So here we are, next chappy! Xxx
It was like she was under house arrest. Beth was forced up into the relic of her room, which to her surprise had been all but unchanged since the last time she was here. She had curled up and sobbed the night before, ignoring everyone and everything. Even Daryl, she hated him for taking her here. She hated him. And she hated Rick too, even if she crushed on the way Lori spoke about him. He had made small talk with her in the car, as she wrestled Daryl as soon as she knew where they were headed. Daryl was hatefully stronger than her, the tightness of his grip making her panic more, but she would have hit him if he wasn't. Maybe she didn't hate Rick, just disliked him for being an accomplice to this. But oh fuck, did she hate Daryl.
At some time in the night she was woken up by the chill of an open window, and groggily kicked her uncomfortable jeans off, pulling the duvet to her chin. The mattress provided the soft familiarity of childhood that Beth resented right now, she just wanted to curl up. But her tears had stopped, leaving her numb. That scared her more, she felt like she could do anything, and it wouldn't matter. She could stop breathing, and who would give a damn? Not her, that's for sure.
The little blue flowers on white could make you believe everything was entirely a nightmare. But it wasn't, it was all true. Every last sordid detail, true. Beth pulled herself up to a sitting position, bring her knees up to her chest. She was still empty, putting her weight on the white wire frame, looking round the room. All the books were neatly piled on the shelves above her desk, the flower box she begged her mother to let her have still healthy and growing wildly and the bottles of floral perfume lined up perfectly against the bottom of the mirror. All memories of the past, looking so whole and honest. But they were just like her. The biology text book had emergency small white pills taped in a cut out, cigarettes and a lighter hidden in a zip-lock bag between the flower box and the sill, and the third decorative bottle held vodka not perfume.
She must have sat there hours, not moving. The sun was high and bright and eventually her mother came up, face with a soft smile and a tray of toast. She settled the tray on Beth's lap, and perched on the edge of the bed like she did when Beth was little and ill. Beth swallowed, she would never be mean to her mother. She couldn't even say no, that's why they had sent her up here first. Damn it all, she bit into a piece of toast, marvelling at the taste of home grown strawberry jam. She felt filled and then guilty that she hadn't managed to be here for helping make it this year.
''Bethy, please talk to me- I don't know what happened, you were so happy-'' It sounded ridiculous, her father obviously hadn't told her about the drug problems, the drinking, the prostitution. She wished she could be where her mother was, this incomprehensible state of understanding that little girl who lay in the fields. Her mother simply stroked her hair, coaxing her to eat and drink.
''I'm sorry that I messed up,'' Beth's voice was small and weak, it sounded pathetic to her own ears. There was so much anger inside, but she had no energy with which to expel it. Annette seemed to perk up at the sound of her voice, softly brushing away a tear.
''oh baby girl, you don't need to be sorry.'' She pulled Beth into a gentle hug, which Beth couldn't help clinging back to. The smell of comfort was perfectly on spot, unlike with carol every muscle could unwind. She let herself sob slightly. Annette was muttering about how there was nothing she wouldn't do, and Beth just enjoyed hearing soft words. Though she would never admit that she needed this, in fact it was long over-due.
Daryl felt awful, he had wrestled the girl to her father's house. His job was doing little to distract him. It had been three days and he had opted to take the Saturday shift as a way of filling is mind. Of course Carol and Sophia had been over that morning for a breakfast of waffles and fruit, but even the kid had picked up asking if Uncle Daryl was sick.
Glenn walked in mid-afternoon, it was his day off, but he came whistling over to Daryl. He perched on the hood of the car Daryl was working on, taping the metal in time with his inner-song. Happiness was pitiful to Daryl. Having given it two days and no answer from his texts to wither Hershel or Beth, Daryl had caved.
''Seems tense there, man. There was this old guy who snapped at me and this super-hot girl.'' Glenn was using his hands to talk, speaking quickly. Obviously feeling a rush from playing spy, freaking noob, thought Daryl. The good thing about working here was the can-do attitude. You asked a favour and it could be done, no questions asked, only a promise of compensation for anything illegal.
''The girl what she look like?'' Daryl's voice was quick and to the point. Glenn snapped back into the task, where his mind had obviously wandered. A girl, hot too, sounded like it could be Beth. If she was walking around that would be good.
