In the Lonely Hour
First-timer. Nothing belongs to me except an old Ford and a cat named Larry. All feedback appreciated. Thanks!
*Set in the Enchanted Forest during the missing year. Rated M. Depicts rape and the emotional trauma associated.
Chapter Ten: Make It to Me
Her heavy heart lightened for a moment when she saw him sound to sleep in her bed. It was late; the trek back from the Dark Forest had been both long and wordless. She pulled the clothes from her body, replacing them with much lighter attire and wishing that she could do the same with what she knew was coming in just a few hours.
As she sat on the side of the bed, she felt his hand graze her back.
"I think you've spoiled me. I cannot sleep very well without you here."
He smiled sleepily, but when she didn't turn to look at him, he knew something had gone awry.
"Regina," he sat up and pulled himself nearer to her. "Did you find what you were looking for?"
"Yes."
Robin felt like he was dragging the words from her.
"Is everyone alright? Did something happen?" He was trying not to sound frantic.
"We have to cast the Dark Curse, again." She sounded so tired.
He was overwhelmed with this new plan. "But, you can't. The thing you love most is Henry." Robin knew it wasn't possible.
"I'm not casting it." Regina had yet to turn to him, her eyes remained fixed on a far corner of the room.
"Who then?"
"Snow. She is going to crush Charming's heart." She could barely believe the words were coming out of her mouth.
"But, he will die."
Regina finally met Robin's eyes, passing along her understanding of the consequences.
"There has to be another way," he told her.
"There's not. I would have found it by now. I would have gone back to Henry if I could." Robin didn't bother expounding on the thought, knowing she was right.
They sat for a moment, sharing in the weight of the knowledge.
He moved closer to her, resting his lips on the back of her neck and hands falling to the sides of her hips. Her grabbing his hand was the most significant response she lent to him since coming in the room.
"There was a time in my life that I would have reveled in his death, but now… I can't help thinking that this is not a price that Henry would want us to pay, even if it meant we would be in the same realm again with he and Emma."
"Charming would not leave his family lightly. He knows the decision he is making, Regina."
"Henry doesn't even know who I am," her voice skipped, shifting the conversation to the rest of the thoughts swirling in her mind.
He pulled her back into him, fighting what he knew was a losing battle to comfort her. Regina closed her eyes, trying to block out the conflict that she felt. She felt guilty in the moment for being so consumed with her own desire that she blocked out the reality of Snow and Charming's sacrifice. This curse would bring her a chance of seeing her son again, but the high price of the sacrifice would cause him a great deal of pain if he were ever to remember. She couldn't win.
"You'll find them, my love. He will remember you. Just have faith."
She gave a spiteful laugh at his suggestion.
"Robin, there is something else that you need to know. This magic can be unpredictable. We cannot be sure that everything will be just as it is now," she told him motioning between the two of them.
"If this is the chance to save everyone, for you to be with your son again, then we will do whatever we must. Our children always come first. We will find a way through the consequences." He didn't say it lightly, understanding exactly what they were putting at risk.
Regina loved him so much. She wasn't asking his permission; she didn't have to. She would do the same for Roland, without question or hesitation. They were weaved together as a family, not just as a couple.
"When does all of this happen," he asked.
"Just before daybreak."
She lay back, falling into his arms. Her hair across his chest rose with every breath he took. Soon, they drifted to sleep.
He smiled the sort of smile that only he could. She was weak to him, and nothing had every felt so good. The air smelled of horses, a familiar scent that she knew well. The doors creaked against the breeze that blew through the stable. Her laugh lifted to the rafters. Robin took her hands, pulling her toward the door. She could hear their sons outside playing. They walked past the same doors that she opened as a child, the wood tarnished from years of wear and tear. Henry and Roland ran to them. This was her happy ending. The men she loved, standing together. When it happened, it happened quickly. A darkness covered them. When he fell, he fell hard. Robin collapsed to her left, the boys stood looking horrified. "Mom!" Henry yelled. Roland went to his father, trying to wake him as if from a nap. But, he wouldn't be waking up. Regina stood motionless. She couldn't react. She only realized what happened as the ashes of his heart threaded through her hand and onto the ground. "I thought you'd changed," Henry told her.
She flew out of his arms, her body prickled with sweat. Her hand went straight to his chest, spreading her fingers over him and searching for the normal rhythm of his heart. Hers, however, was beating wildly. It was a dream. He was fine.
She was startled by a laugh coming from the corner of the room. Though the darkness covered her green skin, the laugh gave her away.
"How progressive of you, Regina. A queen falling in love with a thief."
"That was you." Regina seethed with anger knowing Zelena caused the visions. Her arm went to Robin's, trying to wake him.
"Oh no, he won't be waking up."
Regina panicked, shaking him harder, "Robin!"
"Don't worry. He isn't dead. That would ruin all of my fun."
Regina reached again for Robin's chest. She needed proof that his heart was still beating, even though she felt it only moments before.
