A/N: Sorry about the lack of a ruler between Tawny and Ruby's conversation and Ren picking Ruby up, the icon wasn't working. I don't know why I'm having such difficulty with those damn things…

Chapter Ten

I'm wasting time, Ren thought. I'm stalling. I shouldn't be this nervous.

She was sitting behind a desk in the main office at school stapling packets together for something or other. This thing she was doing with Tawny was so frustrating… friends? Did she seriously think she could just be friends with Tawny? There was no way. You can't force yourself to see someone a certain way, you saw them as you saw them. There was no control. When she looked at Tawny, the word friend never came to mind. There were no words really, at least not ones clean enough that she'd willingly call them to memory. She smiled to herself. Contact. She looked at Tawny and she thought: I want contact. I don't want to be standing a few feet away. I want contact. She frowned. Mindless lust, that's what this is. No, there's something else. Right? Maybe. But I have to know for sure, she told herself. Don't I?

"Hey, Ren."

She was surprised to look up and find Tawny standing over her.

"Hey," she replied.

"I had photo, the teacher let's you out early if you're on top of things so, I thought I'd stop by," Tawny said, sitting down across the desk from Ren. "I was wondering if you wanted to have lunch with me?"

"Lunch?"

"Yes, the meal between breakfast and dinner, next period, you've heard of it I'm sure," Tawny cocked her head to the side. "I'm just going to the deli across the street. You and Ruby eat together all the time. It's a good 'friends' activity."

"Yeah, sure," Ren agreed, fumbling with her papers, several of them falling to the floor.

Tawny sighed. "I don't think this 'friends' thing is serving any purpose, Ren. But since it's what you want to do, then I'll do it. However, it's not easy to be friends with someone who avoids you half the time, and when you're actually with them, they're so uncomfortable it makes you feel like you're an enemy or something."

"Tawny, I…" Ren stammered, trying to compose herself but finding it near impossible to reload the stapler.

"I'm asking you to have lunch and you're freaking out," Tawny cut her off. "You're spilling papers everywhere, you can't work the stapler."

"Shh," Ren out her finger to her lips, glancing around to make sure no one was listening in.

Tawny rolled her eyes. "Forget it."

She got up and made to leave. She hadn't been in a good mood all day, a couple days actually—ever since she came home and found the note on her door. She didn't call Louis back, but she checked the voicemail on her cell phone: he'd called seventeen times. Most of them were short and simple pleas for her to call him, the last one was a complete monologue.

Tawny, listen, I love you. I know you love me. Why are… who else is it? Who could you be willing to throw us away for? I know I've made some mistakes, and I know I've humiliated you from time to time, but you know I don't mean it. I'm trying really hard this time. I thought… you know, maybe this could be it. That's what I thought. Every other girl I've dated… none of them compare to you. I always come back to you. I guess if you really need more time to reach that conclusion for yourself, well, then… I guess I should give it to you. Just tell me who it is that we're postponing the inevitable for…I can't believe it hasn't cut me off yet. Well, anyway, I love you. Call me.

Like that wasn't the guilt trip of the century? And if it wasn't enough, he'd vandalized her locker with a shot-through heart with their initials in it. Had Ren seen that? It would probably cause more setbacks. But no matter how guilty Louis made her feel, he didn't make her feel for him what he still felt for her. And to top it off Ren was making everything as difficult as possible.

"I said I'd go," Ren said, surprised that Tawny had revoked the offer.

"Are you going to be acting like this?" Tawny asked, her voice a little harsh.

"What do you--"

"Never mind, Ren," she waved her hand. "I'll just go with Tom or something."

"Tawny," Ren stood up, half reaching out as if to stop Tawny from leaving. "I said I'd come."

Tawny crossed her arms. "How long are we going to do this for?"

"We had a good time the other night, I thought," Ren said. "Didn't we?"

"Yeah," Tawny replied. "But we could've had a better time."

Ren sighed. "Well, I want to do this for a little longer. I want to get to know you first—why is that such an outrageous concept?"

"Because you wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't for Louis!" Tawny raised her voice more than she intended and it just so happened that Louis was just leaving the principal's office.

"Tawny?" he called over, surprised to see her there.

Ren sat down quickly.

"Hey," he said as he greeted them.

