A.N: Thank you for reading and thank you for the reviews. I'm wondering where Coltxdoom is at this point hahaha he's such a fan of these two. I hope you're liking it meng! Enjoy and sorry about the chapter before, there was no chapter ten yet I accidently put it in twice because my computer was having issues and I didn't notice until it was pointed out so thank you 3ninjasfan! This chapter was so hard, I don't recall the mindset of 4 year olds so good but I worked and worked on this scene so I hope it came out ok.
...
Rocky and Robbie enter Arc's bedroom. Looking about the room the ninja smiles about the Power Rangers posters on the wall to the left, and to the right is a poster of a ninja dressed in white with throwing stars in his hand. The wall itself, though, is a light blue almost teal with paw prints running along here and there. Arc's toys were mostly race cars and Lego's, a few stuffed toys like bears and a caterpillar, and a chibi doll, male, that he recognized because Paula used to collect them growing up. Rocky wondered if the boy plays with the doll or was it just a present from a relative that thought it was cute.
Robbie pulled the covers back on the zoo decorated bed then nabbed the sleeping boy from his lovers back, carrying him over to the bed he lays Arc down pulling over the covers.
"The un-troubled sleep of the innocent." He says absently. "So, what do we do now?"
Their voices fade down the hall as they talk about something the young boy can't make out. Eyes open, he slips out of his bed after tossing the covers aside. Walking to the closet he reaches for an old shoe box, little hands take the lid off and sorting through the contents he locates a handful of letters mailed in pink and pale blue envelopes; leaving the lid on the floor he brings the box over to his bed climbing back in. A frown on his face, he tries for the life of him to hold back tears.
Opening one of the blue envelopes he removes the letter from inside. His crystal clear four year old eyes look at the message written on the paper as though it were a foreign language, but underneath it is a picture taped to the left corner. He could vaguely remember what his mother said to him one night while she rocked him in his favorite chair. It was something about this man here, and how they will all be together the day he finds him.
"Blue green eyes, blond hair, ...he's my Dad." He sniffles as he recalled what Rocky had said on the way home. "Mommy said he would love me, and that we'd be together... but she's not here and he doesn't want me." Looking at the picture more carefully, he cocks his head. "Maybe its not him, this guy has shorter hair than that guy out there, and he looks old too..." He runs the back of his sleeve past his nose. 'Will he get mad if I ask him? Grown-ups don't like bad questions, I seen big sister get yelled at when she asks some guys if they like her.' His little fingers scratch his moist chin. 'But at least she gets to know, so I'm gonna ask him.' Folding the note, he drops the box on top of the dresser beside his bed then lays down falling loosely asleep.
...
Arms wrapped firmly around each other the two fall down onto Robbie's bed, lips in a fierce tango breaking only to give them some air; during the pant Robbie leans back into the kiss breaking it with a loud 'mua', before removing himself from the blond.
Sitting up on the bed he looks down at his boyfriend then says. "Hey Sam,"
Dual eyes fixed on the brunet he answers. "Hmm?"
"Oh, nothing." Robbie waves it off. "I just wanted to see if you'd answer to it."
Making a face of wonder, Rocky sits up as well. "Why wouldn't I answer to it, its my name." He rests his head on Robbie's shoulder, an arm around his back. Turning his head he peppers kisses along the males neck.
He closed his eyes savoring the intimacy as if they were all alone in warm dark place, lit only by their feelings for each other. He enjoyed the peppery scent of his boyfriend's cologne, or deoderant? It was hard to say. But he'd almost forgot what he was saying when the moist tip of Rocky's tongue brushed his pulse point.
Shuddering, he regained his focus. "I know, but since I've known you its been Rocky this, or Rocky that... I don't know, I guess I just wanted to taste Sam."
"Taste Sam?" Rocky repeated in amusement. "Alright then, Iiiivan, what does Sam taste like?"
Rolling over on top of him, he kisses him deeply then answers. "Mmm, familiar."
"Really? Could it be because I am Sam?" He added after a second thought. "Just like how you're Robbie and Ivan."
"Oooohh, I get chills when you say my name."
Laughing at that, Rocky gives in to the grind but when catching himself returning the movement, he whispers into the kiss. "Don't make me hard."
"Oooh, I love it when you say that too."
Laughing, he gave the brunet a shove off before straightening his posture. "Whatever."
"Bleh, Sam and Ivan are dorks, listen to how their names sound together." He says in a thoughtful tone. "They could never make it as a couple."
"Never." Rocky agrees. "Now Rocky and Robbie, it has a certain ring to it, right?"
