Chapter 10 The Train's Off the Rails
9 months later
Jac was staring though the window, staring at the man she loved holding his child, Joseph's child, not Jac and Joseph's child, Faye and Joseph's child. She had never been a maternal woman, well not until now. She would give up everything to be in that room, for that to be her child he was holding. Joseph's head turned and he mouthed something, 'come in'. She went to the door and entered the room. Faye was asleep on the bed. Jac perched on the leg of the chair. "I'd like you to meet Harry." Jac looked down at the bundle in Joseph's arms and took a deep breath in. He had Joseph's eyes, his blue eyes. "Nice to meet you, Harry." She barely got the words out. Joseph looked up at her and smiled. "Do you want to hold him?" She was about to shake her head, when she decided that she would. She nodded. Joseph passed the child to her and she held him. She had held small children before but this felt different, this was the child of the man she loved. "Why? Why did you want me to hold him? It's hard Joseph. So hard." Joseph looked at her, weariness in his eyes, but also there was also spark, a spark of happiness. Joseph had moved in to Jac's house months ago and both of them were determined not to put a foot wrong. They were both happy; together. "I wanted to see you holding my child." He said, and she could almost hear the sadness in his voice. The tears were pricking at her eyelids now. "Don't, Joseph." She said but that was all she could get out before the tears came tumbling down her cheeks. "This should be our child, Joe, our child." She hadn't called him Joe in a long while. Joseph nodded, and she saw a solitary tear creep down his cheek.
8 weeks later
She was sitting in her office, completing some paperwork, when Joseph open the door and walked in. The first thing she noticed was that his eyes were full of sadness. "Come with me." He asked. Confusion and terror swept through her like a tidal wave. "And go where?" Joseph took a deep breath in. "I'm leaving. The hours are too long to be able to look after Harry. There is a GP practice, there's space for the both of us. Country life would do you well Jac Naylor. What do you say?" Jac didn't know what to say. "Can't…" He interrupted her. He seemed to know exactly what she was about to say. "No, she can't. That was the deal. One of us, not the both. She can see him, when I look after him or I can see him when she looks after him. I had to go for the first option. I love him too much." Jac nodded. "Will you come with me?" The tears are threatening to make an unwanted appearance. "I can't…" She didn't get any further before the tears came. "I can't." She repeated. He had come round in front of her now. "I understand Joseph. I just can't give everything up, ok?" He shakes he head. "Not ok." He whispered and for some reason they both laughed. Then the room went deathly silent again. "I love you." She managed to splutter out. He nodded. "I love you too." Then he kissed her and she kissed him back. 'The last kiss' she thought 'please make it last forever'. The kiss was over too soon and he stood up. "Goodbye." They managed to say before he left the room, and left Jac.
She stood at the window, staring at him as he climbed into his car. The tears came freely now, Jac didn't wipe them away. He turned the key in the ignition and drove out of the car park. 'I have lost him forever; I never get my happy ending do I?'