Title: Still here

Rating: PG13

Genre: Romance/Drama

Author: Idile-chan

Chapter9: Without her

It was 11 a.m. when Tsukasa lazily opened his eyes and looked at the alarm clock. He was thankful that his servants allowed him one day of full sleep with his beloved. No… not just his beloved- his fiancée. Oh and how beautifully she slept next to him, where she belonged. He wanted to move his hand and gently brush away the dark locks that blocked his perfect view of her face, but decided not to as to not wake her. He knew that soon enough he would have to get up and go to the office but he wanted to enjoy this moment nonetheless.

He tried to resist but finally gave into temptation and touched her face. She was soft to the touch like always, but… something was just not quite right. As he brushed the locks off of her face, he noticed something different about her features. It disturbed him for a few seconds, but he pushed the thought away and pulled his hand away. At the same moment she opened her eyes and smiled at him.

-Hey there,- Tsukasa smiled at his beloved.- nice to see you finally wake up.- in a second he was already touching her lips with his, but he soon pulled away puzzled. It wasn't the same taste. It wasn't her taste. He tried to focus for a while.

Noticing that Tsukasa had already felt the difference, she smiled at him and pushed him away.

-Don't kiss me just yet, you idiot, I have morning breath. – And then she threw a pillow at him before going to the shower. – Oh and go to your room to shower! Don't you get any ideas!!

-As if someone would want to look at you! - He teased her and seemed calmer. His mind must have been playing tricks on him. Maybe it was that dream last night? He couldn't remember it, but it could have stirred him up enough to make him so confused. "Just ignore it and it will go away."-he told himself and went to his room to shower.

They met again at the breakfast table. She hoped her appearance was perfect- she had been preparing for quite some time and she had liked this guy to bits ever since they first met when they were younger, much younger than this. She hoped, oh so hoped he couldn't see her shivering nervously as she watched him eat his food. But he noticed. He was sharp after all.

-Is something wrong? Should I tell the cook to make you something else? Cause if you hate it, there's no reason for you to try to be polite after all…"- he gently asked her.

-It's fine. It's just this new experience of being… engaged. - She smiled at him and stuck her tongue out- besides, I am gonna eat, whatever is made is made! It would be a total waste of food if it was thrown away just to cook something else. You aren't going to be rich forever, you know! What if something happened and we ended up on the street, hm? I'd never be able to feed you! You are so spoiled! - She laughed at him and started to eat. 'relax.'- she told herself. 'You can do this'.

-That will never happen, for I am the great Domyouji Tsukasa, your future husband! Don't forget that. We've been through so much and I've never failed to protect you… and I'm not going to. - He smiled warmly and made a weird expression as if he was thinking. - Oh, right! I totally forgot. I made a deal with the F4 to meet today after my proposal to either congratulate me or be ready to tie you up and beg you to agree if you decided to refuse after all.

-Agh…- was all she could say. – Well ok.

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Tsukasa was getting impatient, waiting for her in the car.

"Where is that woman?"- he mussed and fidgeted and as he was almost about to lose hope, she showed up in a most gorgeous brown dress.

"Thanks for waiting for me, a-na-ta."

"It's okay."- he blushed and looked her up and down.

She noticed his gesture, sat down next to him and as they began to move, kissed him passionately on the lips. He tried to move, but after some time, he completely blocked his mind and continued kissing her. It didn't take long before it came back kicking him hard. Kissing wasn't as good as it used to be. He didn't want more… that was odd for a man his age.

He pulled away but kept her in his arms. 'This has to stop. Why am I being like this? I love her.'- he slapped himself on the forehead and got a weird look from the brown haired girl.

"Oh, I'm just constipating."- he smiled nervously.

"Did you really mean what you just said, or do you mean 'contemplating'?"- she starred at him.

"Right, that's what I said."- he exhaled.- "Oh we're here!"

They pulled up to a big fancy restaurant and before she could say anything, he swore that it wasn't his idea. As they entered a private room, they were met by warm applause of his fellow friends from the F4. The pair received hugs from Soujiro, Akira and finally from Rui.

The evening seemed the same as usual. Everyone was having fun and just joking around. Akira and Soujiro had a few girls with them, but they seemed nice enough and no one minded anything. Except for one person who sat further away from everyone and was watching Tsukushi intently. It was not seen by others though. All they saw was Rui sitting quietly by himself. So, as usual, they pushed Tsukushi to go talk to him. She was the only one that was able to get this close to him. He had always been living in his own world.

-Come on, Makino. Tear yourself away from Tsukasa and go talk to that guy. Something must have happened. - Akira nudged her, and so did Soujiro. Tsukasa didn't look too happy, but he had to agree that they were right.

-It's this big lug, that can't keep his hands away from me. But I wouldn't have it any other way! - She pinched her fiancée on the side and walked off to the other side of the room.

He glared at her every move as she was getting closer to him and finally turned away, when she sat down on the couch next to him. He ignored her sheer presence as if she didn't even exist.

-Hanazawa Rui… did something happen? You seem so distant…- she quietly asked him, trying not to intrude too much.

-I don't know… what you're trying to pull, but I am not fooled by it at all. - He calmly said.

-What do you mean…? - she stuttered being utterly confused.

