Well Can You Feel Me Now?

Having Ghost around should've been second nature to me. After all, he was around me all the time supposedly. I guess it was different when I didn't have to look at him or talk to him. But having the physical, visible, Ghost lounging in my bed made me all jittery. I didn't exactly feel awkward . . . More like flustered. Usually when I was around Ghost I was pissed at him. But right then, I didn't feel any anger towards him at all. Which forced me to concentrate on the way being around him made my heart flutter - even this newly transformed vampified heart.

"Music?" I asked, sitting down in my spinny desk chair.
"Sure," he said, leaning over my bedside table to examine the books there.

I went over to my IPod dock and lowered the volume before hitting play. "Do This Anymore" by Nickelback came on.
"I like this song," he mumbled, picking up one of my books. He lifted up my copy of Hunted.

"What's this?" he asked.
"House of Night," I told him, "Vampire book."

He smirked and lifted Kissed by An Angel.
"Ghost story," I said, feeling like if it was possible, my cheeks were probably on fire. Not only had my reading selections consisted of vampires but ghosts. Freaking lovely.

Still smirking he lifted the next book. Luckily this one was safe.
"Jane Eyre," I said, "It's -"

He lifted a hand. "Even though I am sorely lacking in the ways of teenage girl books. I am familar with the classics."
"You read Jane Eyre?" I asked.

"Of course not," he said, "I just know what it's about. I have a very busy life as vampire spy. I don't have time for books when I'm out on top secret missions."
I half laughed, half snorted. "Is that what I'll be doing from now on?" I teased.

He answered seriously though. "For a while . . . A decade or two of finding new vampires before joined Alonzo's war. Who knows? Maybe it'll be over then."
"So until that war ends . . . I'm stuck with the same life forever?" I asked.

"It's not that bad," he said, "Not at all. Plus you're only mandated fifty years of service - that's what the contract said. That's a drop in the bucket for us."
"Fifty years seems like a long time."

"Yeah I know. But Jessamine is nearly a thousand. And God only knows how old Cruz is . . ." he mumbled.
"I guess . . . Still it's a lot of years . . ."

"I've been there . . . what? Like nearly six months and I've gotten pretty into it," he said, "Training, fighting, hunting, feeding, tracking. Eventually it becomes all you know."
"So that's it? That's my life from now on?" I asked.

"No . . .It's not a convent. We're allowed to have friends . . . go out, date. Whatever. We're not in prison."
"I guess . . . " I mumbled.

"Besides, you get to keep your human life for a while," he reminded me, "Most people don't have that choice."
That got me thinking of something he'd said earlier that night. "You said before that you didn't have a choice in becoming a vampire . . . what did you mean?"

Of course I'd asked the stupidest question. He looked away from me, like he was suddenly amazed by the outlet on the wall.
"Nothing . . ." he mumbled, seeming defensive, "I had a . . . bad accident. The vampires saved me. I didn't have a choice, that's it."

I was about to ask what had happened but decided to keep my big mouth shut for once. This could go really well or fantastically horrible. It all depended on what I did and did not do . . . And Ghost's moodiness. But I had to at least try not to set him off.

"Oh . . . well what are some of the power's the other vampires I have?" I wondered.
"Well Cruz reads minds. Obvious why he's the leader and that he's like ancient . . . but still really cool. Jessamine can see the future which makes her an obvious choice for second in command. Benjamin can wipe people's memories . . . which was what he was supposed to do with you. Joseph has like well . . .what I like to call x-ray vision. There's some fancy word for it but he can basically see through walls and clothing if he wants too. Yeah, I'd wear a coat next time I saw him if I were you, or maybe four. Anyway, Sophie is an empath. She can like . . .feel other's people's pain and emotions and stuff. That's how she knows so much about human behaviors. And I think that's everyone you know, right?"

"No . . . I sort of met Lucas and uh . . . Hattie," I tried to remember, "And you forgot Angel."
He grimaced but covered quickly. "Lucas can sense things about a person by holding something of theirs - like things they've done and people they've seen and sometimes thoughts. Hattie's a pyrokinetic . . . Oh and Angel has healing abilities."

"Wow . . . I wonder what I'll be able to do . . . " I mused.
"I'm sure whatever it is it'll be great," he said, "We wouldn't have picked you if we didn't think you had potential."

"I hope . . ." I mumbled, "Hey . . . Why don't I want blood or anything?"
"Too early," he said with a wave of his hand, "Your blood still had nutrients in it. It'll take a few days for your body to absorb all the iron and other stuff we need out of it. Then you'll want blood . . . a lot."

