CHAPTER VIII

Tezuka kissed the space between Saya's breasts while his hands grabbed her body possessively. It took a painful long time for him to be able to go back to Kyoto after the wedding arrangements were finally done. As soon as he arrived to the capital, he went to Akai Hana to meet her. He was so quiet. Even his moans seemed to be restrained. His dark eyes avoided hers while his trusts were powerful and deep. Saya was bothered by his behavior and touched his face, making him finally look at her, surprised:

- What happened, Tezuka-dono? – she asked, her voice shy.

"Don't look at me. Don't talk to me that way." – he told himself, before burying his face on her neck and penetrating her even more. Her back arched at that sensation and she called his name.

Saya knew something was wrong. He was disturbed. As soon as they entered the room, he grabbed her arm and his hands wondered her body, pressing her breasts and thighs, pushing her kimono roughly and making her lay down. Her legs were wrapped on his hips, her arms around his shoulders. She could feel all the tension and stress on his fit and lean body.

After so much time, the relationship had changed and they became very close. Saya and Kunimitsu found comfort in each other. Even being so reserved, he was able to talk to her about many subjects and sometimes he would pay for her just to drink on her chambers, enjoying her company. Syuusuke made jokes about his behavior, telling his cousin to be careful and not get attached to the tayuu who took his first time, but as the time went by, his cousin was aware that was a wasted advise.

Kunimitsu's eyes focused on the ceiling, trying to breath normally again. Putting a hand on his eyes, he pushed the sweaty bangs away, before Saya started to put her clothes on again, making him look at her. It took a while for him to find his voice again on his dry troath:

- Saya-san?

She stood up and looked at him with sad eyes:

- If I'm not pleasing you anymore just tell me.

- What are you saying? - he sat down.

- Why didn't you even look at me today? – her purple eyes were extremely hurt. - What did I do to upset you that way? I know I'm only a service you're paying for, but… you can change tayuus as you please. Do not force yourself to be with me. I notice the way you look at my scar, I know it is ugly and…

- There is nothing wrong with you. I'm sorry.

- Tezuka-dono… what's happening? – Saya kneeled in front of him, touching his face and making him look at her. He seemed extremely hopeless.

- I am going to get married.

- Married? – without noticing, she distance herself, collecting her hands close to her chest.

- A week from now.

- That's such good news! – she said, trying to cheer him up. - I'm sure Tezuka-dono will be a good husband. And a wonderful father someday too!

Suddenly his hands touched one of the sleeves of her kimono and pulled her close, to a long and intimate kiss. That was such a tabu gesture between tayuus and her clients. Saya tried to get away but he only pressed his body on hers until he was satisfied as feeling her not protesting anymore. When he finally stopped the kiss he was able to listen the loud heartbeats of her heart.

- Although I will become someone's husband…. Saya-san, I…

- Don't! – she said, putting a hand on his mouth, stopping his words. – Tezuka-dono, you don't know what you're saying! Please!

- It is the truth. - he whispered on her palm.

- Im a tayuu. Im impure. I'm not worthy of Tezuka-dono's affection. Please... forget about this nonsense.

- In my eyes there's nothing wrong with you. – he kissed the scar on her neck. – I do not wish to distance myself. Only if its something Saya-san wishes as well.

- Tezuka-dono… - Saya was unable to resist anymore, as his dark eyes were piercing her soul. Tezuka got close again, touching her face one more time. He kissed her deeply, her delicate figure inside his arms, not wanting to let go.

Maybe it was not even real love. It didn't matter now. They were a pair of lonely people who found each other, reaching a place of no turning back. The warmth of his body and the way he looked at her were all the reality she needed. Soon her naked form was on his again. The young man wanted to explore and memorize all her curves, her scent and even the goosebumps on that smooth skin. "Kunimitsu, Kunimitsu" echoed like a chant on Saya's lips on the night Tezuka wished it could last forever.

######

The mansion was full of guests. The union of such important families brought together influential and wealthy people from all over the country, drinking and celebrating Kunimitsu's marriage.

Sitting on their family's table, the young groom was drinking sake with his cousin, while watching his father on the other edge, contently talking with Yamashita-san and other business partners.

- Congratulations on the wedding, Kunimitsu! – Fuji said, drinking another cup.

- Thank you. – he answered with a dry tone.

- You know… I really thought you would run away with Saya-san. She seemed so heartbroken when we left Akai Hana.

- Nothing needs to change. As soon as Yuri-san gets pregnant, I will be able to do as I please again.

