Subtlety

The next day came. Everyone had the willies that morning. Because we didn't know when we were going to take off for the next part of our mission, we all became very anxious, fearing that Balrog would get on the loudspeaker and abruptly yell at us to get ready. It was a wise fear, since that is usually what happens when he doesn't wake us up at 5:30.

Not wanting spend my time dreading the inevitable, I went back into the lab to check on the progress of the newly-labeled X-Pills. Breaker was just snoozing on the couch when I entered, I think. His robot was at the worktable, assembling what looked like a pair of giant handcuffs.

Medicine was more up the alley of Barbie, and it was her that I saw wearing goggles and a lab coat. She was adding chemicals to a pill dispenser and sometimes used her laser eyes on the mixture within. I hovered over to her, so as not to make noise and watched over her shoulder. A few minutes in, I tapped her on the shoulder and she jumped.

"Bane!" Barbie said, through surprised pink goggles. "Please don't do that. Blackjack used to pop out of nowhere and scare me when we were little, and I hated it."

I smiled as I remembered that. Blackjack was a practical jokester as child who always enjoyed giving anyone a big spook alongside Bear. Then I frowned as I remembered that was before we lost Bear.

Barbie, Blackjack, Bear and Belladonna were all from the same litter, all 28 years old now, save for Bear, who we lost five years ago to Morbucks. Balrog, Blizzard and Brace were from the same litter too, now at age 30. Blaze, Bud and Bunny were from the same litter as me. We're all 25 now. Brutus, Burgundy, and Bumblebee's litter is now 22 years old. And Breaker, Bomber and Boysenberry's is at age 20. We always came in litters of four, and it seemed that my group was the only one to have not lost a member so far (unless you count Beast, Bullseye, Brandy and Bayonet). I felt lucky and guilty at the same time.

"Sorry. I just wanted to know how the pills were coming along." I said.

"Well, funny you should ask." Barbie replied, pulling a lever on the dispenser, which started whirring and producing soft clanks.

A few seconds later, orange and black pills the size of peanuts started coming out in the same manner as coins from a slot machine. "This should provide the best kind of protection, although I need a test subject to be sure…"

A crazy idea spawned in my head. I took one of the pills and dropped it down my throat as quick as a flash. I could already feel the effects. A cool, tingly sensation covered my nerves before working its way into my muscles and skin.

Barbie didn't even know what happened until two seconds later. I grabbed an Antidote X laser rifle and tossed it to her. She fumbled with it for a second before she got ahold of it.

"Shoot me." I said, smiling and holding my arms to the side.
"I wasn't asking for volunteers!" she cried, raising her voice.
"Hey, I already feel it." I said, feigning confidence. "It's working. Go ahead."
"Are you sure?" Barbie said with great concern.
"Positive." I lied.

Barbie slowly raised the rifle and pointed it at my chest, her arms trembling. My smile faltered a little. With every passing moment, we got more and more nervous. I started sweating. What if it didn't work? I would be the first in my litter to go! At that thought, my nerves forced me to turn sideways.

Barbie made a pained face. She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath... and lowered the rifle.

"I can't do it." she quipped under her voice.
"Me neither." I admitted.
"You two are pathetic." Balrog said, coming out of nowhere. He picked up the rifle. "Avada Kedavra." He pointed it at my chest and fired without a second's hesitation. I flinched. The laser briefly lit up the room before it hit my shoulder.

I blinked. I should have been blasted to the floor. My arm should have been half off my shoulder. But the only visible damage came from my clothes

"See? It worked."
"Balrog are you insane?!" Barbie scolded. "You could have killed Bane!"
"Yeah, but I didn't, because you're a genius."
"Don't try to flatter me!"
"Don't tell me what to do, woman. I'm the leader."
"I should be the leader!"
"Is that a challenge?!" Balrog quipped, grinning maliciously.
Barbie hesitated, taken back by the bloodthirsty look on Balrog's face. "No."
"I thought not. How long do these pills last?"
"About fifteen minutes each."

Balrog grabbed the entire 47 X-Pills and put them into a ziplock bag. "Then we are good to go!" He turned and flew out of the library and presumably toward his room to gear up for the mission.

Knowing what lied before, I went to the ruff's bedroom and started to change into my gear. I had just put on a replacement hoodie when Balrog got on the loudspeaker.