"Will it be bad? Like the bloodlust?" I asked, "In books and movies it's bad."
He shrugged. "Depends. Everyone is different. I've only seen a few vampires go through it, and they were all pretty average. But I heard that Hattie had it bad, so did Joseph. I heard Angel's was practically nonexisent though."

"What about you?"
"Pretty bad I guess," he said with a shrug, "I've heard of worse though."

"What did you do?" I wondered.
"Nothing," he answered too quickly.

I let it drop and was silent. The sound of "Take Me Under" by Three Days Grace the only noise in the room.
"So what do you wanna do?" I asked, trying to get him to talk to me.

"I dunno," he mumbled.
"Wanna play a game?" I suggested.

"That depends on the game," he said.
"Truth or truth?"

"What?"
"It's like truth or dare. Only without the dare," I explained.

"Isn't that just asking people questions?"
"Well yeah . . . But when teenage girls have sleepovers they're not just gonna grill each other. They have to make it a game."

"A sneaky little species you teen girls are," he accused.
"Yeah, that's us," I said, "Devious."

"Yeah . . . you're just so devious," he said sarcastically, "I'm fearing for my life as we speak."
I rolled my eyes. "So what? You wanna play?"

"Fine . . . But only cause there's nothing good on TV on Tuesdays," he said. "But if you ask me anything I don't want to answer I will not hesitate to toss your ass out that window."
"Agreed," I said, "Are you a virgin?"

"That's it," he said, getting up, "Out the window you go."
"Hey, what are you doing?" I protested as he lifted me off the chair and carried me over to the window.

"I told you I was going to throw you out the window," he reminded me.
"Oh I don't think so," I said, laughing and twisting free. But in that one jerking moment, I ended up causing both of us to fall on my bed somehow.

"Whoa!" I gasped as we flopped down onto my bed. I landed first, underneath Ghost, but he stopped himself before he completly landed on me, so he was just hovering above me with his arms on either side of me, holding himself up. I was going to laugh but when I was staring up at him, it didn't seem so funny anymore. Staring into those blood red eyes I could see actual depth, depth I didn't expect Ghost to posses. Or at least for me.

I'd run miles and kept my breathing even the entire way, but now I was breathing hard. Not from anything physical, just emotional. Ghost wasn't hyperventalating like me; he was just staring at me. He seemed startled, but his eyes were just so intense. I felt like he shooting lasers at me. I couldn't tell if he angry or mad or what. And even when he crushed his lips to mine, I still didn't know what the hell was going on.

Only that he was kissing me and that I really really liked it. Hell, if Ashton Kutcher walked in here and handed me an Oscar and a Pulitzer Prize, all my dream's would've had had come true. I was a vampire . . . making out with a hot vampire guy. I'd only dreamt about this since I was twelve years old and I almost couldn't enjoy it since I was so confused. Before tonight, Ghost hadn't given the slight impression that he'd liked me at all. Mostly he'd acted like I was just making his job harder. Until tonight when he'd given indiciation to wanting to be my friend. And then BAM! He was kissing me. What the fuck? Not that I minded . . . I was just getting a headache. Could vampires get headaches?

You see, that's my problem. I was mulling over Vampire anatomy while a totally hot guy was sucking on my lower lip. See? That's a problem. Normal people don't do that. When a hot guy is on top of you and is biting your tongue, you pay attention to him for Christ's sake. Finally, I was able to pull myself out of my own little world and concentrate on what the hell Ghost was doing to my tongue.

Once I was concentrating on Ghost, he was all I could think about. How his body felt surprisingly warm against my seemingly cold one. How I could hear and feel his heart slamming away in his chest. The way his soft lips and sharp fangs balanced each other out perfectly against my skin. How soft his hair felt under my hands, like fine silk. How strong I'd felt when I'd managed to roll us over and trap him underneath me. The way I could play with his lip ring with my tongue. The way my tongue stung when his sharp fang grazed it, causing it to bleed for a brief moment.

He'd moaned in pleasure at the taste, so for revenge I'd purposely bit his lip with my canines - hard. He'd made this endearing yelping sound which made me smile inside; so much for no pain reflex. I'd licked the blood off his lips, grinning on the inside. It'd tasted pretty good but not like how I imagined blood to taste to a vampire. Maybe because this was vampire blood. I didn't dwell on it though, I just continued licking the blood off his lip until it stopped bleeding - surprisingly fast. With a sexy growl, he'd wretched himself out from under me, rolling us over again with him on top, once again.

In the background, "Hear Me Now" by Framing Hanley played.

"Now my body's on the floor and I am crawling
Well I'm crawling out to you

Well can you feel me now?"