Chapter 10 – Stress of Coming Out… at Work.
Magnus and Alec meet in their professional worlds.
Magnus sat with his boss, Mr. Wells, and another lawyer from another department, Mr. Greensfield, in a large conference room, he wasn't even sure why he was in this meeting other than his boss popped in his office and told him to follow along. He did get the jest that his co-worker was supposed to be taking the lead on this until his wife went into labor, so Magnus was ushered in to take his place. He didn't even have a moment to look at the brief before his boss was speaking.
"Myes was chairing this panel to create a new training program for our company with a training firm, well his wife went into labor last night a full two weeks early. So, Bane, I am pulling you in as the new chair. I know this meeting is last minute but the company we hired had a recent change in staff, so the rep for this project is new as of this morning. This will be a first meeting of the minds for both of our sides."
Magnus nodded, "Why isn't HR doing this?"
"Most of our HR functions are outsources, so they are just the barebones, our staff doesn't have enough funding or time to run our own training as well, so Myes took on this project as a team lead and not tax HR completely. So, I'm forcing you to be the new chair and work with HR, and Mr. Greensfield on this."
Magnus nodded again, at each member at the table.
"The company had a change in staff?" Mr. Greensfield, Magnus's co-worker, spoke next.
"Our account rep quit yesterday. They called to ask if we wanted to push back the meeting or would we be okay with the last minute change. We agreed to meet with the knowledge that the training and account rep might not know all the answers. Since we have a new chair, our company felt it was okay since both sides were starting with fresh players."
Magnus frowned, this sounded oddly like what Alec did. He had a fleeting thought of him but was unprepared for him to magically appear in front of him. Alec hadn't noticed him but Magnus saw him. Magnus didn't get to see Alec this morning because he had a meeting and had to leave so early that Izzy was watching Max when he stopped over. Izzy made it seem like Alec's meeting was a last minute one, which would explain why Magnus didn't know about it. Alec was also dressed in his best suit and Magnus' favorite tie. Alec had taken it off of him a week ago during a very late night make-out session and never gave it back. It was one of Magnus' signature ties and he was surprised that Alec was wearing it. The sight of his boyfriend in one of his ties did something to his chest and it made him blink. He had a vision of that tie being around Alec's wrist; he had to literally shake his head to get the image to the back of his mind. This was not the time and definitely not the place to image Alec in vanilla bondage. Alec was standing before him, in his place of work, and they were going to work together on a professional level; his insides flipped.
"Mr. Lightwood, thank you for all the last minute changes. Your boss said you were only given this project this morning and I appreciate you working with us on such a short turn around with no guidance. Mr. Myes' wife went into labor and I planned to brief in his replacement which I haven't done yet. This is one of the team leads, Attorney Magnus Bane. He will be working as the new chair for the project."
Alec locked eyes with Magnus; he quickly looked back to the head lawyer. "Thank you, sir." Alec looked at his co-worker then back to Magnus then to the head lawyer, "Mr. Wells, I would like to apologize in advance on behalf of my company for the last minute changes. I have read through most of my co-worker's research but it was impossible to me to make through the full file this morning in time for this meeting, I must apologize for that, it is not very professional. I still have full faith in my team on making our ultimate deadline."
"Wait." Magnus held up his hand, "Mr. Wells, I need to speak to you." When all eyes went on him, he froze. "Have we already hired Mr. Lightwood and his company on contract?"
"Yes, we have. Is that a problem?" Mr. Wells noticed the look that passed between his lawyer and Mr. Lightwood.
Magnus looked at Alec who was now sitting across from him; this was a new area for him. "With this being a paid contract I have an ethical responsibility to announce that I have a personal relationship with Mr. Lightwood."
Mr. Wells nodded, "That is good to know." Mr. Wells looked from Magnus to Alec. His lawyer looked confident and Alec looked shocked. Neither of them expected to meet this way. "Since the contract has been signed and neither of you were a part of the original deal I feel it is okay for you two to work together. Is this personal relationship something that will harm our company?"
"No, sir." Magnus was quick to respond.