"Yeah." He thinks quietly to himself then smiles. "Hey, Rock', do you know how to cook?"
"A little bit, I guess. I make a better sous than a chef." Rocky cocks a brow. "Why?"
"I don't know, I just think that we'd have to eat at home at some point, so one of us has to know how to do it- once I convince you to live with me someday."
"Live with you?" Rocky can't help but smile at the thought, as far out as it is. "What makes you think that will ever happen?"
"Whaaaat?" He shoves Rocky this time. "You said our names have a certain ring to them," He wriggles his ring finger. "I'm gonna assume its an engagement ring."
Rocky laughed hard so suddenly he thought something might crack. "Dream on, Fabio."
"Think about it?" He laughs out. Holding out a hand he moves it slowly before them. "An apartment somewhere in the city, with two rooms incase we have a fight" He smiles at Rocky's laughter to that. "I'll decorate because my room rocks, and you... you can do all the cooking and cleaning- because you always take care of the dorm when I leave for classes- I know its not a ghost, don't deny its you." Thinking with a 'hmm' he then goes on. "Our neighbors will suck but that's alright it just gives us something to talk about on verbally slow days, and what else...?"
"We'll have two dogs named Punchinello and Judy-idiot."
"Hahahaha, yeah." Another thoughtful sound, then he asks. "What would we fight about?"
"My insane jealousy anytime a girl talks to you." Rocky ponders outloud.
Nodding, Robbie says. "It would probably be the other way around, girls don't talk to me much- I'm more the good-little-buddy type. I'd probably fight with you about your distance."
"I'm not that distant."
"But when you are," He phony shivers. "ice fuck."
That made the ninja chuckle. "I had no idea I did that."
"Now you know."
"Mm. And you know, I'd probably get mad at you for coming home with injuries because you don't want to defend yourself."
"Understandable." He nods. "I wish I went shopping before we left, there's no protection in this house and I'm so ho-.."
Rocky covered the males mouth with his hand. "Don't say that, there are young ears in the house."
Removing the hand though keeping a hold of it to return it once he's spoken the male says. "He's asleep, though- And I was gonna say HOT."
"But still... if you're gonna talk like that take it outside."
Robbie made a face but actually did get up and leave. "I'm going shopping, for someday." He adds before disappearing around the corner of the door.
...
'I... don't believe it. ...What would Rocky be doing with- with...' Colt scrunches his hand around the condoms. 'Rocky hates physical contact like that, I remember once when I asked him about it he made some whole big stink that I shouldn't even be doing it, and when I said oh just humor me, he told me flat out that the thought of doing that with anyone sickened him beyond words. What was the point of getting pleasure by joining together- that's what he said. But to find this... Maybe I'm overreacting and these are Robbie's- but still... that doesn't give much comfort.' Shoving them back under the mattress, he suddenly wishes that he didn't start this little search.
Rocky comes back after tomorrow, he'll get his answers then. Rocky is a lot of things and completely honest is one of them, Rocky won't lie about this.
'So why do I hope he does?'
...
Rocky travelled downstairs after waiting for twenty minutes in Robbie's bedroom for the male to return from the store; but he made a slight detour to peek at Arc first, seeing that he is still sleeping he felt it would be alright if he wandered a bit. Grabbing his laptop from the kitchen table where he had left it this morning, the ninja sits in the living room on the couch opening his computer and starting up the page for his creative writing. Rocky must have been typing for about ten minutes when he felt a stirring from somewhere upstairs, then foot steps walking slowly through the hall and down the stairs. Fingers stilled, he waits for the person to approach and...
"Arc, you're awake."
The boy rubs his eyes with the back of his hand the other clutching tightly to a blue piece of paper. Rocky had seen him holding it as he slept wondering when he had gotten it since they boy was asleep when they got in; maybe putting him down on the bed woke him up for a minute.
"Where's aunt Edi?"
"She's still out with your uncle and sister." He closes the electronic notebook.
"And cousin Ivan?"
"He stepped out for a minute as well. But its okay, I'm nice I won't hurt you." Patting the seat he says. "Come sit, we can watch cartoons."
The boy wanders over the couch eyeing the spot beside Rocky but strangely he chose to climb into his lap, arms around his neck, snuggling into his chest he starts to cry.
"W- what's wrong?" He holds him tightly caressing the boys back. "Did you have a bad dream?"
"No. I can't read."
Rocky couldn't help but chuckle at that. Its too cute. "That's okay, you'll be able to read someday." Seeing the note he holds out his hand. "Here, can I see it? I'll read it for you."
