme say sharply. "Stop that!"

"This is ridiculous! Why are we even discussing this?" I demanded, now the one to struggle against the firm restraints of my brothers' hands. "Carlisle, you must have anaesthetic available. We'll just…"

"Are you serious?!" Rosalie snarled. "You love her so much, yet you'd actually think of knocking her out against her will and just cutting her open to…"

"No!" Bella shouted, wrenching herself to her feet. "No one is doing that! Do I have to leave this house?"

"Of course not, Bella." Esme was at her side, a comforting arm around her shoulders.

"I will protect you, Bella, both of you, just like I told you I would," Rosalie stated. "It will be over my dismembered body that anyone does anything like that to you."

Rosalie's dismembered body. God help me, that was starting to sound good right about now.

"And I'll help her."

I stopped trying to pull away from Jasper and Emmett and gaped at Esme. Carlisle, too, was looking at her in surprise. She looked at us both evenly from her place next to my wife.

"I know how you feel, Edward, and I hate to see you this way," she continued. "But it's her choice. I can't stand by and watch anyone do such a thing to her against her will. It's not right."

I turned toward Carlisle and found that he was simply nodding, even though his eyes were on my face. They're right, Edward. She would never forgive you – or me – for that. Ever.

Sorry, bro'…Emmett was the next to cast a thought toward me. I have to side with them on this one. If I didn't, Rosalie would never forgive me, either.

Four – five – against one. I didn't even bother to see where Alice and Jasper would throw their support. It didn't matter.

There was nothing left to say. Shrugging out Jasper's and Emmett's grasp, now loosened, I stormed into the living room and released my fury on the first thing I could get my hands on – the plasma TV. It crashed to the floor in pieces just as I launched myself out the front door, running into the night.

The last words I heard were from Emmett: "My TV? Again?"