Digital Clue

X: A red herring (part three)

madjack89: Okay, here's Digital Clue's third ending!

Kouji: Please, for the love of god, tell me it's over after this!

madjack89: Tired of explaining everything?

Kouji: No, I'm just sick of this story. Besides, I always end up explaining everything because no one else can figure anything out.

Takuya and JP: Hey!

madjack89: Alright, time for Digital Clue's end: part three!

—

Kouji quickly turned the lights back on and walked back into the hallway. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare anybody," Kouji apologized.

"You're a bit late for that!" Takuya yelled hysterically. "Wow, déjà vu…again."

"Alright, so after the lights went out, Zoe, Marcus, and Yolei were killed," Yoshi said, ticking them off on her fingers. "But who did it?"

"Is it possible to get double déjà vu?" Takuya asked no one in particular.

"And who killed Matt and Sora?" Henry added.

"My head hurts," Takuya mumbled.

"Yes, there were then three more murders," Kouji said, repeating Yoshi's point.

"So who did it?!" everyone exclaimed exasperatedly.

"Let's consider each murder one by one," Kouji said, walking over to JP. "You examined Matt in the study and said he was dead, but you knew he was alive. Even a psychiatrist can tell when a person is dead. You fired a shot at him in the dark and missed, so you lied and said he was dead in order to get the chance to kill him later, unobserved."

JP just glared at Kouji, neither denying nor admitting to his misdeed.

"Wait," Yoshi said. "Mimi was in the study then, right?"

"Wrong," Kouji said, turning to Mimi. "You killed Sora while we were in the billiard room with Zoe, giving JP the perfect opportunity to sneak back over to the study and kill Matt, while you came back through the secret passage in the kitchen to the study and ran back to the kitchen without realizing that Matt's body was missing."

"Are Mimi and JP really that smart?" Yoshi asked skeptically.

"I'm smart!" JP yelled defensively.

"Fine, is Mimi that smart?" Yoshi asked, correcting her statement.

"Hey!" Mimi said.

"Sora was Mimi's cook, which is why she killed her," Kouji said, continuing his explanation. "Later, when I went to throw out the key, the person that took it from my pocket was Takuya. Then he suggested we split up, got away from his partner, took the secret passage from the conservatory to the lounge, and killed Kouichi with the wrench."

"That's ridiculous!" Takuya exclaimed. "Why would I kill Kouichi, even if he was my driver?"

"To shut him up," Kouji replied, glaring at Takuya. "That's the reason everyone did what they did tonight."

"Well…fine, I did," Takuya muttered, defeated.

"After we split up again," Kouji continued, "I went upstairs with Jeri, yes you, Jeri! While I was checking the master bedroom, you snuck down here, switched off the electricity, and strangled Zoe. You were jealous that Takato had an affair with her, and that's why you killed him, too!"

Jeri took a deep breath. "Yes, I did kill Zoe. I hated her so much that…flames, just, flames…on the side of my face…heaving breaths…"

Everyone stared warily at Jeri as she continued her crazy rant. "Okay!" Kouji yelled, interrupting Jeri. "While you did that, Yoshi seized the opportunity and killed Marcus with the lead pipe. True or false?"

"True!" Yoshi replied with exaggerated enthusiasm.

"Well, then Henry must have shot Yolei!" JP exclaimed, staring at Henry.

"I didn't do it!" Henry said.

"Well, there's nobody else left!" Takuya retorted.

"But I didn't!" Henry repeated. "Wait, the gun is missing! Whoever has the gun shot Yolei!"

Suddenly, Kouji pulled out the revolver, smirking as he pointed it at the others. "I shot Yolei."

"You?!" everyone exclaimed incredulously.

"So it was you," Henry said thoughtfully, stepping forward. "I was going to expose you."

"I know," Kouji replied. "So I choose to expose myself."

"Please, there are ladies present!" Takuya said, glancing at the girls. (Sound familiar to any YouTubers out there?)

"You all just believed me when I said Matt was the blackmailer, but why?" Kouji continued. "None of you had met him until tonight."

Henry's eyes got wide as he cried, "You're the blackmailer!"

"That's right," Kouji replied, smiling cockily.

"Wait a second!" JP exclaimed. "If you're the blackmailer, then how was Matt involved in this?"

"You killed my butler," Kouji answered simply.

"Aw, crap," JP muttered.

"You know, I really should be thanking you guys, except maybe Takuya," Kouji said, walking slowly toward the door. "You got rid of all of my informers, so now there's no evidence against me. I'm not particularly happy about Kouichi's death, but take what you can get, I suppose."

"So this had nothing to do with Takuya's work on the new fusion bomb or Takato having been a nuclear physicist?" Jeri asked.

"No," Kouji replied. "Communism is just a red herring."

"Really, does no one recall ever hearing that phrase before?" Takuya asked.

As Kouji reached the doorway, Henry said, "None of you are gonna get away with this. The police will be here any minute."

"Why would the police come?" Kouji asked, smirking. "No one called them."

"You mean…oh my god, of course!" Mimi said, coming to a slow conclusion.

"I suggest we just leave," Kouji continued. "Let's just stack the bodies in the cellar, leave quietly one at a time, and forget this ever happened."

"And you'll just go on blackmailing us?" Henry asked, glaring at Kouji.

"Well, you've given me plenty of new material to work with tonight," Kouji retorted. "Why shouldn't I?"

"I'll tell you why!" Henry yelled, suddenly taking out a gun and shooting Kouji. Mimi and Yoshi screamed at the same time Kouji did.

"Ow," Kouji said, clutching his stomach and dropping his gun. He slowly sank to the ground, eyes wide with shock. "Good shot, Henry," he said through clenched teeth, curling up in a ball.

"Are you a cop?" Jeri asked, staring warily at Henry.

"No, I'm a plant," Henry replied, putting his gun away.

"I thought men like you were usually called a fruit," Yoshi commented, chuckling.

"Ha ha," Henry laughed sarcastically, taking out a badge. "I'm a detective working alongside Ken. The phone call from Ken was for me."

Henry walked past Kouji to the door and said as he opened it, "I told you I didn't do it!"

As the door opened, Tai, Joe, Kari, TK, and Davis stormed into the house, all holding guns. Ken walked in after them.

Mimi glanced at TK and said, "You're not really a convert, are you?"

"Nope!" he said with a smile. "I was just messing with you."

"Really, I think I've heard that before," Davis said, turning to Kari.

"Whatever, Davis," she muttered, rolling her eyes.

"Alright," Ken said, turning to Henry, "who did it?"

The others began pointing at each other, accusing each other of the murders. "They all did it!" Henry exclaimed, shutting them up. Turning to Ken, he added, "But if you want to know who shot Kouji, that was me, in the hall, with the revolver."

"For the love of god, I'm still alive, you assholes!" Kouji cried.

"Well, that's that," Henry said, ignoring Kouji. "Now I'm gonna go home and sleep with my wife."

JP gasped. "Oh my god, he's not really gay!"

"Shut up, JP!" everyone exclaimed at once.

"Please, someone call a freaking ambulance!" Kouji cried exasperatedly.

—

Kouji: …Thanks, Madjack.

Takuya: Alright, there is no way this is not the last ending!

madjack89: It also could have happened like that!

Everyone: ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!