"Its from my mommy." Arc says handing over the note.
Rocky's hand clamped down around the piece of paper frozen, his blood cold in his body. Maria, this note if from Maria? 'No. I have to stop thinking like that, this note is from Marissa, Maria is my tormentor... Marissa is just... a woman.' Unfolding the note, Rocky has to steady himself from freaking out when he sees at the bottom of it is a picture of him from his sophmore year of high school taped to the paper. "Wh- when did you get this- the note, I mean?"
Sniffling, Arc replies. "Last year for my birthday. Can you read it?"
Nodding mechanically, Rocky clears his throat in a quick and curt sound. "My darling little boy, this is your mamma. How are you my love?"
"I'm fine." Answers Arc as though the woman were in the room right now speaking to him.
Smiling faintly, Rocky goes on. "I'm having so much fun here at the home, the other women here are a bit strange- one girl likes pulling out her own hair, but she likes brushing and styling other peoples. Isn't that funny? We bake sometimes, I always make your favorite cookie the ginger bread men that make you smile. How I wish you could come here and taste them but the nurse says no visitors until mamma feels better. I miss you love."
"I miss you too."
"You don't remember this, but I used to rock you in your chair the one in your bedroom the first year you were born but... well, I'm sorry that I could not stay perminantly there are things I have to take care of first. ...I want you to be so happy. See the man in the picture at the bottom of the page?" His voice cracks and his hand starts to shake. "He's your pa-... pa-... your pappa. He looks just like you doesn't he? I hope you can meet him someday, mamma's working hard to bring you two toge-..." He swallows hard. "To bring you two to-.."
"Cousin Ivan says to sound out words you don't know so good."
Nodding, Rocky says. "to bring you two together. Its only a matter of time for me to leave this place, so I'm gonna be on my best behavior so that I can get out and bring our family together. He'll love you, he will. Just as I love you darling, you two look so much alike. Be good for your aunt and uncle, love your cousin... tell Corin... tell her that she's a pretty girl."
That came off kind of dry. Did Marissa really hate her daughter? Can anyone hate their own child?
"Love you always, Mamma."
Grip tightening on Rocky's shirt, he lifts one hand into Rocky's hair moving it to one side like he used to wear it before the out-growth screwed up his usual cut. The boy asks quietly. "Is it true? Are you the man in the picture?"
Blinking, Rocky looks at his picture: smiling boy wearing the color purple that his girlfriend, Carmen, picked up the day before saying it would compliment his eyes.
"I..." He starts.
"I heard you talking to cousin Ivan on the way home when I was resting," He looks desperately into Rocky's eyes. "why don't you want me?"
"I do want you! I was just... scared that you wouldn't want me. It makes no sense to me that... I don't know, but I'm scared that you won't want me."
"...I don't know you."
"And I don't know you. Arc, would you be okay with me being your father? Would you want me to visit you and write you letters like your mother did. We live so far from each other, aren't you going to be hurt from the distance?"
Wiping his eyes getting a little assistance from Rocky, he says sadly. "I never got to see mommy, just one time and she told me about you right before she left again."
"Do you remember what she said?"
Shaking his head, he answers. "Not all of it. But mommy said that we'd all be a family when you came to see me, and now you're here but where is she?" He starts to cry again this time loud.
Panicked at what to tell him he rocks the boy making soothing 'hushes' and 'ssshhh'. "Arc, your mother is-..."
"I know!" He cut him off. "Uncle Iggy told me when I asked why aunt Edi' was crying. He said that mommy is in the box and that's why aunt Edith is crying," he paused as his verbal tears swallowed his words back to allow their passage out. "They put mommy in the dirt! She would have gotten back up, right?"
Teary as well, Rocky shakes his head. "I'm sorry, but no. Your mom died, but she loves you Arc... you know that, don't you?"
The boy nods.
"Okay. You have to hold onto that to keep her memory happy so she won't be sad in Heaven, she doesn't wanna see her darling boy cry."
"But I only got to see her one time."
'And its all my fault...' He thinks wrapping his arms around the boy tighter he couldn't think of anything else to do or say but cry.
"Will you leave me too? Will you only see me one time?"
Shaking his head, Rocky rest his cheek atop the boy's head. "I would like to spend every day of the year with you but I can't."
"Are you sick like mommy?"
"No, I'm not sick. I live in Los Angeles and you live here... I didn't know about you until just this year, its part of the reason that I came here with your cousin- so that I could meet you but... Arc, I could get an apartment and I don't know, maybe you could come live with me or I could move here after school is over. I... really want to be a part of your life but there are so many things that have to happen first, does that make any sense to you?"
