Starts and Stops
If she was being honest, she would have to say that it was very disappointing. Ayako had been eagerly anticipating the hour her night class would end and the time where her usual train rides with Sendoh would begin. She had so much to tell him. From her father's ridiculous over-protectiveness to Sakuragi's newfound behavior, Ayako could only imagine the laughs these stories would provoke from the usually cheerful young man. She was thus a little more than upset to find her conversation and her attempts to relate her day's events rebuffed by her confidante.
His behavior that evening was unusual. Instead of his typical friendly manner and the assured grin he usually wore on his face, Ayako found that Sendoh that evening was particularly fidgety. He seemed nervous throughout the train ride. Several times, he opened his mouth as if to say something, but then shaking his head, he would retreat and clam up again, keeping all his unspoken thoughts wrapped up in an aura of agitated mystery. Ayako tried her best to draw him out by launching into different conversations over various topics of interest, but no particular area of dialogue seemed to hold his attention. Instead, it seemed as though the young man's thoughts were far-away and there was some other question that preoccupied his mind.
At one point in the evening, Ayako, in her impatience to figure out the change in her friend's behavior, clamped her hand against his forehead to check his temperature. She reasoned that his current behavior could be the outcome of some illness or fever. Ayako was well aware that it was a stretch in reasoning but even that feeble rationale failed her as she found his forehead to be as cool as hers. In fact the only reward she gained from her sudden action was to observe the young man nearly jump out of his skin. To her annoyance, he shifted uncomfortably to the corner of his seat and sat squashed against the window. It was as if he was trying to put some distance between them and despite her attempts to explain his behavior to herself, Ayako realized that she could not help feeling deeply aggrieved by his actions.
And so they had sat in awkward silence. She, fuming quietly, he, swallowing hard whilst repeatedly clenching and un-clenching his fist. As the train ride continued and Sendoh remained stubbornly inarticulate and mute, Ayako felt part of her peevishness melt away with the retiring of the day. In the end, she was resigned to the fact that whatever secret he could not bring himself to tell her, he probably had good reasons for his discretion and that she would come to know when the time was right and he was ready.
Sendoh watched as Ayako waved goodbye to him as she alighted at her stop. As the train doors closed, Sendoh let out a loud, audible groan and mentally kicked himself for his stupidity. Taking out the crumpled piece of paper in his wallet, he looked over the checklist of items he was supposed to have accomplished. On the crumpled note, he had listed three objectives. Completing any one of the three would have counted as mission accomplished. Instead, he had attempted neither of the listed tasks.
His hastily scribbled agenda contained the following:
1. Ask Ayako out on a date
2. If not, ask for her phone number
3. If not, give her the tulip hidden in his backpack
None of the above was achieved and "none of the above" was never supposed to be an option. Yet, for all his ferocity on the court, Sendoh did not know how to channel that boldness into his current relationship. How exactly did one undergo a conversion from train buddies to more-than-friends? Part of him worried that if he tipped the balance and pushed too hard, he would upset their delicate cosmos and he feared she would say "That's not what I meant, that's not what I meant at all"
And yet, the current situation seemed unsustainable. Every part of him seemed on fire when she was near. And while he longed for the easy camaraderie they shared in the past, he realized he also wanted something beyond the friendly punches and teases. He made up his mind that if he alone, could not find a way to communicate his intentions, then he would seek advice. And who better to ask than the person who already shared intimate knowledge of his relationship. And so since this intermediate goal seemed less daunting that the three written on his crumpled note, Sendoh determined that he would hear Koshino out and ask for his suggestions. After all, weren't two heads supposed to better than one?
Later that evening, Sendoh's mother received a pleasant surprise as her son presented her with a tulip that he had so artfully hidden in his backpack.
Author's note: Short chapter before bed. Comments and thoughts welcome! This chapter may be a tad draggy. In my mind, i had a theme of "Sendoh spurs into inaction" and wanted to write with that catchphrase in mind.