- I'm really lucky. – Syuusuke put his elbows on the table, his face starting to get red with the alcohol. - Since I am a bastard, I have much more freedom than you.

- Do not call yourself a bastard. Ojii-sama hated this word. – he picked a small dish with fish and ate it quietly.

- I'm okay with it. I don't have any important name to carry on. And I will never be forced to marry someone just to fulfill a duty. – he observed his cousin's brand new wife and how she was so collected and polite during all the ceremony. Yuri was with her mother, sisters and other female relatives, drinking tea and talking almost in whispers, on the other side of the main room. – She is the perfect wife. Ojii-sama made a really good choice. Be gentle with her tonight, Kunimitsu. She must be nervous. And try to smile too.

- I will try.

#####

The young man entered the room slowly. Some lanterns were light on by the porch, swinging with the wind. Yuri was already sat on the futon they would share soon.

- It's a honor to be your wife, Tezuka-san. Please, do as you wish. - the grey eyes looked at him with no hesitation. Her long blond hair spread on the white sheets.

Tezuka touched her chin, his eyes on her. Already knowing what do to and what to feel, he only wished to end that task quickly. He had drunk a little to much and he was tired after such a long day.

Her clothes were discarded with no warning. Yuri swallow hard as his large hands touched her naked skin. Even between shadows her body was beautiful and flawless. Perfect for bearing children, Tezuka thought as kissing her and pushing her down. Yuri obeyed her husband, following her mother's orders. "Just be silent and still, he will know what to do. It will hurt but everything will be over soon." Her mother said while she bathed with scented oils, and servants brushed her hair, preparing her to the wedding night.

Tezuka was totally aware of how easy that was. He just had to impose his desire and strength on that young woman that now belonged to him. As she laid naked and quiet under him, he noticed a slight flush on her cheeks. Kunimitsu didn't even undress himself. He pushed her legs apart and entered her with a deep and long stroke. Yuri bit her lips and closed her firsts tight. Saya told him that a girl's first time was painful and they would bleed as a proof of their maidenhood. He didn't want to prolong that more than necessary for her. After a few minutes he suppressed a moan on his throat and spilled himself inside her. The young bride could feel him shakening even with the layers of clothes.

- I hope you sleep well. – he said, pulling away and fixing his yukata. – We will meet on breakfast time.

- Where are you going? – covering her naked form with one of the sheets, she asked shyly.

- I will go to my old room, so you can be more comfortable. It was a tiresome day. – standing up, he didn't even look at her a second time before leaving the place and his new wife all alone.

####

Two weeks later little had change between the young couple. They were now sharing the same chambers, but as soon as he finished himself on her, Kunimitsu would turn around and sleep. They shared some words on meal times, he would ask if she needed something to herself but nothing beyond that. Syuusuke felt the strange air and started to talk to Yuri so she wouldn't feel so alone on that new house and away from her family.

As wanting to impregnate her quickly and fulfill his obligations, Tezuka had sex every night since they got married. She always remained silent and quiet. When she suddenly started to cry, while her husband was taking off her clothes, he was, with no doubts, extremely surprised:

- Yuri-san… what happened?

- Forgive me. I know I belong to you now and you can do as you please, but some days ago we were only strangers to each other - her face was down, trying to hide those shameful childish tears since her heart couldn't be silence anymore. – We are now husband and wife. How can we share a bed every night and not even exchange words? Why do you look at me with such empty eyes?

Her words spoken with such sorrowful tone finally reached him. It was not her fault. The young man remembered his mother's words and felt horrible as realizing what he had done. His wife's grey eyes looked at him with surprise, as feeling the gentle touch of his hands as he respectfully put the layers of her clothes back.

- You did nothing wrong. I apologize, Yuri-san. I have no right of imposing myself on you. This marriage is a golden cage we were imprisoned together. You own me a child and I own my family an heir, but I will respect your feelings towards this situation. If you are still not expecting, I will not touch you again until you give me permission to do so.

Kunimitsu stood up and started to distance himself one more time:

- Are you angry with me, Tezuka-san?

- Not at all. I will just bring another futon to sleep separately. Do not worry, no one will know.

As hearing the doors closing and seeing herself alone on that room again, she put her arms around her body, the tears falling freely. She wanted to be a good wife. One that could harbor love and care from her husband as time would pass. Even if it was a forced marriage, she wanted to love and love him back, but Tezuka didn't even give her a change to try. He shut her down since the very beginning. She was a duty wife and would bear a child created without any affection. As he would feel guilty and listen to her cries leaning on the other side of the wall, the young woman let her heart hurt with the certainty her romantic dreams were now completely shattered.