"ALL ADULT PUFFRUFFS! WE ARE OFFICIALLY READY FOR PHASE TWO OF MY GRAND MASTER PLAN! SO GET TO YOUR ROOMS AND GET READY! WE SHALL MEET IN THE SHUTTLECRAFT IN TEN MINUTES SHARP! HAVE YOUR NEW EQUIPMENT WITH YA AND GET READY TO KICK BARON'S BUTTOOSKI AND GET FILTHY RICH!" he hollered.

My highly annoyed-looking brothers came in right as I was tightening my Bane mask around my bandanna and cranium. I left for the shuttlecraft, while the ruffs got ready.

To my surprise, I found that Bud had beaten me there. She had bright eyes and an eager smile. She was sitting in with a schoolgirl's posture, even though she was more of a tomboy.

"What's with you?" I asked.
"Oh nothing." she assured me, her voice a little higher than usual. "Just… a little excited for the mission."
"Really? I thought you'd be pissed that we'd have to go on two missions in the same week. That, and the fact that you like never smile."
"I do too! Just because I'm rough and tough, doesn't mean I'm a grouch!"
"So why are you excited?"
"Oh, it's kinda nice to think that we're finally going to get rid of Morbucks… and that we're gonna be rich afterwards!" That last part she whispered so that I could barely hear it.

"Uh huh," I said skeptically. I took the pilot's seat and waited for everyone to file in. The turnout was the same as last time, plus Belladonna. Blaze was wearing his own mask, which looked like a flamethrower. Bumblebee had her shockwave amplifier strapped to her back like a backpack. I couldn't see Berry's gun, so I assumed she ate it.

We shot off for Earth once Balrog got in the copilot seat and started barking at me like a hyperactive drill sergeant. We were all even more compelled to obey him because his new hat made him look more mature.

A few minutes into flying I noticed the fuel gauge at three eighths of the way full.

"Uh, Ball? We're kinda runnin' low on fuel."
"Yes, I know."
"You do?"
"Duh, nimrod! It says it right there! And besides, that's part of my plan. We go to that gas station a few miles outside of Townsville. We're going to need lots and lots of gasoline for the mission."

So we flew for six neutral hours and landed on the highway between Townsville and Citiesville. It was 10:00 at night so I landed the craft stealthily and drove it like an RV to the aforementioned gas station.

The lights were on and there was a car at one of the pumps, but there was no one in sight. Bunny, Brutus and I disembarked. Me to fill up the tank (and 10-gallon bottles), Bunny to clean the windshield, and Brutus just because he was only other one awake and needed to get some fresh air and legroom.

"Wow." I said, inserting a wrinkly 500-dollar bill into the pump. "Eight bucks for a gallon of gas."
"Yeah, looks like Morbucks is doing some good for the economy after all!" Bunny chirped.
"Yup." I said uneasily. "But don't go saying anything too nice about him. He is our nemesis and we must keep him on our bad side if we're going to win this war."

I yanked the bill out once the machine approved my payment method. It was a trick Brace had taught me. You hole-punch a dollar bill, tie a pie of string to it, insert it into the machine, and yank it out when you're done paying. This trick saved us a lot of money. For as long as I can remember, we only had the one 500, but that would soon change.

I started filling up the tank, Bunny started cleaning the craft and Brutus hopped on top of it to stretch. When the tank was full I moved on to filling the twelve 10-gallon water bottles with gasoline. Then we saw someone come out of the store.

Bunny and I instantly became nervous. It was a man that looked to be in his forties and when he reached his car, his eyes fell upon our craft, and then us.

Bunny had a frightened look on her face that told me she thought everything she loved had been threatened. I had a similar expression, but my Bane mask hid it well and probably made me look more intimidating than I was feeling. Brutus, on the other hand, was smirking.

The man didn't see Bunny, just me and Brutus. His eyes grew wide as we stared at each other for a few moments.

"Yo, wassup?" Brutus asked casually. The man turned around and darted for the building as if he was told he was going to die. Brutus pulled out a spaceball and threw it at the man, striking him in the back of the noggin and knocking him out cold. Bunny and I sighed in relief while Brutus laughed.