"Hey," the both mumbled unenthusiastically in unison.

Louis paid no heed to their obvious mood. "What are you doing in here?"

Tawny hesitated a moment, glancing at Ren. "I was asking Ren if she wanted to eat lunch with me."

"Since when do you guys hang out?" he laughed.

"We have some things to talk about," Tawny stated flatly.

Ren pretended to focus on the computer screen in front of her, though all it displayed was a screen saver with the time drifting around the screen.

"Like what?" he pried.

"Nothing that would interest you," Tawny said.

"Ok, then I have a question for you: did, uh, did you get my message?" his voice was hushed.

"Yes, I did," she mumbled, not at all wanting to talk about that in front of Ren.

Louis waited for more of a response.

After a few moments of silence Tawny turned to Ren. "Well, since today isn't good for you, we'll do it some other time. See ya."

She grabbed Louis' arm and lead him from the office. "I thought I made myself clear at the party, Louis."

"No, I know," he said. "I get it that you need time. I mean, I'm not liking the thought of you with other guys but I'll deal. Take your time. I just want to know who."

"Who is none of you business. And I don't need time. I took time to think about this before I broke up with you, Louis. I didn't do it on a whim. I don't…"

"Don't what?"

"I don't want you. Not like that," she paused before adding: "I really don't think I'm ever going to want you like that again. We're finished. It's over. Can I make it any clearer?"

He looked wounded, but he sucked it up nonetheless. "I understand. I'll be waiting for you when you come back."

"Louis…"

"I heard you loud and clear, Tawny. But you are just confused. We're meant to be. Deep down you know it too. Later," he smiled and walked off, leaving her there frustrated and angry in the hallway.

She sighed heavily, leaning against the wall.

The lunch bell rang and she hurried out of the building and across the street. She almost always managed to be the first one there, and so she never had to wait in line. She took a seat in a corner booth by the window. On warmer days she ate outside in front of the school, but today was cloudy and cold.

"Is this seat taken?" someone asked.

She looked up to find Ren standing there with a sandwich of her own.

"Sure," she said.

Ren sat down across from her, and, after a few moments of silence, spoke. "I'm sorry that I'm making this difficult."

"I'm sorry for getting mad," Tawny said. "I've just been having a bad day and I was kind of taking it out on you. Not that I'm not frustrated with you."

Ren smiled, and opted for a subject change. "So, the other night, you said you were adopted?"

"I did."

"Yes, you're adopted and you like it when girls where tight shirts that nearly bust open—I tried a few of my tightest shirts on by the way, after you told me that, but I'm, uh, not big enough to… have that effect. Sorry."

Tawny laughed.

Ren grinned. Maybe I can do this, she thought. When Tawny laughed it made that pain-like feeling inside swell again. Hell, when Tawny was snapping at her back in the office, the feeling was there. She hadn't really been upset with Tawny at all. Just enamored with her, even in anger. Everything she did was beautiful and right and perfect. Right at that moment Tawny was simply taking a bite out of her turkey sandwich; she was holding her food with both hands, staring down at it as she took the bite, then her blue eyes flashed upward to Ren as she chewed... For God's sake, she's just eating, Ren thought to herself. But it's not what, it's not where, it's not how, it's not why, it's who. Who you're with. And it's Tawny. So it is beautiful. Even if it is just eating.

Louis and Twitty were sitting across the street. "If she's hanging out with Ren now I could probably convince Ren to put in a good word for me."

"Louis, man," Twitty shrugged. "Tawny really doesn't seem…"

"Oh, so she's convinced you? Well, that's fine 'cause I know the truth and it's only important that I know it anyway, since it's the truth…" Louis grumbled, upset with his friend for giving up.

"Dude, you're not making any sense," Twitty said.

"Thanks for the support, buddy," Louis said sarcastically as he got to his feet and retreated toward the school.

"Dude," Twitty sighed and looked back across the street.

Ren and Tawny were just talking, laughing, they seemed to have be having a good time. All of a sudden Ren leaned across the table and kissed Tawny, a quick, brief kiss on the lips. Tawny seemed pleasantly surprised.

Spitting out his soda in disbelief, Twitty glanced backward to see if Louis was still there. He wasn't. He refocused his attention on Ren and Tawny. "Oh my God."