Chapter Ten – The Morning After

Pause if you must but don't stop

I know this is so sudden

But it feels so right

Having you here in my arms

Your heartbeat entwining with mine

Creating a perfect symphony

Just let go

And let the music play on

-Jace-

After Clary accidently brushed her butt against my crotch a few times, I felt myself becoming something more than aroused. I was filled with an animalistic lust.

But then she turned around and kept her eyes down, focusing intently on the bowl she was drying. I attempt to shake my head free of the naughty thoughts that were brewing. I had just slid the napkins into the cabinet above her head when she turned around abruptly.

I looked down at her, the thoughts I worked so hard to rid myself of slowly creeping back into the forefront of my mind. There she was, the Clary I remembered and loved. The one who gave herself to me all those years ago.

As I stared at her, I could see the arousal apparent in her jade orbs. The rest of the world seemed to slow down when I closed the gap between us, pulling her body into mine as our lips collided in a perfect unison of hunger and desire. Clary's lips parted and suddenly I couldn't get enough of her. She must have felt the same way because her hands snaked up my sides and pulled me closer to her, slamming her chest into mine.

I reached beneath her and placed her on the counter, wanting to take our connection to a more in intimate level, I pulled off my shirt. As soon as my eyes returned to hers, she was putting her hand in-between us. She was breathing heavy like I but I didn't care to obtain more of the life force. In that moment all I needed was her.

So I leaned forward and begged her, "Pause if you must but don't stop. Please."

She looked down at the ring sitting on her left hand and I felt my heart slowly deflate. I had been so caught up in my own desires that I allowed myself to forget that she was engaged. But clary surprised me as she slid the ring off and placed it on the counter next to her.

My eyes asked the question my mouth couldn't speak. She nodded and smiled seductively as she told me, "Tonight, I want you. Just you."

I nodded robotic like as I gather her in my arms and carried her bridal style up the stairs to my bedroom. I kicked open the door and laid her down in the middle of my bed, slowly sliding her shirt up over her head. I threw it to the side as she removed her bra. I leaned over her, running a thumb across her lips before placing a passionate kiss upon them.

"I never stopped loving you Clary." I whispered in her ear.

She looked back at my, searching my eyes for signs of falsehood but there was none. Try as I might, I could never truly stop loving her. I backed up and unzipped my jeans as she did the same.

As I stood in front of her in all my semi-nude glory, I reminded myself just like last time there would be no going back from this. I slowly approached the bed as she sat on her feet. When I pulled her closer once more, she wrapped her legs around my waist, grinding on my groin as she kissed me with fervor. A throaty moan escaped my lips before I pushed her back, adjusting her hips so she was balancing on the balls of her feet.

I lowered my head, leaving a trail of kisses and love marks on her creamy skin before removing her underwear along with my own. I grabbed a condom from my wallet, having learned my lesson from the last time Clary and I were intimate. Once sheathed, I proceeded to tease her, slowly rubbing my cock against her lips. As I slipped up and down, she moaned and begged me to stop.

"Quit being a tease." She moaned.

I leaned forward and muttered in her ear. "But the anticipation is half the fun." I moved back slightly and held her gaze as I gently slid into her.

"Isn't it?" I questioned as I slowly pumped into her. She nodded and pulled me, her hands hugging me tight. When I felt she was ready, I picked up my speed and leaned back on my heels, spreading her legs further apart. I licked my thumb and pressed it against her bud, rotating it in circular motions. Clary let out a slight gasp, running her hands through her auburn hair.

I could feel her wall tightening around my cock so I picked her up and placed her right on my lap, thrusting upward and she bounced in rhythm and raked my back in extreme pleasure. A few seconds later, she moaned out "Oh, Jace" in a staccato, dragging out every syllable. I winced but didn't stop as she rocked in my lap, riding out the powerful that were still rolling through her body. And as she got her second wind, I let go of my load.

I eased out of her and headed into the bathroom to rid myself of the bodily fluid and clean my hands.

When I returned, clary was standing in front of the patio door. Her skin was bathed in moonlight and she never looked more beautiful. Feeling a bit mischievous, I snuck up behind her and slid a finger in her still soaked womanhood and fondled her nipples. She elicited a string of guttural moans and threw her head back, leaving her neck exposed for more love marks.