Alec watched the exchange with his heart beating out of his chest. He felt Chris next to him tense. They hit a significant failure yesterday when Quinn quit and now Alec's workload hit hard, he found out about taking on this account at five this morning and had to quickly call in Izzy for help. He knew the law firm was Magnus', but he didn't have a moment to call him. He was reading the account file all morning, then had a meeting with his boss, and ended up at the law firm. His one chance to call Magnus ended with his voicemail so he just figured he would ask around for Magnus after his meeting; well that was no longer needed.
"Speak to me after." Mr. Wells stood up.
"Aren't you two dating?" Mr. Greensfield questioned, "Isn't he the background picture on your phone?"
The room seemed to shift instantly into silence. Alec stared ahead at Magnus who was looking at the other lawyer.
"Your personal relationship is a romantic one?" Me. Wells looked between the two; no one needed an answer to that question; the answer was clear. "You know what, I don't care. Whomever you date is up to you. Mr. Greensfield that was an inappropriate comment; and Mr. Lightwood, maybe create training about how he shouldn't have said that even though he's a lawyer and should know better." Wells sent a pointed look to the lawyer in question.
"You're gay?" Chris questioned as if no one had spoken, it was a whisper to Alec but it was loud enough that Magnus could make out the words. "And in a relationship?"
Alec finally ripped his eyes away from Magnus to Chris, he saw his hurt expression and that was enough. "Chris, shut up." He hissed to his employee before turning back to the head lawyer. "Our personal relationship will not interfere with work if you feel like it would then I can request a new training and development account manager."
"Quinn quit. You're the only left." Chris spoke up, which caused Alec to groan, he was never going to shut up and Alec was going to lose his mind.
"No, this project is already behind. Magnus is good at his job and I've heard good things about you from your company. Just get the project going." Mr. Wells pointed to Magnus, "Speak to me after."
Magnus nodded but his eyes never left Alec. None of his co-workers knew he was in a relationship let alone that he was gay. He was in the closet at work but that just ended. Magnus knew Chris' type, Alec's entire company would know before noon that Alec was a closet gay and in a relationship with a lawyer from their newest client. Alec was in for a painful afternoon at work but Magnus couldn't bring himself to feel sad over the hurt he felt of being left out of Alec's professional world.
...
Alec had been home for over an hour before he heard Magnus' car drive up, the rest of the day had been one nightmare after another. The meeting had been tense, Magnus was clearly annoyed with him and then there was Chris who kept shooting him daggers the whole time then spent the entire car ride grilling him. They didn't even make it back to the office before the gossip mill was churning, he had two text messages about him and the stares he got when walking the halls made him want to hide. He was a very private person at work; he came into work for nothing else but to work. Everyone in the company suddenly knew who he was and felt they could speak to him about his personal life. The only person he let get away with that in the best was Gina, one of the secretaries, but she was oddly silent on the issue. He tried to call Magnus in the afternoon but got no response and no text reply. They usually had dinner together every night but that didn't seem likely tonight.
Alec was laying back on his couch; Max wasn't feeling well either and was currently passed out on his chest. He had a slight fever and was wrapped around his kitty stuffed animal with Kitty passed out on the top of the couch. Alec made sure his phone was on silent on the coffee table so he would see it light up without it blasting across the room to wake Max up. Izzy ended up calling in sick to stay home with Max because he was a little too warm to go in, which Alec was grateful for since the client meeting kept him from being able to come home and get him. Alec wrapped an arm around Max's back and closed his eyes for just a moment, before deciding staying on the couch would be a bad idea. He picked up Max and carted him upstairs; he wasn't feeling so well himself. He had just enough thought to close the baby gate before bringing Max into his room with him. This was one of those times where Max was allowed to stay with him.
...
Magnus let himself and Raphael with Gray into Alec's house with a frown; he was pretty annoyed with more than just the work issue. He found out from the daycare that Max never made it in that morning due to a fever. He knew he shouldn't be annoyed with that; it's not like he answered any of Alec's calls and Alec couldn't tell him if he didn't answer. Magnus was being petty because Alec's co-worker looked so shocked. He knew it was his own fault; he never asked if Alec had been out at his company but part of him was pained by that. They were met at the door by Kitty, which thrilled Gray and the cats went off after one another.