"I don't know."
Rocky laughs softly. "That's ok. Just know that, if you want me I will come to you as fast as I can... But, I've never been a parent before so you'll have to help me through it. Can you do that?"
The boy nods.
"Thank you." Rocky can feel his chest becoming lighter all of a sudden. Can this be real? Just like that. Its such a relief and at the same time such a bunble of nerves for the pit of his soul. His mom and dad can help him out surely and at least Arc isn't a baby anymore so he won't have to worry too much about him being left alone at his parents house if he comes back to L.A. with him and Robbie. Can this work out? Him, Rocky Douglas, with a kid? "Arc?"
"Hmm?"
"I got you a present, do you wanna see it?"
Moving back so he can flash his dad an excited face. "What is it?!"
"Its upstairs, come on let's get it." Holding onto the boy he carries him like a backpack, Arc's skinny little limbs wrapped around his waist and neck, up to Robbie's bedroom.
Rocky will be a great father to Arc, not just because he wants to be but because he owes it to the boy for killing his mother. And... he won't let Marissa's memory die in him, Arc loves her so she has to remain a good person to him.
* * The Next Day * *
Rocky is still glowing from yesterday; Arc was like an adorible little sponge clinging to everything he said about his home and his brothers and parents, grandpa especially, he asked if he was like master Splinter. Rocky laughed at that saying that his grampa is pretty close to master Splinter minus the being a rat part. Arc took well to the baby nunchucks copying his moves the best he could while using them and when Rocky said that he would get better with practice, Arc nodded with enthusiasm saying that he promised to practice everyday if Rocky would leave him some notes; which he planned on making a short video for the boy if Robbie has a camera, if not he can make it at home and send it to Arc later.
Fixing the collar around his tie, Rocky looks over his shoulder to the closed bedroom door wondering where Robbie is since he should have been out of the shower a half hour ago. Its the day of the wedding and the ninja can already hear the clatter of the Ballerini family downstairs, more of them coming in as time ticked by. Just how big is Robbie's family? He only knows that Edith had Marissa, as for the father's side its a mystery. They only have Aunt Sabrina since uncle Cliff died of lung cancer and the family wasn't sure if they counted Sean and Evan's adoptive parents as relatives.
The bed room door finally opens and in walks Robbie, dressed in a dark blue suit hair slicked back so much you'd swear-...
Rocky burst into a laugh as the male walks past him to get a tie from his closet.
A knowing smile spreads across the Canadians face as he asks. "What?" He knew Rocky would get a kick out of his mini-pony so he had to do it, even if his hair would scream at him full force later its worth it to hear the ninja laugh.
"I had no idea..." He can hardly keep his laughter back to talk so he instead just grabs the males hair.
"Oh this, yeah, I've got enough for a small ponytail."
That only made Rocky laugh harder. "Your roots must be screaming, take that out." He pulls the band free. "Robbie, this is a no." He shoots the rubber band across the room like a sling shot would.
Laughing, he hands Rocky his tie. "Alright, no ponytails. Here, help me put this on."
"Okay." He continues snickering while helping the male with his tie, and during that takes the sprinkled chaste kisses the Canadian is planting on him. "You really like kissing me, don't you."
"Can you blame me?" He kisses him again. "You taste good."
"Again with that taste thing," Eyes to the ceiling his tongue peeks in and out of his mouth touching his upper and lower lips as though he's trying to taste himself.
"Wow, you're right! What is that kiwi?"
"Oh shut up," Robbie shoves the male away then looks in the mirror beside his closet door. "Am I sharp?"
"Yeah. What about me?" He spreads his arms giving a little turn.
"Red?"
"Cranberry."
"Oh good, then you look fine."
"Oh shut up," He shakes his head smiling. "I think me and Arc are gonna get along great, you know."
"Are you?"
Nodding, he opens the bedroom door. "We talked yesterday... he kind of overheard us talking on the way home, but Marissa sent him a picture and talked about me so he kind of had an idea of who I am."
"And he's ok with it?"
"I think so. He asked if he could still call me scaredy-Rocky, though." He chuckles. "He's got a bit of immaturity in him, kinda reminds me of Sin."
"You mean, you, Sin is gone because he's a part of you."
"I know."
"Sometimes I wonder about him."
"Wonder how?"
"Well because he was always stripping for me and kissing me, he made me feel like the king of the throne."
Blinking Rocky said in a dull tone. "Keep thinking like that and we won't be using any of that junk you bought the other day." He leave the room.
"Wait, that's not fair." He follows him out.