Chapter 10

Welcome back for more fun. We are now serving chapter 10 of this lovely fic. For many of you, this fic has gotten a bit too dark, sorry... those plot bunnies are a little on the sadistic train at the moment... hopefully we shall get some romance back into the picutre... oh it will happen somehow... but first we need to see what is going on... is Tai alive?

I am glad to see those review numbers in the double digits! They make me happy. If only they would equal the numbers of Favorites or Alert numbers, but oh well. I will try not to let my ego be too abused.

Thanks for those who are taking the time to write me a note! I do so enjoy it!

"She's been sleeping for nearly two days now." Matt said sitting next the to sleeping and still exhausted girl's side. Joe had entered the room to check on her. The room they were in suddenly shook with a great force but neither boy paid much attention to it.

Since Sora's rescue, Myotismon's minions had been going on a rampage. The group had fled to under ground fortifications created by Gennai and his group the last time evil threatened the digital world. They would be safe for the moment. As long as the enemy did not know exactly where they were, the group could weather the storm. But for how long was the question plaguing everyone's minds.

It was hard just sitting around, planning attacks, talking about strategy knowing that one of your comrades was in such bad shape, put through things no one should, and another was most likely dead… or full blown evil by now.

Matt did not know how to feel about Tai's apparent death. He had disliked the boy for a long time, but not to the point of wishing death on him… and he had never ever wanted to see Sora suffer so much. In reality, Matt was always jealous of the way Tai could interact with people. The out going personality was something that came hard for the quieter, thoughtful blond. It was that type of personality that attracted Sora, and created a bond that could never be matched with any other person. He looked over at her and smoothed out some of her hair, careful of the bruises that littered her body. As much as he did not like to see her skin marred like this, he knew they would heal. The body could be fixed to a point. Her external wounds were not life threatening. However, the inner ones were what worried Matt.

"It's better that she sleeps and gains her strength." Joe said quietly, not wanting to disturb her.

"I don't know if she can take this." Matt voiced his concerns. "I'm worried about her… thinking she killed him… I think she might try to kill herself."

"She's stronger than we give her credit for." Joe said touching Matt's shoulder.

"But not when it comes to him…" Matt hated this feeling. He hated being only a friend with Sora. He hated the power Tai had over the girl he loved, and Matt hated the boy for not seeing it sooner. Tai could be such an idiot.

"We will have to be there for her... I don't think Tai actually raped her... there were no... signs of penetration. But he was close... I can't fathom what has changed him to the point where he would even think of doing something like that to her."

"I am sure that whatever is powering Myotismon, or what ever the hell he is now, isn't helping any." Matt said with a sigh.

Matt spent a few more minutes sitting there with her in silence after Joe left. He knew that he was needed with the others. They had some revenge to plan after all; and a comrade to save. But he just could not force himself to leave her side.

Letting out another sigh, something he was doing more often lately, he decided to get some fresh air, or as fresh of air as they could in this under ground safe house. Standing up, he looked down on the nearly broken girl. Leaning in for a kiss, he hesitated. It would not be right to kiss her on the lips after what had just happened to her. He knew he wanted to, but decided to opt for a kiss to the forehead instead.

Tai had not finished raping her, but the damage was just as bad, he thought sadly. Their once strong and righteous leader had forced himself on her, and doing that in any amount could in many ways be considered rape.

His lips brushed her forehead lightly and then he stood. Turning to go to the door he felt a hand grab at his arm. Her soft whimpers from the bed made him quickly turn back to her. She was waking up.

"Don't go." She pleaded in a fragile voice. Matt was sitting at her side in a second. Grabbing the glass of water Joe had left, he eased the glass to her lips. Sora took the water in, spilling a little here and there from the corner of her lips. He could tell she was thirsty. She had not taken in many fluids since they found her, and the last time she must have eaten or drank anything was when she was with Gennai before she went in to open the portal. Joe was already worried about dehydration. He had looked everywhere for something that could be used as an IV, but there was nothing.

"Careful now." Matt said not letting her drink too fast. "It's ok Sora. You're safe now."

"Tai?" She called slowly opening her eyes to find the kind and warm hands were not belonging to the boy she had hoped would be there with her.

"No, it's me. Matt." He smiled for her knowing all too well she would have preferred he be a brown haired goggle head. "Sora, do you remember what happened?"