"Alec?" Magnus called out while he busied himself with taking Raphael's jacket and shoes off. He already took his own shoes off and he didn't wear a jacket himself to walk the ten additional steps from door to door. "Alec?" Magnus picked Raphael up and carried him into the living room, where he spotted the cats and giggled to get free.
"Magnus?"
Magnus looked up to find Max at the baby gate smiling down at him, "Hey, where's dad?" It was too early for Alec to be sleeping, it was the middle of dinner time. Magnus didn't want to eat alone, so he came over to see what Alec was making the kids, as was their regular routine. Magnus would have been classified a lousy parent if it wasn't for Alec always feeding his kid lately. Work just always got in the way the last few weeks and he had resorted to take out, which Alec refused and started feeding his kid as well.
Max pointed at Alec's open door. "Sleeping."
"What?" Magnus froze for a moment; it was rare for Alec to not wake up with Max even if he did take a nap during the day. "Is he sick?" He picked up Raphael who tried to squirm away from him. Magnus quickly mounted the stairs to set Raphael down with Max who complained when he couldn't reach Gray anymore. "Both of you go play."
"I'm hungry." Max whined which overlapped with Raphael's, "I want Gray."
"Give me five minutes." Magnus held up his hand, trying to see Alec from where he stood up but he couldn't. "I'll order pizza if you just go play." They seemed to make up their minds because they were both gone in a second to Max's room. The kittens, food, and Alec are completely forgotten for the time being. Bribing the kids with food was never a good idea but something told him to worry about Alec. "Alec?" He called out as he entered what would soon be their bedroom.
Alec shifted in his bed but didn't really move, just reacted to the sound of Magnus' voice. He was so exhausted and didn't want to open his eyes.
"Alec?" Magnus climbed on to the bed to get Alec to roll over; he let out a small noise, "What's wrong with you?" He shook Alec's shoulders which caused him to blink a few times finally but now open his eyes fully. Magnus put his hand on Alec's forehead, it was warm but nothing outside of sleeping under two blankets wouldn't cause. "What's wrong?
"What time is it?" Alec shifted to be entirely on his back, ignoring Magnus' question.
"It's almost six."
"What?" Alec sat up, too fast and almost fell back to the bed but Magnus caught him to keep him upright. "Max-"
"-is playing with Raphael." Magnus pushed on him to get Alec flat on the bed. "I'm going to order a pizza. Just lay down. You okay?"
"Max had a slight fever so I laid down with him but then I wasn't feeling well." Alec closed his eyes, "Sorry, I'm sure you want to talk about work."
Magnus leaned back on the bed resting against the headboard, "Yeah," he didn't want to lie, he had some questions that needed answers but he wasn't going to get those if Alec was half dead, so one thing at a time. "Let me order dinner first and then we'll go from there." Pulling out his phone Magnus went to their usual app and listened as Alec began to talk to him.
"I was always scared to be gay at work, I had a lot on my shoulders with Max and being a child myself, I didn't know better. So I just stayed silent. People would ask about Max's mom and I would just say she wasn't in the picture. There was no lie and I never got asked questions beyond that. I never had a reason to say anything. Unti-" Alec stopped, trying to think of what to say next.
"Until?" Magnus caught himself saying; he was hanging on Alec's every word just staring down at him; their eyes were locked on one another. Both the boys and the thought of dinner forgotten for the moment.
"Until you. Then I thought I would bring it up when the time was right but I found that to be difficult, when is the right time to tell your staff in a normal manner that your gay and head over heels in love with your boyfriend. How do you say that and it not sound odd or ill-timed?" Alec felt a tear then, he wasn't big on crying but his throat closed up with the thick air. "I don't know what I'm doing anymore."
"Alexander."
"I saw the look in your eyes earlier; you were hurt. You showed off the picture of us from the cottage and I can't even man up enough tell anyone at my work that I'm gay." Alec closed his eyes off from Magnus; he saw the look in his eyes he didn't want to see.
