My brother and I.
We are two entire different people.

My older brother was many things back in the day. But he had always taken care of me. Always had my back in school. He stood up for me when I didn't have the strength to do it myself, more times than one.

He was my older brother.

But that night, that fucking night. When he lost his daughter- my niece-, that night had changed the man I had known my whole life, forever.

He was no longer my brother- no longer the same man that would have my ass for screwing up a job.

No.

I bet, now?
He was willing to actually kill me for a mistake.

But that night…

''Joel, we need to leave.'' Tommy's voice broke.

She was gone. Sarah was…

Reaching out to try to get through to his brother, Tommy rested his hand on the man's shoulder. Joel's body was shaking with sobs as he cradled his daughter close to his chest. You could still hear the screams of survivor's from the town they had tried to escaped from. But the distinctive sound the sick ones made were heard even louder. Tommy had escaped the bar they were in earlier. But knowing that the that barricaded door wouldn't last long he had to come through to Joel.

They had to leave. Even if that meant leaving Sarah's body.

''Joel…'' Tommy tried again, trying to keep his voice steady. He had to stay strong for the both of them if they were sure to survive this night.

Joel shrugged Tommy's hand from his shoulder, leaning forward as he whispered his daughter's name.

''Joel, I'm sorry. But we-'' He looked up at the sound of a woman wailing as she approached them. Screaming, arms flailing as she had taken notice of them.

Her wide opened eyes that had been crying tears of blood.

The foam around her mouth like a rabid dog.

Quickly looking from his brother- noticing that he wasn't reacting to the threat that was approaching them- to the woman, Tommy had no choice but to aim and fire. The bullet hit its target between the eyes. And Tommy watched as he saw the woman's head fall backwards, now nothing but a shell hitting the ground. He had shot a lot of people today. And he had done that to protect his family. But even so, he knew this night would haunt him for the rest of his life.

''Joel.''

He warned as he heard screams coming from down the road- from where the tavern was. And he saw how the sick rushed through, nearly tripping over each other in the process.

Tommy cursed as he realized they had gotten through the barricade.

Now there was only one option left. The one he would never forgive himself for doing.

''We need to leave,'' Tommy added, ''Now!''

Tugging the gun behind his back, he leaned forward and hooked his arms under Joel's arms, pulling him back with force. Tearing him away from the one thing that was good in his life. Joel grunted, struggling from his brother as he tried to break free from his grip.

''Joel, come on. We need to leave her.'' It hit Tommy like a brick wall when he said, ''She's dead, Joel!''

''No… No, Tom- I. I ca-.'' Joel's sobs tormented his voice as he kept struggling. Whispering his daughter's name like a mantra while grieve was overwhelming him.

Clenching his jaws together Tommy kept pulling his brother back. Each step taken them further away from the little girl that was their family.

Her short blonde hair smudged from the dirt she laid in.
Her shirt stained from her blood…

He pulled his brother, making him turn around. Making their back's face the way where they left Sarah. Where she would never find her peace. Where she would be remembered as the niece- the daughter, who was just… gone now.

Not willing to walk at first but making sure Joel kept up with him, Tommy kept watching their backs as they made their way to the highway. And out of the town area crawling with those sick people. Joel was quiet. But Tommy could still see the tears streaming down his face. He had never seen his older brother like this. The loss had made the man next to him age by ten years. Sarah was his everything. Sarah was the sunshine of his life, the only good thing that had come out of his broken marriage.

''I think we're good.'' Tommy started, ''We just need to keep walking until we run into the military. I'm guessing they got safety camps set up already.''

No reply. Not even a look.
Wiping his nose with the back of his hand Tommy sighed. Although it was more of a short shaky breath.

He was trying hard not to fall apart. Because that was the last thing they both needed. But god, it was hard. He kept seeing Sarah lying in the dirt. And knowing that he was the one that separated Joel from her like that- that tore him away from her. It almost made the guilt unbearable.

What if he had found them sooner?

What if he could prevent the soldier from shooting them?

What if…

''Joel…'' He tried again. ''I'm sorry.''

But again, nothing. Joel just kept placing one foot in front of the other. Not seeming to care wherever it was that they were going.
So, Tommy kept silent. Not saying anything as they continued to walk down the road.

But he knew.
He had lost his brother and there was nothing he could do about it.

Esther sat in the living room together with Ellie and Chloe. Worrying herself over the girl with half her swollen face as she stole glances at the kitchen where Joel and Maria were talking. She could see Joel was still fuming from what had happened outside minutes ago. But he was trying his best to keep his calm.

Pushing herself off the kitchen counter Maria sighed, ''I should get back to Tommy. I'm guessing he made sure Cal's calmed down by now.''

Joel scoffed, and before he knew it he said, ''Do you know that Tommy is keeping his hand above the man's head?''

Not waiting for her to answer he added, ''I mean, you know about everyone and everything that is going on around here.'' Narrowing his eyes at Maria he continued, ''Every rumor.'' Ending then inhaling loudly, ''I reckon that also counts for secret's that Tommy is keeping from you.''

He was playing with his brother's marriage. But Joel didn't care. He had been pushed to the edge today. Close enough for him to actually take that leap and damn the consequences. And after that whole display with Cal he had to know if they were at risk.

If Ellie, was at risk.

Maria crossed her arms, ''If you have something to say Joel, I'd rather you just say it already.''

''I actually just did, Maria. But I know you're a smart woman. One can not survive if you can't outsmart the living. So how much do you know about me,'' He nodded towards the living room, ''And Ellie?''

''I'm flattered.'' She smiled without humor.

Crossing his arms Joel raised his chin as he looked at her.

''You have brought an infected girl to my safe haven.'' She started as she stepped towards him, her eyes strong, ''I like Ellie. So I'm willing to risk keeping her here. But you're right. You hear stuff. But let me point out I did not hear them from within these wired fences.''

It didn't go by unnoticed to Joel that she wasn't answering his question.

Taking a step back from him Maria shrugged, ''You know, you are my brother-in-law. And you've always been honest to me ever since you two came back. And I appreciate that. Honesty is hard to come by these days.''

Joel made a face. It was actually Ellie who convinced Joel to tell Maria about her… decease. That she was in infected- but immune. Having told Tommy himself before they left for Salt Lake City, he reckoned Tommy would not just tell that to anyone. Not even Maria.

And it turned out that he was right about his brother. Because the look on Maria's face when Ellie and Joel had told her the truth…
He had faced infected people- worse of all- the living. But he came to realize Maria really did scared him.

But Joel kept the one secret that could change everything for him. No one knew the damage he had done at the Saint Mary's hospital.
How he had brutally killed everyone that had stood in his way.

How he had murdered Marlene.

But if Maria did not hear these rumors from within the camp. Then who was the one asking around for them? He had been so sure that he had taken every piece of evidence from Marlene that had Ellie's name on it.

But for the ones that had survived his anger. The ones that had chased them down the hallway.
What if their mission was finding Ellie no matter the cost?

If that was to be the case, he knew they weren't going to stop.
Because if Ellie- the cure- was really the only one within their reach- close enough to risk it.

He knew it would only be a matter of time until they would find them.

Joel looked at Ellie who was trying to cheer Chloe up in the living room.

They would never leave her alone unless they got to her.
And make him pay for what he had done.

But he was willing to risk everything for that kid.

Everything.

The ending was such a pain. I won't say why, because that would take all the fun right out of it. Buuttt~ To be honest, I'm still not quite sure... Even my own suspense of this story is killing me, haha. But I had never thought I'd actually make the big One O! Chapter ten, yay! :D