"I was… attacked…"

"Yeah. But you're safe for now." Matt said helping to prop her up with a few pillows and blankets. As he did, Sora took in her surroundings.

"I had a horrible nightmare." She whispered to him. Matt didn't know what to say, so he finished getting her comfortable, and sat down, never letting go of her hand. "But… only it wasn't a nightmare… it was real, wasn't it?"

Matt couldn't look into her eyes. The emotions welling in her crimson orbs were too much for his heart to bear. How could this girl have such a power over him, even now?

"Oh God…" She sobbed covering her face with a trembling hand.

"Sora… look at me." Matt said dropping her hand and touching her face only to have her pull away from his touch.

Suddenly she dropped her hand and took a deep breath.

"I know you want to tell me that everything will be fine… and that I had no choice… that he was doing something horrible… but it still does nothing for how I feel…" Her anger surprised him. He had not expected her to lash out like this.

"I had a choice Matt… anyway you look at it… I… I… I killed the man I love… It's true I wasn't ready, but it was still Tai, right? I… I… could… I could have gotten used to it… because it was Tai…"

"Don't think like that!" Matt said his voice now showing anger as well. "It was wrong any way you look at it! You didn't want to! You didn't have a choice!"

"But I love him!" Her anger faded and left her sobbing. Matt sighed. He knew that. He knew she loved Tai… he had been stupid to think he could change those feelings when he had asked her out on those dates. It seemed like so long ago when he thought he had a chance with her... He could never fill her heart like Tai did… not even now when Tai might be gone.

"Don't give up hope Sora… he may still be alive." Matt said trying to console a sobbing girl. His arms wrapped around her shaking frame and they stayed like that for a time. Sora calmed and looked up at him.

"I don't know how he could be… and even if he was… he is an enemy now… and it's my fault."

"No, it is not." Matt said rubbing her back. "If it is anyone's fault, it is that bastard digimon who can't seem to die."

"But…"

"Tai made a choice. He gave his life for you because he loved you… Myotismon took advantage of that love and warped Tai into something that isn't Tai. Sora, if Tai is dead… he was dead long before he hit him… you saved him Sora. You gave him peace."

"But why does that not seem to matter… I can't… we will never get to…"

"I know it hurts. And I don't want to tell you lies… it will hurt. I've had my heart broken many times… and I know that I won't understand your level of emotions completely… the ones I love are still alive… but in time, things will get better."

"How?"

"You learn to go on with life. The one you love can't return those feelings, so you grieve and then pick up the pieces."

"Thanks Matt…" She forced a smile.

"You aren't alone Sora. You have lots of friends to help you through this… but now, just rest. You need to get your strength back. We will defeat that monster just like we always do."

Before she could say any more Matt pulled her into a hug and stayed there just holding her. After a time he patted her on the back and reluctantly let her go. She needed to rest, well he did. Being near her in such a state was wearing on his heart... he understood why she was not smiling... but it still hurt to not see her smile.

"I'll send in Mimi and a few others if you feel like some company. They've wanted to talk to you for a while now. Unless, you'd rather sleep... this is totally understandable." Matt said trying to read Sora's expression.

"No, I'd like some company actually... help keep my mind off things... you know." She smiled for him, a smile that was a genuine Sora smile. This made Matt feel better.

"Oh, and will you keep me informed of what is going on with the..." She didn't know what or how to describe their current predicament.

"Will do." He patted her hand and stood.

"Hey, Matt... how do you stop the pain?"

"You don't... but it gets better with time." He smiled sadly watching her clutch the cloth near her heart. In truth time didn't always heal the wounds of the heart. In his case, his heart was still not healed from its last heart break. He looked at her once again and prayed that the girl he loved would not feel the continued pain... he hoped time would help for her.

A/n:

Well, if you showed up to see if Tai's alive or not, sorry. You will have to wait in suspense for a little longer.

I hope you all are enjoying this story. I think the plot bunny war is now close to ending. Which means I know where I am going. To those of you who made suggestions on how the plot should go- thank you, I may or may not use them. I will just let my hands and mind fly free. This is actually the fist fic that I have not really plotted things down for and that I am not sure how the end will happen… don't know if that is a good or bad thing… see what happens when I don't try to control myself? Murder, torture, angst! Wow!

Anyway, review!