As I leaned in, I caught sight of our reflection in the glass. If it were anyone else, I would feel the urge to wink or something but with Clary; the need to be sarcastic wasn't there. And I didn't miss it. I changed up my finger motions, enjoying the sight of her writhing from my touch.

"Clary, look at us. Notice how we fit together, how perfect we are together." I pointed out. As her eyes opened and she took in our nakedness, there was no shame or desire to hide. I could see it in her eyes that she agreed with my sentiment.

I removed my finger and slipped in her once more, our eyes never leaving our reflections selves as we made love.

Once spent, I carried clary into the shower and cleaned us both off, loving that she would get in my bed, smelling of my soap and leaving her scent on my sheets.

I wrapped a towel around my waist and passed her one before heading into my closet to find her something to sleep in.

"I could have slept nude."

"Yeah but if you did, then I wouldn't get any sleep." I winked, slapping her playfully on her ass.

Clary shied away, dressing in an old button up of mine. I pulled on a pair of cotton sleep pants and threw the covers of the bed back. I waited until Clary was in the bed before shutting off the light and sliding in next to her.

When we were younger and we shared a bed, we slept facing each other, her hand in mine. But tonight, she slid across the invisible line between us and snuggled into my chest, placing her hand atop my heart. I wrapped my arm around her waist, pulling her closer placing my hand atop her.

Just as I felt myself drifting off Clary murmured words I never thought I would hear her lips speak again, "I love you Jace."

The next morning, it wasn't my alarm that woke me but a stream of sunlight attempting to pry open my eyes. I rolled over and was welcomed with the scent of Clary. I could feel myself smiling as I reached out to touch her. But all I felt was cold sheets. I woke up in a panic but relaxed when I saw her leaning against the railing of my deck. I threw back the covers and headed outside to join her.

The smile on my face, however, disappeared when I noticed she was twirling her engagement ring.

"I'm sorry if I woke you." she called out over her shoulder.

I shrugged it off and wrapped my arms around her waist, placing my chin on her shoulder. After some painfully silent moments, I asked if she regretted the events of the previous night.

"Is it odd that I don't?"

I shook my head. "Not at all."

She chuckled, claiming she knew that would be my answer. "Do you know I use to dream of you? After I left for school, ever so often I would dream of you."

"What about me did you dream of?"

"I used to dream of you in colors that didn't exist."

Unsure of how to take this, I tried to get Clary to look at me, to show her that she had nothing to be ashamed of. But she refused. I let out a sigh and backed up a bit before asking, "What are you going to do now?"

"I know I have a decision to make but you breathing down my neck isn't going to make it any easier. Just give me some time to think. We only just had sex last night."

"We did more than that. We made love, after which you told me you loved me. So excuse me if I'm a bit confused to see you out here staring at the ring as if last night didn't change things."

"I'm not saying that. But you came out here expecting me to have everything all figured out and ready to move forward with that decision. We just did…that last night and now I have no idea what to do."

"So what happened last night was just a fluke thing? Did it not mean something to you?"

"It did but now I need time to figure out what all this means. I have some qualms about why I don't regret last night but yet I still can't decide between the two of you. I need some time. And some space. Can you please give me some space?" she shouted at me and headed back inside to get dressed.

"Clary. Clary. Clary, stop! Why are you rushing to get away from me?"

"I just need to get out here. I need to get my car from the dock and get home." She stated, gathering her clothes and tearing off the shirt I gave her to sleep in. I nodded and offered to drive her but she shunned that idea, preferring to take a cab.

"Clary, I am driving you back to your car and that is the end of it!" I snapped, snatched a shirt from my closet and storming out.

I headed downstairs and grabbed my keys heading out to the garage, waiting for Clary to come down. When she finally did, she didn't avoided my eyes but she didn't say anything either. I stood there and kept waiting, waiting for a sign, a small glimmer of hope that she would choose me this time.

When we got back to Gosman's Dock, Clary jumped off the bike so fast you would have thought it was on fire. She couldn't get away from me fast enough but I didn't allow her to escape without me making a final plea.

"Clary, I allowed you to leave my life once without telling you how I felt. I would be a fool if I didn't speak up this time. I know you said that you need time but I want you to know that I love you. I know that we haven't exactly been on speaking terms in some time now but I don't care. I knew then and I know now that you are what I want."

I don't know what I was expecting from her. What I wasn't expecting was for Clary to tell me she loved me but still needed time before getting in her car and driving away.