"You see, I learned something about you, Regina. Attacking you is useless. It's your damn martyr complex, so noble of you that it's sickening. But," she let her word hang, "attacking the ones you love. Well, that's much more productive. You made one fatal mistake, dear. You fell in love. You offered it up on a silver platter to me!" The way she said love made Regina's stomach turn. "I'm going to make your worst nightmare come true. Isn't that delicious?"
"I will never hurt him."
"Oh yes you will. You'll rip his heart out, just like our mother did to… What was his name again? Daniel?"
"Well, I see someone has been doing their homework." Regina struggled for some control in the conversation.
Zelena smiled, coming only now into enough light for Regina to see her face. Regina wondered for a moment how similar they must have looked, her the Evil Queen and her sister the Wicked Witch. They shared the similar sounds of heels clicking, audacious clothing, and vile intentions. Years ago, they wouldn't have been that different.
"There is nothing that will ever make me touch his heart," Regina told her, shaking off the thoughts of resemblance for her newer self.
"Well, it is your heart or his, little sister. But, I am not nearly as inelegant as you or Cora. No. Much too literal for my liking. I'm more," Zelena thought for a moment, "metaphorical, so to speak."
Zelena walked close, sitting on the edge of the bed near Robin. She trailed her finger down Robin's bare chest. Regina's teeth clenched together. Regina restrained herself from giving into her tensed muscles desire to lunge toward this witch. She knew she couldn't protect them both from her. It wouldn't be wise.
"Jealous?" Regina spouted.
Zelena stood, broom appearing in her hand. "If you think I am bluffing, dear, then you should remember the bloodline that we share. We don't bluff." Zelena sounded a bit more agitated, and Regina was satisfied that she had hit a nerve.
"You will break his heart, or I will kill him and that mop top that he calls a son."
"And what do you gain from that?" Regina was steely-eyed. She wouldn't let her panic of hearing her threaten Roland show.
"Nothing at all. That's the juiciest part."
Zelena lifted from the ground, laughing at how she was winning.
As soon as Zelena was out of sight, Regina bolted from the bed and out the door toward Roland. She flung the door open to find ruffled curls spread across the pillow, his nose crinkling and breath skipping a beat at the sound of her opening the door. She tried to slow herself down, but it wasn't until she walked to him and brushed the curls from his eyes that she was able to return to bed.
It was almost time to meet Snow and Charming, Regina knew. She lay beside Robin, watching him sleep. She knew that tomorrow, she would have to summon something from deep within her in order to protect them. She wouldn't risk Zelena making good on her threat. Zelena would surely be swept away with them in this curse, so going to Storybrooke wouldn't protect them. She would do what needed to be done as long as it meant he and Roland would be safe.
It was just as well, she thought. She knew that all of this was too good to be true. It couldn't last forever, no matter how much they loved one another. No matter how tightly they held on to one another, something would always come between her and her happiness.
She didn't waste the time of trying to fall asleep again. Though she longed to be next to him, it was torture to know it would be the last time. This couldn't go on. She pulled on the same dress she had taken off only a few hours before. It was unlike her to care so little about what she wore, but none of it would matter in a few hours. None of it mattered now, when she was about to break both of their hearts.
She heard him waking up, as if on cue. The sun would be up soon, and Snow and Charming were no doubt waiting for her.
"I'm going with you," were the first words he spoke to her.
"No. I'm going alone." She closed her eyes, mustering any of the Evil Queen she may have left within her. She needed the woman who convinced a genie to betray his liberator. She needed the woman who took what she wanted. Regina pulled her shoulders back, and her face went dark.
He thought is was odd that she would answer him so harshly, but he knew that what she was going to need to do would be hard on her. When he walked toward her, he felt an ice in the air.
"Regina, I want to go. I want to be there with you." His hands went to her shoulders.
She shrugged off his touch as if it revolted her. "Don't you get it thief? This is done. I have no use for you anymore. I have what I want at my finger tips, playing house with you if finished."
"Regina, you don't mean that." He was baffled. This wasn't her, but whoever it was, he couldn't stop her.
"Don't I? If you honestly think that a queen could ever love an outlaw, then you are more pathetic than I thought!" She yelled at him loud enough to send an echo down the hall.
"Regina, I love you."
He almost broke her when he told her that he loved her, but she found resolve. She walked right up to him, almost nose to nose with him. She looked him directly in his eyes, "Well, I don't love you." She laughed at the way he recoiled for her words. Regina left him where he stood and slammed the door behind her.
Robin was dazed. It escalated, for what he did not know. He had no idea how everything had gotten so out of hand, so senseless. That was what bothered him most. It didn't make sense. She knew him. She knew that he loved her, and he knew that she loved him.
When the door shut, Regina fell crumpled against it for a moment. She inhaled sharply, as if being released from the tight box that was the Evil Queen. It took every ounce of anger left within her to tell him the lie of not loving him, but if it saved them, it would be worth the hurt that she knew would stay with her forever. Her fists clenched the fabric of her dress. She couldn't stop to lick her wounds because she would run back into his arms. She didn't have the time because she had to meet Snow and Charming.
She pushed herself off the door, drawing air into her lungs for strength. She straightened her posture and wiped her eyes. She walked down the deserted hall until she reached a clump of people gathering, no doubt the Charmings had spread word of their impending sacrifice. Snow gravitated toward Regina.
