Disclaimer: Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. All characterizations, plot lines, backgrounds and details belong to Bella Baby24. Plagiarism is bad. Just say no.


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The YouTube video that Lily posted of Masen's run-in with his teenage mistress was an instant hit. It circulated through MySpace, Facebook, and Twitter quickly and it was deemed the newest internet sensation. No matter how many times I watched it, I still found it funny.

According to my father, Tanya and Masen did not find it quite as humorous as I did. People were calling the number on the flyer, which was Tanya's cell phone, to talk about abuse and being a teenage mother. Not to mention, Tanya was labeled as a whore in the business community after they found out she was the reason for my failed marriage.

My stepmother and Masen's mother were horrified by the gossip. I heard through the grapevine that Masen was being blacklisted at the country club and that his employer was embarrassed by Nicole's display outside the office.

It must be tough for him to have everyone know what an adulterous bastard he was.

On the other hand, people were coming out of the woodwork to support me. Wives from Credit Suisse still called to invite me to lunch. Lawyers who belonged to our club were offering me legal advice. Mostly, people wanted to assure me that I was better off without the adulterous asshole.

The fallout from the prank involving Nicole got me feeling guilty for torturing Masen. I decided that it was time I left the poor man alone. I had loved him at one point and I didn't want to see him completely ruined.

Right?

-o-o-o-

My sympathy toward Masen lasted less than half a day.

Just after I made the decision to abandon my war of revenge, Masen called me.

"Annabelle, I hope you enjoy ruining me. The gossip here at Credit Suisse is severely hurting my career."

"You're only feeling a fraction of the pain you caused me, Masen," I responded.

"Fuck, Annabelle. I didn't mean to hurt you. I can't help that I fell in love with Tanya. You're purposefully hurting us," he exclaimed.

"Well, you did make the choice to start the affair in the first place, so we're both guilty of making choices that hurt the other. I can't apologize for my actions. The best we can do is put it behind us. Hopefully, we can work on our divorce amicably."

"I would really like that. The sooner we get this divorce finalized, the sooner we can move on," Masen stated jovially.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were in a hurry to get married again," I joked.

The silence was deafening.

"You're going to marry that home-wrecking slut?!?!" I screeched.

"Anna," Masen sighed, "I love her. Of course I want to marry her. I'm shocked this even surprises you."

"Of course you love her. She worships you and she's easy. What happens when she leaves you for the next married man she wants to fuck?" I spat.

"There's no need to get upset. Let's just end our marriage as quickly and quietly as possible."

"This isn't even close to being enough. You can thank my trashy stepsister for prolonging our divorce. If she wants to marry you, then she can wait."

I knew I was being selfish and bitter, but I wasn't going to just hand my husband over to Tanya. It was time to teach the bitch some patience. She couldn't wait until he was divorced to fuck him, but she would have to wait until he was divorced to marry him.

"Anna, don't be a bitch. I really tried to make our marriage work, but it's over."

"Please, Masen," I said sarcastically, "Like you expect me to believe that you tried. You spent more time driving your car and fucking my stepsister than you did with me."

"Enough. Stop acting like a child. You're just pissed that I love my Aston Martin more than I ever loved you!"

"Nice to hear you finally admit it, asshole," I spat. I hung up the phone with one final thought…

You're going to wish you never said that.

-o-o-o-

After my phone call with Masen, I did some research on ways to vandalize his car without endangering his safety. I wanted to humiliate the man, not kill him. Hours later, I came up with the perfect plan.

The next week, Lily and I snuck into the parking garage at Masen's office. He had an assigned parking spot that was in the corner farthest from the elevator. When he was assigned that space, he was upset because it was located in a blind spot for the security cameras. When he expressed his concern for his beloved Aston Martin, I had laughed at him and told him he was worrying about nothing.

Little did he know…

Lily and I stuck-sprayed the Aston Martin with adhesive and covered the entire body in bumper stickers. The stickers would be difficult to remove and would destroy the car's paint. To make the event as humiliating as possible, the stickers had the following sayings on them:

"My Dick is the Size of a Vienna Sausage"

"Available For: All Male Gang Bang"

"Follow Me for a Free Blowjob"

"I Bang My Mother"

"I Eat My Own Jizz"

"I Sniff My Mom's Panties"

"Sorry Ladies, I Suck Dick"

"I Have Herpes"

"I'm Not Gay, But My Ass Is"

-o-o-o-

I was thankful that Masen was so predictable in his routine. He was too lazy to walk up the stairs of the parking garage, so I was certain that Lily and I would be safe hiding in the stairwell. I couldn't wait for Masen to discover the art on his car. The damage to the exterior was going to push him over the edge.

God, he was going to be pissed.

Just when we started to lose patience, Masen exited the elevator and started toward his parking space. His face ignited in rage when he noticed the current state of his car. He threw his briefcase down and started screaming expletives. He reached into his suit pocket and pulled out his cellphone.

Mine began to vibrate in my purse as Lily and I tried not to laugh. I saw the name "Satan" flash across the screen and hit ignore.

I was shaking in silent laughter when Masen screamed into his phone, "You Mother-Fucking, Bitch! You've finally done it, Annabelle! If I were you I'd run, because I am going to make your life a living hell!"

How much do you love your car now, bitch?


A/N: I wish I could take credit for this wonderful idea, however, the lovely squarepancake thought of plastering bumper stickers all over Masen's car.

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for anyone attempting this prank. If you're going to put bumper stickers on someone's car, make sure they're magnetic.