"You're being a little dramatic." Magnus laid back fully on the bed, propping himself up on his side and elbow to be able to see Alec, "Open, those baby blues for me." He coaxed his eyes open with a smile. "I was hurt, yes, but!" Magnus used his hand to keep Alec looking at him. "I cannot nor would I ever judge you for who you do or do not tell. Who you tell your sexual orientation to is up to you. I've never lived my life in the closet but I also can't fault those who do. Not all work settings allow for everyone to be themselves. If you didn't feel comfortable telling people, then you shouldn't tell people. I was hurt, yes, but not as much as you thin I was. I should apologize for my co-worker outing you, Greensfield usually isn't the simple type."
"Everyone knows now. I didn't even make it back to the office before the messages came in. I cannot believe what people have the nerve to say to me." Alec frowned again, he felt better but he still wanted to cry. He let the single tear roll down his cheek. "As if it matters to me, but the rudeness of these people I've worked with for years is unreal."
"Daddy." Max and Raphael came into the room then, both bound for the bed. Max was the one who spoke but Raphael wasn't far behind. "I'm hungry."
"Pizza's on the way." Magnus reached across Alec's stomach to help both the boys onto the bed. The bed was higher than most and they could both manage it but Magnus felt like helping plus he got an extra kick out of dropping each boy on Alec's chest first.
"Seriously?" Alec groaned both times glaring at his boyfriend.
"Yes, I used this fancy app and already hit send," Magnus brought his phone out and smiled, "See only 20 minutes until its here."
"That's not what I meant. I meant dragging two children across my stomach. They aren't the lightest." Alec twisted to look at Magnus and see the boys. "Magnus, I don't want you to think I hid you on purpose, it's just-" Alec sighed, "I've always gone to work, to work. I've never been really open with my co-workers on my personal life beyond being a single father. I mean I tell Gina things but even she doesn't know everything."
"I know. Like I said I was hurt in the moment, but I was also annoyed that I was being forced on this project without warning. Work is going to be hard for you?" Magnus reached over the boys to take Alec's hand in his.
"I'll be fine. Just something new to deal with." Alec smiled.
The doorbell rang pulling them from their moment.
"Pizza's early. I'll get the food. You get them." Magnus winked at him but didn't make it off the bed.
Alec was stuck with the two monsters who decided that moment to wrestle on his stomach. He wasn't sure which tiny knee did it but one of them kneed him in the groin with as much force as a four-year-old could muster, which was enough to knock the wind out of him. "Ah, Jesus that's enough." Alec pulled Max off of him to the floor followed by Raphael, "Go wait by the stairs and don't touch each other." The pain in his groin was now enough to send him over the edge and call the day a total loss.
Magnus got out of bed, now thinking it was best to take the children with him. "Why don't you catch your breath; I'll take care of the monsters." He kissed Alec on the forehead.
"Magnus, wait." Alec stood up, reaching for his wrist. "You know I love you, right? No relationship I have ever had has compared to the feelings I feel for you."
"I know." Magnus rubbed his arms up and down Alec's arms.
"I'm sorry I hurt your feelings today and I'm sorry I shocked you." Alec sighed, "I never meant for this to come out that way. You have to know I would never hurt you on purpose."
"I know, Alexander. I do understand. I was shocked more than hurt. Work is going to be hard for you for a little while, but I need you to know you can always tell me about anything. If work is hard then talk to me about it. I've gone through this before and I can't help in your office but I can help at home."
Alec smiled at him, it was heartfelt and whole, meeting his eyes. "How did I end up with someone so amazing as you? How can I ever live up to my feelings for you?"
"Just be you and we will be fine. I love you, and I can't wait for my condo to sell so I can move everything over here." Magnus groaned when he heard Max and Raphael getting loud in the hallway, "You know I am so glad our kids are like brothers and get along but sometimes I wish they knew what an indoor voice meant."
Alec smirked, "Give me ten minutes and I'll be down. I want you to sleep here tonight."
"Raphael's bedtime routine is already set up next door. So not tonight." Magnus kissed him, "I'll set up for dinner."
Alec nodded, he couldn't wait for him to move in entirely. They were beginning to dig through all of their things to size down two households into one. He was sick of the disappointment of Magnus not being there with him at night and when he woke up in the morning.