"Zelena was here. We need to do this now," Regina told her. Snow's eyes were tinted the same shade of red as Regina's, and the Queen's heart broke again for them. The two of them, she thought, would not be of much use to anyone by the time this curse was cast.
Snow nodded in agreement, her hand going to Charming's elbow. They found the center of the castle. Regina placed the ingredients carefully into the cauldron, the bubbling giving off the smell of revenge. This curse was meant to hurt, not save, and its scent reeked of it. It was ready.
Regina gave them a moment, knowing it would be their last together. She thought of Robin, and she had pity on Snow and Charming. At least she would have the comfort of knowing Robin and Roland were safe, at least they would be alive. Snow could not say the same.
"I won't lie. This is going to hurt," Regina told him.
Back in Regina's chambers, Robin was still reeling from her words. He couldn't let things end this way. Something was wrong, and he needed to find her. He ran down the corridor until he reached the bedroom where Roland slept; he grabbed the boy up from his sleep, resting his head on his shoulder. He kept running until he found the group of people huddled about the hall. They knew the curse was coming. Robin found little John, depositing the boy in his arms.
"John, have you seen Regina? I need to find her."
Robin was breathless from running.
"She went with Snow and Charming. I heard her tell Snow that Zelena was here. They had to hurry. Robin, the curse is coming."
"Zelena?"
The pieces clicked into focus for him. Something had happened. He had to find Regina.
She held the Prince's heart in her hand, and then Snow was left to do what she must. Regina watched as they sacrificed their love for one another. Their eyes were locked, trying to savor every moment until their last. Charming fell lifeless to the ground, and Snow fell along with him. Regina longed to have an answer, but nothing came.
Regina's heart jumped when she heard the familiar laugh of her sister. Green powder left Zelena's hand, dropping into the billowing smoke of the cauldron.
"So sad that he had to die in vain," she told them. "And, good luck defeating me if you cannot even remember who I am." Regina flushed with the desire to kill her, not wanting to waste a moment more listening to her laughing.
"Regina! Do something, please."
"I can't Snow. Once the curse has been cast, it cannot be stopped."
Snow sat silent for a moment, the smoke glowing green now and growing higher. Then, Snow was flooded with the solution. "Regina, I need you to rip out my heart."
This wasn't the first time Snow asked Regina to take her heart, but this time, she had no desire to do so. They had come too far.
"Regina, please. Charming and I have always been of one heart. I know my heart is strong enough for both of us!"
"Snow," Regina more like Snow's mother in that moment than she ever had, "This isn't like plucking a flower. If it doesn't work, you will die."
"But I won't. Regina, please. I know it will work."
"How? How can you know that?"
"Faith! I have hope. I know it will work, please."
Regina kneeled in front of Snow. A tear rolled down her face at the thought of losing the young woman, especially by her own hand. She did as the young woman asked, reaching into her chest and pulling her heart from its place. Regina looked at Snow, and twisted. At Snow's wince, the heart halved, and Regina pulled it apart. When she looked down at the red glow, the two parts still beat. Relief waved over her, and she wasted no time putting the hearts back in their chests. Regina kept a firm hand on Snow, waiting for a sign that her faith had not been misplaced. Charming gasped, sucking in the air his lungs needed.
Regina stood, amazed that it worked. They both lived; they beat the price of magic. The smoke rose high in the sky, green mixing with purple. It fled the cauldron, reaching for Regina's feet.
"Regina!"
She heard his voice through the smoke. It was beginning to rise high, overtaking most of the room.
"Robin?"
"She threatened you, didn't she? That's why you said all of those things."
Regina's eyes fell as Robin's hands reached for her.
"Regina, tell me the truth."
When she didn't say anything, he took her by the shoulders, "Regina, please. Whatever she said, we can find our way through it."
"She was going to kill you and Roland. She will still try to kill you, Robin. Don't you see? This is what loving me looks like!"
He didn't respond, he just took her in his arms.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," she told him. "I do love you."
"We will beat her. We will find a way."
"Robin, you don't understand. Where we are going, we won't remember each other. We will forget everything between us. Zelena made sure of that."
"No, Regina. That's impossible. I don't think I could ever forget meeting you."
"Just," she choked out, "Make it to me."
He leaned in and kissed her as the green smoke engulfed them, whisking them away to another realm and separating them.
Regina opened her eyes to see the morning light streaming through her window. Nothing made sense. They were taken away by Pan's curse, but she was here in her bed and silk pajamas. She jumped from her bed, going to Henry's room. He wasn't there. The blue blankets lay neatly across his bed, untouched. She hugged herself tightly, trying to comfort herself from the absence of her son. It hadn't been a dream, but she didn't understand why they weren't back in the Enchanted Forest. This was a fate worse than death, living in a house where they made so many memories.
She needed to find Mary Margaret and David. There had to be an explanation. She found her closet, still full of clothes. As she rid herself of the silk pajamas, something took over her senses. Honey and tobacco? It was such an odd smell, certainly not hers. It was foreign, but oddly familiar.
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