I quickly looked around to see if there were any security cameras. When I didn't see any, I continued to fill up the bottles. When they were all full, we brought them in and gave one bottle each to our now-awake comrades. There was one for each of us, but Bunny and Blaze ended up holding mine and Balrog's, because we were sitting up front.

We drove into Townsville, thankful that it didn't have much of a night life. We maneuvered our way to Morbucks Manor. The mansion was the size of a hotel. There was no surprise there, but it was certainly intimidating.

"Blackjack, I want you to scout the entire building. Work out a route to the vault. Tell me the personnel present within the mansion. And take a careful account of the security around the vault." Balrog ordered.

Blackjack saluted silently and ghosted out of the shuttle. Almost everyone looked nervous. The exceptions were Berry, because kooks aren't afraid of anything, the luckies, Burgundy, who was great at hiding her fear, and Bud, who had that unnaturally happy look on her face again.

It took Blackjack ten minutes to come back with his report. "Baron Morbucks is in the master bedroom on the fifth floor. He is currently sleeping with some concubine. There isn't much human security, just a couple of lightly sleeping bodyguards. There's a route through the garage to the vault. The vault itself is guarded by four sentries, and there's a bio-scan lock on it. If we force it open the alarm will sound off."

"Just the way I want it…" Balrog snickered, grinning wickedly. He took out the X-Pills and ordered each of us to take two.

"Alright, folks this is it! Tonight, we are gonna put Morbucks outta business the old-fashioned way! We're gonna bust into the vault, take all the money the shuttle can carry, and burn the rest!" Bud squealed in delight. "But remember: this isn't about us getting rich, it's about destroying Morbucks! Now let's go piss off the ruler of the world!"

"YEAH!" we all cheered, exiting the craft. Burgundy picked up the shuttlecraft as soon as we were all outside.

"Lead the way, Blackjack!" Balrog ordered. Blackjack zipped off around the left side of the manor and we all followed him. We found the garage door and busted it down, no problem. The alarms went off, but we ignored them. We zipped inside, leaving a rainbow of colorful trails in our wake. We passed dozens of fancy cars. Burgundy show her respect for fancy automobiles by dragging her right sword across the hoods of automobiles on the left.

Blackjack led us down to the lowest levels of the mansion and halfway down a dark corridor before he held his arm to stop us.

"Stop. The sentries are just ahead." He warned.
"Alright, Bumblebee! Let's see what that fan of yours can do!" Balrog shouted.

Bumblebee nodded. She reached behind her back and pulled a cord, starting her shockwave amplifier up in a way similar to a lawn mower. Then she moved to the front of the pack and unleashed her shockwaves, which seemed less transparent and more zigzagged than we remembered. They traveled as far as the eye could see, which wasn't much, considering that they knocked the lights out.

"Ah drat! Blaze, give us a torch, will you not?" I asked with my mask's voice.
"Oh yeah, sure thing!" Blaze came to the front of the pack with his mask on as well. He took a deep breath… and sent a long jet of fire all the way across the hallway with help of his of his mask. The fire illuminated the chamber up ahead. The four sentry guns were crackling with electricity and pointing at the ground, clearly malfunctioning.

"Bomber, take out those guns! Now!" Balrog ordered. Bomber zipped past us, preparing to explode.

"I am Bomber! BLOW ME UP!" he yelled before the chamber burst into a blue explosion and illuminated the entire corridor. As soon as the light faded, we all charged down towards the chamber, Bomber rejoining us upon rematerializing.

And then we stopped. Before us sat the vault. A huge gray door separated us from the mountain of moolah that made us miserable.

Bud looked absolutely beside herself, trying to contain her excitement. Balrog, on the other hand, just smirked victoriously. He walked up to it like a boss, ripped the valve of it like it was the plastic cap of a bottled water, and turned to us, stylishly.

"I told you we could do it!" he boasted. "Make no mistake, my brethren! Baron Morbucks is probably panicking like a rabbit in a fox's jaw! When we leave her tonight, he will throw the hissy fit of the century. It is time we make Morbucks pay for what he's done to us! Literally!" Balrog pried open the door a crack. Bud and Berry squealed again. "Now without further ado! Ladies and mental gen! Pyros and demomen! I present to you… the dragon's hoard!"

Balrog swung the door open and we gasped.