''Why you got an eye on her?'' Glenn smirked up at Daryl, giving him a wink. But his face simply dropped at the severity of the look he was given. ''Alright, alright. Uh, small-ish, brown hair like short but swishy...and an arse like a peach.''
''No, not her. Blonde, small-'' Daryl shook his head, trying to visualise Beth and explain her without the words 'beautiful' or 'broken'.
''The like wisp of a thing? Caught her running up the stairs away from peach-arse. She's like what 12? That's not your thing right, cause I was gonna invite you to ours for Chinese new year and my cousins only like 6-'' He grinned, Daryl punched him in the arm.
''But you're Korean,'' Daryl felt more relaxed that he did in days. The weight off his shoulders must have shown as Glenn patted his back before stalking off. So she was alive still, and at home, and getting enough energy to go upstairs. That was enough for him. It was enough for him now.
It had been three long days. Beth had attempted staying in her room for the remainder of her detainment. But her mother had tempted her out for 'just a bath', and then 'just a movie with me', and then 'a family dinner like old times'. She was currently waiting to pull her old hair out. She reverted to teenage-dom, slamming doors and running away to the fields to calm down. But she refused to talk to anyone other than Annette. Not that they hadn't tried. In turn they had all come up, sat on her bed and given their versions of events.
What's up? Hey button-king you gotta stop frowning- oh shit, sorry was that your foot? Don't glare, I said sorry! Oh I brought you up a picture of the ultra sound, but I didn't know if- well y'know- I'm so bad at this- it's not to jackass of me, is it? Shit, Beth I don't know what to say, daddy told me to talk to you and I just know I'm gonna put my foot in it. I love you, Beth. I guess that's the bottom line- that and 'tween us where had Maggie moved her smokes to- it's too stressful to be in this house without it. I feel for ya button-king.
Hey Bethy- still not talking to me? Only your mother then. Thank you for that, you don't see how bad she gets after these rows- not that I blame you mind, your sister starts most of 'em off. We're just scared Beth, scared of where you're going. You haven't told anyone anything that's happened, what a guy I barely know drops you off in tears and leaves again, it's hard for a father to remain calm. You won't look at me either? I don't blame you. I said horrible things, things I didn't mean- all that time ago. I never tho- I just – my father was a man I thought I would never be, but when I drank I became him. I don't want you to be me, you're not this person. I'll leave you to sleep, you can stay however long you want. Visit more. And Bethy- you've done worse than that redneck.
Beth, I- can I talk to you? Beth! Please don't shut me out. …You always were meant to be the baby. Remember I used to take on the bullies for you and take your fruit cup as payment, and we'd play all summer just you and me- I was so jealous of how easy you had it. So blonde and pretty and 'oh Beth, you sound like an angel when you sing.' And everything was falling apart, Shawn was with that veronica chick, mums health went and dad- dad went off the deep end. I needed you, I needed you to be you, Beth. But you weren't you anymore- you weren't there when I spoke to you- I'm guessing that was drugs now, only then it felt you were being a bitch. I didn't want to leave you alone in the world, I tried! Gave you my sofa in Atlanta, but you used it as a crutch when your ankles were fine, I had to tell you to stop. And then I lost contact, and then you weren't you anymore.
She was getting annoyed at the special treatment, she wasn't made for staying this long indoors. Beth felt like a trapped prize bird, too weak to do anything. She was resigned to sneaking cigarettes late at night. But night four after day three, had seen the last smoked, and the agitation kicked in. she began rooting through draws and old purses for any, at this rate she was going to throw herself out the window with that last cigarette butt.
She pulled out an old cardboard box from under her bed, the ancient laptop was sat heavily on top. Lifting it she thought, someone needs a diet. But still curiosity made her turn it on. She sat cross legged on her bed, flicking through an old slide show of her at parties. Both church and slightly rated. The internet came up with a homepage of Facebook, god it had been years. Humouring herself with thoughts of 'let's see who got fat', Beth typed in the old password like it was nothing.
She spent time checking old messages she never received, and looking up people who might have a fat person inside her. Just as the heaviness of her eyes got her to nearly close the site off, a small beep made her look up.
''I'm so sorry, I'm getting help. I never meant to hurt you that way, please meet me for coffee tomorrow. I can change. Zach xxx'
Ooooh! Review?