-You think I don't know Makino? Your way of speaking, walking, smilling, your way of hugging or even your smell… are not Makino.- again he didn't look at her, as if she were air.

-Hanazawa… how can you say that? Sure I have changed... but… living with Tsukasa… being proposed to… everything was such a rush… I… I… I don't know… maybe it has changed me a li..-she stuttered again, but was cut off by his cold eyes piercing her.

-Don't you dare speak as if you were her.

She moved closer, with tears forming in her eyes, touched his hand and spoke:

-Please...please don't be mad at me…I didn't do anything…is it Shizuka again? Has she hurt you?

He pulled away in utter disgust and shouted at her:

-Don't you dare talk to me as if you know me!

That outburst wasn't left unnoticed and Rui pushed himself through the doors and out of the restaurant.

-Wow. Now that's something you don't see every day! What did you say, Makino? Talk to him about how Tsukasa is in bed and offer him tips? –Soujiro started laughing uncontrollably.

Tsukushi glared at him.

-I didn't say anything! He started pushing me away and yelling, I don't know what happened, but it must have been something serious. I'm going to chase after him!

-Don't.-was Akira's simple response.-He probably just needs some time alone to clear his head, so just leave him alone. Everyone gets like that sometimes.

Tsukushi simply nodded and went back to her purse, then wrote a quick mail with her phone and was already warming up to Tsukasa, like before.

Meanwhile, Rui stormed off through the city. He was so angry, that he didn't even want to ride in the car, he just wanted to run and scream somewhere. To let out his anger and confusion. 'Why did that girl look and act like Makino, if she wasn't Makino?? How can that be? That must have been Makino, but then again...it wasn't'

He walked around for what seemed like hours and without noticing ended up near the place that Tsukushi used to live in with her parents, when they were still back in high school. It was a small park that led to the apartment building if you were to cross it. He chuckled to himself for ending up here. 'How nostalgic'- he sighed before catching a glimpse of something that immediately caught his eye and left him starring for a second, before madly running off in that direction.

He stood when he grabbed the hand of someone. That someone with a short build and dark long hair that he knew all too well.

-It's you. - He simply stated, before grabbing her and pulling her into a hug. He held her tightly, almost too tightly for her to get enough air.

-What's the matter, Hanazawa Rui… we just saw each other a few hours ago at the restaurant. Are you feeling better now? - She meekly smiled at him and hoped to be freed, but he only loosened his grip enough for her to breathe, but not to escape.

-If you think I'm buying it, you're wrong. It didn't take me five minutes to see that it wasn't you. So tell me now please, what's up? What happened?-he pushed her to tell him.

-So… I've been figured out, huh?-she smiled as he let her go. It wasn't her usual smile and it troubled him.-You saw it in a minute and Tsukasa still hasn't. Even though it's already been a day… I guess I have to be patient.

-What are you talking about? - he held her by the shoulders to look her in the eyes.

She lowered her eyes to look at the ground and told him everything. He gently let her go and sat down on a nearby bench. Then he pulled her sleeve to join him. He didn't speak immediately, letting the uncomfortable silence fall between them.

-It's okay. I won't let anyone know I know. I'll keep quiet about this. But let me tell you two things: one- he pointed his finger to her nose.-I am going to keep coming to you, so you don't die of loneliness and boredom. And two- I am going to keep track of what's happening and keep you informed, just in case they decide not to let you in on some things.

-Thank you. - she felt better after talking to someone about it.- I feel so sorry for agreeing, but I want us to be okay. I know we can pull through, because I believe in Domyouji. We can do this.-she clutched her hand into a fist with a determined look on her face.

-Don't worry. - Rui softly smiled and stood up so he was facing her sitting form. –You two have been through a whole lot more. I know you will hold on.-then without even realizing it, he slowly leaned down and almost kissed her on her forehead, before noticing what he was doing and stopping just in time. –I'm sorry… I was so glad to see you… The real you.

-Mhm. - she nodded before going towards her old apartment. –Visit or call me anytime. Here (she wrote down her number and full address) - this is the phone I'm currently using and that's the address in case you forgot. Bye now, I'm really glad I talked to you Hanazawa Rui.

He waved her off just as coolly as he always did, but something in his heart was stirred up. It was beating unreasonably fast. And he felt the biggest urge to go running back to her…

(yay! Finally posted this chapter. This is kind of a turning point of some sort and you shall see later on of what sort ;) anyhow, I had this written long time ago, but was still contemplating on whether I should finish the chapter right there or at a different place. However I still decided that this was a nice place to keep you guys thinking and wondering a bit.. I hope!! ; (hides) I am really sorry for not being able to write much for those that still want to read this story ( if I have any fans left that are patient, I love you guys! I love your reviews!). I promise to at least put up 3 chapters this summer, cause I will probably be staying home instead of having to run to the hospital and read at least 50 pages a day . This summer will be free! Yay! So if anyone out there is still reading and interested in what's going to happen, hang in there! Hang in there until summer! I love you guys!!! And again, R&R, it is much appreciated. Oh and any comments about Rui acting not like himself? Well it was a similar situation when Tsukasa had amnesia and someone tried taking Tsukushi's place. He was the one to be annoyed and angry first:)))